RE: Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned?

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TheKingofHell -> RE: Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned? (1/16/2012 3:01:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: leatherlaceglove I think that you should allow some to do it to you first....so that you truly understand what you are asking of them. True I will be honest these ideas are mostly inspired by my favorite movies and shows. Like in Reaper when Sam woke up in a coffin and said "HA! HA! HA! Very funny but I don't scare that easily!" then he starts screaming and the Devil opens up the coffin laughing saying "Well I guess it's a good thing you don't scare easily." and I got the idea of the mask from The Man in The Iron Mask. (I think I watch too much TV) But I am just starting out and that being said I don't want to make any mistakes.

GotSteel -> RE: Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned? (1/16/2012 3:05:04 PM)
What's a subslave? Do they also come in Dommeslave? P.S. Are you dating a narcoleptic?

searching4mysir -> RE: Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned? (1/16/2012 3:08:09 PM)
FR Punishments should fit the crime, which is why it is stupid to try to think shit up to punish people with before you even have a sub. Find a girl and INSPIRE her to obey you. Disobedience really has to be willful for it to truly be disobedience. It isn't disobedience if she is physically incapable of something. If you bore her so badly that she falls asleep on you when she really has had enough sleep, then isn't that YOUR fault? Will you take the punishment for that? Being the dominant is about taking responsibility for your part in stuff. Master and I don't really have a punishment dynamic. I love him and don't want to disobey him. We have open communication. If I feel incapable of doing something he tells me to, I talk to him about it, and usually we can find a way to work around it (as long as he isn't going after one of my hard limits, and he never has). Ultimately, unless you have casual play partners, this is about a relationship.

Epytropos -> RE: Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned? (1/16/2012 6:38:14 PM)
Seems like a troll, but what troll would go to the trouble of writing such a long profile?

angelikaJ -> RE: Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned? (1/16/2012 7:18:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TheKingofHell Okay I was contemplating a possible punishment for a subslave particularly when they fall asleep on me whe they are not suppose to. The idea I had is that if they are so brazen as to fall asleep on me. They wake up in a locked coffin that I have stashed somewhere. This is for two reason one to make sure they never fall asleep on me again and two to have a good laugh as they start freaking out. I of course let them out after a few minutes or hours. My second idea is when dealing with a very narcissisitic sub/slave that wont stop looking at them selves in the mirror and thus gets distracted from their tasks make them where a mask(for fixed period of time like a few hours in the day) or shave their head or both. Mind you I am new at this and I haven't decided to use these I as I fear the potential repricussions. ... Well the coffin idea was for if they fell asleep on me after like the first five minutes you know your enjoying a good foot rub or massage and then out of the blue it's like "Are you kidding me?" So the sub falls asleep after 5 minutes of rubbing your feet, or five minutes after you rubbing hers? I am guessing the first. You and your sub should have adequate communication so that she is telling you if she is tired. You might think about your behavior in this: Would you be giving her adequate feedback? Would you tell her if you see she is getting too relaxed that you want her to keep her eyes on you... and open? Would you be engaging her in some fashion? As for the second: a narcissistic sub: that is pretty easy: don't choose someone with that trait. Perhaps your real question should be: I see all these cool ideas in movies, how do I incorporate them into play or would they be best left to fantasize about when I am alone doin' my thing? And generally speaking the answer to that would be yes. There is nothing wrong with having imaginative ideas and using them, but some fantasies are just better left as that. It seems to me that you are new and don't really have a grasp on this whole D/s thing beyond a fantasy concept. Put your focus on becoming a good leader: someone s/he would want to follow.

DesFIP -> RE: Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned? (1/16/2012 8:11:35 PM)
You are dreaming up scenarios that excite you but would quickly lose you a submissive and garner you a reputation within your local community as an unsafe player. Is that what you want? More importantly, you're looking for excuses to do this, which is something that only an untrustworthy idiot would do, or a totally inexperienced very young person. I suggest you gain relationship skills before you start looking for someone to submit to you. And that you learn what it means when people negotiate what they're willing to do. Something like being locked in a coffin for hours isn't going to be on anyone's hard limit list because it never crossed their mind. The fact that it has crossed yours, and stayed there, means that to be considered an honest person instead of one who lies by omission, you need to bring this up and see if she's okay with it. And don't be surprised when she stands up in the coffee shop and leaves immediately.

AnimusRex -> RE: Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned? (1/16/2012 8:17:55 PM)
quote: I think I watch too much TV Perceptive statement.

hausboy -> RE: Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned? (1/16/2012 9:08:48 PM)
I can't believe I'm actually agreeing with Awareness...but well....I do on this one. OP/Newbie.... Let me try it a softer way. Put yourself in the shoes of your sub. You're exhausted....maybe you're bored....and you fall asleep. Then by some logistical miracle, you awake locked in a wooden box, which is likely to be pretty terrifying and traumatic--maybe you're even thinking, who is this stranger I've entrusted my life to? Oh my god it's like that scene from "Kill Bill" except how the hell do I punch my fist through this coffin lid? How long will it take to die? What are my parents going to think when they find out this is what happened to me? not good. Oh I could go on. Now... as that sub: what does this "punishment" actually tell you as a sub? What are you learning? If I woke up in a coffin, my first thought wouldn't be: oh shit, boy I'll think twice before falling asleep on my Dom. No, my first thoughts would likely be, "what the fuck is going on? What kind of sick fuck does this? If I ever get outta here I'm gonna kick his ass...then leave.." The head shaving? Really? Do you love, respect and cherish this sub? Do you even like her? I was judging a national leatherboy contest a few years back, and the boy's Domme shaved off his hair as a scene and sent him to the interviews wearing a towel to punish him. It definitely punished him--it cost him a lot of points so that he had no chance at the title, and we each gave him our thoughts on his Domme. (loser...lose her!) and that he might want to consider who else is out there for him. That all said.....let's say this was for "fun" and not truly meant to punish her. It's only fun if it's fun for both of you. If you're amused and she's pissed.....and you'll be alone soon. My suggestion is that you first read up on funishment vs. punishment. Then....put down the porn...turn off the television....and go get some BDSM books for beginners. You need them. You really do. Even though for some people it's just "play"....that doesn't mean you can't get hurt emotionally or physically.

xxblushesxx -> RE: Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned? (1/16/2012 9:35:53 PM)
The thing is...this guy started another thread the other day...let it go on for a couple of pages, got called on numerous things, and finally admitted he made the entire thing up. I'm thinking this guy is just bored.

hausboy -> RE: Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned? (1/16/2012 9:52:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx The thing is...this guy started another thread the other day...let it go on for a couple of pages, got called on numerous things, and finally admitted he made the entire thing up. I'm thinking this guy is just bored. he's off watching television.

TheKingofHell -> RE: Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned? (1/16/2012 9:54:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP You are dreaming up scenarios that excite you but would quickly lose you a submissive and garner you a reputation within your local community as an unsafe player. Is that what you want? More importantly, you're looking for excuses to do this, which is something that only an untrustworthy idiot would do, or a totally inexperienced very young person. I suggest you gain relationship skills before you start looking for someone to submit to you. And that you learn what it means when people negotiate what they're willing to do. Something like being locked in a coffin for hours isn't going to be on anyone's hard limit list because it never crossed their mind. The fact that it has crossed yours, and stayed there, means that to be considered an honest person instead of one who lies by omission, you need to bring this up and see if she's okay with it. And don't be surprised when she stands up in the coffee shop and leaves immediately. No it's not what I want I actually want to be well respected in my local community. However you are right I am young and inexperienced and I do need to gain relationship skills. To be honest I probably wouldn't have the gutts to even try something like that in real life because the moment I started looking at coffins/masks I'd be like "Wait a minute what the hell am I thinking?"

NuevaVida -> RE: Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned? (1/16/2012 11:08:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail If I were a carpenter, and you were a sleepyhead, would you fantasize anyway? would you lay in my coffin? [sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif] Thanks for the laugh, Ron! As to the rest...all I can say is "Ditto to what everyone else has said" and that he'd never see me again if he did that.

ResidentSadist -> RE: Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned? (1/16/2012 11:28:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TheKingofHell Okay I was contemplating a possible punishment for a subslave particularly when they fall asleep on me whe they are not suppose to. The idea I had is that if they are so brazen as to fall asleep on me. They wake up in a locked coffin that I have stashed somewhere. This is for two reason one to make sure they never fall asleep on me again and two to have a good laugh as they start freaking out. I of course let them out after a few minutes or hours. My second idea is when dealing with a very narcissisitic sub/slave that wont stop looking at them selves in the mirror and thus gets distracted from their tasks make them where a mask(for fixed period of time like a few hours in the day) or shave their head or both. Mind you I am new at this and I haven't decided to use these I as I fear the potential repricussions. I didn't read one reply because I know you got lambasted for making such a silly post. It is my nature, nah, it's my job to bring alt perspectives to these forums... so I am gonna' answer you with all my sincerity. First, think about what you are writing on the forums if you want to avoid looking like a fool. It is disrespectful to the reader to randomly post some silly, highly unfeasible thing, in the guise of a thread, just because you had a brief passing thought about it that gave you a woody. For example, I would propose that no slave would ever "wake up in a coffin" because you would be laying on the floor when she decked your silly ass. She would wake up long before you got her out of bed, lifted her up and got her into the coffin. She would wake up and see some dumbass BDSM fucker with a coffin next to him and presume you were a serial killer, then bonk your noggin with the nearest heavy object. If you can pull your hands out of your pants long enough, ask yourself if you can even afford $1,000 to $2,000 dollars for a coffin, where you would store when it when it wasn't stuffed with misbehaving slaves and how you would sneak it into a bedroom without waking someone sleeping. Second, any form of punishment is NOT punishment if someone doesn't know they are being punished, it is just an attack. They will presume you are just attacking them for some unsound reason, think you are mentally or emotionally unstable and dangerous . . . and again, you end up face down on the floor with a dent in your melon. Third, it is my sage advice that instead of posting dumb shit on the forums, you spend some time reading so you get a glimmer of what you are talking about. Fourth, think about not practicing you poorly conceived BDSM fantasies with a real person. I seriously think you will end up face down on the floor with a dent in your melon if try any of this stupid shit on a living soul.

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned? (1/16/2012 11:49:32 PM)
I can't even let myself imagine how horrible it would be to wake up in a coffin. I can pretty much guarantee that if some guy stuffed me in a coffin, he'd have to bury me in it, because it would very likely scare me to death. I get panicked and disoriented just waking up in the middle of the night in a dark room. Who the hell has coffins just lying around anyway? If you have a consistent problem of submissive women falling asleep on you, forget the coffin and study up on some current events or conversational topics. Seriously, a coffin? Good grief. Can you please give me all of your personal information, OP - just so I can assure myself that I'll never accidentally come across you without garlic, holy water and a huge beast of a bodyguard. Why has it never occurred to me to make coffins a hard limit - until now? I think I'm going to write it in, right under STAPLE GUNS??????

TheKingofHell -> RE: Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned? (1/16/2012 11:57:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Awareness Exactly. You allow the profiles of others to define your sense of reality. Do you even understand what it means to be dominant? That depends upon which deffinition you are referring to one is to have control over others, the other is to be prominent, and the last is be influencial.

Awareness -> RE: Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned? (1/17/2012 12:01:31 AM)
In other words, no. Figures.

TheKingofHell -> RE: Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned? (1/17/2012 12:07:30 AM)
I think I've overstayed my welcome here so I'm heading back down home for a bit.

BootyBoy -> RE: Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned? (1/17/2012 6:04:47 AM)
To TKH It may surprise you, but even punishment needs to be consensual and negotiated beforehand. If a person is even mildly claustrophobic, you are going to trigger some VERY severe reactions and trust issues. You can't just use a sub as some kind of open experiment for anything that comes into your head. As for narcissism, like how many mirrors do you have in your play area? Are you telling us that a sub literally can't get things done because she is constantly staring at herself? Or in honesty, is that a bit of an exaggeration? Shaving a sub's head seems like a dramatic punishment. Where would you go from there? If she continues looking at herself in mirrors will you cut her nose off next? But as others have said, things that effect a person's entire life (like a shaved head) definitely must be well thought out and consensual. Because when her 280 lb Linebacker brother finally wrings the details about why all her beautiful hair has been cut off, you may be facing some severe punishment of your own.

NuevaVida -> RE: Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned? (1/17/2012 6:58:42 AM)
~ Fast Reply ~ I was just thinking, it's posts like the OP's that cause people to come up with such bizarre "hard limit" lists, such as "Do not put me in a coffin while I am sleeping." I mean really - sometimes you just scratch your head. Now I get it. [8D]

OsideGirl -> RE: Am I too extreme where punishment is concerned? (1/17/2012 7:29:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hausboy Put yourself in the shoes of your sub. You're exhausted....maybe you're bored....and you fall asleep. Then by some logistical miracle, you awake locked in a wooden box, which is likely to be pretty terrifying and traumatic--maybe you're even thinking, who is this stranger I've entrusted my life to? Oh my god it's like that scene from "Kill Bill" except how the hell do I punch my fist through this coffin lid? How long will it take to die? What are my parents going to think when they find out this is what happened to me? not good. Oh I could go on. Now... as that sub: what does this "punishment" actually tell you as a sub? What are you learning? If I woke up in a coffin, my first thought wouldn't be: oh shit, boy I'll think twice before falling asleep on my Dom. No, my first thoughts would likely be, "what the fuck is going on? What kind of sick fuck does this? If I ever get outta here I'm gonna kick his ass...then leave.." Hausboy has nailed it. If someone did this to me, I'd likely be in therapy for awhile dealing with the after effects. It would go against his promise to me that he would not harm me.

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