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Punishing a masochist? - 12/28/2011 7:46:09 PM

Masterimpulse

Posts: 4
Joined: 12/27/2011
Status: offline

Hello ive recently gotten into the world of bdsm but ive been learning about it for two years and i have a slave that is a masochist, now when she disobeys i very well cant spank her or anything so may i get some advice on some creative ways to punish her?
Also any other advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks.

Post #: 1

RE: Punishing a masochist? - 12/28/2011 7:53:38 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

Extra chores. Scrubbing the bathroom and kitchen floors, Cinderella style.

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RE: Punishing a masochist? - 12/28/2011 7:57:51 PM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
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Become a man she wishes to obey. Not very creative, but it has been known to work.

< Message edited by poise -- 12/28/2011 7:58:25 PM >

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RE: Punishing a masochist? - 12/28/2011 8:05:29 PM

Miserlou

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Joined: 12/20/2011
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it depends on what sort of disobeying it is. if its something small, then the cinderella chores are a good idea but if you reaklly want her to remember the punishment then get creative.

tie her down and tickle her for an hour or two.

make her write a formal poetry appreciation of the lyrics of jethro tull's thick as a brick.

give her a german-english dictionary and make her translate the libretto to wagner's ring cycle without using google.

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RE: Punishing a masochist? - 12/28/2011 8:11:53 PM

Masterimpulse

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Joined: 12/27/2011
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These are great, thanks guys i think writing down what the slave did wrong a cretan amount of times will work like cinderella chores with a light punishment too.

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RE: Punishing a masochist? - 12/28/2011 8:12:58 PM

Masterimpulse

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Joined: 12/27/2011
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These are great, thanks guys i think writing down what the slave did wrong a cretan amount of times will work like cinderella chores with a light punishment too.

(in reply to Miserlou)

Post #: 6

RE: Punishing a masochist? - 12/28/2011 8:16:30 PM

Masterimpulse

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Joined: 12/27/2011
Status: offline

These are great, thanks guys i think writing down what the slave did wrong a cretan amount of times will work like cinderella chores with a light punishment too.

(in reply to Miserlou)

Post #: 7

RE: Punishing a masochist? - 12/28/2011 8:17:34 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
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Now that's really not so, depending on how masochistic, you can spank for punishment, but you'd have to spank harder than they liked or with an implement they don't like and it'd be more work for the pay off than other punishments, work smarter, not harder and all that jazz, and it could turn spanking from something they enjoyed, to something that's not enjoyed so much. And that wouldn't be a nice or fun thing to do, for both ya'll.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Masterimpulse

Hello ive recently gotten into the world of bdsm but ive been learning about it for two years and i have a slave that is a masochist, now when she disobeys i very well cant spank her or anything so may i get some advice on some creative ways to punish her?
Also any other advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks.

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Post #: 8

RE: Punishing a masochist? - 12/28/2011 8:47:43 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

tell her no when she wants pain.

Tell her how disappointed you are in her. Works every single time for me, then again I'm not a masochist and punishment is not fun to me.

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RE: Punishing a masochist? - 12/28/2011 9:40:37 PM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
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I live in terror of the disappointed look. That's pretty much as far as it ever needs to go. I think true punishment as opposed to funishment is a crock mostly. It's not a viable relationship tool in my eyes, not that I expect my opinion to matter all that much to anyone else.

It seems to me that weak or new Doms use punishment instead of developing skills in leadership. I'ts like they think that being a Dom means you put on the hardass facade and throw about threats in order to produce caring behavior and follow through on requests/commands. Fear is never as good a motivator as trust and respect. Any good parent knows this...

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 10

RE: Punishing a masochist? - 12/29/2011 1:55:05 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
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From: The cold bit of the UK
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I'm a masochist, and for major infringements I get physical punishments.

Trust me, there are ways to make the pain unpleasant.

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RE: Punishing a masochist? - 12/29/2011 5:58:48 AM

LillyBoPeep

Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
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Is she disobeying because she's a SAM (smart assed masochist) or a brat?
Some people act out on purpose to be punished. In those situations it is probably best to avoid pain or punishments involving toys because that's usually what they're after.

Assigned nonkinky punishments, like chores or taking a privilege away, those things can work.

I consider myself to be a masochist and pain can be a punishment, but honestly what matters most is, like poise said, you being a man she wants to obey. If she doesn't care whether she's obedient to you or not, then you're probably not going to get very far, either way. I haven't had a ton of experience with punishments, the disappointed look or a few words could do it for me. And the few times I was punished, it was a differennt headspace altogether - there was no way to confuse it with fun.

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RE: Punishing a masochist? - 12/29/2011 6:23:57 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Masterimpulse

These are great, thanks guys i think writing down what the slave did wrong a cretan amount of times will work like cinderella chores with a light punishment too.

letsee that's a tuffie you could... naaa that wont work.....then again you might try....nevermind... Oh yea I got it ...well that is all the ideas I have.

BadOne

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RE: Punishing a masochist? - 12/29/2011 6:56:49 AM

Fetters4U

Posts: 393
Joined: 5/25/2011
Status: offline

I believe that BDSM activity is play and a reward for GOOD behavior. I NEVER use it for punishment; to do so invites bratty behavior and topping from the bottom. I handle bad behavior like I would for a recalcitrant employee at work. I state my disappointment; that should be enough. If necessary, I withhold rewards and revoke privileges. If the behavior still continues, I show her to the door. Without obedience there is no respect, and without respect there is no relationship.

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A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up. -- Mae West
I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far. -- Mae West

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Post #: 14

RE: Punishing a masochist? - 12/29/2011 7:24:31 AM

OsideGirl

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Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Tell her how disappointed you are in her. Works every single time for me, then again I'm not a masochist and punishment is not fun to me.

This is exactly how it works for us.

I always find it disappointing that so many people always focus on "how should I punish my slave" rather than "why is my slave disobeying".

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Post #: 15

RE: Punishing a masochist? - 12/29/2011 8:49:20 AM

Fetters4U

Posts: 393
Joined: 5/25/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
I always find it disappointing that so many people always focus on "how should I punish my slave" rather than "why is my slave disobeying".

_____________________________

Male-Dom-Straight

A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up. -- Mae West
I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far. -- Mae West

To err is human; to edit, divine...

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 16

RE: Punishing a masochist? - 12/29/2011 9:09:40 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

I live in terror of the disappointed look. That's pretty much as far as it ever needs to go.

I think true punishment as opposed to funishment is a crock mostly. It's not a viable relationship tool in my eyes, not that I expect my opinion to matter all that much to anyone else.

It seems to me that weak or new Doms use punishment instead of developing skills in leadership.

It's like they think that being a Dom means you put on the hardass facade and throw about threats in order to produce caring behavior and follow through on requests/commands.

Fear is never as good a motivator as trust and respect.

Any good parent knows this...

All of this ^^^

(in reply to lizi)

Post #: 17

RE: Punishing a masochist? - 12/29/2011 10:30:58 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Or inspire her to obey as well as fulfilling her needs and wants sufficiently that this isn't the only way she can find to get those pain needs met.

In other words, if you give a maintenance spanking every evening, she won't have to disobey in order to get the spanking she craves.

Beyond that, are your orders worth obeying? Because some of us feel contempt for stupidity and make work. Do you think out the consequences of what you want and are these orders doable inside the constraints of real life? Smart dominants don't demand things a sub will have to refuse to do.

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Post #: 18

RE: Punishing a masochist? - 12/29/2011 11:06:46 AM

MikeSojourner

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Joined: 11/8/2011
Status: offline

First, try to focus on correction rather punishment - if something was done wrong, why was it done wrong, and should an action be taken to reinforce the right way to do it.

Second, just because she's a masochist doesn't mean that a physical punishment wouldn't work -- A lot of time there is a huge difference just because of the intent. Spanking for play may be received completely different than spanking because she has disappointed you.

And, if you do feel you need to punish / take corrective measures -- you may want to make the punishment fit the "crime". If she was use "Sir" when answering a direct question from you, but forgot, have her use Sir after every sentence for a period of time.

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Post #: 19

RE: Punishing a masochist? - 12/29/2011 11:10:07 AM

Lucylastic

Posts: 40310
Status: offline

a day of no pain/play works for mine everytime. depends on the infraction of course.
I can still get my "needs" met without pain. maso, not so much

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