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RE: D/s = Mental health issue - 1/29/2012 12:17:06 PM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: payingoinker

So then, do you think BDSM is normal?

I know others will raise that question "what is normal". I get that. No need to ask.



Normal, NO.

Of course having an IQ that's 3+ Standard deviations above the mean isnt normal either.

Are either bad?

Trust me on this one. NO.

ETA 'normal' is boring.

< Message edited by Hillwilliam -- 1/29/2012 12:18:04 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: D/s = Mental health issue - 1/29/2012 12:18:32 PM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Dear Ms Lucylastic,

I love all the things you say and wish to pay close attention to them, but you always have these great ass pictures that distract me. What is most disturbing about this is that I'm straight! I feel a headache coming on and am wondering if my new-found struggle over the Ms Lucy ass pictures have become an unhealthy fetish for me and if I might have some self examination to do considering I like those ass's and I'm straight.

Thank you for confusing the fuck outta me and for adding to all I must do on this very busy day!

Insane Lockit


Dahliink, you are a sick sick puppy in so many ways, all of which I find a deep appreciation for.
I too am straight, but I do have a deep appreciation for the butt form, and the bewbage too.
is it a fetish? is it normal??
try not to analyse it, just enjoy it:)
I lubs you beyond the physical.

_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: D/s = Mental health issue - 1/29/2012 12:19:02 PM   
amaidiamond


Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline 		It's normal for me. It's normal for those I am in relationships with.
That's what matters to me.

(in reply to payingoinker)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: D/s = Mental health issue - 1/29/2012 12:22:19 PM   
payingoinker


Posts: 75
Joined: 1/19/2009
Status: offline 		So if BDSM is normal it is not a Mental health issue or a fetish?

(in reply to amaidiamond)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: D/s = Mental health issue - 1/29/2012 12:22:39 PM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: amaidiamond

It's normal for me. It's normal for those I am in relationships with.
That's what matters to me.


Exactly!!!

_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: D/s = Mental health issue - 1/29/2012 12:26:01 PM   
payingoinker


Posts: 75
Joined: 1/19/2009
Status: offline 		Thanks,,

I know we all hate labels...but then what is it?


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic


quote:

ORIGINAL: amaidiamond

It's normal for me. It's normal for those I am in relationships with.
That's what matters to me.


Exactly!!!


(in reply to Lucylastic)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: D/s = Mental health issue - 1/29/2012 12:27:03 PM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: payingoinker

or normal fetish?

I am interested in your thoughts on this.



D/s is neither a mental health issue nor a fetish.

quote:



So then, do you think BDSM is normal?

I know others will raise that question "what is normal". I get that. No need to ask.



Well, now you're including more into your question, which is no longer about only D/s, but about BDSM. (And I do believe there are those that argue whether D/s is even a part of "BDSM." I'm internet-schooled on it, though, so I take it as part of it. Sorry to the purists. :)

Of course there's no need for discussion about what is normal because there is, in fact, definition for it. That question "What is normal?" is a big ol' pet peeve of mine because "normal" is, in fact, measurable.

So, is BDSM normal? Likely not, as far as we know. Is it more normal than we know? I bet it is. If we were to measure for norms in sexual and relationship practices, and everyone who participates in everything that's under the umbrella of BDSM were to fess up, I bet there is much more "out there" than we currently estimate, perhaps to the point of normalcy. We're the one's talking about it, but I would guess there are a lot more doing it but not getting on the internet and telling people about it.


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Dear Ms Lucylastic,

I love all the things you say and wish to pay close attention to them, but you always have these great ass pictures that distract me. What is most disturbing about this is that I'm straight!



Ditto. Straight girl here, adoring the female form.

(in reply to payingoinker)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: D/s = Mental health issue - 1/29/2012 12:27:31 PM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline 		got nothing to do with labels
what is what? normal?
there is no such critter, its like trying to pin down a fart
its normal on this forum
thats why Im here.


_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to payingoinker)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: D/s = Mental health issue - 1/29/2012 12:29:00 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: payingoinker

So if BDSM is normal it is not a Mental health issue or a fetish?


It can be both these things depending on who we are talking about. I am sure there are crazy people into d/s and bdsm and that have fetishes. D/s and bdsm in itself isn't something I believe is a mental health issue unless the person doing them has a mental health issue. D/s and bdsm can include fetishes but doesn't have to be a fetish... once again... its all about the person and not actually the action.

Stop worrying about how it works or doesn't for others and focus on yourself and what issues these things and your mental health are causing in your own life. Its a personal matter.


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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: D/s = Mental health issue - 1/29/2012 1:09:21 PM   
lostinmyownmind


Posts: 56
Joined: 8/31/2011
Status: offline 		"Normal" is a matter of personal opinion and so varies from person to person. For example, I was raised in a household headed by a lesbian. So, homosexuality is "normal" to me, even though I am straight. Other folks raised in heterosexual families might not see homosexuals as "normal". If my mother knew of my masochistic inclinations, she would not consider that "normal", even though I do.

Also, "normal" is a setting on a washing machine and nothing more than that to me.

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: D/s = Mental health issue - 1/29/2012 1:19:55 PM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		Sheesh.... D/s isn't a fetish in and of itself. People who look for D/s relationships may have any number of fetishes, kinks, or preferences.

Very few of these would meet the formal requirements of mental illness.

However, someone with a "Pay pig" fetish... hmmm that's a toughie.

I certainly cannot see how anyone in their right mind could be a pay pig.

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: D/s = Mental health issue - 1/29/2012 1:22:26 PM   
Incorruptable


Posts: 101
Joined: 1/27/2012
Status: offline 		Agreed crazy ML

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: D/s = Mental health issue - 1/29/2012 1:22:50 PM   
DominantHunger


Posts: 57
Joined: 5/11/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: payingoinker
So if BDSM is normal it is not a Mental health issue or a fetish?


BDSM is not normal.
Abnormal is not bad.
Normal is overrated.

Technically a fetish involves an object, so D/s is not a fetish.
Many conflate "fetish" and "kink". In that mode, it is a "fetish".
Fetish is not bad.
Kink is not bad.

I am now done with playing along.




_____________________________


My mind has wandered, from the straight and narrow.
My mind has wandered from the flock, you see?
My mind has wandered, the man just said so.
My mind has wandered, I heard it on TV.

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: D/s = Mental health issue - 1/29/2012 1:43:57 PM   
amaidiamond


Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: payingoinker

Thanks,,

I know we all hate labels...but then what is it?


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic


quote:

ORIGINAL: amaidiamond

It's normal for me. It's normal for those I am in relationships with.
That's what matters to me.


Exactly!!!




What is it? A lifestyle choice some of us choose to live.

(in reply to payingoinker)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: D/s = Mental health issue - 1/29/2012 4:07:56 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		If it causes YOU distress, then it is a mental health issue for YOU.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bdsm#Psychology

With the publication of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV) in 1994 new criteria of diagnosis were available describing BDSM clearly not as disorders of sexual preferences. They are no longer regarded as illnesses in and of themselves. The DSM-IV asserts that "The fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors" must "cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning" in order for sexual sadism or masochism to be considered a disorder. In an AASECT article providing guidelines for therapists working with BDSM clients, sexologists Charles Allen Moser and Peggy Kleinplatz highlight that distress can occur in BDSM patients due to stigma and discrimination surrounding BDSM, and that in these circumstances the role of the therapist is to "validate the distress rather than to "cure" the BDSM desires."[81] The DSM-IVs' latest edition (DSM-IV-TR) further requires that the activity must be the sole means of sexual gratification for a period of six (6) months, and either cause "clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning" or involve a violation of "consent" to be diagnosed as a paraphilia.[82]

...There are only a few studies researching the psychological aspects of BDSM using modern scientific standards. A pivotal survey on the subject was published by US-American psychotherapist Charles Moser in 1988 in the Journal of Social Work and Human Sexuality.[61] His conclusion was that while there is a general lack of data on the psychological problems of BDSM practitioners, some fundamental results are obvious. He emphasizes that there is no evidence for the theory that BDSM has common symptoms or any common psychopathology; Clinical literature, though does not give a consistent picture of BDSM practitioners. Moser emphasizes that there is no evidence at all supporting the theory of BDSM practitioners having any special psychiatric problems or even problems based solely on their preferences.

Moser's results were supported by data presented to the 2007 World Congress of Sexology by Juliet Richters, Richard De Visser, Andrew Grulich, and Christopher Rissel. The researchers found that BDSM practitioners were no more likely to have experienced sexual assault than the control group, and were not more likely to feel unhappy or anxious. The BDSM males reported higher levels of psychological well-being than the controls. It was concluded that "BDSM is simply a sexual interest attractive to a minority, not a pathological symptom of past abuse or difficulty with normal sex."[88]

(in reply to payingoinker)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: D/s = Mental health issue - 1/29/2012 4:18:28 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5173
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		I have no fetishes at all yet I live 24/7 in a D/s relationship.  How does that figure in with your "normal fetish" theme? 

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Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: D/s = Mental health issue - 1/29/2012 5:32:28 PM   
BikerDomRealTime


Posts: 86
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline 		I guess it depends on who you are asking. If you ask the general vanilla populace they would probably say it is a mental health issue and that we all need professional help, at least I have been told that. For me, this is normal so I don't believe it is a mental health issue.

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: D/s = Mental health issue - 1/29/2012 5:35:28 PM   
amaidiamond


Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

I have no fetishes at all yet I live 24/7 in a D/s relationship.  How does that figure in with your "normal fetish" theme? 


Pssttt... carefull or you may give the impression that it is not all about the kink...

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: D/s = Mental health issue - 1/29/2012 5:51:31 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Normal is not the appropriate thing to ask.

Is eating caviar normal? Meaning is it something done by a great many people, is it common? Not at all, but that doesn't make it unhealthy.

The important question is whether or not it's healthy for the individual concerned.

For me it is, for someone else it may not be. Like everything else, it depends on the people involved.


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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: D/s = Mental health issue - 1/29/2012 7:00:33 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		both or neither. You choose the one that's correct for you.



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Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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Profile   Post #: 40
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