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Rochsub2009 -> RE: Don't call me "Mistress," call me "Chief." (1/10/2012 8:29:11 AM)
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AAkasha,
Good question. I definitely understand where you're coming from on this. I cringe at some of the honorifics that I hear in the D/s lifestyle.
Personally, I don't like "Mistress". Mistress is commonly used in dominatrix porn, but it's seldom used in vanilla life. And when the term is used among vanilla folks, it typically means a "chick on the side" that a husband is cheating with. She's his "mistress". So since that definition is much more commonly understood than the D/s definition, I find the term to be unsatisfactory.
I've been with Dommes who have asked me to call them "Princess", "Goddess" and "Queen". Personally, I've found all of these terms to be rather silly (even though I never told them that). Those 3 terms just seem to be too over-the-top for me.
For me, when I communicate with the dominant woman in my life, I try to show honor and respect in both my tone, and in the title that I use. That's why I've always found that I'm most comfortable with the term "Ma'am". When I've been given a command by a Domme, "Yes Ma'am" seems to be a response that communicates my compliance with the order, as well as my recognition of her status relative to mine.
I have also found it very satisfying when I have been made to always include the word "Miss" or "Ms." before her name. So for example, I would never be able to call you "AAkasha". Instead, I would always refer to you as "Miss AAkasha". Once again, that honorific shows respect, which is key for me.
There is actually a dominant woman on this board who prefers to be referred to as "Ms. ____" by those who serve her. Anytime I communicate with her (even on these boards), I would never think of referring to her as anything other than "Ms. ____". Referring to her in any way other than that would just feel wrong to me.
Finally, I once served a Domme who made me refer to her as "Master". She didn't view "Master" as a masculine term. Rather, she thought that it best communicated our relative positions. She thought that its meaning was much clearer than the more ambiguous term "Mistress". Frankly, I agreed with her. I have never found an honorific that I felt communicated the respect that I felt, and reflected our relative positions, better than "Master". I've never understood why more women don't ask to be referred to using that honorific". I don't mean by the title "Master AAkasha". Rather, I mean that the appropriate response to your commands should be "Yes Master". That's how the former Domme that I mentioned trained me to respond to any request, or command that she gave. My response was always to be "Yes Master".
IMO, "Yes Master" didn't communicate masculinity on her part. Rather, it was the perfect phrase to capture the strength of her position relative to mine, and the weight that her requests/commands carried in my eyes.
Does that make sense?
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