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RE: Orgasm on Demand - 6/1/2006 4:30:20 PM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
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I think orgasm on demand can be a fine thing to train a submissive to do, though I have to admit to some difficulty picturing it being possible for a male. Oh well, I have to admit that would be something I would love to see sometime and see if it is played differently.

Getting back to the topic, I think it is one more way of gaining control. Like everything else I do to gain control of someone in the initial phases of submitting to me though, I don't like to overdo it. As a matter of fact, I find that in most things in my D/s world, control is more effective when it is not overdone. The thing I always try to stress is that this control is to last as long as she is submissive to me...that like everything else I command her to do, the submissive response to this command is to me as the dominant and that becoming so "submissive" to the command that responding to the command itself from any dominant sort of cheapens the interplay between myself and my submissive and reflects a submission to the command rather than to the dominant.

(in reply to genvieve)

Post #: 21

RE: Orgasm on Demand - 6/1/2006 4:32:29 PM

genvieve

Posts: 228
Joined: 5/14/2005
From: SF Bay Area
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-nods softly and points to CreativeDominant's post-

What He said.

Gawd, it's one of those days. -snort-

_____________________________

In the quietness of myself, i find myself at the mercy of Your hand.

Musical Wishes Design

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

Post #: 22

RE: Orgasm on Demand - 6/1/2006 5:20:34 PM

twicehappy

Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: becca333

What happens if you can't do it? If you hit subspace, you don't get the big O (although subspace is pretty amazing too).

I believe most can orgasm without reaching subspace. If it does not happen when you are allowed or told to you either have not or cannot reach the point where this is possible. It takes long patient training and even then some may never reach that point.

quote:

For me, it's one of those things that's less likely the more you try for it

Has anyone attempted to train you that way? Are you multi orgasmic(this helps). Often if you are trying nothing happens, this is true for both sexes.

Personally for me it does not involve trying at all but letting go. Reaching orgasm for me is effortless, it is controlling them that took training for me. Without control on my and the dominants part i can and would come umtil i am totally limp and useless.

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to becca333)

Post #: 23

RE: Orgasm on Demand - 6/1/2006 5:28:19 PM

tade

Posts: 663
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Tampa Bay, Florida
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy

Without control on my and the dominants part i can and would come umtil i am totally limp and useless.

Looking for the downside on that one...
(And before LA posts a link to a previous post about the downside of orgasming until limp and useless, that was a joke)

_____________________________

I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.
Hunter S. Thompson

It's a magical world Hobbes 'ole buddy. Let's go explorin'~ Calvin

(in reply to twicehappy)

Post #: 24

RE: Orgasm on Demand - 6/1/2006 5:29:43 PM

Brosco

Posts: 238
Joined: 5/29/2006
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twicehappy:

quote:

Try not to take it personally; it is what we are here for after all.

Don't worry, I'm not taking it personally. There is little point in a thread if there isn't different views. We are all different and have tastes that may be 'not for me' to others, but when someone tries to minimise, trivialise or belittle the tastes of another it usually shows they are ignorant of the topic being discussed.

silent:

quote:

When the sub always have to come on command…. Could it be that she’s gonna to fake one???

For myself, Orgasm Control is not 'always' about cumming on command, it is just one part of it. And no, in a honest and trusting relationship there would be no need for a sub to fake it - just as there is no need for a sub to fake pain when her Dom is doing little more than tickling her with a flogger.

Proprietrix:

quote:

I kind of chalked it up to shy exhibitionists that enjoyed role-playing, and then I went to watch the needle play thinking "whatever floats your boat."

And I would walk away from the needle play thinking exactly the same.

Proprietrix:

quote:

I'm more into other aspects of control than bedroom topping. I'm looking for surrender of control of one's mind, heart, soul, and spirit. Not their genitals.

I agree with you whole heartedly. To achieve orgasm control definitely needs the surrender of control of one's mind, heart. soul and spirit.

becca:

quote:

What happens if you can't do it? If you hit subspace, you don't get the big O (although subspace is pretty amazing too).

For me, it's one of those things that's less likely the more you try for it.

An excellent analogy. subspace is not achieved thru trying to make it happen - it must just be allowed to happen. Same thing with cum-on-demand, the sub doesn't try to make it happen, she just must open her mind and allow it to happen.

MistressMelissa:

quote:

Trick or a tool, call it what you will, its just one more item to put in my "bag of tricks". Personally I find it a great way to shut her up when she wants to talk to much

Yes, you are right that its just one more item in the bag of tricks, but for me its a rather large item that is supported by many other items. And yes, it a great way of reminding who is in control when a sub starts getting fiesty to see how far she can push you.

MistressMelissa:

quote:

..... should have been more careful picking my trigger word

I don't use a trigger word, just the stock standard 'cum for me now'. While a trigger word like, say, watermelom, could work, it just sounds rediculous with the many variations that can be used with o-control.
For example,
Have one big watermelom for me now
Have a small watermelom for me now
Watermelon for me now and dont stop watermeloning until I tell you
Have lots of big matermelons now
Stop that watermelom (seconds after it has started)

uuummmmm trigger words for so many variations just don't seem to cut it for me :)

genveive:

quote:

Orgasm on command can be a wonderful thing. What can be difficult is in the following senario:

-sub is with Master.
-Master trains sub to orgasm only on command.
-sub and Master break things off on poor terms.
-sub still can't cum without command

I agree that could be a problem for some, but in my experience it has never been an issue. To achieve o-control takes the giving up of control, and with a breakup that control is taken back. With any breakup there is usually a period of loss of interest and lack of libido, it is not the o-control training that took this away. A sub that had become accustomed to cumming after or during any bdsm play would suffer the same for a period.

Brosco

_____________________________

Any Dom that believes he is in complete control ... has a very clever subbie.

(in reply to genvieve)

Post #: 25

RE: Orgasm on Demand - 6/1/2006 5:44:45 PM

Brosco

Posts: 238
Joined: 5/29/2006
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I agree with all you have said twicehappy, but with one change:

quote:

Has anyone attempted to train you that way? Are you multi orgasmic(this helps).

In my experience o-control training has turned single orgasm sorta people into multi-orgasmic. I agree with you that once this has been achieved it is possible for non-stop Os to continue until the Dom commands them to stop (or the sub taking back the control).

Brosco

_____________________________

Any Dom that believes he is in complete control ... has a very clever subbie.

(in reply to Brosco)

Post #: 26

RE: Orgasm on Demand - 6/1/2006 6:10:02 PM

enigmabrat

Posts: 2383
Joined: 8/1/2004
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Hmm as for cumming on command

I personaly feel it is imposable... guys if us girls could do that we wouldnt need you!

_____________________________

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Wooden paddle $50.00 on Master card
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a Master that can use them all Priceless

(in reply to genvieve)

Post #: 27

RE: Orgasm on Demand - 6/1/2006 6:54:44 PM

Brosco

Posts: 238
Joined: 5/29/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: enigmabrat

Hmm as for cumming on command

I personaly feel it is imposable... guys if us girls could do that we wouldnt need you!

lol .... if taken just from a clinical opinion, except for our short involvement in making a baby, you don't need us anyways. :)

But let me assure you it is possible as others in this thread have also testified, and not only that, you can achieve far more intense Os than you have ever experienced before. And you do need us or a Domme, because another having control over your mind and body through words alone is part of what adds to the intesity.

Brosco

_____________________________

Any Dom that believes he is in complete control ... has a very clever subbie.

(in reply to enigmabrat)

Post #: 28

RE: Orgasm on Demand - 6/1/2006 6:59:05 PM

enigmabrat

Posts: 2383
Joined: 8/1/2004
Status: offline

hmmm

personaly i need stimulation

_____________________________

Leather strap $85.00 on Master card
Wooden paddle $50.00 on Master card
ratten cane $48.00 on Master card

a Master that can use them all Priceless

(in reply to Brosco)

Post #: 29

RE: Orgasm on Demand - 6/1/2006 7:00:02 PM

NastyDaddy

Posts: 957
Joined: 9/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Brosco
I don't use a trigger word, just the stock standard 'cum for me now'. While a trigger word like, say, watermelom, could work, it just sounds rediculous with the many variations that can be used with o-control.
For example,
Have one big watermelom for me now
Have a small watermelom for me now
Watermelon for me now and dont stop watermeloning until I tell you
Have lots of big matermelons now
Stop that watermelom (seconds after it has started)

uuummmmm trigger words for so many variations just don't seem to cut it for me :)

umm... I kinda liked the watermelon trigger better... your's still sounds weird in some variations and certainly can't be use in nilla circumstances without raising a few eyebrows.

For example,
Have one big 'cum for me now'
Have a small 'cum for me now'
'Cum for me now' and dont stop 'cum for me now'ing until I tell you
Have lots of big 'cum for me now's now
Stop that 'cum for me now' (seconds after it has started)
I just....... I just.........I........just.......... oh hell man, 'cum for me now' just don't have the sing... watermelon sounds kinkier!

Are you multi-watermelonish?

'Watermelon on Demand' is kinda catchy, sounds really def kinky too...

We can replace the big O with the big W... bust a watermelon seed!

While I really do want my watermelon, I also feel drawn to honeydews and cantalopes... and the occaisional citrin.

Know what farm boys do with hot watermelons baking in the sun? Their old rusty Barlow's come in real handy, lol!

Watermelon futures will surely be on a steep rise after this thread and we should all buy-in with every spare thou.

(in reply to Brosco)

Post #: 30

RE: Orgasm on Demand - 6/1/2006 7:03:57 PM

Brosco

Posts: 238
Joined: 5/29/2006
Status: offline

LMAO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ooohhhhhh and btw, Big W is a large supermarket chain here - I can just see the aisles now packed with subbies moaning and groaning and barely able to stand :)

< Message edited by Brosco -- 6/1/2006 7:09:48 PM >

_____________________________

Any Dom that believes he is in complete control ... has a very clever subbie.

(in reply to NastyDaddy)

Post #: 31

RE: Orgasm on Demand - 6/1/2006 7:19:21 PM

jezabelKH

Posts: 663
Joined: 5/21/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Brosco

Ok, still a newbie here but time I started a thread about my favourite topic. My kink is Orgasm, tease, denial and control. I enjoy many other activities that are generally recognised and used in D/s, but for me, unless they add to the struggle and therefore my control, they aren't particularly important.

Do others share my kink and want to discuss this further?

Brosco

Master Ken uses mental images that are embeded in my mind with a release word, i can not cum until i hear that word, and then watch out!

jezabel{KH}
just simply a slave
Property Of Master Ken

(in reply to Brosco)

Post #: 32

RE: Orgasm on Demand - 6/1/2006 7:23:50 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

But let me assure you it is possible as others in this thread have also testified, and not only that, you can achieve far more intense Os than you have ever experienced before. And you do need us or a Domme, because another having control over your mind and body through words alone is part of what adds to the intesity.

Just one of those things I'll have to see to believe. After almost 24 years r/t and over 100 public/private parties at places like APEX, HOD and PE, I've yet to see it. Cyber testimonials just aren't quite enough to convince me.

Celeste

edited for typo

< Message edited by BitaTruble -- 6/1/2006 7:26:09 PM >

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to Brosco)

Post #: 33

RE: Orgasm on Demand - 6/1/2006 7:34:49 PM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

Ok I am so with Proprietrix--well not all the way <smiles>--but I so don't get it---these events where Doms snap their fingers and subs start writhing on command---I'm sorry but it looks like a damn parlor trick to Me---I'm not saying some women can't be sensitive--but I'm saying "some"---cuz most need some physical stimulation----

_____________________________

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Mistress Hathor

(in reply to Proprietrix)

Post #: 34

RE: Orgasm on Demand - 6/1/2006 7:55:06 PM

Emperor1956

Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
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(with apologies and thanks for the inspiration, NastyDaddy)

There are a number of new drugs out for men that help overcome WD -- Watermelon Dysfunction.

Wiagra is the most common, but there is also Ceed-alis and some others.

The mass marketing of these drugs has revolutionized the way men and women talk about Watermelon Dysfunction, and also give rise to some pretty interesting slogans:

"Wiagra -- get back in the fruit!"
"When you need to be melonballin', think of Wiagra."

These ads often show prominent older sports or political figures - men - talking about their watermelon dysfunction and how the drugs have changed their lives. Bob Dole (who suprisingly didn't lend his name to Pineapple Dysfunction although it seemed a natural tie-in) began this trend with a wildly successful ad campaign that featured the virile ex-war hero and Vice President talking about his watermelon needs, and whirling his wife Libby on a dance floor covered with melon balls. The metaphor of ballin' the jack was clear to millions of viewers.

E.

< Message edited by Emperor1956 -- 6/1/2006 7:56:21 PM >

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to NastyDaddy)

Post #: 35

RE: Orgasm on Demand - 6/1/2006 7:57:22 PM

LadyRope

Posts: 64
Joined: 7/19/2005
Status: offline

I think,some people... live in another dimention.(fantasy sland)

(in reply to genvieve)

Post #: 36

RE: Orgasm on Demand - 6/1/2006 8:04:27 PM

Brosco

Posts: 238
Joined: 5/29/2006
Status: offline

Some may find this clip amusing - it is just a stage show and for entertainment, but I have no doubts in my mind about the power of hypnotism:

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/47462/hypnotizing_orgasm/

Cum-on-demand does not require hypnotism but there are some similarities in that it does require the mind to be open to suggestion. A hynotist does this by inducing a trance - a Dom does this by the building of trust.

Strangely I have seen very little written about cum-on-demand for males, when it is the males that go through (hands-free) wet dreams during puberty.

Also in my teens I had a very embarressing experience. I was sitting an end of year exam at school and when I opened the test paper I didn't understand a single thing. My mind went completely blank, I wasn't going to be able to answer a single question and I PANICKED! With the panic I came in my pants. Clearly in this situation I had no physical stimulation - not even a sexy thought in my mind - but I came. This one event was probably a major influence in forming my D/s tastes later in life.

There is no doubt that Orgasm control will not work for everyone, but I have found the biggest hurdle to overcome during any training is the mental block that 'it wont work for me - i need physical stimulation'. If the mental block cannot be removed it is very unlikely that anyone could open their mind to allow something to happen when they don't believe it can.

Brosco

_____________________________

Any Dom that believes he is in complete control ... has a very clever subbie.

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 37

RE: Orgasm on Demand - 6/1/2006 11:31:44 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I have been able to cum on command mainly because the person I was with waited until I was almost there before telling me to do it. I have a friend that it really is the only way she can get off, it is her thing... she needs to be told to do it in order to.

The thing about orgasm control in my mind is if it is a process or a goal. I am not goal oriented that way, and I am not likely to respond to someone that is.. it has to be a process, not a goal. If what is expected of me is that I may be able to describe what I am feeling, prolong, and ask permission ... well then I might be able to accomodate my dominant in this way... If it is a goal oriented endeavor where the lack of giving control over one of these processes disappoints my One and is deemed a failure, well lets just say I am not likely to be able to do ANY of it. It has to be a process that we both enjoy without any feeling of failure of not achieving the goal....

As far as the other comments, I think that we all experience things on different levels and through different eyes... You may not understand orgasm control, or think it is real, or whatever... that is your experience and it is valid to you. Other enjoy this kink and others put too much importance in it in my mind... But then again I am a process person, not a goal person.... not just about orgasm control, but about my relationships period.

On Edit: I define orgasm control as not this mythical thing where someone tells me to "O" and I am screaming to the top of my lungs with no other stimulation... I do not know if it exists. I think of it as someone telling you not to cum, telling you to hold back an orgasm, or telling you to orgasm.

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 6/1/2006 11:44:51 PM >

_____________________________

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(in reply to Brosco)

Post #: 38

RE: Orgasm on Demand - 6/2/2006 4:01:20 AM

twicehappy

Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: enigmabrat

Hmm as for cumming on command
I personaly feel it is imposable... guys if us girls could do that we wouldnt need you!

personaly i need stimulation

As i note that Brosco did address this i am only reaffirming his statement; you do need the Dom/Domme to do this. They provide the training, they provide the focus and the trigger, their ownership and control of you and the heat of your love, passion and submission to them provides the arousal.

If this has not been tried with you at this point you do not yet know if with the correct Master and training this would be possible for you or not. I see by your profile you are 22 years old, and by your own admission in your journal;

"My heart has been poisend but my verginity untouched"

It would seem to me before you can state unequivocally that you must have psychical contact to reach orgasm you must first experience more by way of sexual experimentation, at least in the bdsm arena.

I am 44 and was collared for the first time at the age of thirteen, i think i can safely say i have some experience in the lifestyle, yet i still learn new things.

Celeste, you are quite as familiar with my owners(ScooterTrash and ShiftedJewel) as they are you; ask either whether or not this is possible with me, bearing in mind that there is a great deal of, hmmm..., physical evidence that i could not fake.

< Message edited by twicehappy -- 6/2/2006 4:16:13 AM >

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to enigmabrat)

Post #: 39

RE: Orgasm on Demand - 6/2/2006 5:42:32 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
I have been able to cum on command mainly because the person I was with waited until I was almost there before telling me to do it. I have a friend that it really is the only way she can get off, it is her thing... she needs to be told to do it in order to.

I think there's a big difference between "delayed orgasm" or "pushing yourself to nearly orgasm and holding off to a certain point" and "orgasm on command" which is "absolutely no physical stimulation or mental build-up whatsoever spontaneous orgasm based on anothers command"

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 40

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