Dom and Master Exhaustation

Dom and Master Exhaustation (Full Version)

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pinkee -> Dom and Master Exhaustation (5/30/2006 10:35:16 AM)
In the past week i have droppped two Men i met in real life, and i don't know how many i know from IM or phone. Some leave like gentlemen. Some want to argue, which i refuse tolerate. i feel exhausted by this. i cannot tell whether i'm meeting posers or real Doms but W/we just do not click. One Man sent such mixed messages i could scarcely understand Him. i archive my IM's and tried re-reading O/ours, but no enlightment came. So here's my question: apart from withdrawing from the field of play (which i may do for awhile) what, if anything, can be done about this? i suppose it would be easier to answer this if i gave particulars, but i fear causing Anyone embarrassment. Just assume it's the usual laundry list of reasons why submissives reject Doms and Masters. pinkee

TolerableCruelty -> RE: Dom and Master Exhaustation (5/30/2006 10:51:05 AM)
there is nothing you can do about it... some Men take rejection like a Man... and even go so far as to wish to remain friends... others take it like a child and cry about it and try to browbeat you into "liking" them... all you can do is keep beating the bushes until you find someone you click with. T.R.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Dom and Master Exhaustation (5/30/2006 10:58:51 AM)
You've been making posts like this for the past two years you've been here. Either somethings wrong with your method and/or somethings wrong with your judgement sensors that should be allowing you to weed out at least 80% of the dorks at this point. Until you start changing what you are doing, you can't expect the results to change.

pinkee -> RE: Dom and Master Exhaustation (5/30/2006 12:50:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross You've been making posts like this for the past two years you've been here. Either somethings wrong with your method and/or somethings wrong with your judgement sensors that should be allowing you to weed out at least 80% of the dorks at this point. Until you start changing what you are doing, you can't expect the results to change. You announced in a recent thread You were done with me, to which i replied, "Yippie!". Wtf bug You have up Your a** about me is causing You to be annoying. pinkee

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Dom and Master Exhaustation (5/30/2006 1:01:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pinkee You announced in a recent thread You were done with me, to which i replied, "Yippie!". Wtf bug You have up Your a** about me is causing You to be annoying. pinkee I was done with you on that thread. This is a new thread. You really don't have much to talk about considering how many times you've felt the need to publicly state you are blocking me and then unblock me. I answered your question- and I think it's the right answer. Not my problem you don't like the source.

Mercnbeth -> RE: Dom and Master Exhaustation (5/30/2006 1:12:14 PM)
quote: apart from withdrawing from the field of play (which i may do for awhile) what, if anything, can be done about this? When you are fishing and only catching small ones not worth keeping, if you pull your line out of the water do your chances of catching the "big one" go up or down? Who knows if anyone within touching distance meets your standards and expectations. Your requirements are yours arrived at by your logic and should not be argued for their merit or lack of merit. People may have opinions about "reasonable expectations" but the BL for you and everyone should be not to compromise just to not be alone or to feel "successful" by being in a relationship. The resulting relationship becomes a compromise, and you'll need bifocals to see what you have at arms length while you wonder if your "big one" is still out there in the distance. As always - Good Luck!

samvega -> RE: Dom and Master Exhaustation (5/30/2006 1:27:20 PM)
You just have to keep looking. If you need to take a break its always a good idea. Falling into your next relationship exhausted and resentful will not do him or you any favours. p.s. i don't think exhaustation is a word

BitaTruble -> RE: Dom and Master Exhaustation (5/30/2006 1:43:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pinkee In the past week i have droppped two Men i met in real life, and i don't know how many i know from IM or phone. Some leave like gentlemen. Some want to argue, which i refuse tolerate. i feel exhausted by this. i cannot tell whether i'm meeting posers or real Doms but W/we just do not click. One Man sent such mixed messages i could scarcely understand Him. i archive my IM's and tried re-reading O/ours, but no enlightment came. So here's my question: apart from withdrawing from the field of play (which i may do for awhile) what, if anything, can be done about this? i suppose it would be easier to answer this if i gave particulars, but i fear causing Anyone embarrassment. Just assume it's the usual laundry list of reasons why submissives reject Doms and Masters. pinkee You have a very narrow criteria as well as some pretty definite expectations and end goals for a relationship. A broader parameter would yeild broader results but you probably wouldn't be happy with the choices you have. Make sure your profile is fairly well spelled out on what you seek. Hit up your local groups/clubs/orgs and don't let life pass you by while you're waiting. Have some fun, meet a wide variety of people with diverse interests.. network, network just like you would if you were looking for a job.. and keep the faith. I wouldn't give up.. but I wouldn't stop living waiting for my life to start either. Celeste

PlayfulOne -> RE: Dom and Master Exhaustation (5/30/2006 2:09:59 PM)
I am sorry but I have to agree with LA. This has been an ongoing topic with you for sometime. You need to take a long hard look at who you are talking with and why. As Celeste pointed out you have a very narrow criteria, which is not a bad thing. Now you state you've dropped 2 you've met and you don't know how many from im or phone. It would seem with a criteria as narrow as yours how can you be talking with so many people that you don't remember. Do you not think you are interacting with people you never should have been engaged with if you applied your stated criteria to them from the start? Yoiu need to take a long look at who you are talking with and why. Just my opinion but I think your just not being selective enough in who you are getting so deeply involved in conversation with. K

pinkee -> RE: Dom and Master Exhaustation (5/30/2006 2:26:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth quote: apart from withdrawing from the field of play (which i may do for awhile) what, if anything, can be done about this? When you are fishing and only catching small ones not worth keeping, if you pull your line out of the water do your chances of catching the "big one" go up or down? Who knows if anyone within touching distance meets your standards and expectations. Your requirements are yours arrived at by your logic and should not be argued for their merit or lack of merit. People may have opinions about "reasonable expectations" but the BL for you and everyone should be not to compromise just to not be alone or to feel "successful" by being in a relationship. The resulting relationship becomes a compromise, and you'll need bifocals to see what you have at arms length while you wonder if your "big one" is still out there in the distance. As always - Good Luck! Thank You Mnb. This situation is, of course, aggravated by insomnia brought on by the stress of the ever-revolving door. But i do realise E/everyone who searches or who has searched has felt discouraged from time to time. What coping mechanisms worked best for Y/you, whilst Y/you were still searching? Sincerely. pinkee

pinkee -> RE: Dom and Master Exhaustation (5/30/2006 2:29:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: samvega You just have to keep looking. If you need to take a break its always a good idea. Falling into your next relationship exhausted and resentful will not do him or you any favours. p.s. i don't think exhaustation is a word You're quite right; the proper spelling is "exhaustion". pinkee

pinkee -> RE: Dom and Master Exhaustation (5/30/2006 2:31:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble quote: ORIGINAL: pinkee In the past week i have droppped two Men i met in real life, and i don't know how many i know from IM or phone. Some leave like gentlemen. Some want to argue, which i refuse tolerate. i feel exhausted by this. i cannot tell whether i'm meeting posers or real Doms but W/we just do not click. One Man sent such mixed messages i could scarcely understand Him. i archive my IM's and tried re-reading O/ours, but no enlightment came. So here's my question: apart from withdrawing from the field of play (which i may do for awhile) what, if anything, can be done about this? i suppose it would be easier to answer this if i gave particulars, but i fear causing Anyone embarrassment. Just assume it's the usual laundry list of reasons why submissives reject Doms and Masters. pinkee You have a very narrow criteria as well as some pretty definite expectations and end goals for a relationship. A broader parameter would yeild broader results but you probably wouldn't be happy with the choices you have. Make sure your profile is fairly well spelled out on what you seek. Hit up your local groups/clubs/orgs and don't let life pass you by while you're waiting. Have some fun, meet a wide variety of people with diverse interests.. network, network just like you would if you were looking for a job.. and keep the faith. I wouldn't give up.. but I wouldn't stop living waiting for my life to start either. Celeste i feel lucky. i have a good life now. If He never appears, i'll still have a good life. TY Celeste. pinkee

pinkee -> RE: Dom and Master Exhaustation (5/30/2006 2:33:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PlayfulOne I am sorry but I have to agree with LA. This has been an ongoing topic with you for sometime. You need to take a long hard look at who you are talking with and why. As Celeste pointed out you have a very narrow criteria, which is not a bad thing. Now you state you've dropped 2 you've met and you don't know how many from im or phone. It would seem with a criteria as narrow as yours how can you be talking with so many people that you don't remember. Do you not think you are interacting with people you never should have been engaged with if you applied your stated criteria to them from the start? Yoiu need to take a long look at who you are talking with and why. Just my opinion but I think your just not being selective enough in who you are getting so deeply involved in conversation with. K Would help quite a bit if these Men quit lying. pinkee

LadyHugs -> RE: Dom and Master Exhaustation (5/30/2006 2:43:49 PM)
Dear pinkee, Ladies and Gentlemen; I am curious, if you are just more focused on the 'chase' and or be 'chased' and then once there is no longer the pursuit, the relationship needs to close. It is ok to reflect on why you don't keep people you seem to have flock to you. However, I like the law's way of thinking at times-- When you have a modus operandi, Latin for a 'method of operation,' and or a pattern of behavior, then it might not be others that is the problem but, the internal messages you send to yourself, looking at any possible chance of happiness as a threat and or, feel unworthy to achieve or to feel. Anybody can make up excuses as to send dominant and or submissives packing, when they seem to be worthwhile to work with. Sometimes, you're (in a general term) just not sure what you want. Perhaps still wanting to trust but--afraid to trust, as if being burnt badly for some reason. Perhaps, the satisfaction is the "dumping" of dominants, to which might be a control and manipulation technique and you don't realize that you're doing it. To be able to be 'anti-power/authority,' to which such behavior is tolerated in the BDSM, D/s, M/s and or S&M circles but, not in the civilian world. There are many things to consider however, if you're in an entrenched pattern of behavior, it might not be that the dominant is the problem but, how your perception of things effect the mental and or emotional dialog within you. If the pattern doesn't change, you will soon have taught the whole community how to treat you, to which will cause individuals to react and avoid. Nobody likes to be sent off in an unkind manner. Nobody likes to be 'played.' Respectfully submitted for consideration, Lady Hugs

pinkee -> RE: Dom and Master Exhaustation (5/30/2006 3:03:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHugs Dear pinkee, Ladies and Gentlemen; I am curious, if you are just more focused on the 'chase' and or be 'chased' and then once there is no longer the pursuit, the relationship needs to close. It is ok to reflect on why you don't keep people you seem to have flock to you. However, I like the law's way of thinking at times-- When you have a modus operandi, Latin for a 'method of operation,' and or a pattern of behavior, then it might not be others that is the problem but, the internal messages you send to yourself, looking at any possible chance of happiness as a threat and or, feel unworthy to achieve or to feel. Anybody can make up excuses as to send dominant and or submissives packing, when they seem to be worthwhile to work with. Sometimes, you're (in a general term) just not sure what you want. Perhaps still wanting to trust but--afraid to trust, as if being burnt badly for some reason. Perhaps, the satisfaction is the "dumping" of dominants, to which might be a control and manipulation technique and you don't realize that you're doing it. To be able to be 'anti-power/authority,' to which such behavior is tolerated in the BDSM, D/s, M/s and or S&M circles but, not in the civilian world. There are many things to consider however, if you're in an entrenched pattern of behavior, it might not be that the dominant is the problem but, how your perception of things effect the mental and or emotional dialog within you. If the pattern doesn't change, you will soon have taught the whole community how to treat you, to which will cause individuals to react and avoid. Nobody likes to be sent off in an unkind manner. Nobody likes to be 'played.' Respectfully submitted for consideration, Lady Hugs Of the two Men i dumped this week; one lied -- about quite abit. (This phenom baffles me; You're bound to be found out when Y/you meet in real life, so what's up with that?) The other wanted to commence "training" immediately, after one meeting, while He made up His mind as to whether i was good enough for Him. This naturally included getting a webcam. i imagine You get the picture. The seemed so "right" on IM and phone. However, i learnt the hard way to reserve my emotions for when a real life meeting occurs. uch neetings allow me to observe His conduct. Is He a gentlemen? Is His conduct consistent with His speech? Etc. O well; still waiting for suggestions as to how to handle the feeling of being worn out from the search. pinkee

Mercnbeth -> RE: Dom and Master Exhaustation (5/30/2006 3:05:47 PM)
quote: What coping mechanisms worked best for Y/you, whilst Y/you were still searching? pink, Three things: 1) I was happy with myself and my life independent of finding any "one" who could meet my expectations who I would live "happily ever after". 2) I accepted and welcomed relationship "failure" as a learning experience and didn't take any failure personal or as a reason to compromise my goal. 3) I had FUN! It was the only expectation and demand I had for anyone I met. If they didn't show up, or lied about their weight, age, even gender; it wasn't going to destroy my attitude, or make me consider giving up. When I first went to meet beth, a 3 1/2 hour drive, my contingency plan was to spend the day in Solvang exploring the wineries. This was a couple of years before 'Sideways' made the area famous. 3b) I NEVER engaged in any cyber sexual experience. If it was a requirement made of me to "prove" my dominant ability I excluded the person from any further consideration. If I wanted to masturbate, my mind didn't need any help from someone to come up with an erotic scenario. Besides, when we met I wanted a buildup and level of intensity not foreshadowed by any exchange shared by the glow of a cold computer screen. I 'searched' for over 20 years, had a lot of fun and learned a lot along the way. If you want a quick turn around perspective you'll have to wait for an answer from beth. she began her 'search' in January 2002 and we met March 1, 2002. And what an exhausting seven weeks it was! But from her perspective the long search was more a search of self versus a search for a particular person. That she says took her the same 20 + years. The search for 'self' is no less daunting and no less painful. In some respects it's more difficult and painful because you must supply your own answers. It is a process that is required, and helps you to focus. It generates goals that are YOURS and not someone else's image of what you can or should be. From those 'answers' comes the confidence to achieve your goals.

LadyHugs -> RE: Dom and Master Exhaustation (5/30/2006 3:32:44 PM)
Dear pinkee, Ladies and Gentlemen; Well, it happens to dominants also; the lies and run the hampster wheel to show that I am qualified and such. So, I do understand everybody's general frustration of weeding. How I cope, is that I just enjoy the moment and don't invest any feelings of bonding until they're around longer than a loaf of bread. Each person gives lessons in interactions with another. I look at the good and bad, see which behaviors would be nice to find in the next chap. And, I don't keep count. That would make anybody depressed. When I feel frustrated, I write. What ever I do, I get rid of the anger, negativities and get on a positive note as soon as possible. Sometimes I rode horses and or drove horses, to which left me in better shape emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Walk in the woods, nature chatters are peaceful. Walk the Mall and window shop. Volunteer at an animal shelter, giving love to those creatures who really are unwanted and know it to. Sometimes, I treat myself to dinner and enjoy the arts. I wish you much luck. Just remember, you can drop the scene a while and it will still be there when you come back. Respectfully submitted for consideration, Lady Hugs

KnightofMists -> RE: Dom and Master Exhaustation (5/30/2006 4:04:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Until you start changing what you are doing, you can't expect the results to change. she is making changes.... a new nic and a new nic and a new nic...! A new coat of paint you might say... aaaaww but maybe the change is not the right changes

Sensualips -> RE: Dom and Master Exhaustation (5/30/2006 5:00:57 PM)
Whew, I am exhausted too.

SilverWulf -> RE: Dom and Master Exhaustation (5/30/2006 9:01:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pinkee apart from withdrawing from the field of play (which i may do for awhile) what, if anything, can be done about this? I searched for many years before finding My girl. The thing is, I had taken a break from actively searching when she fell into My lap. Perhaps think about not trying so hard. Let what will be, be.

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