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dom vs dom - 1/6/2012 6:43:26 PM

NoyaQB

Posts: 6
Joined: 10/26/2009
Status: offline

Okay this is my dilemma...

Im deeply in love with this wonderful person who is very dominant...
because im very dominant and express this also in a sexual way its very frustrating...
to let him do things he doesnt want... a battle i cant win...

this lifestyle he isnt familiar with and he doesnt want know nothing about it... could be
a choice in my life i will regret in every way...

Dont get me wrong because our relationship is almost perfect.... us vs the world

but my sadistic feelings is getting stronger and i dont want to cheat or lie

i tried to explain him in serveral fantastic ways... but well... sometimes a dom doesnt want to hear it...

what to do...

thank you

Post #: 1

RE: dom vs dom - 1/6/2012 7:17:59 PM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NoyaQB

Okay this is my dilemma...

Im deeply in love with this wonderful person who is very dominant...
because im very dominant and express this also in a sexual way its very frustrating...
to let him do things he doesnt want... a battle i cant win...this lifestyle he isnt familiar with and he doesnt want know nothing about it... could be
a choice in my life i will regret in every way...

Dont get me wrong because our relationship is almost perfect.... us vs the world
but my sadistic feelings is getting stronger and i dont want to cheat or lie

i tried to explain him in serveral fantastic ways... but well... sometimes a dom doesnt want to hear it...

what to do...

thank you

uhm stop thinking of this person as a dominant? He (she?) isn't actually.. you've made it clear this isn't part of his life...if you want it to be part of yours, my guess is then this relationship is actually not at all perfect. Also, the part bolded above is confusing... I have no clue what you mean...

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to NoyaQB)

Post #: 2

RE: dom vs dom - 1/6/2012 9:57:12 PM

GotSteel

Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a
uhm stop thinking of this person as a dominant? He (she?) isn't actually.. you've made it clear this isn't part of his life...

Unfortunately the language barrier makes things difficult, I think she might be saying that he's dominant but not into bondage or sadism.

(in reply to Madame4a)

Post #: 3

RE: dom vs dom - 1/7/2012 4:59:40 AM

searching4mysir

Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline

FR

Are you both monogamous? Might he be open to an open relationship so you can get a piece on the side to satisfy those urges?

(in reply to GotSteel)

Post #: 4

RE: dom vs dom - 1/7/2012 6:05:54 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

Dang it!

I thought this was gonna be a real cool thread about two (or more) doms competing against one another for subs' attention.

It woulda been a classic.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to searching4mysir)

Post #: 5

RE: dom vs dom - 1/7/2012 7:09:38 AM

AttitudyJudy

Posts: 85
Joined: 1/6/2012
Status: offline

Or, you could just accept that some "urges" just are not going to be satisfied in your lifetime, and be satisfied with what you do have that is "almost perfect".

Frankly, I'd kill for something "almost perfect" with someone wonderful, and if I had to choose between him and scratching an itch that I have, then I would and not look back.

I'm glad you don't want to cheat and lie, and I hope you will continue to do so and not throw away this wonderful person that you are in love with.

_____________________________

You're about one stack of shit away from an episode of Hoarders.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 6

RE: dom vs dom - 1/7/2012 7:23:09 AM

RexDarcy

Posts: 597
Joined: 6/23/2010
From: Arizona
Status: offline

xxblushesxx, I was thinking the same thing.

OP, I agree with searchin4mysir. Another possibility is, if you are both Dominat, talk about bringing a third into the relationship.

_____________________________

"Don't fall away, and leave love bleeding."

"I am who I am today because of choices I made yesterday."

"To bring the pieces back together - rediscover communication."

(in reply to AttitudyJudy)

Post #: 7

RE: dom vs dom - 1/7/2012 7:28:31 AM

seababy

Posts: 845
Joined: 6/20/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Dang it!

I thought this was gonna be a real cool thread about two (or more) doms competing against one another for subs' attention.

It woulda been a classic.

Yeah I had my answer all ready. I was going to suggest they get thrown into a pit and fight it out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Rl46Dpy-P4&feature=related

dun dun da da da da da dun dun da! When Amok time begins bring on the kal-if-fee!

(best wishes to the OP but I'm not sure what your post means.)

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 8

RE: dom vs dom - 1/7/2012 7:57:11 AM

MissImmortalPain

Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline

Funny the title made me think of something like this.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdo1Mg0k__4

But in honest answer to the op....explain it to him again. Then decide what you can live with and what you can't. It has been my experience that the dominant role will lead where your realationship goes, or it will find a compromise in the middle.

_____________________________

It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

(in reply to seababy)

Post #: 9

RE: dom vs dom - 1/7/2012 9:07:50 AM

CynthiaWVirginia

Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NoyaQB

Okay this is my dilemma...

Im deeply in love with this wonderful person who is very dominant...
because im very dominant and express this also in a sexual way its very frustrating...
to let him do things he doesnt want... a battle i cant win...

this lifestyle he isnt familiar with and he doesnt want know nothing about it... could be
a choice in my life i will regret in every way...

Dont get me wrong because our relationship is almost perfect.... us vs the world
but my sadistic feelings is getting stronger and i dont want to cheat or lie

i tried to explain him in serveral fantastic ways... but well... sometimes a dom doesnt want to hear it...

what to do...

thank you

There's a book you can buy, called... When Someone You Love Is Kinky. Look for it at Amazon.com or Ebay.

Maybe he can end up going to some dungeon with you, watching while you get your sadistic groove on with a friendly masochist in a no strings way...and then your man can enjoy your sexual energy buzz when the two of you are back home again. You would have to play within his limits though. Good luck, I hope the two of you can work this out.

In my area, there are a lot of masochists who beg for no strings beatings and bondage, and in the past (before collaring someone), I topped as many as I wanted and kept all my clothing on. ;) I had no "vanilla" type sex with them.

In the end, if your dominant vanilla (not into BDSM) man cannot understand your need to have an outlet for your sexual sadism, you might have to leave him over this. Cheating is not really an option, is it? Sooner or later he would find out and you would lose him anyway.

(in reply to NoyaQB)

Post #: 10

RE: dom vs dom - 1/7/2012 9:26:11 AM

NoyaQB

Posts: 6
Joined: 10/26/2009
Status: offline

yes i think dutch and translate it in english sorrrrrry but gotsteel is right...

(in reply to GotSteel)

Post #: 11

RE: dom vs dom - 1/7/2012 9:31:07 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I'm not sure if the op is herself a bottom or a top. However, explain to him that you have these urges, that you need to satisfy them without having sex with the person who tops or bottoms to you. Go to a play party/dungeon and let him watch. Let him learn from others as well as from you. And then leave with the one that you came with.

If you really are submissive, then start asking him to control small things. Have him decide what you're making for dinner, what movie you go see. Ask him to make a choice for you and be thankful for him doing so. Whatever he chooses, do it, because if you don't then he's not going to believe you when you say you want him to dominate you.

If you're talking about getting pain play, then ask him to spank you before/during sex. Respond with enthusiasm. Tell him repeatedly how hot it made you, how you need him to do it again soon, only longer and harder.

Most of all, understand that this man has been taught his whole life not to hit girls and you're asking him to undo decades of indoctrination overnight. It just isn't going to happen. If he's comfortable spanking you, then ask him to tie your wrists with a scarf. Start small, don't put pressure on him, ask and don't demand.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to CynthiaWVirginia)

Post #: 12

RE: dom vs dom - 1/7/2012 11:00:32 AM

BikerDomRealTime

Posts: 86
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline

Two Doms compete for a sub? Is any girl worth that?

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 13

RE: dom vs dom - 1/7/2012 11:35:51 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: seababy

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Dang it!

I thought this was gonna be a real cool thread about two (or more) doms competing against one another for subs' attention.

It woulda been a classic.

Yeah I had my answer all ready. I was going to suggest they get thrown into a pit and fight it out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Rl46Dpy-P4&feature=related

dun dun da da da da da dun dun da! When Amok time begins bring on the kal-if-fee!

(best wishes to the OP but I'm not sure what your post means.)

A JELLO pit!!! (or one filled with butterscotch pudding...whatever)

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to seababy)

Post #: 14

RE: dom vs dom - 1/7/2012 11:37:29 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BikerDomRealTime

Two Doms compete for a sub? Is any girl worth that?

But of course! (there are many here!!!)

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to BikerDomRealTime)

Post #: 15

RE: dom vs dom - 1/7/2012 12:04:44 PM

searching4mysir

Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RexDarcy

xxblushesxx, I was thinking the same thing.

OP, I agree with searchin4mysir. Another possibility is, if you are both Dominat, talk about bringing a third into the relationship.

I was thinking along the lines of a masochistic cuck...someone for her to beat on and have the other dom in the relationship be their bull. Lord knows there are enough cucks around here it shouldn't be too hard to find one.

(in reply to RexDarcy)

Post #: 16

RE: dom vs dom - 1/7/2012 12:30:53 PM

Epytropos

Posts: 699
Joined: 7/23/2011
Status: offline

I'm not 100% sure I understand, but you could always just do what a lot of switch couples and just do a struggle scene. It's problematic if there's a big strength differential, but tiny little things have managed to have me looking like I went a round with Tyson just by sneaking things in when I'm "distracted" so you could get your sadistic urges out that way. For me at least, scenes where I've done that have been some of my hottest encounters, and I barely have a submissive bone in my body.

_____________________________

They're only words. Don't dwell on them. They never mean what you think.

I speak only of My Way. Think it not an indictment of Your Way.

(in reply to searching4mysir)

Post #: 17

RE: dom vs dom - 1/7/2012 12:37:54 PM

Epytropos

Posts: 699
Joined: 7/23/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir

quote:

ORIGINAL: RexDarcy

xxblushesxx, I was thinking the same thing.

OP, I agree with searchin4mysir. Another possibility is, if you are both Dominat, talk about bringing a third into the relationship.

I was thinking along the lines of a masochistic cuck...someone for her to beat on and have the other dom in the relationship be their bull. Lord knows there are enough cucks around here it shouldn't be too hard to find one.

The appeal of being a bull (for me at least) is coming into the relationship, taking what I want, and then leaving them to their own devices. To be in a relationship with someone first and then have a wimp come in afterwords would make me the cuckold, now wouldn't it?

_____________________________

They're only words. Don't dwell on them. They never mean what you think.

I speak only of My Way. Think it not an indictment of Your Way.

(in reply to searching4mysir)

Post #: 18

RE: dom vs dom - 1/7/2012 3:09:06 PM

searching4mysir

Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Epytropos

quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir

quote:

ORIGINAL: RexDarcy

xxblushesxx, I was thinking the same thing.

OP, I agree with searchin4mysir. Another possibility is, if you are both Dominat, talk about bringing a third into the relationship.

I was thinking along the lines of a masochistic cuck...someone for her to beat on and have the other dom in the relationship be their bull. Lord knows there are enough cucks around here it shouldn't be too hard to find one.

The appeal of being a bull (for me at least) is coming into the relationship, taking what I want, and then leaving them to their own devices. To be in a relationship with someone first and then have a wimp come in afterwords would make me the cuckold, now wouldn't it?

Only if she is fucking him instead of you

Or at least that's how I understand it.

(in reply to Epytropos)

Post #: 19

RE: dom vs dom - 1/7/2012 3:53:31 PM

Epytropos

Posts: 699
Joined: 7/23/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir

quote:

ORIGINAL: Epytropos
The appeal of being a bull (for me at least) is coming into the relationship, taking what I want, and then leaving them to their own devices. To be in a relationship with someone first and then have a wimp come in afterwords would make me the cuckold, now wouldn't it?

Only if she is fucking him instead of you Or at least that's how I understand it.

What do you mean?

_____________________________

They're only words. Don't dwell on them. They never mean what you think.

I speak only of My Way. Think it not an indictment of Your Way.

(in reply to searching4mysir)

Post #: 20

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