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RE: Which would you prefer...? - 1/20/2012 10:24:20 AM

PatrickG38

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Nice, intelligent and thoughtful post.

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RE: Which would you prefer...? - 1/20/2012 9:40:54 PM

AnimusRex

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Perfect post in how it speaks to the secret fear that men have of being inadequate.

If he is in shape, he fears he will be judged as a success object, and found lacking.

If he is rich, he fears he will be judged as a sex object and found lacking.

My experience has been that women are attracted to men who project the confidence of wealth, with the compassion of simplicity, and demonstrate the discipline of taking care of themselves.

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RE: Which would you prefer...? - 1/20/2012 9:42:50 PM

NyxPontia

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex

Perfect post in how it speaks to the secret fear that men have of being inadequate.

If he is in shape, he fears he will be judged as a success object, and found lacking.

If he is rich, he fears he will be judged as a sex object and found lacking.

My experience has been that women are attracted to men who project the confidence of wealth, with the compassion of simplicity, and demonstrate the discipline of taking care of themselves.

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RE: Which would you prefer...? - 1/21/2012 8:53:30 AM

SimplyMichael

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There are two sides to the question, what is possible for SOMEONE and what are YOUR odds.

Being rich and thin is probably the best but there are plenty of rich good looking single guys who DON'T want to be single.

There is a well known poster on Collarmme who was fat, poor and living with his mom and he so captured the heart of one of the hottest woman on CM, she has yet to meet his equal. He would have probably kept her heart if he had more money or at least an actual career.

Some people choose partners who are NOT attractive because they feel safer or because those partners tend to be more attentive. Some people DO chose those with money/looks/fame. Some women WANT a "big guy" because they feel safer or want to feel small and contained in his arms. There is no "one way" to ALL women's hearts.

The REALITY is if you want better partners, look deep at what you can change, accept the things you cannot AND then NEVER treat anyone as a priority who thinks of you as an OPTION.

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RE: Which would you prefer...? - 1/21/2012 9:28:58 AM

LaTigresse

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Yanno I've got to say that the OP is really an insult to the submissive women it was geared towards.

Where I work, there is a client who is significantly overweight. Certainly, he probably makes a bit more than 45K but here, that really isn't considered wealthy, just middle class. He works hard. He takes damned good care of the guys that work for him. In the years I've visited with him, I've gotten to know a really remarkable man. The way he feels about so many things, his love of family and friends. The genuine, selfless devotion and love that shines through in the conversations we have, is beautiful. Because of his weight, even though he isn't old, he is already experiencing some health issues. Even though I personally view taking care of self, having self control, as being vital to self mastery and therefor mastering others......I know that ANYone that gave themself over to the care of this man would be well cared for. He really is a remarkable man and someone I have come to admire and respect.

It is probable that this man will not live as long as the many people that love him would like. However, the number of people that have been positively impacted by him, and his time on this planet, will most definitely be HUGE.

I cannot imagine a woman not feeling honoured to share their life with a man such as him.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 1/21/2012 9:33:30 AM >

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RE: Which would you prefer...? - 1/21/2012 10:02:42 AM

SimplyMichael

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Even though I personally view taking care of self, having self control, as being vital to self mastery and therefor mastering others

He just asked a question and he is insulting but your opinion isnt?

People like what they like, its a fools errand to argue.

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RE: Which would you prefer...? - 1/21/2012 10:10:25 AM

LaTigresse

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I am not making an assumption that all women would be attracted to only one of two options. He is. He is insulting women by assuming they either prefer a poor muscle man or a wealthy slob with a nice pad. And yes, it is insulting to these women. I think they are much more complex and dimensional.

My opinion is presented as ONLY MY OPINION, as in, it is a standard I hold for myself. I am not assuming my standards are anyone elses.

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RE: Which would you prefer...? - 1/21/2012 10:54:24 AM

Ninebelowzero

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Well I earn well over that amount, have a big crash pad & am skint as hell, cos I have the big apartment. The only reason I'm not a fat bastard is because I can't afford the bar bill like in days of yore. It's a bullshit analogy

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RE: Which would you prefer...? - 1/21/2012 11:11:48 AM

Kaliko

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quote:

ORIGINAL: graceadieu

Oh, no, only $45k! The horror!

Yeah, I'm still trying to wrap my head around how making $45k is supposed to be a turnoff.

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RE: Which would you prefer...? - 1/21/2012 11:19:36 AM

tazzygirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SlaveMasterK333

Question for female subs/slaves:

Which would you prefer?

1) A Master that is in excellent shape physically but is poor (earns less than $45,000/yr and lives in small shoddy dwelling)
or
2) A Master that is extremely overweight but wealthy (income > $200,000/yr and lives in the house of your dreams - whatever that maybe)

Master K

3) A Master who gives a damn, who takes the time to find out what makes me tick and learns my mind better than I know it myself.

#3 please... any and every day of the week.

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RE: Which would you prefer...? - 1/21/2012 11:42:03 AM

SimplyMichael

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I saw it simply ad a guy laying out two possibilities, not anything nefarious.

Anyway, back to the op, $45k is not a lot of money in some areas, In san franciso, min wage is $20k a year and one bedroom apartments are $1500+ a month, houses in the bay area are $600k.

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RE: Which would you prefer...? - 1/21/2012 11:44:10 AM

peppermint

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It will be a cold day in hell when the criteria I use for a partner is income and body fat. I perfer to base my choice on other criteria such as personality, how he treats people, and sense of humor.

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RE: Which would you prefer...? - 1/21/2012 11:44:17 AM

Ninebelowzero

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Thank fuck I'm a country boy.

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RE: Which would you prefer...? - 1/21/2012 11:48:14 AM

Baroana

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Now, why would the OP's question possibly be insulting to women? Everyone knows that women want two things in a guy: looks and money. All the OP is doing here is conducting some legitimate research to determine the order of importance.

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RE: Which would you prefer...? - 1/21/2012 11:51:55 AM

littlewonder

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The reason I chose the first one is because I have my own money so I don't rely on the money of another so how much someone makes no difference to me at all as long as he can support himself no matter what he makes.

So the first thing I notice about someone I meet is their looks. I'm not attracted to big guys so if they are overweight, sorry but I'm not going to give him a second look no matter what his personality might be.

Now once I find someone physically attractive, he has to have the same morals and values than myself and a personality to match mine. His looks alone won't hook me but they're the very first thing I see that will make me want to get to know him more.

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RE: Which would you prefer...? - 1/21/2012 11:53:51 AM

NumeroDos

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What she said ^

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RE: Which would you prefer...? - 1/21/2012 12:13:02 PM

tazzygirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroana

Now, why would the OP's question possibly be insulting to women? Everyone knows that women want two things in a guy: looks and money. All the OP is doing here is conducting some legitimate research to determine the order of importance.

Oh wow. Thank you for presuming to know what I want in a man!

How comforting it is that another woman gets to decide for me.

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Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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RE: Which would you prefer...? - 1/21/2012 12:32:34 PM

fragilepieces

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Wow tough decision---I make less than 45 grand live in a small shoddy apartment and I am NOT in shape----if I were a Dom, shit I would not even be one of the choices.

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RE: Which would you prefer...? - 1/21/2012 1:24:13 PM

Kaliko

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

I saw it simply ad a guy laying out two possibilities, not anything nefarious.

Anyway, back to the op, $45k is not a lot of money in some areas, In san franciso, min wage is $20k a year and one bedroom apartments are $1500+ a month, houses in the bay area are $600k.

I think the way I'm reading it (and perhaps it isn't the way it was intended) is that if someone is "poor," making less than $45k a year, then that is something to be considered a fault.

I can't see how anyone's salary...ever....is a fault. As long as it's honest work. And, if it's something they love and makes them happy, then I will admire them all the more for living in a smaller home and foregoing some of the more material things in life.

So, true, it is not a lot of money in a place like San Francisco. If that means that he must share an apartment or rent only a room to live in, but wakes up to his dream every day? That's the man I would choose to be with.

ETA - LOL - or perhaps I'm guilty of a bit of idealizing.

< Message edited by Kaliko -- 1/21/2012 1:30:43 PM >

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RE: Which would you prefer...? - 1/21/2012 6:50:00 PM

AnimusRex

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quote:

There is a well known poster on Collarmme who was fat, poor and living with his mom and he so captured the heart of one of the hottest woman on CM, she has yet to meet his equal. He would have probably kept her heart if he had more money or at least an actual career.

Sorry to hear it didn't work out for you. More fish in the sea, and all that.

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