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Multiple collars or Single Collar? - 1/17/2004 11:39:22 PM

LrdSatyr8

Posts: 21
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Oxford, NC
Status: offline

Here's a good topic of discussion... what do you believe in most... the Single collar for a lifetime of servitude to symbolize that the slave is owned and her devotion to her Master or multiple collars (Collar of Consideration, Collar of Training, etc etc etc).

-=> Satyr! <=-

Post #: 1

RE: Multiple collars or Single Collar? - 1/18/2004 12:19:33 AM

Estring

Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Personally, I have always believed in just one collar. I like to keep things simple, and when I collar a slave, it means very simply, you are owned by me. It symbolizes the commitment and seriousness of what we have together. Nice and simple.

(in reply to LrdSatyr8)

Post #: 2

RE: Multiple collars or Single Collar? - 1/18/2004 1:17:18 AM

PrettyNYkitten

Posts: 27
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Hello, Lord Satyr,

I find it very useful to use protocol when giving collars, and therefore, it behooves a dominant man to first give a collar of consideration to the slave or submissive woman. Collars are not to be taken lightly, and too many "velcro collars" are given. If the collar of consideration is the first collar given, then there can be a period of time for the couple to get to know one another. After that, there is a training collar, and the third type of collar is the formal or permanent collar, and that should signify a lifetime commitment.

I believe that there is a discussion of the three types of collars on Mistress Steel's website. The URL for the site may be www.steel-door.com, but I am not sure at all.

Regards,
Caitlin

Attachment (1)

(in reply to LrdSatyr8)

Post #: 3

RE: Multiple collars or Single Collar? - 1/18/2004 2:21:12 AM

Voltare

Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline

For my personal purposes, I use two collars. The first, a training collar (for lack of better term) that serves as a collar of consideration. This is, to me, signifies a committment to learning, and growing together. When we feel the time is right, I will replace it with a full collar, signifying a level of committment similar to marriage.

In the end, the collar on the neck, ring on the finger, or other bit of jewelry and trinket only carries the weight that the two who make use of it wish for it to. I knew a couple who wore wedding rings after dating only a few weeks, and believed themselves to be married. Two months later, they broke up, and threw the rings away. I know a few couples who have been living together for more then two decades, but will never marry - and wear no rings.

In the end, I would simply offer that what you wear should reflect your heart. Don't let trappings of the lifestyle get in the way of living it.

Stephan

(in reply to PrettyNYkitten)

Post #: 4

RE: Multiple collars or Single Collar? - 1/18/2004 11:36:28 AM

ProDomme

Posts: 50
Joined: 1/8/2004
Status: offline

To me a collar is a very symbolic. I see it as a "marriage" so to speak.

I prefer one.

_____________________________

And even in Darkness, There is Beauty.

(in reply to Voltare)

Post #: 5

RE: Multiple collars or Single Collar? - 1/18/2004 9:36:56 PM

DaddyGrey

Posts: 13
Joined: 1/15/2004
From: Pacoima, CA
Status: offline

I've used one collar, but in steps, so I suppose that would equate to a training collar or a collar of consideration, tho we never called it that.

But the collar would not be given lightly and a lot of time spent to determine if the persons both wanted to enter into a connection, then the collar was given in a contractual commitment usually for 30-60 days. During that period each person did their best to fulfilled the agreed upon terms of the contract. At the end of that time the collar was removed, the terms of the contract examined in light of what each had experienced and any changes discussed and implimented at that time, if there is a desire to renew. Either person could choose not to renew the contract with no hard feelings or repercussions.
If there was mutual desire to continue the connection a second contract, and collaring would occur, a year being a good lenth of time for this one. After a year, if both persons (or all, if more than two are involved) still wish to continue, the lifetime commitment may occur. OR another year, if desired.

Some folks renew, review and revise the contract each year as an ongoing process.

In Leather,
Daddy Grey

_____________________________

Safe, Sane, Consensual....
Two out of three is not bad,
One will do in a pinch.

(in reply to ProDomme)

Post #: 6

RE: Multiple collars or Single Collar? - 1/18/2004 9:56:48 PM

EStrict

Posts: 729
Joined: 1/11/2004
Status: offline

I have to admit, I prefer dominants that believe in only doing one collar. I guess part of it is because I have bad experiences with dominants (not mine) that do *collars of consideration*. Many of them seem to want the privileges of having a sub, yet say things like *I'm not responsible for him/her, he/she is only under consideration.*

Plus, we currently have a 17 year old living with us,, and the *consideration collar* reminds me too much of the *promise ring* he gave his first love for Christmas this year.

Sandy

(in reply to DaddyGrey)

Post #: 7

RE: Multiple collars or Single Collar? - 1/18/2004 10:30:03 PM

Voltare

Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline

Perhaps to clarify my thoughts, as I don't feel I did so adequately earlier...

I don't see the level of expectations, or the nature of the relationship to be different between a 'consideration' or a full collar - the terms themselves are inadequate for me, though I've not given it much thought to label them appropriately. Rather, for my purposes, I do hope to find the right slave that one day I will marry. A 'full' collar, to me, would come the same night we also have a vanilla wedding. Thus, I don't feel my expectations of a different 'type' of collar prior to marriage inappropriate, but rather symbolic of a committment to simply grow closer. I don't expect to marry a woman I haven't lived with for nearly a year, and I don't expect to live with a slave for a year without some sort of committment that she and I have discussed. While this may not conform to any prescribed lifestyle protocol, I believe it fits well within the scope of BDSM.

If a woman is ready to beg my 'full' collar, one month after we've met - not only would I not give it, but I would probably see it as a red flag that she is desperate emotionally. In the end, a collar only has what weight the person giving, and the person receiving, give it.

Stephan

(in reply to EStrict)

Post #: 8

RE: Multiple collars or Single Collar? - 1/19/2004 6:57:18 PM

MrDom

Posts: 36
Joined: 1/8/2004
From: Tampa Bay, FL
Status: offline

My opinion on this is that a collar is like a wedding ring. Collaring to me is the same as marrying. So ideally there should be only one. However, there is such a thing as an engagement ring, so perhaps a 'engagement collar' is an option. Although I believe that is between Master/Misstress and slave to deciide.

It's a free world people. Ultimately, it is Y/your choice, your decision to make. All everybody else can do is act as a sounding board.

< Message edited by MrDom -- 1/20/2004 6:54:52 PM >

(in reply to Voltare)

Post #: 9

RE: Multiple collars or Single Collar? - 1/31/2004 5:10:55 PM

StormCat

Posts: 1
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I very much only believe in one collar. You can consider someone without a collar, and you can train without a collar, just as many of us have dated exclusively without a wedding ring.

(in reply to MrDom)

Post #: 10

RE: Multiple collars or Single Collar? - 2/19/2004 5:36:23 PM

ShadowHwk

Posts: 158
Joined: 1/5/2004
From: New York
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LrdSatyr8

Here's a good topic of discussion... what do you believe in most... the Single collar for a lifetime of servitude to symbolize that the slave is owned and her devotion to her Master or multiple collars (Collar of Consideration, Collar of Training, etc etc etc).

-=> Satyr! <=-

This is one of those topics that is sure to bring out lots of opinions. My own? One collar, or more exactly, one collaring ceremony - often times different collars are used depending on the social situation involved. Some are appropriate for work, while a different, more overt style is used when alone or to attend lifestyle friendly functions.

The ceremony itself represents a commitment - the collar itself is simply symbolic of the commitment - in much the same way as a wedding ring does. The time before the ceremony is a period of consideration by BOTH parties - I don't believe anyone should be collared in haste. That just leads to unnecessary emotional pain and complications.

My .02

Terry
AKA ShadowHwk

(in reply to LrdSatyr8)

Post #: 11

RE: Multiple collars or Single Collar? - 2/21/2004 6:49:59 AM

MizSuz

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I don't think that cookie-cutter policies really work across the board.

There is no right answer for everyone. Whether it is more appropriate to have one collar, multiple collars, or no collar at all is dependent upon the individuals in question. What are the individual and mutual goals? What are the agreed terms? What best suits the achievement of those goals and remains within the terms?

Some people NEED to feel a collar around their throat, other people could care less. Some people NEED to have every step written out for them so they know clearly in which direction they are working, others prefer to take things one step at a time and be surprised.

It's an individual thing. There are no pat answers other than, are you approaching this relationship as a relationship? Does the other person know what that means to you?

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to LrdSatyr8)

Post #: 12

RE: Multiple collars or Single Collar? - 2/22/2004 8:13:47 PM

JerryInTampa

Posts: 138
Joined: 2/19/2004
Status: offline

I agree with several. who have posted above... and I vary based on the individual relationship. Usually one less formal collar which says "you are mine"; potentially a "collaring" later. The analogy would be "going steady" and "marriage" I suppose.

Jerry

< Message edited by JerryInTampa -- 2/22/2004 8:11:00 PM >

(in reply to MizSuz)

Post #: 13

RE: Multiple collars or Single Collar? - 12/24/2004 9:17:10 PM

MistressDREAD

Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Two out of three is not bad,
One will do in a pinch.

Multiple is the only way for Meeee!!

(in reply to JerryInTampa)

Post #: 14

RE: Multiple collars or Single Collar? - 12/25/2004 9:01:53 PM

RealityFix

Posts: 156
Joined: 8/12/2004
Status: offline

None.

A collar is a faddish symbol I refuse to use.

You are either mine, in body, mind, and soul or you aren't.

Any more is redundant.

(in reply to MistressDREAD)

Post #: 15

RE: Multiple collars or Single Collar? - 12/26/2004 3:47:02 PM

MC2044

Posts: 31
Joined: 8/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MizSuz

I don't think that cookie-cutter policies really work across the board.

There is no right answer for everyone. Whether it is more appropriate to have one collar, multiple collars, or no collar at all is dependent upon the individuals in question. What are the individual and mutual goals? What are the agreed terms? What best suits the achievement of those goals and remains within the terms?

Some people NEED to feel a collar around their throat, other people could care less. Some people NEED to have every step written out for them so they know clearly in which direction they are working, others prefer to take things one step at a time and be surprised.

It's an individual thing. There are no pat answers other than, are you approaching this relationship as a relationship? Does the other person know what that means to you?

I concur.

A collar used in training need not be a collar demonstrating the gift of permanent submission, but then what collar truly is such a thing, as in our modern world we truly do not own people as property, as much as we like to act that way.

(in reply to MizSuz)

Post #: 16

RE: Multiple collars or Single Collar? - 12/30/2004 6:57:27 AM

NiteMare4sub

Posts: 6
Joined: 12/23/2004
Status: offline

Well I am not into collaring, only teaching and playing, but with many subs to take care of for me its better than just one or two, cus i only offer the bdsm, not the luv. As a pro we dont get into playing favorites.

(in reply to MC2044)

Post #: 17

RE: Multiple collars or Single Collar? - 12/30/2004 10:01:27 AM

cynnacent1

Posts: 340
Joined: 6/25/2004
From: Massachusetts
Status: offline

There are two collars which i wear. Each carry the same meaning. They are the only collars i've ever worn. Although they can be removed physically, what they signify is something i am always aware of, something which i will honor all of the days of my life, which can not be 'undone'.

The first being one which resembles a piece of ordinary jewelry to others, which doesn't raise eyebrows when viewed by 'vanillas', worn at all times unless replaced by the second collar. This collar was presented to me a week after we'd met. It signifies that i am the infinitely owned property of INSIDEYOURMIND, plain and simple. There were no concideration nor training collars, none were needed.

The second is one which INSIDEYOURMIND made, traditional leather collar with a slave ring in the front. The second is worn in private, and/or BDSM events such as clubs, munches etc .. (and of course any other time He wishes me to wear it). Each signifies the same: i am the infinitely owned property of INSIDEYOURMIND.

¸,ø¤º°cynnacent°º¤ø,¸ (proudly owned by, and devoted to INSIDEYOURMIND)

_____________________________

Current imood of cynnacent1: [image]http://moods.imood.com/display/uname=cynnacent1/fg=339999ns=1/imood.gif[/image] Click the smiley to get your very own imood indicator.

(in reply to NiteMare4sub)

Post #: 18

RE: Multiple collars or Single Collar? - 12/30/2004 4:38:30 PM

LordODiscipline

Posts: 995
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

One collar - otherwise it is rather silly.

~J

(in reply to LrdSatyr8)

Post #: 19

RE: Multiple collars or Single Collar? - 12/30/2004 5:00:04 PM

subcheryl

Posts: 280
Joined: 11/2/2004
Status: offline

cynnacent1 I am so happy you wrote this reply, I will be going to my first reallife master in about a month and he plans to collar me almost right away, and for that am happy as one post above stated some of us need the collar to identify with and I am one I will know am protected by him and am owned by him and will be taken care of by him He too plans on giving me two collars one for the vanilla world and one for at home and training. whether right or wrong I know he is thinking of my emotial need, might add this I did not even ask for a collar, this I think is his way of me being able to tie in with him visually and physically thank you for letting me share my opinion

quote:

ORIGINAL: cynnacent1

There are two collars which i wear. Each carry the same meaning. They are the only collars i've ever worn. Although they can be removed physically, what they signify is something i am always aware of, something which i will honor all of the days of my life, which can not be 'undone'.

The first being one which resembles a piece of ordinary jewelry to others, which doesn't raise eyebrows when viewed by 'vanillas', worn at all times unless replaced by the second collar. This collar was presented to me a week after we'd met. It signifies that i am the infinitely owned property of INSIDEYOURMIND, plain and simple. There were no concideration nor training collars, none were needed.

The second is one which INSIDEYOURMIND made, traditional leather collar with a slave ring in the front. The second is worn in private, and/or BDSM events such as clubs, munches etc .. (and of course any other time He wishes me to wear it). Each signifies the same: i am the infinitely owned property of INSIDEYOURMIND.

¸,ø¤º°cynnacent°º¤ø,¸ (proudly owned by, and devoted to INSIDEYOURMIND)

(in reply to cynnacent1)

Post #: 20

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