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RE: slave or sub - 2/3/2012 3:40:27 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: curliesub

I have been asked as to why I consider myself a slave and not a sub ( yeah I know my user name says otherwise)

My reasoning is I don't have a natural submissive nature but I like to be MADE to serve my owner and wear my collar 24/7.

How do you differentiate between the 2?


I don't get hung up on any perceived differences. The main thing is how best our respective D & s energy complements each other.

And besides, I consider all slaves to be submissive anyway; just that not all submissives are slaves. So the only unknown quantity comes back to what level we work best with and off each other....

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to curliesub)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: slave or sub - 2/3/2012 4:19:37 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		This topic has been done *alot,* so I don't think Fornica's suggestion was snark; the CM archives are filled with great info.

It took me years to accept my sub side, I finally allowed myself to be considered sub to that rare man who could engender that response in me. In time I accepted the term slave, then went back to considering that side of me "sub only."

I too think sub is an umbrella term, found under bottom. All subs are bottoms, but not all bottoms are subs. All slaves are subs, but all subs are not slaves. Unfortunately, this tends to set up a hiearachy of bottom, sub, slave, and there has been a trend toward thinking being a slave is somehow better than being a "mere" sub. Or that being a sub is better than being a "mere" bottom.

You are what you are, and I know from experience that tends to vary depending on the dominant you are with.


Personally I don't get the I am a slave b/c I don't have a sub personality, as if there were some universal sub personality.

When you are new, it's good to know how to categorize yourself. Once you settle in, you will (hopefully) become less hung up on labels.


_____________________________



(in reply to curliesub)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: slave or sub - 2/3/2012 10:19:36 AM   
Endivius


Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
Status: offline 		I don't agree with the hierarchy bit, my perception is perhaps biased. I have noticed people often make attempts to define themselves as uniquely as possible; in order to sate thier egos regardless of what side of the coin they are on.

_____________________________

Basically if you can't inspire someone to trust you deeply, you aren't going to be able to buy that or a reasonable facsimile thereof. -DesFIP

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: slave or sub - 2/3/2012 10:26:28 AM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: curliesub
How do you differentiate between the 2?

Another slave vs sub thread? Oh boy. We get one of these around here at least once or twice a month every month it seems. If you use the Search function, you will find that none of those threads really answered that question to everyone's universal satisfaction, so I don't hold a lot of hope for this one either.

NBMG

_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.


(in reply to curliesub)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: slave or sub - 2/6/2012 6:32:35 PM   
Sizesub


Posts: 2
Joined: 2/6/2012
Status: offline 		I agree a submissive nature but I am his slave. He owns me. My flesh is his.

(in reply to Casssy)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: slave or sub - 2/6/2012 6:45:29 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: curliesub
How do you differentiate between the 2?

Another slave vs sub thread? Oh boy. We get one of these around here at least once or twice a month every month it seems. If you use the Search function, you will find that none of those threads really answered that question to everyone's universal satisfaction, so I don't hold a lot of hope for this one either.

NBMG



Oddly enough, I actually know everything.

Go ahead....ask me anything....anything at all....go ahead....anything.....

(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: slave or sub - 2/6/2012 6:48:12 PM   
JanahX


Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline 		oh god ... not this again

_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.


(in reply to curliesub)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: slave or sub - 2/7/2012 10:43:51 AM   
Morrgana


Posts: 1
Joined: 6/28/2010
Status: offline 		To submit isn't equal of being subserviant.
I prefer a man with a gentlemans approach in service combined with total submission when wanted/needed by me.
The rest of the time I appreciate if he's able to take care of himself (and open my doors)

(in reply to Casssy)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: slave or sub - 2/8/2012 4:14:57 PM   
Petite4petite


Posts: 2
Joined: 2/7/2012
Status: offline 		...
How can you be "dominant bottom"?

sorry i was trying to find the lady that said that on here but i seem to have lost it. This is my first time in the forums, sorry!

< Message edited by Petite4petite -- 2/8/2012 4:18:48 PM >

(in reply to Casssy)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: slave or sub - 2/8/2012 4:20:44 PM   
Petite4petite


Posts: 2
Joined: 2/7/2012
Status: offline 		CASSSY:
How can you be "dominant bottom?" Please explain this to me... thanks

(in reply to Casssy)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: slave or sub - 2/8/2012 4:26:22 PM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Petite4petite

CASSSY:
How can you be "dominant bottom?" Please explain this to me... thanks



You can be a dominant bottom by being a masochistic dominant (instead of a sadist) and telling your sub exactly HOW to beat your ass.

(in reply to Petite4petite)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: slave or sub - 2/10/2012 5:58:35 PM   
Endivius


Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Petite4petite

CASSSY:
How can you be "dominant bottom?" Please explain this to me... thanks



Just because you identify as a Dominant doesn't limit your ability to appreciate pain. Many masochists are dominants, and many submissives and dominants are comfortable topping them. Equally, a submissive can be sadistic.

_____________________________

Basically if you can't inspire someone to trust you deeply, you aren't going to be able to buy that or a reasonable facsimile thereof. -DesFIP

(in reply to Petite4petite)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: slave or sub - 2/21/2012 2:46:23 PM   
womensitonmyface


Posts: 5
Joined: 11/14/2008
Status: offline 		I consider myself submissive but they pretty much mean the same thing.

(in reply to Casssy)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: slave or sub - 2/21/2012 3:07:09 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline 		For me, when someone says they are a sub, slave, dom, master, top, bottom, or any other BDSM label it means they have some definition in their heads about something related to BDSM and if I wait patiently I'll probably find out what it is. In my experience, none of the labels actually mean anything. Someone can be as "precise" as they want to be...

I am a 24/7 TPE slave who is completely obedient and totally owned by her master.

Seems pretty clear right? Except for you can't really define "24/7", "TPE", "total", "slave", "completely obedient", "owned" or "master". So the sentence actually comes down to:

I have in some way or another... possibly completely in my own head... explored some aspect of the thing I think of as BDSM.



_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to curliesub)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: slave or sub - 2/21/2012 3:11:10 PM   
jennileigh8182


Posts: 173
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50


quote:

ORIGINAL: curliesub

I have been asked as to why I consider myself a slave and not a sub ( yeah I know my user name says otherwise)

My reasoning is I don't have a natural submissive nature but I like to be MADE to serve my owner and wear my collar 24/7.

How do you differentiate between the 2?


I don't get hung up on any perceived differences. The main thing is how best our respective D & s energy complements each other.

And besides, I consider all slaves to be submissive anyway; just that not all submissives are slaves. So the only unknown quantity comes back to what level we work best with and off each other....

Focus.



I always find your posts so insightful and enjoyable. They just make sense. (Where else can that sentence be a lofty compliment? *lol*) It doesn't hurt, of course, that I generally completely agree with you, but you manage to say it better.

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: slave or sub - 2/22/2012 3:46:46 PM   
DennisNajee


Posts: 21
Joined: 3/30/2010
Status: offline 		Few are worthy of the title slave.  It is a mindset and one that few, in my experience, are able to attain.  Too many want to degrade those who truly attain the title by self-naming.  It is no different from those who claim to be masters.  This is something that entails a great deal more than putting a capital in front of one's name.

(in reply to jennileigh8182)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: slave or sub - 2/22/2012 3:51:40 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14442
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to DennisNajee)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: slave or sub - 2/22/2012 4:02:32 PM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline 		In my journey and view i became a sub when my Master got thru to me and I actually starting listening, but still had alot of my own freewill and was not totally accepting still , I became a slave when I accepted and truly let him guide me, and wasnt just listening but performing consistantly without questioning. When I truly decided to give totally of my mind, body, soul and heart.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: slave or sub - 2/22/2012 7:20:52 PM   
Casteele


Posts: 655
Joined: 12/10/2011
From: Near Sacramento, California, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: curliesub

I have been asked as to why I consider myself a slave and not a sub ( yeah I know my user name says otherwise)

My reasoning is I don't have a natural submissive nature but I like to be MADE to serve my owner and wear my collar 24/7.


Which is precisely that. It's your reason. Isn't that all that really matters? If they ask because they are trying to determine if you and them have compatible views on the subject, take it as it is and answer plainly. If they ask for just about any other reason (such as the common "you call yourself a slave, so now you must obey me because I call myself a master!"), don't bother answering at all, just block them.

quote:


How do you differentiate between the 2?


My way is different than your way, which are both different than his way, and those are all different from her way, and those are all different from their way, on so on. If you're asking if there is a communal agreement on how the terms are defined, the only agreement I have ever seen is "everyone has their own way." If you're just curious what others think.. For myself, I guess I'm old school; submission is 50-50, slavery is 100-0, and there are many infinite combinations in between the two.

(in reply to curliesub)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: slave or sub - 2/22/2012 9:49:43 PM   
hangemhigh1953


Posts: 245
Joined: 7/8/2011
Status: offline 		The way I see it...

A submissive is a person who submits.

A slave is a person who is property.

You can be either one without the other, or both.

_____________________________

"Chains of love got a hold on me,
when passion's a prison you can't break free"

(in reply to Casteele)
Profile   Post #: 40
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