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RE: What got you into the lifestyle? - 1/6/2012 11:18:01 AM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
Go mail them some money and an apology. Libraries are always underfunded.

Donated about 10,000 books when I moved to The Big Sleazy.
I think that makes us even :-)

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 21

RE: What got you into the lifestyle? - 1/6/2012 11:27:32 AM

Delilya

Posts: 4108
Joined: 2/2/2011
Status: offline

When I was 29 my boyfriend asked me to tie him up and spank him. The rest is history.

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“Love me without fear, trust me without questioning, need me without demanding, want me without restrictions, accept me without changes, desire me without inhibitions"-Dick Sutphen

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Post #: 22

RE: What got you into the lifestyle? - 1/6/2012 11:40:42 AM

seekerofslut

Posts: 215
Joined: 9/7/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Ninebelowzero

Yup it's funny how often that's the case LT.

What he said. ^--^

I was first used as a sub. It was fun, exciting, and totally sexual. But I find I'm really quite dominant. Not enough switch to be really switch but perhaps enough so to have some fun, here and there.

< Message edited by seekerofslut -- 1/6/2012 11:52:22 AM >

(in reply to Ninebelowzero)

Post #: 23

RE: What got you into the lifestyle? - 1/6/2012 12:22:27 PM

Ninebelowzero

Posts: 3134
Joined: 8/5/2011
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My first time was when I was 23, a Goth lady from Manchester & I hit it off, & danced the ugly & she wanted me to bite her as hard as I could, & then harder & harder. I bailed out & legged it. Talk about freaked out! So a month or so later we ran into each other & chatted about why I left. We then ended up back at her place & she took her leather wrist band off & put it on my cock, tied me up & started to bite me. Now that I related to.

I didn't know what BDSM was or let alone what a switch was. I didn't twig there was a scene until I was in my 40's. I have had 3 long term relationships in my life & all 3 have been with tops/dominant women.

_____________________________

More come backs than Frank Sinatra

(in reply to seekerofslut)

Post #: 24

RE: What got you into the lifestyle? - 1/7/2012 7:46:10 PM

Casteele

Posts: 655
Joined: 12/10/2011
From: Near Sacramento, California, USA
Status: offline

In the early 90's, when I was still in my early 20's, I found it online on IRC. It was bound to happen, I guess, with the way my personality was developing and asserting itself. I was an IRC operator on an IRC network (think of an IRC Op being much like a moderator here), and would often go head-to-head with my fellow IRC Ops over issues I felt strongly about. Two of these were lifestyle subbies, and quite bratty. They felt I would make a great addition to collection of headstrong, self-assured, know-it-all young studs (some things never change, do they? :-P), so during one of our debates, I teasingly threatened to spank them in to submission, without really having a clue how they would view that threat.. and they took the opportunity to really "educate" me. I was collared, stuffed in a sack, and unceremoniously dumped amongst a group of freaks with all these really weird ideas of what was normal and what was kink. Just listening to some of their ideas of the things they could do with each other for mutual enjoyment and pleasure left me both weirded out and strangely aroused.

However, if that was all there was too it, I would have left without looking back--I've never felt the need/desire to pursue the kink in myself as an end to itself. What got to me and intrigued me most were the personalities and ideals this group of people had. It was the way they would not judge one for having some kind of thoughts that mainstream society would condemn as unwholesome and vile, or actually enjoying things that both sides found interesting and consensual. So I listened, watched, asked questions and learned.

After learning enough to have some idea, I decided I was going to be a submissive male. By nature, I am very nurturing and affirming, and have always felt I was "looking up" to those I loved and cared for most. I figured it was just natural for me to be a sub. It didn't take long before my natural personality and tendencies asserted themselves and I was switching back and forth between dom and sub. Eventually, I just stayed pretty much dom, and cannot see myself being submissive at all, or even switch.

But it still remains with me to this day, the actual acts are, to me, just not that significant. They are just symbols and manifestations of the underlying processes, dynamics, and needs. To this day, that is still what continues to draw me most, and why I prefer coming to the chat side of CM instead of going out and trying to find a playmate. (Of course, I won't say I don't enjoy the plain ol' perv side of me, either. It's just as much a part of me as all the other "sides".)

(in reply to Ninebelowzero)

Post #: 25

RE: What got you into the lifestyle? - 1/7/2012 7:57:49 PM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
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My first boyfriend *a preacher's son no less* and his handcuffs.... 1982.. ahhh... young lust.

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Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Casteele)

Post #: 26

RE: What got you into the lifestyle? - 1/10/2012 4:27:42 AM

DivineDemise

Posts: 95
Joined: 1/7/2012
From: West Memphis,Ark
Status: offline

Ive always found vanilla as bland. There was a part of me that was never satisfied & wanted more. I dated vanilla guys & when Id ask to be lightly spanked, slapped, choked etc… Id get the are you out of your mind look or question. I finally met a guy & without asking he took control. I was in awe finally what I wanted. We talked afterwards & he explained BDSM I was hooked. That spurred years of research & learning. Finding myself is stil a jourmey. Ive went back to vanilla a couple times its a epic fail. Its not who I am or want.

_____________________________

Behind every beautiful thing, there's some kind of pain.

(in reply to subpnw)

Post #: 27

RE: What got you into the lifestyle? - 1/10/2012 4:44:25 AM

DaddySatyr

Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline

I have talked about this, extensively ...

As I was moving away from rigid Catholicism and getting in touch with what I actually felt an believed, I ran into a number of people that espoused this lifestyle. The dominants, from what I could tell were all misogynists that really and truly seemed to treat their ladies awfully. The submissives, to me, seemed to be victims, complacently agreeing to be abused if not by overt deed or word then by silence and remaining in the relationships.

I didn't much care for these people and a couple of them said that I seemed to be dominant and I took that as offensive.

Then, a lady I was with called me "Daddy". That also freaked me out and we had quite a set-to but she sent me to a web site that had a composition, "About Daddy Doms" (It's still searchable) by a lady named Kendra.

For only the second time in my life, I realized that someone else knew me at least as well as I knew myself.

I was off, on a mission, from that point on.

Peace and comfort,

Michael

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to DivineDemise)

Post #: 28

RE: What got you into the lifestyle? - 1/10/2012 9:18:59 AM

ArmoredTeddyBear

Posts: 7
Joined: 10/15/2011
Status: offline

I've always known I was different. Surprisingly enough, although I have a very submissive nature now, my first memories were of tying up my dolls and stuffed animals and "punishing" them. A few years later though I loved being the one "tied up" when we played in school. We had a great big cargo net in the playground, and I was always one of the bad guys that would get "tied up" in it when I got caught.

That tendency towards being restrained followed me into my marriage, but my husband (now ex) was not into it at all. I would try to get him into wrestling matches as foreplay, hoping that he would pin me down and just have his way with me. He didn't like me resisting him though, so I gave up on that.

After the marriage fell apart, I had a couple of relationships, but neither one of them was dominant in any way shape or form. One of them had even been teasing me about tying me up in various ways when we first started dating, and I loved the idea. Once we got sexually active though it never happened. He turned out to be so boring it was pathetic. I was unhappy, restless, and knew I needed more.

I had a vague idea about BDSM, that it was actually a lifestyle, although for the life of me I don't know how I knew that. I got brave one day about 5 years ago, and went into the lifestyle category of one of the chat websites I was using. I was very lucky in that the first room I went to was very good about teaching newbies, actual accurate information without all the myths and misconceptions, and protecting them from the "dumbinants".

That's where I also found out about slaves. My first reaction was "oh hell no, that's DEFINATELY not for me". As I learned more from the slaves in that room though, I found myself being more and more fascinated and drawn towards the idea. After my first experience with a full TPE Master I was hooked. I knew from then on that I could never be happy with anything less than giving up absolutely everything to the one I belong to. Although I no longer really identify with the "slave" label, the relationship with my Daddy is still a TPE dynamic, and I am extremely happy.

Being a Daddy Dom, and polyamorous, my relationship with him is very different from what I'm used to, it was one of those things I had previously thought I couldn't do, but now I wouldn't have it any other way. He is absolutely awesome, and I am very glad that I made the decision to be more open to things that previously I had discarded as not being right for me. One of the most important things I've learned after I started exploring this lifestyle is that sometimes treasures can be found in the unlikeliest of places, and won't come in the package you expected.

_____________________________

One who gains strength by overcoming obstacles possesses the only strength which can overcome adversity

(in reply to DaddySatyr)

Post #: 29

RE: What got you into the lifestyle? - 1/10/2012 7:31:08 PM

graceadieu

Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sheisreeds

As a kid I was always fascinated by "the kidnapped princess".

Oh man, me too. Also, the knights that would kneel in front of the king and then go off on some dramatic ordeal to prove their loyalty (I was always kind of a tomboy, so I related to the knights too). That sort of stuff gave me a funny feeling that it took MANY years to understand!

(in reply to sheisreeds)

Post #: 30

RE: What got you into the lifestyle? - 1/10/2012 8:21:57 PM

ScatteredRose

Posts: 171
Joined: 3/9/2010
From: New Orleans
Status: offline

You're going to laugh at me. You all will.

Sailor Moon got me into BDSM. I was watching the 2nd season of Sailor Moon and it was the episode when she got kidnapped and the man who kidnapped her was in love with her...and made it so she couldn't move and tried to force a kiss on her.

Something about being forced...immediately entranced me. I love the idea of being forced to do things against my will.
I also continued to see stories about women getting kidnapped and tortured :P...And then I used to roleplay with friends who always came up with crazy stories...
Then Yahoo user groups had this chat room for Master/slave stuff, and I kind of went in there a lot. -cough- I was well. Under age. Probably one of the reasons they got shut down. Haha!

_____________________________

"Realizing I had a name-- Bec. It means "Little One". It's what Goll called me when he first found me. I was proud of the name. It was the only thing I owned, something nobody could ever take from me." The Demonata: vol 4 Bec.

(in reply to graceadieu)

Post #: 31

RE: What got you into the lifestyle? - 1/10/2012 9:44:18 PM

HisPet21

Posts: 395
Status: offline

quote:

We had a great big cargo net in the playground, and I was always one of the bad guys that would get "tied up" in it when I got caught.

Ditto on this. Not necessarily the cargo net, but the fear of capture during a game of tag was always more fun than it was probably supposed to be.

I don't really feel I had any "definitive moment" when the kinky submissive inside of me was born. She was always there. For some reason I could never put my finger on, I always loved books and movies that portrayed women getting chased down, tied up, and enslaved. When Dreamworks came out with "The Prince of Egypt," I became entranced by the scene in which the slave Zipporah is offered to Moses as concubine. In my early teens, I also got hold of a book called "Midnight Predator," by Amelia Atwater-Rhodes, about a former vampire slave gone vampire hunter, who returns to deal some serious whoop-ass on her former tormentor and a vampire sanctuary called "Midnight." She has a lot of flashbacks, throughout the book, of being whipped into submission and then cuddled like a "pet." I re-read those scenes over and over again, never sure why I enjoyed them so much.

The connection between these feelings and sex didn't surface in my mind until college, and the internet. Finally free of my paranoid parents, I began to explore all the pron the internet had to offer, had an "Oh!" moment, and the rest is history.

(in reply to ScatteredRose)

Post #: 32

RE: What got you into the lifestyle? - 1/11/2012 8:14:08 PM

Princ3ss

Posts: 3
Joined: 1/11/2012
Status: offline

Well, I don't know if I would consider myself completely in the lifestyle. I'm still a youngster, heh. But, a couple of years ago, one of my first real girlfriends asked me to slap her during sex and wham bam I had found my true calling. Since then, I've gotten more interested, and I am still learning new things every day.

(in reply to HisPet21)

Post #: 33

RE: What got you into the lifestyle? - 1/11/2012 10:35:28 PM

Hillwilliam

Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline

Reposting this from the other similar thread that died.

I never liked to follow, always wanted to be out front. In my teens, I was kind of a dichotomy. I didn't put up with bullying in my presence and it was accepted that you don't mess with a guy who qualified for nationals twice and benches 300. If he hates bullies, you just don't do it around him.

On the mat, it was a totally different story. I was called an "Animal" and a "Sadist".

Something clicked when my first GF in college (she was 6 years older and a bit kinky) looked up at me one day with sperm dripping off her chin and said "Thank you Sir". The rest is history.

_____________________________

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to Princ3ss)

Post #: 34

RE: What got you into the lifestyle? - 1/12/2012 10:40:45 AM

bestloverever

Posts: 3
Joined: 1/8/2012
Status: offline

Young. Younger than most. However, I've learned to embrace it. SInce I was first touched, it turned everything "on." I love that about myself.

Ana

(in reply to subpnw)

Post #: 35

RE: What got you into the lifestyle? - 1/12/2012 11:22:16 AM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

Here are the condensed answers as follows:
Pre teens it was, the philosophies of Marquee de Sade, my parents’ D/s reading materials and a girl named alice. In my teens, it was the leathermen, gay leather bars, dungeon parties, a kinky swinger named beth and her girlfriends, a girl with MPD and the bizarre S&M sex we had while she was under hypnosis. … The end.

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I give good thread.

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Post #: 36

RE: What got you into the lifestyle? - 1/12/2012 3:10:50 PM

jaslyn82

Posts: 19
Joined: 1/4/2012
Status: offline

As a kid, I can't remember what movies they were, but they were often set in conan-like times, and I often get excited about a woman getting tied up, and being potentially raped. I started having fantasies of myself in those situations.
I got molested by a 14 yr old boy, think I was 9 or 10, he came, and fingered my clit and laughed at me. He was a stranger and just did that to me, in public too. I felt humiliated, extremely ashamed, and excited and yet guilty and shameful about feeling excited. That boy taught me masturbation.
Throughout my life dating vanilla men, always attempted to get em to incorporate a lil rape play in our sex lives with bondage and mild spanking. Anyway..., that's how it all started. I've eventually read some gorean, watched bdsm videos, and felt excited with some of the scenes in it.
I hope some day I meet someone who totally gets me in bdsm and vanilla.

< Message edited by jaslyn82 -- 1/12/2012 3:12:04 PM >

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 37

RE: What got you into the lifestyle? - 1/12/2012 7:58:42 PM

ScatteredRose

Posts: 171
Joined: 3/9/2010
From: New Orleans
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HisPet21

I don't really feel I had any "definitive moment" when the kinky submissive inside of me was born. She was always there. For some reason I could never put my finger on, I always loved books and movies that portrayed women getting chased down, tied up, and enslaved. When Dreamworks came out with "The Prince of Egypt," I became entranced by the scene in which the slave Zipporah is offered to Moses as concubine. In my early teens, I also got hold of a book called "Midnight Predator," by Amelia Atwater-Rhodes, about a former vampire slave gone vampire hunter, who returns to deal some serious whoop-ass on her former tormentor and a vampire sanctuary called "Midnight." She has a lot of flashbacks, throughout the book, of being whipped into submission and then cuddled like a "pet." I re-read those scenes over and over again, never sure why I enjoyed them so much.

The connection between these feelings and sex didn't surface in my mind until college, and the internet. Finally free of my paranoid parents, I began to explore all the pron the internet had to offer, had an "Oh!" moment, and the rest is history.

I LOVE Amelia Atwater-Rhodes.

She writes the only vampire romance novels I'll read.

_____________________________

"Realizing I had a name-- Bec. It means "Little One". It's what Goll called me when he first found me. I was proud of the name. It was the only thing I owned, something nobody could ever take from me." The Demonata: vol 4 Bec.

(in reply to HisPet21)

Post #: 38

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