BDSM vs D/s (Full Version)

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blushes4u -> BDSM vs D/s (10/24/2004 2:49:33 PM)

Is there a difference between BDSM and D/s? If so can someone either give me an idea of the difference or, if there has been threads on this before, give me clues how to search for it *blushes* .



LadyAngelika -> RE: BDSM vs D/s (10/24/2004 3:24:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: blushes4u

Is there a difference between BDSM and D/s? If so can someone either give me an idea of the difference or, if there has been threads on this before, give me clues how to search for it *blushes* .


All these acronyms get confusing. And the worst part is, that even after you break them apart, they don't mean the same thing for everyone.

BDSM is a clever little overlapping acronym which gathers all of the sub-groupings
BD - bondage & discipline
..DS - domination & submission
....SM - sadism & masochism

So D/s is one of the components of BDSM. Though a lot of people mix it all up, a lot of them only play with one or two.

Hope this helps.



MLordEd -> RE: BDSM vs D/s (10/24/2004 3:34:02 PM)

Be careful in trying to lock down symbols, as many people use them differently. (One of the best ways to start a flame-thread is to try to insist on one set of definitions, and claim others are wrong. <grin>)
That said, it is pretty commonly understood:

BDSM is Bondage, Domination, Sadism, and Masochism.
Used mostly used as a label for the entire field, and it is (or it should be) understood that someone interested in BDSM is not necessarily interested in every single sub-field within.

D/S usually means Domination/Submission. This is one of the sub-fields within BDSM, usually referring to the preference of the controlling aspects (usually mental as well as physical) rather than the pain aspects.



LadyBeckett -> RE: BDSM vs D/s (10/24/2004 3:35:09 PM)

It would be kinda like breaking down blood...you've got white cells, red cells....



LadyAngelika -> RE: BDSM vs D/s (10/24/2004 3:48:12 PM)

quote:

That said, it is pretty commonly understood:
BDSM is Bondage, Domination, Sadism, and Masochism.


I guess it depends where you are hailing from. I believe your vision of the acronym leaves out discipline and submission.

- LA



MrThorns -> RE: BDSM vs D/s (10/24/2004 4:14:00 PM)

My understanding of the acronym BDSM is Bondage/Discipline Dominance/submission Sadism/Masochism. I agree with Lady Angelika that D/s is a component of BDSM.

~Thorns



OMC -> RE: BDSM vs D/s (10/24/2004 8:15:38 PM)

In my experience Ds was not incorporated into BDSM until about 8-10 years ago. It seems the advent of online exploration brought about Ds becoming a subset of the previously accepted Bondage/Discipline/Sadism/Masochism acronym. This was a topic of discussion several years ago at a reteat I attended. The best we could determine was that BDSM at the time had negative associations, where Ds (when explained as a power exchange and perhaps a personality label-Dominant/submissive) tended to soften that perception. Thus, the whole of the activities we may choose to participate in became a more acceptable.

Personally, I still keep Ds out of BDSM when explaining. My view is Ds is how we interact in relation to our personalities. BDSM are activities we may or not choose to participate in as an expression of personality.

:::curious look::: That make sense to anyone besides me?



sub4hire -> RE: BDSM vs D/s (10/24/2004 8:50:00 PM)

Everyone is right. Everyone you talk to will say it all means something different to them.

My personal view is on my one of my webpages...here you go.

http://hometown.aol.com/__121b_djVE/1zFNuEZPGPeHM8wH3U1IfD7OK8lwuSy/+aLY0g=



yellovv -> RE: BDSM vs D/s (10/24/2004 9:43:58 PM)

everyone is correct. BDSM is the generalization of the culture rolled up in one four letter word



Sylverdawn -> RE: BDSM vs D/s (10/24/2004 10:13:54 PM)

I think you can have D/s without the bondage, discipline ( corporal ) sado masochism.

D/s is about control and power exchange and can exist with out kink..



GoddessDustyGold -> RE: BDSM vs D/s (10/25/2004 1:21:43 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MLordEd

D/S usually means Domination/Submission. This is one of the sub-fields within BDSM, usually referring to the preference of the controlling aspects (usually mental as well as physical) rather than the pain aspects.



I agree, and I try to stress the D/s aspect in My love of the lifestyle since I am most comfortable in the Goddess area of worship and submission. How I work My love of CBT in there, I don't know. I love to tie boys up too! LOL Oh and D/s also can indicate Domestic servitude.
But I list interests and further clarify in My profile. In fact, I have it all broken down for the boys in My profile. Just trying to make it as easy as possible for them. Ah well..
About it not being around that long (the D/s part I mean) I have always understood the Acronym since I became active in 1989. I think perhaps it is more an internet thing of watering down the whole ideal and speaking of BDSM with a shortened verson of the term D/s? Maybe I'm wrong.
Off topic: Lady Angelika! I love your profile! It made Me blush crimson! LOL



RiotGirl -> RE: BDSM vs D/s (10/25/2004 11:47:09 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OMC

In my experience Ds was not incorporated into BDSM until about 8-10 years ago. It seems the advent of online exploration brought about Ds becoming a subset of the previously accepted Bondage/Discipline/Sadism/Masochism acronym. This was a topic of discussion several years ago at a reteat I attended. The best we could determine was that BDSM at the time had negative associations, where Ds (when explained as a power exchange and perhaps a personality label-Dominant/submissive) tended to soften that perception. Thus, the whole of the activities we may choose to participate in became a more acceptable.

Personally, I still keep Ds out of BDSM when explaining. My view is Ds is how we interact in relation to our personalities. BDSM are activities we may or not choose to participate in as an expression of personality.

:::curious look::: That make sense to anyone besides me?



Perfect sense and i think you explained it rather well. I was never sure and i wonder what the "orginal" The very orginial stood for. I think your explanation prolly comes close




blushes4u -> RE: BDSM vs D/s (10/25/2004 1:16:09 PM)

WoW!! Thank you all for your help!! A special thanks to sub4hire i got a lot of information from the link you posted. Well, after reading this I DO need to change my profile some lol ...thanks again all :)



IsmyKinkyourkink -> RE: BDSM vs D/s (10/25/2004 1:52:40 PM)

bsdm is a title that encompasses a large field. D/s is a sub area that is more specific



topcat -> RE: BDSM vs D/s (10/25/2004 4:22:57 PM)

Midear Blushes-

It's a good question, and you have gotten some good answers. Thank you for posting it. If I may, I'd like to slide off on a tangent here an address an underlying issue that may actually have more relevance in your situation, as well as for others that might be reading this.

There is no such thing as BDSM. There is no 'Scene'- or at least there is no great unified standardized scene out there anywhere. We all have our own scenes, our own kinks and often things go awry for us when we use these terms- like BDSM, B&D, D/S, SM, Dominant, Submissive, Master, Slave, etc., and asumme that they mean the same to others.

From time to time, I get a note from someone new to this stuff, or meet one when I am out and about, and I usually ask the same questions- "why do you want this?", "what does it do for you?". It's either amusing or horrorifying to see the number of people that cannot define their needs or desires or even what exactly they think this stuff is about. In all fairness, occasionally I meet a seeker who promptly answers with a well though out, clearly spoken, self aware assesment of who they are and what they want and often, how they got that way- These are the ones I want in my scene.

Know thyself. Thats the best place to start, and it's the best way to have a chance of finding a partner who can meet your needs, fufill your desires.

End of rant....

Stay warm,
Lawrence




ChrisGreen -> RE: BDSM vs D/s (10/25/2004 6:34:01 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: blushes4u

Is there a difference between BDSM and D/s? If so can someone either give me an idea of the difference or, if there has been threads on this before, give me clues how to search for it *blushes* .



They are just letters that people append various meanings to.

You may as well ask what God says - Foow! Foow!

Regards

[:D]



Mercnbeth -> RE: BDSM vs D/s (10/26/2004 9:48:36 AM)

blushes,

This question addresses a common thread for a number of posts currently being discussed on the message board. I think the question applies to the questions regarding taking children to Munches, discussing the lifestyle with children, and even the dress up question regarding lifestyle fashion. To us the distinction is BDSM defines the physical application of sensation. D/s defines the mental power dynamic, or exchange between the individuals.

So we can understand why discussion or disclosure of the BDSM side of our relationship would be uncomfortable and inappropriate for public display especially around children. Equating it to a vanilla relationship, parents may in broad strokes describe the physical relationship they have, but don't do a demo for the kids. They discuss and say the the physical is the consummation of the loving relationship that they enjoy.

D/s becomes the emotional "love" associated with the physical BDSM. But the D/s aspect is constant. That dynamic is easier to discuss and explain without getting into the physical aspects. You can have one without the other. Scening with a partner, only desiring the sensation without the power exchange is common. I think it more difficult buy you could have the D/s without the physical. Is that a description of an "on-line" relationship?

Please do not think that we are presenting absolute definitions, but this is how we separate the two concepts.




NoCalOwner -> RE: BDSM vs D/s (10/26/2004 8:52:21 PM)

I kind of prefer the glass-half-full perspective: to me, D/s is not the non-physical part of BDSM any more than bondage and SM are the mindless/emotionless part of BDSM. Almost every order given in a D/s relationship relates to things physical, and humiliation and mindfuck are within the realm of SM, even though they may be 100% mental. D/s is still a kink, which means it ties into (physical) sex. Of course BDSM is not "all about sex," but how many strictly het Doms have male slaves? So I have a hard time seeing it as an ethereal abstraction which lacks a physical component.

To me, D/s is BDSM minus pain/mindfucking and physical restraints. It's one person being in command of another, and it's as physical as you make it. Unlike some kinks, it can also go on 24 hours a day for years, rather than ending when a scene ends.



baileythorne -> RE: BDSM vs D/s (10/26/2004 11:17:48 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

BDSM is a clever little overlapping acronym which gathers all of the sub-groupings
BD - bondage & discipline
..DS - domination & submission
....SM - sadism & masochism



Actually, I tell people the SM can also stand for "Sexual Magic" ;-)

--bailey



GoddessDustyGold -> RE: BDSM vs D/s (10/27/2004 1:45:40 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: NoCalOwner

I kind of prefer the glass-half-full perspective: to me, D/s is not the non-physical part of BDSM any more than bondage and SM are the mindless/emotionless part of BDSM. Almost every order given in a D/s relationship relates to things physical, and humiliation and mindfuck are within the realm of SM, even though they may be 100% mental. D/s is still a kink, which means it ties into (physical) sex. Of course BDSM is not "all about sex," but how many strictly het Doms have male slaves? So I have a hard time seeing it as an ethereal abstraction which lacks a physical component.

To me, D/s is BDSM minus pain/mindfucking and physical restraints. It's one person being in command of another, and it's as physical as you make it. Unlike some kinks, it can also go on 24 hours a day for years, rather than ending when a scene ends.


Very good! May I quote you?



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