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RE: have you ever engaged in play that sounded hot but ... - 2/2/2012 3:09:44 AM   
needlesandpins


Posts: 3901
Status: offline 		the problem with fantacies over reality is that when other people are actually involved you no longer have control of it. the little things where in your head you think 'just now that would be amazingly hot' but in reality the other person can't hear that and doesn't do it. it can be that they are just not the right person and someone else would be better.

i went along with my ex's fantacy and it didn't work. he tried to control it all so that it was just the way he wanted it to be. it didn't suit the other person involved or myself. there are alot of things that i have fantacised about that i kept to myself because i didn't want him taking control of them. however, i have voiced alot of things with my playmate because he is a different type of person. he listens, he may embelish but he doesn't take over and turn it into his own.

where i have given myself over to my playmate and my fantacies it's been wonderful. he's just the right person to handle them and i thrust that if i say stop, that it what happens, likewise on his part.

needles

(in reply to Casssy)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: have you ever engaged in play that sounded hot but ... - 2/2/2012 6:13:18 AM   
xssve


Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Endivius

I have had many times when the fantasy did not live up to the reality. I've had a lot more times when the reality blew the fantasy out of the water.
Yeah, if you don't let those expectations get out of control, just go with the flow, then it's a lot harder to disappointed, truth is always stranger.

I'm basically trying to earn a living fantasizing, a professional fantasizer, and I get that sometimes, women will tell me: "you just want to do X to me" - I tell 'em "I haven't got that far" - they're usually way ahead of me.

It's hard for me to fantasize about a real person, especially one I don't hardly know, you don't really have much to work with, and you'd probably be disappointed every time.

(in reply to Endivius)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: have you ever engaged in play that sounded hot but ... - 2/2/2012 7:34:34 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

has anybody else had experiences where reality and fantasy collide in horrifying (and/or hilarious) ways?


I knew plenty of chicks that thought they would enjoy threesomes but found out they don't in fact share well.

While the end result of your story is sad, the responsibility does not lie with you.

(in reply to BoxwineForBrunch)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: have you ever engaged in play that sounded hot but ... - 2/2/2012 7:55:21 AM   
bighappygoth39


Posts: 633
Joined: 10/7/2009
Status: offline 		Some fantasies are best left at that, as a lot would not work out for us in reality.
I can recall only one thing I tried that didn't work out as good as I'd hoped, and it just made us laugh, but it's not something I'd not do again.

I did know a couple where the guy wanted a threesome and kept pushing for it, but when he got it he didn't enjoy it as much as he thought he would, and their relationship suffered because of it and ended, so I'm definitely wary of trying things that could cause such problems in the future.

_____________________________

I just lurrves me chesticles, I do. :)

Don't judge a book by its cover, it could well be worth a good sniff or two...

(in reply to BoxwineForBrunch)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: have you ever engaged in play that sounded hot but ... - 2/2/2012 11:24:32 AM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline 		One thing that seems great in fantasy, but often turns out badly is cuckolding.

I was once asked by a guy at the local BDSM club if I would be willing to have sex with his girlfriend. He had always fantasized about being a cuckold, and had finally convinced his girlfriend to give it a try. He never admitted this, but I assumed that he had selected me because I'm Black. It seems that many (most?) guys who have a cuckolding fantasy seem to have a stereotypical image of their wife/girlfriend being fucked by a Black bull.

Anyway, after a bit on discussion (and lots of pictures of his girlfriend), I finally decided that this could be kind of hot, so I told him that I'd do it if I was absolutely certain that his girlfriend really wanted this. He told me that he expected as much, and gave me her number. I talked to her, and she convinced me that she was okay with the idea (although she made it clear that he had been pressuring her to do it for a long time).

To make a long story short, I had sex with her while and he sat in the corner and watched. But the next time I saw him at the BDSM club, he didn't speak to me. He acted very cold towards me, and avoided all contact. I thought he should have been thanking me, but instead, he was acting like he hated me.

She actually called me several times after that and invited me to come over (when her boyfriend wasn't around). I didn't go, but I told her about how he had treated me, and she said that he got angry with her that night because she had "enjoyed it too much". She said that they got into a big fight over it.

I never saw her again, but I think that guys who have a cuckolding fantasy have to be very sure that they can handle the reality. The fantasy may seem hot, but the reality can cause real problems in a relationship.

(in reply to BoxwineForBrunch)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: have you ever engaged in play that sounded hot but ... - 2/2/2012 11:56:25 AM   
xssve


Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline 		Oops, wrong thread.

< Message edited by xssve -- 2/2/2012 11:57:23 AM >

(in reply to Rochsub2009)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: have you ever engaged in play that sounded hot but ... - 2/2/2012 12:01:31 PM   
xssve


Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

has anybody else had experiences where reality and fantasy collide in horrifying (and/or hilarious) ways?


I knew plenty of chicks that thought they would enjoy threesomes but found out they don't in fact share well.

While the end result of your story is sad, the responsibility does not lie with you.
Every time I see: "I do things I don't like, but I do it because I know it pleases him", I think: Threesome!

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: have you ever engaged in play that sounded hot but ... - 2/2/2012 12:05:51 PM   
xssve


Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline 		I think a lot of people are just wired for poly or not, and if you're not, it's just never going to be really enjoyable.

(in reply to xssve)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: have you ever engaged in play that sounded hot but ... - 2/2/2012 6:45:19 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		Yes . . . her name was vicky.  And I'm not telling the story unless you beg for it. It's way to complicated to sort out after a long day.  

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to BoxwineForBrunch)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: have you ever engaged in play that sounded hot but ... - 2/2/2012 11:25:42 PM   
graceadieu


Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xssve
Every time I see: "I do things I don't like, but I do it because I know it pleases him", I think: Threesome!


I can't tell you how glad I am that I never had to deal with this when I was playing with couples.

(in reply to xssve)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: have you ever engaged in play that sounded hot but ... - 2/3/2012 11:27:41 AM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline 		Silicone lube, it's supposed to be way better and people aren't supposed to have problems with silicone but my girl does. So instead of super fun anal sex with the shiny new lube she picked out she ended up running for the shower because her ass was on fire.

(in reply to BoxwineForBrunch)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: have you ever engaged in play that sounded hot but ... - 2/3/2012 11:31:14 AM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xssve
Every time I see: "I do things I don't like, but I do it because I know it pleases him", I think: Threesome!



That's hilarious, in reality though I think I'd have a miserable time in that situation.

(in reply to xssve)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: have you ever engaged in play that sounded hot but ... - 2/3/2012 11:57:20 AM   
xssve


Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline 		It is an extremely common fantasy for both sexes, always near the top if not #1 I believe, but which sex the appendage is supposed to be is often a matter of dispute.

My feeling is, that if you want to do the one, you ought to be willing to do the other: sauce for the goose, quid pro quo, etc., and if you can handle that, then you might stand a chance.

(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: have you ever engaged in play that sounded hot but ... - 2/3/2012 12:01:14 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xssve

It is an extremely common fantasy for both sexes, always near the top if not #1 I believe, but which sex the appendage is supposed to be is often a matter of dispute.

My feeling is, that if you want to do the one, you ought to be willing to do the other: sauce for the goose, quid pro quo, etc., and if you can handle that, then you might stand a chance.




I have ONE entire sexual fantasy, two men. Yeah. So not ever gonna happen. I find one guy I can stand, introduce the idea, he's game...UNTIL. The eye contact issue, the his-junk-touching-my-junk, altogether NO. I need to find two bisexual guys, evidently, and if I have two bisexual guys...it's like, if I am in a threesome with a chick and a guy, the guy is there to fetch our drinks, right?

Thank heavens for porn.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to xssve)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: have you ever engaged in play that sounded hot but ... - 2/3/2012 12:16:18 PM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus


quote:

ORIGINAL: xssve

It is an extremely common fantasy for both sexes, always near the top if not #1 I believe, but which sex the appendage is supposed to be is often a matter of dispute.

My feeling is, that if you want to do the one, you ought to be willing to do the other: sauce for the goose, quid pro quo, etc., and if you can handle that, then you might stand a chance.




I have ONE entire sexual fantasy, two men. Yeah. So not ever gonna happen. I find one guy I can stand, introduce the idea, he's game...UNTIL. The eye contact issue, the his-junk-touching-my-junk, altogether NO. I need to find two bisexual guys, evidently, and if I have two bisexual guys...it's like, if I am in a threesome with a chick and a guy, the guy is there to fetch our drinks, right?

Thank heavens for porn.

I'm not shy in a crowd. I just make sure that any other gentleman in on it knows that I'm not 'fair game'.

MfM can be fun with 2 guys that know and trust each other.

fMf is MORE fun but.....................

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: have you ever engaged in play that sounded hot but ... - 2/3/2012 12:18:20 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Hilly, it's hard enough for me to find ONE guy that I like well enough to allow him to touch me. Find a SECOND one that we both like?

Porn. Jeanna Fine. Chloe. Yepyepyepyep.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to Hillwilliam)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: have you ever engaged in play that sounded hot but ... - 2/3/2012 12:25:20 PM   
xssve


Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline 		I've crossed swords before in group situations so it's not a real big deal for me, although Threesome dynamics are very different from gangbang dynamics, Threesomes entail a level of intimacy that becomes more of an objective male bonding thing in an FMM+ situation,where the focus is entirely on one person. This is also possible in an MMF, and I assume it would hold true for an MFF+ situation where the women are the instigators/directors, although that pleasure has not been mine.

I've experienced both situations in Threesomes, i.e., ecstatic vs. simply awkward, although my experience in this area has not been extensive.

If it's relaxed and you're just fooling around it can be fun, and really, if you think about it, unless you've known each other a while it's tantamount to jumping into bed with someone - if you aren't comfortable with that, you won't be comfortable with this.

If you're trying to split your attention between two people it's just distracting, and as I mentioned, it tends to cause hidden issues to rise to the surface - the attraction definitely has to be mutual and universal, and any side issues deferred for the duration.

< Message edited by xssve -- 2/3/2012 12:26:43 PM >

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: have you ever engaged in play that sounded hot but ... - 2/3/2012 12:31:05 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Oh no, it's alllll about me. And, not about me, since there is an element of "conduit" involved, if you get my drift.

I am not good in orgy situations, I get confused easily, and can't focus on more than one person at a time.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to xssve)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: have you ever engaged in play that sounded hot but ... - 2/3/2012 12:41:42 PM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline 		As a bit of aside, a LOT ot guys in their teens thru early 30's SAY they want a gf/wife that is enthusiastically bi. Damn few of them can handle the reality.
The reality being that "yo dude. Your life isn't going to be a sequence of 3-ways with hot chicks that your SO brings home for you to fuck. A lot of the time, you're not gonna be invited to the proceedings. Can you deal with that?"

In most cases, the answer is no.

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: have you ever engaged in play that sounded hot but ... - 2/3/2012 12:53:03 PM   
xssve


Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline 		Yeah, my GF said she would do it if I ordered her, but she's not into it- so of course I'm thinking: "Oooh, I'm gonna make her like it"!

Which, of course, if that were in fact, possible, could only play out in the end with her leaving me for a chick.

That would be about par for the course for me, lol.

(in reply to Hillwilliam)
Profile   Post #: 40
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