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What is the norm? - 1/28/2012 2:35:36 PM

JuicyLucy48

Posts: 1
Joined: 1/14/2012
Status: offline

I am a newbie to this site and I was just musing whether or not being kinky was a blessing or a curse. 99% of the time it is definitely a blessing for me, but it is so hard to find people who are like-minded, so that is the curse. My kinks are driven by basic primal urges but where does the sub/Dom thing come from? In vanilla life I would be appalled by anyone who wanted to have control over me, but in my kinky life I love it. A bizarre paradox! In my experience most of the Dommes and subs I have met in the scene are fantastic people. Is this a coincidence or is it possible that the vast majority of the population harbour fantasies outside the norm, but most don't have the courage to realise their dream? I think people that have come to terms with their kinks are more open-minded, less prejudiced and well-balanced personalities. I don't nick women's underwear off clothes lines, I go out and buy my own! Anyone feel the same.. err not about the clothes line!!

Post #: 1

RE: What is the norm? - 1/28/2012 2:39:32 PM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
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Welcome to the site, Lucy.
May your happy experiences continue here.

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When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to JuicyLucy48)

Post #: 2

RE: What is the norm? - 1/28/2012 2:45:24 PM

ghostraven

Posts: 131
Joined: 1/19/2012
Status: offline

It is my humble opinion that we all harbor these desires. Some people, for whatever reason, love pain. The same can be said for all aspects of our little community. This is neither a blessing or a curse. It is human nature. Welcome to collarme. There is someone her for you. May you find that person.

(in reply to poise)

Post #: 3

RE: What is the norm? - 1/28/2012 2:57:39 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

What is this "norm" you speak of?

Welcome to collarme.

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"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to ghostraven)

Post #: 4

RE: What is the norm? - 1/28/2012 3:02:38 PM

Fornica

Posts: 2986
Status: offline

The only Norm I'm familiar with ~

Welcome to CM.

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There is no spoon.

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Post #: 5

RE: What is the norm? - 1/28/2012 3:03:21 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JuicyLucy48

I am a newbie to this site and I was just musing whether or not being kinky was a blessing or a curse. 99% of the time it is definitely a blessing for me, but it is so hard to find people who are like-minded, so that is the curse. My kinks are driven by basic primal urges but where does the sub/Dom thing come from? In vanilla life I would be appalled by anyone who wanted to have control over me, but in my kinky life I love it. A bizarre paradox! In my experience most of the Dommes and subs I have met in the scene are fantastic people. Is this a coincidence or is it possible that the vast majority of the population harbour fantasies outside the norm, but most don't have the courage to realise their dream? I think people that have come to terms with their kinks are more open-minded, less prejudiced and well-balanced personalities. I don't nick women's underwear off clothes lines, I go out and buy my own! Anyone feel the same.. err not about the clothes line!!

Maybe the best number are obtained by the Australia sex project. Here's a sample.

http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1467-842X.2003.tb00806.x/abstract;jsessionid=48627AA9B843BF6E0230C49E5457CBBF.d01t03

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to JuicyLucy48)

Post #: 6

RE: What is the norm? - 1/28/2012 5:11:14 PM

ashjor911

Posts: 7793
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: balcony, having a Smoke
Status: offline

Welcome

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my name is : bonsh ... jamesh bonsh.
code name : 009.5
licensed to give formla

(in reply to JuicyLucy48)

Post #: 7

RE: What is the norm? - 1/28/2012 5:29:39 PM

shylilbear

Posts: 125
Joined: 11/25/2011
Status: offline

I'm not so sure about that well balanced part. Stick around long enough and you'll find out exactly how UN-balanced some of these people can be!

. Honestly though, most of the people you will find here are fabulously awesome. It's the unbalanced ones that provide the entertainment lol.

At first I'd thought my kinky side to be a curse, because I couldn't find anyone that was willing to explore with me, and I got thoroughly frustrated. Then I discovered that there was this whole kinky lifestyle thing, and it's been a blessing (mostly) ever since.

quote:

ORIGINAL: JuicyLucy48

I am a newbie to this site and I was just musing whether or not being kinky was a blessing or a curse. 99% of the time it is definitely a blessing for me, but it is so hard to find people who are like-minded, so that is the curse. My kinks are driven by basic primal urges but where does the sub/Dom thing come from? In vanilla life I would be appalled by anyone who wanted to have control over me, but in my kinky life I love it. A bizarre paradox! In my experience most of the Dommes and subs I have met in the scene are fantastic people. Is this a coincidence or is it possible that the vast majority of the population harbour fantasies outside the norm, but most don't have the courage to realise their dream? I think people that have come to terms with their kinks are more open-minded, less prejudiced and well-balanced personalities. I don't nick women's underwear off clothes lines, I go out and buy my own! Anyone feel the same.. err not about the clothes line!!

_____________________________

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
One who gains strength by overcoming obstacles possesses the only strength which can overcome adversity.
To err is human, to really fuck things up takes a computer.

(in reply to JuicyLucy48)

Post #: 8

RE: What is the norm? - 1/28/2012 5:37:24 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

arnold layne?

(in reply to JuicyLucy48)

Post #: 9

RE: What is the norm? (UK) - 1/28/2012 5:41:49 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

<------ Digs the paradox.

quote:

In vanilla life I would be appalled by anyone who wanted to have control over me, but in my kinky life I love it. A bizarre paradox!

We have lots of regular posters in the UK. If you say what area you are in, they will probably come along with info on BDSM events near you.

(in reply to JuicyLucy48)

Post #: 10

RE: What is the norm? (UK) - 1/28/2012 5:54:46 PM

Delilya

Posts: 4108
Joined: 2/2/2011
Status: offline

Best of luck in your journey.

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“Love me without fear, trust me without questioning, need me without demanding, want me without restrictions, accept me without changes, desire me without inhibitions"-Dick Sutphen

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 11

RE: What is the norm? (UK) - 1/28/2012 7:52:13 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Welcome to the forums, OP.

On the blessing/curse thing, it really depends on one's own perspective. A regular play partner or a long term dynamic sounds like it would eliminate the curse factor for you. If you were content in satisfying the kinky desires, and that would make it a blessing, it's hard to call it a curse just for the lack of a partner that suits the things that you want.

I'm of the opinion that kinky people still really are the minority. Those who have been kinky all along have a hard time imagining that others could feel a different way because they are unfamiliar with the other side. As a later in life kinky person, I can tell you that I never had such desires until I was introduced to kink. In My opinion, it's very similar to whether people are straight, gay, or bi. When somebody is the complete opposite on the scale from you, it's hard to imagine what excites them because those things might not excite us at all.

Sorry to bubble burst, but kinky people as a group really aren't more open minded, or accepting, or any other good character quality higher than the rest of the population. We're like any other group of folks that happens to have something in common. It's one of the subjects that gets raised in discussions here, so you might really enjoy the forums.

_____________________________

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Delilya)

Post #: 12

RE: What is the norm? - 1/28/2012 7:54:39 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

Welcome aboard.
I don't snatch ladies underwear off clotheslines either but I might use the cord to tie someone up!

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to JuicyLucy48)

Post #: 13

RE: What is the norm? - 1/28/2012 8:03:17 PM

Br8dr99

Posts: 95
Joined: 1/3/2012
Status: offline

OP

< Message edited by Br8dr99 -- 1/28/2012 8:07:27 PM >

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 14

RE: What is the norm? - 1/28/2012 9:40:35 PM

BurntKitty

Posts: 3340
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: Here To Eternity.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

Welcome aboard.
I don't snatch ladies underwear off clotheslines either but I might use the cord to tie someone up!

Aaack!

Welcome to CM!

_____________________________

Cat Quotes

Count Boogie's Foot Fetish Anti Creepy Training video

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 15

RE: What is the norm? - 1/29/2012 3:49:49 AM

Ninebelowzero

Posts: 3134
Joined: 8/5/2011
Status: offline

Hi Lucy hope you enjoy the place

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More come backs than Frank Sinatra

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Post #: 16

RE: What is the norm? - 1/29/2012 4:25:32 AM

DaddySatyr

Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline

I think "The Norm" was the fat guy that swilled all the free beer on "Cheers", played by George Wendt?

Welcome to CM.

Peace and comfort,

Michael

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A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to Ninebelowzero)

Post #: 17

RE: What is the norm? - 1/30/2012 4:17:23 AM

OohAahMrs

Posts: 7723
Joined: 7/14/2010
Status: offline

Welcome juice, some of the time it's sort of alright and some of the time it can be quite enjoyable and a lot of the time it can be quite boring!

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You may choc the choc.........Oh forget it......

(in reply to JuicyLucy48)

Post #: 18

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