Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned? (Full Version)

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TheKingofHell -> Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned? (1/16/2012 12:19:28 AM)

Okay I was contemplating a possible punishment for a subslave particularly when they fall asleep on me whe they are not suppose to. The idea I had is that if they are so brazen as to fall asleep on me. They wake up in a locked coffin that I have stashed somewhere. This is for two reason one to make sure they never fall asleep on me again and two to have a good laugh as they start freaking out. I of course let them out after a few minutes or hours.

My second idea is when dealing with a very narcissisitic sub/slave that wont stop looking at them selves in the mirror and thus gets distracted from their tasks make them where a mask(for fixed period of time like a few hours in the day) or shave their head or both. Mind you I am new at this and I haven't decided to use these I as I fear the
potential repricussions.



sunshinemiss -> RE: Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned? (1/16/2012 12:41:07 AM)

Well, it's obvious you're new at this.



fadedshadow -> RE: Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned? (1/16/2012 12:42:53 AM)

are you sure you're not insane, person who posted this?



TheKingofHell -> RE: Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned? (1/16/2012 12:45:56 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: fadedshadow

are you sure you're not insane, person who posted this?

No just knew and they are just ideas I came up with at the top of my head.



SpiritedRadiance -> RE: Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned? (1/16/2012 12:50:11 AM)

Well OP, they are interesting, however, you must consider a lot of things.

First, why did they fall asleep? Are your expectations  on them completely unreasonable? Are you asking someone who works 80 hours a week between their normal life, to stay up for 2 hours to listen to you speak? Are you being honest with their capabilities?

Second, What would these punishments gain you, the effect of punishment i assume is to change a behavior, what behavior would this change? Would it do anything other then simply break trust? Would it cause issues mentally for the submissive? What about her job, would doing something like shaving her head cause her to have issues at work?




TheKingofHell -> RE: Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned? (1/16/2012 12:56:09 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance

Well OP, they are interesting, however, you must consider a lot of things.

First, why did they fall asleep? Are your expectations  on them completely unreasonable? Are you asking someone who works 80 hours a week between their normal life, to stay up for 2 hours to listen to you speak? Are you being honest with their capabilities?

Second, What would these punishments gain you, the effect of punishment i assume is to change a behavior, what behavior would this change? Would it do anything other then simply break trust? Would it cause issues mentally for the submissive? What about her job, would doing something like shaving her head cause her to have issues at work?



Well the coffin idea was for if they fell asleep on me after like the first five minutes you know your enjoying a good foot rub or massage and then out of the blue it's like "Are you kidding me?"



SpiritedRadiance -> RE: Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned? (1/16/2012 1:01:18 AM)

Again you have to ask yourself why they fell asleep, if i were the submissive in question it would be because if i sit down in one place for more then 5 minutes these days i end up falling asleep regardless of what others would be doing for me...

I dont think your "punishments" would garner the effective results that your seeking,

I think instead they might generate some interesting scenes with someone once a long term relationship was established in the form of a mind fuck.

But to change the behavior such as falling asleep on you, you might only succeed in that person never trusting to close their eyes around you which wouldnt be what you wanted.

Also kindness, and understanding go a lot further then scary punishments ever will.



fadedshadow -> RE: Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned? (1/16/2012 1:07:57 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance

Again you have to ask yourself why they fell asleep, if i were the submissive in question it would be because if i sit down in one place for more then 5 minutes these days i end up falling asleep regardless of what others would be doing for me...

I dont think your "punishments" would garner the effective results that your seeking,

I think instead they might generate some interesting scenes with someone once a long term relationship was established in the form of a mind fuck.

But to change the behavior such as falling asleep on you, you might only succeed in that person never trusting to close their eyes around you which wouldnt be what you wanted.

Also kindness, and understanding go a lot further then scary punishments ever will.



this ^



littlewonder -> RE: Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned? (1/16/2012 1:39:11 AM)

you know there have been a few times where I've either almost or have fallen asleep with Master. It had nothing to do with me being bored. It had everything to do with the fact that I simply was tired for numerous reasons. Instead of punishing me though he allows me to sleep because he understands why it happened because we talk allll the time and he actually wants me to sleep.

I'm not narcissistic so that other idea you had would be null. But if someone has that disorder, what you suggested would probably cause them some deep therapy issues that will not be resolved by you. Your idea would cause them to freak out and not in a good way.

So here's my big suggestions for you...first, get yourself a girl and get to know her as a person.Then talk, talk, talk, and then talk some more.

What may work for one person won't for another and it sounds like you're coming up with thoughts before even having someone in your life which is never good.




Focus50 -> RE: Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned? (1/16/2012 1:46:55 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: TheKingofHell

Okay I was contemplating a possible punishment for a subslave particularly when they fall asleep on me whe they are not suppose to. The idea I had is that if they are so brazen as to fall asleep on me. They wake up in a locked coffin that I have stashed somewhere. This is for two reason one to make sure they never fall asleep on me again and two to have a good laugh as they start freaking out. I of course let them out after a few minutes or hours.

My second idea is when dealing with a very narcissisitic sub/slave that wont stop looking at them selves in the mirror and thus gets distracted from their tasks make them where a mask(for fixed period of time like a few hours in the day) or shave their head or both. Mind you I am new at this and I haven't decided to use these I as I fear the
potential repricussions.


If my girl were to fall asleep on me at inopportune times, I'd be finding out why she's not sleeping or whether she now needs more sleep than times past. Just not convinced that falling asleep quite rates as an overt act of defiance or disobedience.... <shrugs>

Hmmm, I like my girl to have long hair, so I don't think I'd wanna wait however many years it takes to grow back properly again after shaving it. And what's the biggy if she likes what she sees in the mirror? Does it mean she's not looking at you when she's sposta ('cause I'd make that one sting). Otherwise, I'd deal with the tasks that she's distracted from and generally make it my business that she focuses on me, *first*.

If you spend more time leading, you'll likely spend less time reacting. I've got the feeling she's not feeling the leadership and will likely do better with you in charge. Batter up!

Focus.



BikerDomRealTime -> RE: Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned? (1/16/2012 3:26:37 AM)

Like many people have already said before punishing your girl you need to find out the cause. My girl works long hours at an odd shift. She does her best to stay awake when we are together, but sometimes the need to sleep is over powering. She has fallen asleep on me several times, in my arms which is really nice, and while waiting for me to call.



xxblushesxx -> RE: Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned? (1/16/2012 3:30:25 AM)

Well, if someone did that to me, I'd make sure the coffin was put to good use.
Just sayin'...



sheisreeds -> RE: Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned? (1/16/2012 5:17:44 AM)

I'm just trying to imagine the logistics of carrying a sleeping submissive to the coffin and getting her in without waking her up.

The thought amuses me.



xxblushesxx -> RE: Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned? (1/16/2012 5:21:53 AM)

Yes, I have the feeling we're having our leg pulled by the OP. Not the first time he's done it.



DarkSteven -> RE: Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned? (1/16/2012 6:04:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheKingofHell

Well the coffin idea was for if they fell asleep on me after like the first five minutes you know your enjoying a good foot rub or massage and then out of the blue it's like "Are you kidding me?"


First off, if you have an extra coffin around your place, that's... a little odd.

Second, if she falls asleep while giving you a back massage or foot rub, why?  Was she dead tired?  Were you talking to her and boring her?  Does she have medical issues?

Third, you do not understand the idea of how punishment should work, and I advise you to not do it (many D/s couples do not incorporate punishment).

There are very few things I will punish for.  They include such things as outright disobedience without giving a valid reason, or hiding something important from me.

The first step is to explain to her what it is she did.  If she then gives me a valid reason, I will admonish her to communicate better in future.  If she doesn't, I will then give her a punishment that will last several minutes to maybe five minutes.  Then I will forgive her.  At that point, the punishment is over unless she repeats the behavior.

Your example of the coffin will freak your sub out when she wakes, and it will stir God only knows what emotions.  She will be afraid to spend any time around you when she's tired out.  It will also create a condition where you are not in control of what happens to her when she wakes, and she will subconsciously remember that she was terrified and you were not there for her, which is NOT the memory you want for her.  In a good punishment, she would be aware what she did, why you are punishing her, and that you are in control and love her.  She will get none of this until she is released, at which point the punishment is over.

Shaving her head will affect her entire life.  People will want to know if she has cancer.  As SR said, it will affect her work.  Every time she gets a stupid question or a pitying look, she will think of you and get pissed.

I agree with SR that you are likely interested in mind fucks and are for some odd reason trying to fuse consensual mind fucks with a punishment scenario.



Wantstocontrolu -> RE: Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned? (1/16/2012 7:09:06 AM)

First thing: I think you need to find a local mentor from a local munch. Some questions are good when posted to the world but we ALL have differing opinions. I agree you need to determine "Why" first.
Its good that you are asking though.



mnottertail -> RE: Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned? (1/16/2012 7:31:01 AM)

Do you know what even a cheap coffin costs nowadays?

It is probably in the realm of fantasy, unless you are independantly wealthy.



hlen5 -> RE: Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned? (1/16/2012 7:35:55 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Do you know what even a cheap coffin costs nowadays?

It is probably in the realm of fantasy, unless you are independantly wealthy.


or if the OP is a carpenter (Not that I think the OP is serious).



mnottertail -> RE: Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned? (1/16/2012 7:37:17 AM)

If I were a carpenter,
and you were a sleepyhead,
would you fantasize anyway?
would you lay in my coffin?




xxblushesxx -> RE: Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned? (1/16/2012 7:40:27 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Do you know what even a cheap coffin costs nowadays?

It is probably in the realm of fantasy, unless you are independantly wealthy.


Got $500.00? http://www.louisvillecaskets.com/?gclid=CKKQwZ_w1K0CFcac7QodujEdUQ



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