RE: The 3 faces of D/s on CM

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RE: The 3 faces of D/s on CM - 1/29/2012 7:02:54 PM

Kaliko

Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: xssve

I am a clique unto myself.

(cue symphonic chest-beating theme)

Not true, though. (And listen, I can keep this going forever to avoid doing my taxes. Besides, my math gets more accurate with every glass of wine.) Everybody has their cliques here. Everybody has their cliques everywhere. It's normal and expected for people to form tribes. That doesn't make anybody a bad person.

I think I know who you mean by the 7% club, and I know of several other pockets of people, as well. I have my own group, I suppose (though I'm still waiting for my "you go girl" so I don't believe I'm in the clique it's assumed I'm in). There are a few posters that I will likely defend even if their opinion differs than mine simply because I've gotten to know them. Through the boards. Through postings. Through c-mail, in some cases.

And you are not a clique unto yourself. You have been a voice of dissension here this past day or so and like it or not, you do have followers, whether they speak up about it or not. You, my dear, are part of a clique. So there.

(in reply to xssve)

Post #: 41

RE: The 3 faces of D/s on CM - 1/29/2012 7:10:50 PM

shylilbear

Posts: 125
Joined: 11/25/2011
Status: offline

Just like any social situation, the forums here have intimidated me for quite awhile, so I just lurked. I have always found it difficult to fit in anywhere, but I've been learning that if I don't come out of the shadows, I'm not giving anyone a chance to get to know me enough to give me a place to fit in. I've gotten nailed a few times when I haven't said something in quite the right way, and that does tend to add to the intimidation factor, but the only way I'm going to learn to fit in is to learn from my social blunders so it doesn't happen again. Well, at least not as frequently lol. So I dust myself off when that happens, take a deep breath, take note of what it was that I may have done wrong, and plunge right back in. It's made it a lot easier for me with Daddy being so active here.

Believe me, I don't go gingerly tiptoeing around because I'm afraid I might offend someone. I've just noticed that there are a few key words and phrases that inevitably invoke very strong, negative responses from just about everyone. Those are the ones I'm learning to avoid.

I also wanted to add that I have never felt that anyone was purposely out to intimidate me by pointing out something I said wrong. That just tends to be my initial reaction, and that's something else I'm learning to avoid doing.

_____________________________

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
One who gains strength by overcoming obstacles possesses the only strength which can overcome adversity.
To err is human, to really fuck things up takes a computer.

(in reply to CelticPrince)

Post #: 42

RE: The 3 faces of D/s on CM - 1/29/2012 7:16:11 PM

xssve

Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline

No dammit! I'm a Randian superman! Grrrrr... lemme at 'em, I'll take 'em all on!

If you know a media tycoon who wants to kill himself and leave me his wife, company and fortune, I can be reached at this address.

(in reply to Kaliko)

Post #: 43

RE: The 3 faces of D/s on CM - 1/29/2012 7:22:32 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

You go, Kaliko!

Just saying

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to xssve)

Post #: 44

RE: The 3 faces of D/s on CM - 1/29/2012 7:23:06 PM

Kaliko

Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: xssve

No dammit! I'm a Randian superman! Grrrrr... lemme at 'em, I'll take 'em all on!

If you know a media tycoon who wants to kill himself and leave me his wife, company and fortune, I can be reached at this address.

"Randian Superman." I wish I were a man. I would use that as my nick.

(in reply to xssve)

Post #: 45

RE: The 3 faces of D/s on CM - 1/29/2012 7:26:25 PM

Kaliko

Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

You go, Kaliko!

Just saying

Thank you!

Ah...then my subtle hint wasn't too subtle. Very good, then.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 46

RE: The 3 faces of D/s on CM - 1/29/2012 7:30:37 PM

xssve

Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline

Use it anyway, its the internet, nobody knows - better yet, use Randian Superwoman, that'll sow appropriate confusion - you go girl!

(in reply to Kaliko)

Post #: 47

RE: The 3 faces of D/s on CM - 1/29/2012 7:35:15 PM

Kaliko

Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: xssve

Use it anyway, its the internet, nobody knows - better yet, use Randian Superwoman, that'll sow appropriate confusion - you go girl!

Ha! I used my Randian Superwoman powers and sucked you into my clique, now. Bring wine.

Signing off of this thread now because I am getting nothing done.

(in reply to xssve)

Post #: 48

RE: The 3 faces of D/s on CM - 1/29/2012 7:40:04 PM

xssve

Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline

I have a clique! Woo hoo!

And I had one before you say? How come nobody tells me these things? Been here all these years and never knew, I've never had a clique before.

Ah, I'll piss them all off too in the end, that sort of self destructive behavior comes with the territory for us Randian Supermen.

We don't care because we're Su-per men!

(in reply to Kaliko)

Post #: 49

RE: The 3 faces of D/s on CM - 1/29/2012 7:41:17 PM

xssve

Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline

You got something done, you gave me a contact buzz apparently.

(in reply to xssve)

Post #: 50

RE: The 3 faces of D/s on CM - 1/30/2012 2:52:15 AM

LizDeluxe

Posts: 687
Joined: 10/2/2011
Status: offline

I am only here on CM for the forums. I enjoy them (forums in general, not necessarily the CM forums) but individually they get a little stale after a while so I tend to migrate from site to site to liven things up. There's a certain amount of clique-ishness here but you will see that in any forum. The Off Topic section here has more of a Stumble Upon feel with a few posters just posting links of things that amused them elsewhere on the web without any real discussion. Thank God that most of the folks who frequent the P&R forum here tend to post only there and nowhere else. Gah. What a wasteland.

OP, as to your question about cross participation - people join these sites for specific reasons. Those who like forums are here in the forums but those folks tend to be a small percentage of any fetish site's membership.

(in reply to CelticPrince)

Post #: 51

RE: The 3 faces of D/s on CM - 1/30/2012 3:33:22 AM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I think that the message board feature is not well advertised on the other side, despite the scroll.

I think that many people are only interested in finding someone (for whatever reason) and not in talking about it.

I think that the user interface may not be to everyone's liking (though I love it).

And I think that people may be a touch intimidated and read more than post.

_____________________________

Kaliko,
I think your right about folks not being comfortable exploring and they ntend to stay where they first find themselves. Strange that timidness should be a part of folks that come to D/s.

Thanks for your thoughts.

CP

(in reply to Kaliko)

Post #: 52

RE: The 3 faces of D/s on CM - 1/30/2012 3:36:20 AM

xssve

Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline

Yeah, it ain't always this bad, been worse, just that maintaining a modicum of civility can't be that distressful, never caused me to lose any sleep anyways, kids is kids, I try to get around a bit myself.

Anyways maybe see you here and there De-luxe, just alerting my clique so they don't freak out the next time I jump.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9b4rIUb5OU&feature=related

Lol, like civility is my long suit, it's a supa-man thang.

(in reply to LizDeluxe)

Post #: 53

RE: The 3 faces of D/s on CM - 1/30/2012 3:37:55 AM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

To preempt the question - I am now taking part in the forums because these boards, while still prone to all the annoyances found in other forums, seem to maintain more intelligent conversation than most internet forums.

DH,

Exactly!

Thanks for your input.

CP

(in reply to DominantHunger)

Post #: 54

RE: The 3 faces of D/s on CM - 1/30/2012 3:38:20 AM

xssve

Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

quote:

I think that the message board feature is not well advertised on the other side, despite the scroll.

I think that many people are only interested in finding someone (for whatever reason) and not in talking about it.

I think that the user interface may not be to everyone's liking (though I love it).

And I think that people may be a touch intimidated and read more than post.

_____________________________

Kaliko,
I think your right about folks not being comfortable exploring and they ntend to stay where they first find themselves. Strange that timidness should be a part of folks that come to D/s.

Thanks for your thoughts.

CP

I don't know what half the people on this site's thinking about and I'm usually pretty good at that sort of thing.

(in reply to CelticPrince)

Post #: 55

RE: The 3 faces of D/s on CM - 1/30/2012 3:40:36 AM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

OP -- I read and lurk but don't post. As for chat rooms -- I have gone into the chat rooms on occasion but just not my thing.

well then what can be done to get you to leave lurking and partisipate??

CP

(in reply to susieqh)

Post #: 56

RE: The 3 faces of D/s on CM - 1/30/2012 4:04:00 AM

SinFix

Posts: 866
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline

I originally created the profile just for the message boards, but having lurked for a long while before I started posting realized that the profile would be on the other side... I still lurk around and don't post often. Mostly because what I would have said had already been said, and most times said repeatedly and at other times just don't feel like posting, I have never felt the need to be in some group... I like being outside of the boxes...
I have been in the chatrooms once or twice and I have never really liked that type of forum....

(in reply to CelticPrince)

Post #: 57

RE: The 3 faces of D/s on CM - 1/30/2012 5:45:53 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

We cannot list names, but I would be damn interested in who everyone thinks is a part of a clique. So many use the same friggin forums and feel the same way... what is it that makes them a part of a clique? Do they conspire? Are they like a little or big gang? Who is it? Who is leader, there is always a leader? Who are the outcast that they aim at?

This feels like high school or actually jr. high school. I don't think there is a concentrated effort to be a clique out to rule CM. Oh some do jump in and around one another and may be friends and get into a frenzy in posting style and when bad enough the mods step in, but really, I don't think they are in email in a concentrated effort to be the bad boys and girls that rule the day. If they do... why not do what typically works with youngsters acting badly? How about not arguing and giving a different point of view? How about not playing into it and working around it without a whine, bitch or argument and nullify them with a counter balance?

When I first got here, I thought a lot of people were friends when actually a lot of them didn't even speak to one another off the forums. They had a similar posting style and might say similar things but they had no other connection. I was surprised when I found this out. I never thought they were a clique or gang, did joke with some of them and did agree with some of them... then there were times I didn't agree and even thought, including myself, we sometime were a bit harsh... but it is what it is and was what it was and will be what it will be. People act like this and often times we go back to school yard days and related what happens as adults to that time period because of our experiences there and if you don't believe that, think of how many talk shows did shows on later life after school yard experiences. The bullies! We are still out to combat them in many cases. Only thing is... I still can't figure out who the fuck they really are. I don't see people around here as a whole.. but as individuals. You have a complaint about an individual... do what you need to do. Report. Report... block... block... ignore or combat by adding your personal opinions rather than a bitch or whine. Point out where you think something is wrong without the... you guys are fuckers... leave us or them alone. Befriend those you think the clique or gang is after. Support their view without the debate which will gain far more in my opinion. Not that my opinion means anything more than any other opinion around here, it is simply my opinion.

A clique or gang only gain power when you give them power. So if there are cliques or gangs around here... don't give them power by giving them attention like in school. Nullify them by your own actions, words and input without the same mentality.

And... is this really what this thread is about???

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to SinFix)

Post #: 58

RE: The 3 faces of D/s on CM - 1/30/2012 5:52:51 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Thanks, Lockit. Kaliko joked (well, I THINK she was joking) about the magical clique on another thread. Am I in THE CLIQUE? Is there more than one?

Honestly, this is a message board, is it unusual that there should be friendships and commonality? Or is it too threatening that some of us actually made the effort to meet offline?

If someone wants to participate, they will. Not everyone feels like doing more than reading. I wish that more people would post, I miss many of our regular posters, but forums have cycles, and people take breaks.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 59

RE: The 3 faces of D/s on CM - 1/30/2012 6:08:01 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Thanks, Lockit. Kaliko joked (well, I THINK she was joking) about the magical clique on another thread. Am I in THE CLIQUE? Is there more than one?

Honestly, this is a message board, is it unusual that there should be friendships and commonality? Or is it too threatening that some of us actually made the effort to meet offline?

If someone wants to participate, they will. Not everyone feels like doing more than reading. I wish that more people would post, I miss many of our regular posters, but forums have cycles, and people take breaks.

Hibbie speaks my mind.

SO THERE!!

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 60

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