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RE: Marriage and Weddings - 1/19/2012 12:42:41 PM   
fucktoyprincess


Posts: 2337
Status: offline 		Congrats and Best wishes.

Focus on making it meaningful for the both of you. The rest will fall into place. And if you are keeping it small with those who are close to you, they will all enjoy whatever you choose to do, so don't worry about that aspect of it.

From my friends and relatives there is zero correlation between the lavishness of a wedding and the quality of a marriage. I know simple weddings that ended in divorce and lavish ones that have lasted, and vice versa. I don't think there is any connection at all. People tend to spend what they can budget on a wedding. And some can budget less, some more (hey, that's life). I've been to simple ones that I've enjoyed, but lavish ones that I've enjoyed, too. Main thing is that the bride and groom are in the moment, and having fun. And if they are enjoying themselves, then I am, too, whether I'm drinking champagne or a beer :)

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RE: Marriage and Weddings - 1/19/2012 5:13:48 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		When I was married, I borrowed a white dress from my older sister and paid $25 to a justice of the peace. We had a free piece of cheesecake and non-alcoholic sparkly from a good friend who owned a coffeeshop we frequented.

The only big money we spent was on the wedding rings which we made monthly payments on until paid off 6 months later.

Imo you don't need much of anything. If Master and I were to ever marry it would be on a beach in Tahiti or BoraBora with no one except us and the minister. lol.



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RE: Marriage and Weddings - 1/19/2012 5:49:07 PM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline
FR

I grew up on Long Island and my mother was a well-known public relations administrator. I have absolutely no advice on how to keep it small or how to save money. --- I didn't have a dessert bar. I had a dessert room. And, by the way, I never even saw it. I hear it was beautiful, though. I'm sure it was worth every stinkin' penny.

My next wedding (hypothetically speaking) will be the two of us on a mountain and the only dessert will be the icing I lick off of my groom before we skinny dip in the lake.

Congratulations to you. No matter what, have fun in the planning. It's exciting!

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Marriage and Weddings - 1/19/2012 7:03:46 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		First things first! CONGRATS TO YOU AND YOUR BELOVED!!!

I love weddings. Hibbie is right, I used to be a bridal consultant for 4 years back in the day, and I learned a lot of cost-cutting ideas from my brides. I hope that I live up to Hibbie's expectations re: my wedding this summer. People can have a great time (as it was previously stated), no matter what it costs. For Geoff and me, having the people who are special to us, on our special day, was key.

I think you got a lot of great ideas from people here and you can also get lots more if you search online for weddings on a small budget. There are ways to make your special day look like you spent a small fortune, when you've actually just stretched a dollar. Since Geoff and I are paying for the wedding ourselves, we are watching expenses carefully, but we still want a pretty and memorable event.

First, figure out a budget you can work with realistically. Come up with your, "The most I can spend for everything included is $_____." Then divide that number into the various catagories (clothing, rings, food, music, marriage license, favors, flowers, cake, etc.).

Next, figure out what what you would like to have for each. If you want something really badly, then you can adjust your other expenses to accommodate your "must have."

For me, I want a really nice meal for my guests since we will be spending most of the time at the reception eating and socializing. When I was looking for a place for the reception, I sent emails to the various places I liked and said, "I'm having ___ guests and my food budget is $_____. Can you do a menu to fit this?" The restaurant I picked said yes, and sent me four menus to choose from. We are mixing a matching from those to give a good variety of the yummy food they serve. Another reason I went with a restaurant is because I don't want to task anyone with picking up or returning rental equipment, chairs, etc., setting up, and cleaning up. The restaurant is doing all of that and they also have linens to match the color scheme I'm using.

The other important detail for us was the location for the ceremony. We wanted a church wedding, with a pretty interior, and if it had some history to it, all the better. We are getting married in a church with lovely stained glass and a bell that will be rung after we are married. These little details are all part of its charm.

With these two items taking up the lion's share of the budget, the rest is being done with the help of some very resourceful people and their ideas. If you want to message me on the flip side, I'd be happy to brainstorm with you. I love Impy's suggestions and think that whatever you decide to do, it will be a really special day for everyone who attends your wedding.

Hugs,
Red :)

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RE: Marriage and Weddings - 1/19/2012 7:16:07 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		If you get married in a church, they usually have an attached hall that rents pretty cheap.

One of the nicest weddings I went to was just champagne and wedding cake. It was in the morning and that was a perfect midmorning bite. Simple, relaxed and elegant.


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RE: Marriage and Weddings - 1/19/2012 7:28:10 PM   
fucktoyprincess


Posts: 2337
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko
I had a dessert room


What the heck? A whole room filled with dessert?? A separate room where dessert was served and eaten??? Just trying to wrap my head around this one...

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RE: Marriage and Weddings - 1/19/2012 7:39:21 PM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fucktoyprincess


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko
I had a dessert room


What the heck? A whole room filled with dessert?? A separate room where dessert was served and eaten??? Just trying to wrap my head around this one...



Yes. A whole room filled with dessert. A separate room where dessert was served and eaten. Both. A banquet room hall, by the way, but I'm sure it was one of their smaller rooms. From what I hear it was spectacular. No one even snapped a picture for us.

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Marriage and Weddings - 1/19/2012 7:54:54 PM   
fucktoyprincess


Posts: 2337
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko
Yes. A whole room filled with dessert. A separate room where dessert was served and eaten. Both. A banquet room hall, by the way, but I'm sure it was one of their smaller rooms. From what I hear it was spectacular. No one even snapped a picture for us.


Okay, well I see why the next time round you want to take a different approach


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RE: Marriage and Weddings - 1/19/2012 7:59:42 PM   
Kaliko


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Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fucktoyprincess


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko
Yes. A whole room filled with dessert. A separate room where dessert was served and eaten. Both. A banquet room hall, by the way, but I'm sure it was one of their smaller rooms. From what I hear it was spectacular. No one even snapped a picture for us.


Okay, well I see why the next time round you want to take a different approach




ETA - never mind. I just made a downer comment on a happy and congratulations thread.

< Message edited by Kaliko -- 1/19/2012 8:00:25 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Marriage and Weddings - 1/19/2012 8:08:19 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I guess if I was to somehow have a wedding other than on a beach with just me and Master, I'd probably go with the traditional way that everyone in my family has always held weddings since as far back as I can remember.

It would be held at the church that most of my family has married at back in my hometown, most likely taking marriage classes as is required by the church. It would be simple flowers and creche decor on the end of the pews, no rice since the church doesn't allow it. The reception would then be held at the local firehall, all my family would make the food...usually  PA Dutch and traditional western PA fare, all served in buffet style, a local DJ that I graduated high school with (pretty much the one everyone hires back there these days), a liquor bar, most likely the men shooting off their guns at empty beercans in the back of the hall into the woods, couples making out behind the hall and people all drunk and tripping over themselves until the next morning, oh and the wedding dance with the bride wearing an apron and everyone has to put money in the apron to be able to dance with her which everyone will make sure you dance and donate even if you don't want to and listening to the chicken dance song allllll night long <groan>.

Yeah, hokey, corny, redneck....but I'm traditional lol.

Oh wait...and a few fist fights breaking out between family grudges, boyfriend stealing and stupid drunk stuff heh.

And then the next morning the bride and all the bridal group go over and clean the hall so we can get our deposit back.



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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Marriage and Weddings - 1/20/2012 4:02:20 AM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
The only big money we spent was on the wedding rings which we made monthly payments on until paid off 6 months later.


My brother saved a bit on those as his wife-to-be knew a friend in the jewellery trade who made them their rings how they wanted them to be... was an awesome idea from them, as they look lovely and were made just for them

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Marriage and Weddings - 1/20/2012 7:59:13 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		And don't forget to budget for PICTURES!!!!!!

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Marriage and Weddings - 1/20/2012 9:11:12 AM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline 		Thanks Red, seriously brilliant advice :)

Thanks everyone else who has contributed, you are awesome.


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RE: Marriage and Weddings - 1/20/2012 11:56:28 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		IF I can make it, I'll be happy to bring my camera. And take pics for free. I would advise getting Aneirin there too, he's way more experienced in photograhpy thanI am... but every now and then, I DO get awesome pics ;)


(I haven't managed to find the damned sword yet!!!)

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Marriage and Weddings - 1/20/2012 12:28:43 PM   
kitkat105


Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/29/2011
From: Eating dutch crunch in the Silicon Valley
Status: offline 		It's probably a good idea to figure out what you absolutely must have apart of your special day and what a lesser priorities and budget for them accordingly. What are your expectations as a couple of what your "dream" day would be like? Do you want the botanical gardens? Do you want the church wedding? What kind of photography? How many people in the bridal party? etc etc

The others in this thread of giving very good advice re: saving money and how to get the most for what money you can spend. Luckily, despite what the media says, you can have a beautiful wedding day without going all bridezilla

Congratulations and good luck. I'm a little jealous!


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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Marriage and Weddings - 1/20/2012 6:39:32 PM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline 		Thank you KitKat.

Greedy I actually don't know Aneirin very well at all, so would be a difficult thing to ask, The.Darkness is a wonderful photographer and I am planning on asking her and her man (shhh dont tell her)


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'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Marriage and Weddings - 1/23/2012 12:27:33 PM   
VirginPotty


Posts: 11624
Joined: 7/16/2008
From: Virginville
Status: offline 		Congratulations Lilly!
You could probably find a photographer on Craigslist (yes it's available across the pond too ) who could take pics for a reasonable price to build his/her portfolio.
Catering too but make sure you get sample tastes of everything on the menu!
You could go to a Justice of the Peace at the courthouse and have your guests take their own pics then have the reception at a firehouse.  Many here rent out large rooms in their station for such parties.

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Marriage and Weddings - 1/23/2012 12:29:25 PM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline 		Ohh thank you, will look into the photographer.

The second bit though,whats a firehouse?


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'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Marriage and Weddings - 1/23/2012 1:03:46 PM   
VirginPotty


Posts: 11624
Joined: 7/16/2008
From: Virginville
Status: offline 		Fire Department

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Marriage and Weddings - 1/23/2012 1:20:06 PM   
VirginPotty


Posts: 11624
Joined: 7/16/2008
From: Virginville
Status: offline 		The bldg. where the fire trucks reside  Not sure what you call it over there

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Profile   Post #: 40
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