mystiquenz
Posts: 330
Joined: 8/13/2004
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Cariad, greetings,
I remember those feelings well. I think that it happens, because the times that you spend with your Dominant, can be intense, there is a lot of mental energy, the up and coming meeting, the time of the interaction or if you like "play" and then coming home, to your enviornment, away from your Master/Dominant/Top.
I found, that during those times, that I was heading home, I would ensure that I had comfort food, like chocolate and for some reason bananas. *don't laugh* a terrible combination.
It is in a sense a form of subdrop, but it is more to do with the mental equalibrium or the lack thereof. For me, at least, I found, that when I drove, the two hour journey home, by the time I got home, there was just a feeling of isolation. It only lasts for a day or two, and sometimes, I would feel *down* before I even left, and other times, it may have been up to a few days later. As this particular Dominant never drove to me, or seldom, and I was the one that visited after all that is where His dungeon was, then, it was rather harder. The ups and the downs, i'm sorry cariad, are really a part of the integral part of how we process the interaction.
I think mainly, in part, it is because in your heart, you know that that is where you want to be, and then you to leave, and you know it could be some time before that same situation re-presented itself.
I think that sometimes we have to firm ourselves up. If you are playing for the sake of play, but the dynamic is not what you seek, then you cope with the consequences. The downs are the consequences of any D/s interaction. But then like any cycle, the highs, are terrific are they not?
I am sure there are many threads you can read on subdrop, or a post to a forum like this and as many people who stop on by and contribute, you could find as many different answers and people who contribute. Only one or two of the posts will ring true to you.
I would suggest by having a couple of really supportive people in your physical, would be helpful, someone you could just pick up the phone and speak to. I know that worked a real treat for me. Another thing, I would like to suggest, is to just sit still, and in a notebook, write down your feelings. Get regular exercise, eat proper meals, and look after yourself, they are all important facets of preparing yourself mentally and physically. You need to be in balance. You need to be whole.
Regardless, being a bottom/submissive/slave, you need to be a very strong lady, in my opinion, so that you can cope with the ups and the downs and try to put them into some kind of workable order. It may well be that your Dominant will call you, and just by hearing the tone of his voice, that will settle you.
It may be that there is some kind of ritual that you can organise for yourself, and work your way through the endless times. From my experiences (although they are not significant), you need to put yourself first, and your dominant needs to be supportive and help you through these patches. I hope that this Dominant is going to be there for you. I think that it is part of the extended "after care". It must have been a good time, cariad to have come down so hard. My heart goes out for you, as you are obviously alone at this time, and a hug never goes astray.
Remember the old boy scout/girl guide motto "be prepared" well, try and organise yourself so that the next time, it will not be as rough for you. Having said that, equally, know in your heart of hearts, that you coped this time, you will the next time, but hopefully, your Dominant will assist in the settling down mechanism.
~hugs from afar~
_____________________________
blessings
~mystique~
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