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The best way to find a sub/slave - 2/1/2012 5:46:34 AM

HerrHolmes

Posts: 4
Joined: 1/13/2012
Status: offline

Ok so I have been in the lifestyle for a few years but I feel like Im still some what of a novice. Now with that said I have this question. Whats the best way to find a sub? I've looked and looked and only found fakes or someone that isnt as serious as their profile says they are. So now I am looking for some friendly/helpful advice to see what I am doing wrong. Feel free to check out my page and critique it.

Post #: 1

RE: The best way to find a sub/slave - 2/1/2012 6:05:23 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

OK, First thing I would do is look for TNG groups in your area :) SOmeone will be along with links soon, I don't doubt (the ones I had are on my desktop, which for some reason no longer likes the internet).
Secondly, as long as you are using the internet as a search tool, I recommend getting a friend to take some pictures of you. While yours don't totally suck, they could be better.
Pictures to get rid of: all but one of your dick (and make the one you do use the last one on your profile). Remember, women are generally not as interested in the dick as they are in the man it's attached to! :) Also, the one of you sitting on the floor with the clutter all around you... a lot of women pay attention to that stuff!

Your profile seems to pretty well written, and it's great that you know what you want, and what you feel you can offer! I would expand on your vanilla side, though. What kind of music/movies/video games do you like? You say you like scifi/fantasy/paranormal stuff... GREAT!! Tell a bit about why, or which kinds of those appeal the most, favorite authors etc. What makes you laugh?

You Seem to be smart, well spoken, and attractive! Good luck!

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to HerrHolmes)

Post #: 2

RE: The best way to find a sub/slave (Southern Indiana) - 2/1/2012 6:16:20 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

I agree with most of what GT says except I would lose ALL the cock shots - your potential can always ask for them.

Here's some groups in Indiana:http://www.bdsmresourceguide.com/munchesandgroups.html

Also see Fetlife.

(in reply to HerrHolmes)

Post #: 3

RE: The best way to find a sub/slave (Southern Indiana) - 2/1/2012 6:30:48 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

thanks, hon :) (I figured it would be you that posted the link ;) )

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 4

RE: The best way to find a sub/slave (Southern Indiana) - 2/1/2012 6:39:18 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

I agree with GT.....get out from behind your computer. You'll be surprised what you find.

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Post #: 5

RE: The best way to find a sub/slave (Southern Indiana) - 2/1/2012 6:56:23 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
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Lol, I spent 3 years basically getting paid to Google.

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 6

RE: The best way to find a sub/slave - 2/1/2012 7:00:14 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

OP - also if you send me a sample of your first email to women, I will be happy to critique it.

(in reply to HerrHolmes)

Post #: 7

RE: The best way to find a sub/slave - 2/1/2012 12:12:41 PM

HerrHolmes

Posts: 4
Joined: 1/13/2012
Status: offline

Thanks for the advice guys.

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 8

RE: The best way to find a sub/slave - 2/1/2012 5:31:44 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

Get out away from your computer... You will increase your odds....

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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Post #: 9

RE: The best way to find a sub/slave - 2/1/2012 6:01:00 PM

NocturnalStalker

Posts: 3858
Joined: 12/4/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Get out away from your computer... You will increase your odds....

The world vs. your small slice of land.

_____________________________

"The road I walk is paved in gold to glorify my platinum soul."

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 10

RE: The best way to find a sub/slave - 2/1/2012 6:18:19 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HerrHolmes

Ok so I have been in the lifestyle for a few years but I feel like Im still some what of a novice. Now with that said I have this question. Whats the best way to find a sub? I've looked and looked and only found fakes or someone that isnt as serious as their profile says they are. So now I am looking for some friendly/helpful advice to see what I am doing wrong. Feel free to check out my page and critique it.

OKCupid has pretty good penetration into Indianapolis. I answered heavy on the kink questions there, and put up an interesting but vanilla profile. The women who I matched 90% plus with were all kinky as hell. Don't just limit yourself to fetish sites. There are far more kinky and "experimental" women in the world than you might imagine.

I've met several women off CM, including one a couple weeks ago, so it isn't as though this site is "bad." But it's never a good idea to just have one basket for the eggs.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to HerrHolmes)

Post #: 11

RE: The best way to find a sub/slave - 2/1/2012 7:35:26 PM

orimotis69

Posts: 69
Joined: 10/21/2011
Status: offline

Déjà vu anyone?
First things first, NO cock pictures! Second, like GT said see if you can attend any local group meetings.
I'm pretty much in the same boat as you are so trust me dude, no need to rush it and take your time. The odds of actually finding a sub might(IS) pretty low but don't let that stop you.

_____________________________

-Accepting another's path blinds you to alternatives.
-Every point of view is useful, even those that are wrong - if we can judge why a wrong view was accepted.
-You have not really defeated the enemy if you adopt their methods.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 12

RE: The best way to find a sub/slave - 2/2/2012 1:11:24 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

I don't think FINDING one is so hard... finding one who is compatible is trickier ;)

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to orimotis69)

Post #: 13

RE: The best way to find a sub/slave - 2/2/2012 5:30:11 AM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HerrHolmes
and only found fakes or someone that isnt as serious as their profile says they are.

I really feel the need to say whining about fake is as old as the hills and we hear it on the boards frequently. What IS fake? One person's fake is another person's perfect match.

Now that that's out of the way, I would recommend stepping back from your computer and getting out into the real world. Find a TNG group and meet some real live people. You never know what's out there until you check it out.

NBMG

_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.

(in reply to HerrHolmes)

Post #: 14

RE: The best way to find a sub/slave - 2/2/2012 5:35:58 AM

Fornica

Posts: 2986
Status: offline

GT~ It's funny you mentioned the clutter, that was the first thing I noticed too..hahaha!
Really tho, I looked at your profile after you posted in intro's, and was thinking that it was good, until I flipped through your pictures, and did a mental eyeroll at the amount of dick pix..automatic turn-off for me. (not saying your dick isn't lovely, but I don't know YOU, so I don't want to see your junk, ya know?)
You're a good looking guy, seem to be intelligent, articulate..it's the same as meeting vanilla chicks..treat women as women first, and as kinky women second.

_____________________________

There is no spoon.

(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)

Post #: 15

RE: The best way to find a sub/slave - 2/2/2012 6:25:14 PM

HerrHolmes

Posts: 4
Joined: 1/13/2012
Status: offline

Just so you know when I say "fake" Im not meaning an actual person. I am meaning the people that are cam girls or something like that. The actually people I have talked to on here are all cool. So yeah just wanted to clarify that.. since you misunderstood I figured someone else might too.

(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)

Post #: 16

RE: The best way to find a sub/slave - 2/2/2012 7:41:54 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

Develop some patience: you say you don't want to jump into anything but you have been here less than a month.

It took me 18 months to find my One (or rather He found me).. and it was and is worth every minute.

I think not having dick shots up will keep some of the scammers down; good move on listening to advice.

Best wishes!

Oh and what got me interested in the Man who became my Master: He asked really interesting questions.

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(in reply to HerrHolmes)

Post #: 17

RE: The best way to find a sub/slave - 2/3/2012 5:24:01 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

OKCupid has pretty good penetration into Indianapolis. I answered heavy on the kink questions there, and put up an interesting but vanilla profile. The women who I matched 90% plus with were all kinky as hell. Don't just limit yourself to fetish sites. There are far more kinky and "experimental" women in the world than you might imagine.

Ya, I met M on OKC. (he's active on Fet, I'm not.) We both had kinky keywords in our profiles.

Prior to him, I would always look to see if potentials had answered BDSM tests.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 18

RE: The best way to find a sub/slave - 2/8/2012 2:39:57 PM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

When somebody comes up with the best way let me know.

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 19

RE: The best way to find a sub/slave - 2/8/2012 4:22:10 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

Welcome back osf and Miss Cillie Goos!

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 20

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