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LaTigresse -> RE: What is your one single greatest regret? (1/19/2012 4:24:24 AM)
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If it is an ongoing life problem and something that continues to cause you problems, or those you love, problems, I can understand why you are upset about it.
To way over simplify, you cannot allow any old Joe or Josephine to walk up and tell you they are a doctor and will perform your apendectomy.....that would be naive and dangerous for sure.
Similarly for a s-type person that is meeting people to relinquish power to. You want and need to protect yourself and those you love.
But on here, in our little internet friend and acquaintance world......I give people more leeway. Perhaps foolishly. But I look at it as an investment, or in this case lack thereof. I know there is a human being typing the words (at least I feel safe in assuming that) but beyond that, what is my loss if they are not the gender they say, not the profession they claim, don't have the face they've put up a photo of ( I don't think you are that sexy devil and I am not a real tiger)? I don't care if they don't really have the relationship they are fantasizing about and pretty much, every other possible angle of internet creation. I don't care because it doesn't impact me. I don't mind letting people live their little fantasy as long as they don't try to drag it into my life.
I understand that you feel hurt and betrayed because you had a 'friendship' with, I believe 'Heather' beyond here. It makes perfect sense to mourn the loss of that relationship. Even if it was built on a crazy old man's lie. But the silver lining because I really do always look for one, is that you had to have gained something from that friendship. Regardless of who was really doing the typing on the other end. Just take whatever positive there was before you knew different and let the rest go.
I was equally hoodwinked but didn't communicate beyond here but once or twice via email on the other side. For ME, there was no emotional investment. I ignored any red flags due to lack of give a damn. You gave a damn and that is not something to regret. You stood up for someone you felt was your friend. That is not something to regret. It was an honourable thing to do. The regret is all on the person that didn't deserve what you gave them.
If I was your friend, I would be honoured that you cared enough to stand up for me. I only hope that your devotion as a friend would be deserving. Bob aka Heather, was not. But that is certainly no fault of yours.
The only lesson you could possibly take from this would be to give your friendship more cautiously. But, is that the price you are willing to pay? To become more cold and closed off like some old bitch I know very very well........
Again, unless this is a running theme in your life, I would take it as a one time gig and move on. The old fucker was pretty skillful. I doubt there are many like him running amok.
Do what is best for YOU, but don't lose the core wonderfulness that makes you the friend you are.
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