Focus50
Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BeautifullyBrokn
For me, BDSM lifestyle is not just about sex. So many times I see or hear about this lifestyle being all about the sex. Having a Dom and submissive relationship requires a lot of things. Patience, trust, time, care, love, honesty, learning, teaching, finding likes/dislikes. I don't like seeing people who are just like 'Looking for a Dom/sub relationship, sex, sex and sex.' 'Hey lets cam together so you can show me everything, then I'm going to forget about you.' 'Wanna hook up this weekend?'
Most people look at the BDSM lifestyle as just a kinkier sex. Bondage, maybe some spanks here or there then lots of sex. It's sad when that is the first thing people think of when told about the BDSM lifestyle and having a Dom/sub.
No, a Dom/Domme is a protector, mentor, parent-like, therapist, teacher. They care about their sub, about their subs feelings, their day, their problems. Patience when teaching or learning about their sub. They take the sub past what they think they're capable of, and works with them to achieve greater things. They help the sub work through their insecurities, doubts, things that the sub wishes he/she could get over. They are, Master. Mistress. Dom. Domme. Daddy. Mommy. Sir. Miss.
It's a relationship, not a booty call.
Submissives accept their place in this relationship. The learner, the one who cares for the Dom/Domme, has trust in them, trust that the Dom/Domme will mold them the way they think is right and the way they want. They have faith the relationship works, struggle through things they didn't think they could get through and works through it, someone who works hard, works through the pain and someone who has patience to learn. Trust and patience is a really big key here for a submissive. They are putting their mind, body and soul into someones else's hands.
The submissive (possibly talking about the beginning and start of the relationship) shouldn't be waiting and anxious for the sex. The submissive should be anxious about the collar that he/she will be receiving from their Dom/Domme.
Receiving the collar. That's the greatest moment in a Dom/sub relationship. Not the sex. (even thought that's a nice part to it as well :P)
You B/both walk this journey together.
That's my opinion.. I guess I was frustrated enough to post about it. :P
In the vanilla world, there are those who can only express intimacy and their sexuality within the structure of a committed relationship and there are those who'll hump anything willing.
The bdsm lifestyle is exactly the same - 'cept with more props - and the opportunity for the unscrupulous to shame a naive submissive into debasing themselves. Then there's the anonymity the internet enables without even leaving home....
But I digress; the common denominator is that people are basically the same no matter what their sexuality. Those you can trust; those you can't; those who need a deeper relationship than sex, and those who don't. Welcome to the human race. :)
Sounds like you've been meeting the horn dogs. Not surprised if that pic really is of you. Young, cute, female and submissive - like a bug wandering onto an ant's nest of "doms", unfortunately....
Focus.
_____________________________
Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>
Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)
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My way of seeing it... - 
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RE: My way of seeing it... - 
I can't agree more with you, OP. Also, welcome to the forums! You'll deal with plenty of bullshit, but turn it into games and smiles with the idiots who lack respect and you'll have a new favorite hobby. In fact, you may miss them when they leave! Happy hunting sweets!
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