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tiggerspoohbear -> RE: Morals and values (1/28/2012 9:43:40 PM)
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~FR~
I've been the cheatee and the cheater, although this was many years ago. I decided, at the age of 25 that I would no longer be involved with someone if there was cheating involved, and that I would no longer cheat. That was 24 yrs ago and I still stick to it. But I've also been lied to and only told later that *oops* I'm married but I didn't want to tell you because I knew you wouldn't go out with me. I can say that those relationships ended right then and there. It had nothing to do with BDSM or D/s, I didn't enter into that until I was 41. When I was told I was most likely submissive, did a lot of research on my own and indeed, I was. What I consider myself to be is a submissive with a slave's heart.
I give my all into a relationship, my trust being the most important to me. I expect the same back along with loyalty, honesty, integrity. If I can't have that then how can I trust that I'm safe in the hands of the Dom I entrust my entire being to?
I'm tired of the lies told by men (and yes, I know women do the same) that they're separated and then find out well, it's not official yet. I still live in the same house. O yeah, we share the same bed. Well, no she doesn't know, she wouldn't understand. Same bed, but she's a cold fish and wants nothing to do with sex. Yadda, yadda, yadda. I want a man who's going to be as honest with me as I am with him. One who'll trust that I'll be loyal (read monogamous) as I trust he'll be with me.
I don't really care what others do, and it's none of their business what goes on in my bedroom or with the man who'll be my partner. But I won't be a party to someone who can't be honest with his original partner. It's just not who I am. Because if he can't be honest with her, then I can't trust him to be honest with me. Even is given the okay by her, it's still wrong to me, but that's JMHO. Would she wonder where he is on the nights he doesn't come home from work? Would it turn her into a wreck knowing he's out with me? Just because she says okay doesn't mean she agrees with it. She just may want to keep the marriage intact for whatever her reasons are. I've been there, I've agreed to it, I know what happened to my self-esteem. I won't do it to another woman.
Women are pitted against women, and it should be the opposite. We should respect ourselves as females and be on the same page, not letting some man come between us, at any time. It's happened over all the years since Lawd knows when. We're supposed to be a more educated society yet we seem to have regressed. I don't have the answers, I wish I did. But then no one has all the answers, just a lot of questions that we muddle through in our day to day lives. We love, laugh, live, some of us have children, at the end, well, we all pass on. And we do the best in the middle to live our lives to the best of our abilities.
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