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RE: The Dom I have been talking to is ignoring me - 1/1/2012 11:42:45 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Bingo!

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(in reply to Casteele)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: The Dom I have been talking to is ignoring me - 1/1/2012 11:43:57 PM   
stellauk


Posts: 1360
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Its another matter if they have been together for a long while or have commitments... but she isn't talking. So coming down on the guy at this point, just seems a bit unfair.



Point taken.




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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: The Dom I have been talking to is ignoring me - 1/1/2012 11:45:55 PM   
tj444


Posts: 7574
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Casteele

Uhmm.. Just read the OP's profile, and my spidey sense is tingling..

well,.. she might have an original profile on here and just set this one up to discuss this issue on the forums.

She could have met him on some other site and just started a new profile here a few days ago, she may be asking for feedback on other sites also..

I personally dont like to jump to conclusions about anyone.. especially online... my spidey sense tingles whenever a guy emails me!!!

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(in reply to Casteele)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: The Dom I have been talking to is ignoring me - 1/1/2012 11:48:13 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		You know I love ya Stella! I just wasn't sure you saw all there was to see.. like the profile and all she has said or was asked. I agree with most everything you say on most everything you say something on. This one... something isn't adding up.

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(in reply to stellauk)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: The Dom I have been talking to is ignoring me - 1/1/2012 11:50:57 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Typically when someone starts a profile to discuss an issue, they rarely have friends on their profile and go into much detail about what they are seeking. I mean if you want to hide a bit and not tell who you are or who you might be involved with, you don't lead people to whomever you may be discussing or to think you might be discussing someone on your profile.

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: The Dom I have been talking to is ignoring me - 1/1/2012 11:54:55 PM   
Casteele


Posts: 655
Joined: 12/10/2011
From: Near Sacramento, California, USA
Status: offline 		Sorry, stella, but I cannot agree with you here. Not with your logic, which is sound and I agree with, but with the assumptions being made as the basis for it. Have you never lost your temper with someone? Was it spontaneous? Or did they push you too far at some point? I'm a very patient person, and often get compliments on how patient I am dealing with people. But it is not infinite; Push me too far and I'll react. I'm only human, not a bloody perfect saint.

So, yes, if it was completely unwarranted and out of nowhere, then yes, I'd tell him to take a hike if he just blew up without significant reason. But I'd also take a moment to consider if maybe he did have reason, be it that I pushed him too far, or something really difficult was going on at the time.. (okay, the "I" there is a generic one, since I'm not a girl seeing a guy :-P) For example, if I (back to "I" meaning me, a male dom) were in the middle of trying to rush my mother or father to the hospital, and my girl were to call at that time and demand I sit down and talk, explain myself, you can imagine I'm not going to sit down and explain it until she understands. I'll try to tell her "Not now, got an emergency!" but if she keeps pushing it, I'll tell her to screw herself. And if the girl were the type to keep pushing it like that, I honestly would not be surprised if she were also to come on here and be all dramatic with telling everyone how I am ignoring her and just blew up at her without cause. Drama mamas are not exactly well-known for keeping facts straight.


(in reply to stellauk)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: The Dom I have been talking to is ignoring me - 1/2/2012 12:05:31 AM   
Casteele


Posts: 655
Joined: 12/10/2011
From: Near Sacramento, California, USA
Status: offline 		Normally I'd agree with you, tj. I don't like when others jump to conclusions (or myself, I do it too :-/). But I don't think I am here, because I'm not saying it is this or that, I'm only saying that things are not adding up which is making me question it.. And I detailed a couple of the many possible points of confusion and why they don't add up.

Regarding meeting him elsewhere, I did address that.. Why then, does her profile scream out "Looking for a dom/master?" Most people that are currently involved with someone, be it still getting to know them or something more developed and deeper, don't create profiles which are clearly still looking, unless they're still looking to have many options..aka, a collector. If that's the case, then this "ignoring" episode doesn't make sense unless she's being overly clingy and dramatic, which could be the very reason this dom is "ignoring" her.

Point is, there are no conclusions here, just multiple pathways which all lead to questions that suspect the OP is not being on the level.

Only the OP can clear things up, and she seems to be offline ATM.

(in reply to tj444)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: The Dom I have been talking to is ignoring me - 1/2/2012 12:35:46 AM   
tj444


Posts: 7574
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline 		well, its hard to tell with the limited info available..

but if this relationship has just been online and they have not met in person yet.. then the OP doesnt know if its real or serious or whatever.. so why wouldnt she still say she is looking? Keep in mind that a lot of guys try to get women to be subs online, call them Sir or Master right from the get go.. if the sub questions them the guys have a hissy fit cuz she isnt being submissive,.. blah blah blah.. There are a lot of games guys play online and some women want a relationship and so fall for it.. That is why i said i dont get too serious about anyone online.. too many lies and games..

Also,.. she already said she suspects he has a wife or girlfriend and yet she wants to believe him.. so since she isnt sure he is even single.. then why change your profile to say you arent looking? I think she has some things to work thru, I think she does know the answer already, she just has to accept it and find someone real and serious about her..

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: The Dom I have been talking to is ignoring me - 1/2/2012 1:50:25 AM   
stellauk


Posts: 1360
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Casteele

Sorry, stella, but I cannot agree with you here. Not with your logic, which is sound and I agree with, but with the assumptions being made as the basis for it. Have you never lost your temper with someone? Was it spontaneous? Or did they push you too far at some point? I'm a very patient person, and often get compliments on how patient I am dealing with people. But it is not infinite; Push me too far and I'll react. I'm only human, not a bloody perfect saint.



Okay, but what else can I do here but make the assumptions. I admit that I picked one possible scenario and went with that. I'm assuming that this was clear from the context of what I wrote.

Also it cuts both ways, the anger itself is a negative emotion and feeling and is also valid.

You see we don't know here if all this was speculation or whether it was the start of something. If we were to take it as speculation, which I didn't (I went with one scenario basically to differ from other responses) then my opinion would be much different and I would see her as the one with the problem of getting attached too quickly. This with hindsight is also possible.

Generally when I post I post 'what is going through my mind or my feelings' at that given moment in time, off the top of my head. Usually I try and make some relevant contribution to the thread but it's also the case that sometimes I'm more wide of the mark and screw up.

Just for clarification.

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: The Dom I have been talking to is ignoring me - 1/2/2012 3:26:59 AM   
fragilepieces


Posts: 416
Joined: 7/6/2008
Status: offline 		My partner had relatives in for the holidays---since before Christmas actually and we still talk daily(and yep I have a house and a cell number)---and he did call five minutes before midnight on New Years Eve so we could bring in the New Year together....we've been together a while though and do spend time in the flesh---but I am just saying having family in should not hamper contact however, if it were some one I just started speaking to---yeah I'd probably spend the majority of my time entertaining family and not really be all that concerned about someone I just met on the net.

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(in reply to OuchIsntASafewrd)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: The Dom I have been talking to is ignoring me - 1/2/2012 4:00:57 AM   
fragilepieces


Posts: 416
Joined: 7/6/2008
Status: offline
quote:

why then, does her profile scream out "Looking for a dom/master?" Most people that are currently involved with someone, be it still getting to know them or something more developed and deeper, don't create profiles which are clearly still looking
She said she was talking to him not involved with him---jeepers (when I was seeking) if I changed my freaking profile every time some guy messaged me and we spoke for several days---I would have been changing it constantly. I never changed my profile until AFTER we met real time---and I have not really changed it since---I have not wrote collared and owned or property of or go through him to get permission to speak to Miss Royal Collared Submissive.....and umm yeah if I was just beginning to speak to someone here and they suggested an alternate site YES I would fill it out as still seeking


< Message edited by fragilepieces -- 1/2/2012 4:03:28 AM >

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(in reply to Casteele)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: The Dom I have been talking to is ignoring me - 1/2/2012 7:23:11 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OuchIsntASafewrd

He says it is because of his family visiting for the holidays, but I am getting weird vibes that it is more than that. Not sure how to handle it, I am feeling ignored, hurt and frustrated. I told him so and he got angry and told me to relax, and that I was being overly selfish. Advice please?


Your gut might be right... or you might have personal insecurities that are signaling something is wrong.


As for this:

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Yep, if he was that into you (and available) you would have been invited over for the holidays to spend at least a few hours or so with his family. I expect you'll find his aunt is his wife, and his family are his kids. There are SO MANY available men here, I'd blow him off right quick like.


I disagree.
They are talking with one another.
Meeting the family is something that happens after people are in a well established relationship, in my opinion.

His family could be his kids (has he said he doesn't have any?) or they could be his mother and sisters.




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(in reply to OuchIsntASafewrd)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: The Dom I have been talking to is ignoring me - 1/2/2012 7:24:52 AM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OuchIsntASafewrd

He says it is because of his family visiting for the holidays, but I am getting weird vibes that it is more than that. Not sure how to handle it, I am feeling ignored, hurt and frustrated. I told him so and he got angry and told me to relax, and that I was being overly selfish. Advice please?
Listen to the voices in your head.


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yep

(in reply to OuchIsntASafewrd)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: The Dom I have been talking to is ignoring me - 1/2/2012 7:49:04 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

He says it is because of his family visiting for the holidays, but I am getting weird vibes that it is more than that.

Trust your gut.

quote:

Not sure how to handle it, I am feeling ignored, hurt and frustrated. I told him so and he got angry and told me to relax, and that I was being overly selfish.

At this point, I would have decided we were incompatible and moved on. See Stella's post #18.

quote:

Advice please?

Trust your gut and move on.


(in reply to OuchIsntASafewrd)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: The Dom I have been talking to is ignoring me - 1/2/2012 4:37:02 PM   
climax2


Posts: 10
Joined: 8/5/2011
Status: offline 		From experience, if it feels like something is going on, it probably is.  Trust your instinct.  Get on with your life, keep busy.  Chances are in a few weeks, he will come around.  If not, no loss.

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: The Dom I have been talking to is ignoring me - 1/3/2012 7:41:30 AM   
mysouldesire


Posts: 85
Joined: 11/28/2010
Status: offline 		maybe the "dom" is back thus the OP is no longer posting

(in reply to climax2)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: The Dom I have been talking to is ignoring me - 1/3/2012 8:11:18 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Yep, if he was that into you (and available) you would have been invited over for the holidays to spend at least a few hours or so with his family.
Why would he invite someone he doesn't know to holidays with his family?



quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit


This doesn't sound like a relationship. It sounds like they have been talking and don't know much about one another <snip>



Its another matter if they have been together for a long while or have commitments... but she isn't talking. So coming down on the guy at this point, just seems a bit unfair.



I'm totally with this.

It's the holidays. It's perfectly normal to be tied up with family and friends. You haven't even met yet, it's just some guy you're talking to. And the OPs response is to accuse him of being married and behave like some overly clingly, insecure psycho Betty.


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(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: The Dom I have been talking to is ignoring me - 1/4/2012 9:31:36 PM   
Zechriel


Posts: 308
Joined: 11/19/2007
Status: offline 		Good evening!

Sounds like there is more going on than you think...your gut may be right. Especailly if he is married and not honest about it. Wait it out, talk about it when he gets back and if you still want to stay in it, take it real slow...if he'll let you. Take care.
Love,
Zechriel

(in reply to Casteele)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: The Dom I have been talking to is ignoring me - 1/9/2012 11:38:28 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

He says it is because of his family visiting for the holidays, but I am getting weird vibes that it is more than that. Not sure how to handle it, I am feeling ignored, hurt and frustrated. I told him so and he got angry and told me to relax, and that I was being overly selfish. Advice please?


ouch, It appears that those a Dom moving on.

CP

(in reply to OuchIsntASafewrd)
Profile   Post #: 39
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