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BoxwineForBrunch -> RE: BDSM out of necessity? (1/22/2012 3:22:59 AM)
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see, dude, this is such a king hell bummer. you tried to say something provocative, and you didn't really say it that well but you touched enough raw nerves to provoke a reaction anyway. then you just keep cowering and equivocating and begging and it's all just so sad. :(
it's like when you not only get flashed by an old dude in the park but you can't help noticing he didn't even bother to get it up. all flaccid and wrinkly and gross. :(
quote:
ORIGINAL: Dscouple7383
Ok, well......lesson learned.
Never get on a message board first thing in the morning when you are NOT a morning person! LOL
I understand my OP was mean spirited in tone, and I have apologized for that already.
Judging by the response, it's a valid topic, I just shouldn't have been so mean and in a bad mood when I typed the post in the first place.
Because people took what I said WAY out of context.
So, I will TRY to set the record straight, and if you still think I'm an asshole, then so be it.
First off, I would like to point out that in no way do I think that I am all that plus a bag of chips, nor did I ever say that I thought I was. In fact, the post was MORE about people around MY AREA ONLY who appear to not care about themselves or their appearance.
Now....if that's how they want to be, then GREAT!! That doesn't make them worse than me, and it sure doesn't make me better than them. What it DOES do, is makes us different. I'm also not "frustrated" at not being able to find anyone to play with or whatever, as someone earlier tried to imply.
What I AM frustrated with, is not being able to find people near me who share the same kind of mindset. And by the same kind of mindset, I mean people who make an effort to take care of themselves. THAT'S IT!!!
There is a HUGE difference (no pun intended) on a woman OR MAN who is overweight and BEAUTIFUL, compared to an overweight SLOB who just doesn't give an f about anything, including themselves.
So, yes....I seem to be running into the latter, as opposed to the first. I think anyone who kept reaching out in the local community, and all they seemed to find were people who were more slobs than people who work hard and may not have the nicest clothes, or manicured nails or whatever, would get frustrated after a while.
I don't care whether you are ugly or supermodel. I don't care whether you are morbidly obese or if you are unhealthily skinny. I don't care if you are rich or poor. But what I DO care about is having a shred of pride in yourself. OR, having a shred of pride in your partner, to not allow them to just be a slob. And slob doesn't mean FAT!!! I've met plenty of skinny slobs.
So this isn't about weight EITHER!!!!!! It isn't about women or men. It's about a mentality. And I'm frustrated that I haven't, as yet, found people in our local community who share that same mentality.
And the reason for my question about how many people or what percentage of people are in this lifestyle out of necessity, ALSO falls in line with the same people (dominant and submissive) who email you and get incredulous when you don't respond to them. It's almost as if the very fact that they are submissive or dominant, means that you are automatically interested in them, no matter what they look like, how old they are, what kinks they are into, etc. And THAT is where looks and appearance DO have a little bit of importance.
To me, it's the same type of mentality.
And again, TO ME, just because you affix a label to you, doesn't just grant you access to everything. Anything worth doing takes EFFORT. It takes WORK. And I'm not finding people with the same motivation. I think if everyone were honest with themselves, you can understand how that MIGHT be a touch frustrating.
Granted, that doesn't give me license to generalize the way I did, and to be mean spirited. I DO understand that.
The saving grace to me, is that I didn't call anyone out specifically. I only referred to the people who I have met in my previous local community, and I've only started to see signs of the same type of mentality in the local community where I am now. If you are locally in my community, and I've met you and you have met me? Then I can understand you taking issue with my comments, and I will be happy to have further discussions with you. But if you are in my local community and I haven't met you, then I am OBVIOUSLY not talking about you!!!
Maybe there are others out there who have the same type of motivation, drive, and mentality that my fiance, our sub, and I have. But at the time I wrote my original post, I was starting to feel like there aren't any people out there close to us who we can talk to, meet, share ideas, stories, etc.
We aren't looking to "hook up", and I'm NOT frustrated with that. We never have had problems with "hooking up" if we wanted to do things like that, or play. So, for all those who think I'm frustrated with not being able to "find" someone, I will be getting married on March 4th to the love of my life! And yes, I met her on this site. AND we met our sub on this site as well.
So, we are HAPPY and don't NEED to "find" people for any reason other than to socialize and to rub elbows with people of like mind.
It's just that people of like mind are few and far between.
I got frustrated.
I am human.
Apologies to anyone who was DIRECTLY offended at what I had to say, because there really wasn't any intent on attacking any PERSON individually, but rather a mindset that I am finding to be more prevalent than I had anticipated.
Take care,
Derek
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