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RE: Dom/me or Master/Mistress? - 5/31/2006 12:47:41 PM   
seekerofwisdom


Posts: 19
Joined: 8/17/2005
Status: offline 		How they relate to the person they're topping, I'd say. A dominant acts a little different than a master. But then, a slave and a submissive are two different kinds too. 

(in reply to becca333)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Dom/me or Master/Mistress? - 5/31/2006 12:50:20 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: becca333

Ok, this is probably the stupidest question of the week, but I'm here to learn, so:

What's the difference between a Dom/me and a Master/Mistress?


Have you seen the different answers you've gotten? Not such a stupid question then unless you thought there was one answer.

For me, dom is a reflection of personality and scene orientation -- I am a dom requires of whether or not I'm with someone.

For me, Master/Mistress is very much like a job title or a role. I must have a slave or a submissive otherwise who am I master/mistress of?

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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RE: Dom/me or Master/Mistress? - 5/31/2006 1:20:31 PM   
MrRodgers


Posts: 10542
Joined: 7/30/2005
Status: offline 		I think we are generally in agreement with the understanding that a Master/Mistress/slave affair exist only as consumated by the ownership of a collared slave. Idealy this is in a 24/7 live-in affair. That's what they are, head of household, manager of all affairs and the director of debauchery.

The dominant is at first only the director of debauchery. His sub, submits to him. This could and often does lead to a M/s relationship.

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Dom/me or Master/Mistress? - 5/31/2006 2:05:19 PM   
Reflectivesoul


Posts: 1777
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: becca333

Ok, this is probably the stupidest question of the week, but I'm here to learn, so:

What's the difference between a Dom/me and a Master/Mistress? 


The only stupid question is the one that goes unasked

<edited cause I cant spell lol >

< Message edited by Reflectivesoul -- 5/31/2006 2:08:12 PM >

_____________________________

ooooo..I bet THATS gonna leave a mark!!!!

Equal opportunity pisser on-er ... heh..

Gimme some crayons, I want color and I want it now DAMNIT!

(in reply to becca333)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Dom/me or Master/Mistress? - 5/31/2006 2:56:09 PM   
MistressMelissa


Posts: 226
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrRodgers

I think we are generally in agreement with the understanding that a Master/Mistress/slave affair exist only as consumated by the ownership of a collared slave. Idealy this is in a 24/7 live-in affair. That's what they are, head of household, manager of all affairs and the director of debauchery.

The dominant is at first only the director of debauchery. His sub, submits to him. This could and often does lead to a M/s relationship.


No, I don't agree. If you owned a slave for 15 years and then the slave passed away, are you no longer a Master? By what you have stated, they would then be demoted to the rank of Dominant since they no longer own property/slave.

Dominant comes from dominace and submission aka Ds. Maybe you should think of Ds more like a class/group of things like automobles. Now within the class of automobiles you have Chevy, Ford, Buick etc.... So the term Ds would just represent all relationships based on a power exchange whether you call them Ms, TPE, APE, PE, Op, whatever.... They are all forms of dominance and submission or Ds. Likewise Dominant could just be a class or group that contains the terms Master/Mistress, Dom/me, Lord, and what ever other title you wish to come up with.

As for subs and slaves, you can argue till the cows come home, but that's another fetish/thread. The reason we have all these different terms or levels as some like to make them, is because humans have a need to say "I'm more _____ than you are". So, one is Master, the other is Lord and another is Emperor E.I. my _____ is bigger than your _____. So maybe if we stopped ranking them, we could move past the I'm better than you or a slave is better than a sub or a Master is better than a Dom. From what most "Masters" write and say, is the title of Master really worth it?

It's a rant, but I own it. Fire away....

Melissa
Mistress of Ds Haven
www.dshaven.com

(in reply to MrRodgers)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Dom/me or Master/Mistress? - 5/31/2006 3:49:43 PM   
Slipstreme


Posts: 817
Joined: 1/1/2006
Status: offline 		In my opinion

Dom/me:
someone who is naturally dominant, maybe has masochistic and/or some submissive qualities.
May possibly be only a service Top, often catering to their bottom/ submissive's fetishes.
May be experimenting with the lifestyle.
May be just a Top (self serving), or just interested in the sexual aspect.
May assume the title Master/Mistress because it pleases them.

Master/Mistress:
Someone who owns or is in a D/s relationship with a slave(s) or submissive(s).
If not with a sub/slave they are looking for or want to be in a D/s relationship.
May be part time, may be full time. Usually long term.
May also be a Top to friends, may also have some masochistic qualities, but is searching for more to the lifestyle than kink.
May also be considered a Dom/me because of their dominant nature.
May also decide to refuse the title Master/Mistress, because labels are in, and of themselves, limiting.

And of the above. It is all relative, as everyone's definition of what a Dom/me, Master/Mistress is, will be different.

< Message edited by Slipstreme -- 5/31/2006 3:51:00 PM >

_____________________________

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Painslut? How about "Endorphin Junkie"?

For information about "the furry thing" please check out my profile journal entry for: 1/17/2006

Alpha of a leather family of four. Master to the slave z.

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Dom/me or Master/Mistress? - 5/31/2006 5:43:52 PM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressMelissa
By what you have stated, they would then be demoted to the rank of Dominant since they no longer own property/slave.


Only if you think of it in terms of some kind of ranking structure.

Master: I am a Master, I look down on Him because he is only a Dominant
Dom: I am a Dominant, I look upto Him because he is a Master
       *Turns* I look down on her because she is only a sub
Sub: I know my place




_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to MistressMelissa)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Dom/me or Master/Mistress? - 5/31/2006 5:48:59 PM   
genvieve


Posts: 228
Joined: 5/14/2005
From: SF Bay Area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: becca333

Ok, this is probably the stupidest question of the week, but I'm here to learn, so:

What's the difference between a Dom/me and a Master/Mistress? 


That really depends on the context through which it is used.  i use the term Dominant when referring to all kinds, since one figure is always the more Dominant of the two.  But usually when one is refered to as just a "Master" or "Mistress"...it's referring to Gor... or to the D/s version of Master and slave.
 
To clarify... as a whole... Dom/mes go with subbies and Master/Mistresses go with slaves

< Message edited by genvieve -- 5/31/2006 5:49:44 PM >

_____________________________

In the quietness of myself, i find myself at the mercy of Your hand.

Musical Wishes Design

(in reply to becca333)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Dom/me or Master/Mistress? - 5/31/2006 7:17:47 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear becca333, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
Becca lass, I'm going to perhaps throw more into the mix--so, perhaps an asprin will be of use before reading.
 
In my mind's eye as well as personal experiences; I have walked many venues and identified by my peers and those in the lifestyle with many labels. 
 
Yes, I am a dominant female, I do identify as a dominatrix and although professional at what I do, I am not a "Pro-dominant."  I am also called a Master, to whom my Gay slave "titled" me that way.  It was not due to gender but, due to the qualities of a Master.  My heterosexual slave males titled me as Mistress as well as M`Lady.  At the academy, I go by Lady Hugs, SIR, Master Hugs, Master H, Mistress, Mistress H, Ma`am.  Lady, is just as much of a title, as well as a statement of behavior.  All are said with respect.  Some with affection in addition to respect.
 
I have mastered different skills, to which would be similar to a Master Blacksmith or Swordsmith or other "masters" of the arts, skills, etc.
 
My personal feelings on the matter, ladies and gentlemen; are that each person brings forth qualities that are unique to 'you' (in a general sense).  There will be some dominant and or submissive that makes a perfect fit and or those who do not.  The whole purpose for such a forum is not only to put before all, how different we (in general terms) but; also how much we all have in common.
 
Where one dominant may be lacking, other dominants are wonderful to share and invite consideration to a different way of seeing things and or doing things.  The same can be said for the submissive sorts. 
 
Yes, there will be times of communication frustration.  However, I enjoy everybody's thoughts.  It is stepping into a living library, with the ability to ask questions and have answers, with so many 'flavors.'
 
Dominance and submissive, before they were titles, was a description of a state of being.  A state of awareness.  In mastering such--we enjoy the benefits, regardless of the title.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
 
 

(in reply to becca333)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Dom/me or Master/Mistress? - 5/31/2006 7:36:39 PM   
Calandra


Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline 		I am Mystress to those who serve me... Domme to anyone else...
 
That doesn't mean I feel entitled to actively Dominate everyone else, simply that that's how I identify...
 
 

(in reply to becca333)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Dom/me or Master/Mistress? - 6/1/2006 12:38:07 AM   
becca333


Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline 		Strangely enough, I'm actually starting to get a feel for the answer.  I have a better idea of it all now - just don't ask me to put it into words!

Thank you all for your help.  This place really is an education!

(in reply to Calandra)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Dom/me or Master/Mistress? - 6/1/2006 1:17:59 AM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

For me, Master/Mistress is very much like a job title or a role. I must have a slave or a submissive otherwise who am I master/mistress of?

That only works if you view it as a title, and even then the logic has a flaw.  For example, I used to work as a carpenter and eventually became a master carpenter.  I no longer work as a carpenter but I'm still a master carpenter.  Why, because the skills, ability, etc. are still there, even if I'm not using them or working as a carpenter anymore.  If being a Master or Mistress is a job, then surely there are skills and qualifications that go with it, do you stop having those just because you no longer have a slave? 

I think the problem with this thinking comes from trying to qualify who is entitled to be called a Master or Mistress by whether or not they own a slave.  To me that raises several questions.  First, why qualify it in that way at all?  Are those that do trying to indicate some degree of ability, achievement, etc. (and of course in some cases its just elitism)?  If so, how does simply owning a slave do that?  In this day and age with so many exploring this lifestyle, owning a slave is rather easy if you aren't picky and have no standards.  So how is owning just any slave a qualifier of anything?  If some want to qualify the title of Master with some sort of meaning, then why not associate it with skill and ability, much as I had to do to become a master carpenter.  That is, if these are "titles" and to be a Master you have to earn it by presently owning a slave... then which of these is better; the "master" who collared the first slave he could fit into a collar, or the "dom" who patiently waits to find the right slave that meets his high standards?  Seems to me this sort of logic leads to making them useless as titles, in which case why qualify it at all.

I'm not trying to start any arguments or attack anyone's point of view.  As I said in my first post this all comes down to personal opinion (and clearly I have mine).  However, I do hope it sparks some thought and challenges some points of view.  I think there are problems with thinking of it as a title for a variety of reasons, just as I also believe anyone who tries to derive their authority as a dominant from a title is headed for trouble.  Its one of the reasons I've come to view it as an orientation, a label for a type of style of relationship or a style of life (as I defined in my previous post), rather than any sort of title.

To answer your question, which may have been rhetorical, "Who am I a master of if I own no slave?"  The same person I am first and foremost to begin with... myself.  That's where my mastery begins and flows from.  That well spring does not suddenly run dry because a relationship ends.  A slave does not make me who I am, she doesn't complete me or finish me.  I'm a complete person already, I don't need her, but I do want her.  She doesn't fulfill my life, but she does contribute to it and make it more pleasant.  She isn't the source of my happiness, but she is part of it.  I'm a master, and I remain so whether I have a slave or not, or even whether or not I remain in this lifestyle.  I remain a master, not because I own or have owned slaves, not because anyone else recognizes me as such (though certainly some do), but first and foremost because of the way I live... because I choose to master myself first of all.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Dom/me or Master/Mistress? - 6/1/2006 1:33:47 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		OK, I haven't read this thread yet.. (I will tomorrow).. but here's my 2 cent definition.

There are Tops and bottoms .. those who embrace the physical and/or mental aspects of S/m. Switches will play either top or bottom and it is, to me, play. I'm an S/m Switch. I bottom to Himself, Top to anyone who says yes and comes within range of my sewing kit.

There are Masters and slaves .. those who live a life based on a D/s or M/s mindset. Switches have the mindset of both a Master and a slave and live one or both, often dependent upon their partners mindset, but not necessarily so. I'm a M/s slave - serving one person who is an M/s Master.

Dominant and submissive are adjectives describing a person's character trait towards one or the other. I am a submissive female married to a dominant male and those adjectives have nothing to do with BDSM or M/s D/s. I would be a submissive female married to a dominant male whether or not M/s, D/s or BDSM was involved.

Simple definitions from a fairly simply slave but they work well for Himself and I and that's all they have to do.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Padriag)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Dom/me or Master/Mistress? - 6/1/2006 1:34:02 AM   
becca333


Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline 		Thank you.

There are some very impressive people, and deep thinkers, on this site.  So many people who are at peace with themselves, and are very self-aware.

(in reply to Padriag)
Profile   Post #: 34
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