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Introduction - 2/4/2012 3:37:40 PM

SgtSlaughter82

Posts: 10
Joined: 2/4/2012
Status: offline

I met one openly submissive woman in my life, long ago. I was a kid back then, and I felt "wrong" about what we both wanted to do. I had all these ideas in my head about how terrible it would be to force a woman to do anything, even if that is what she wanted. I felt like it would be taking advantage of her "mental illness". I thought I was being a good person by denying us both what we wanted. I worried if I went through with it, I'd cross a line by (*gasp*) being too rough.

Not taking full advantage of that was one of the bigger regrets of my life. I know had I just crossed that line instead of being an idiot, we would have been a great couple.

No other girl like her ever followed. Some were submissive, I'm sure. I felt it, they felt it. but neither of us wanted to say it. It is a hard thing to risk losing a relationship over. It is frustrating to know exactly what you want to do, and know she wants you to do it, but have that 12' high fence in both your minds that you won't climb over. It ruined my relationships, we were always bored only doing what we were "allowed" to do.

More recently I met a girl who claimed to be submissive. What she meant by that, is that she'd dress up in a stupid outfit and we'd play stupid games with stupid toys. A far cry from what I wanted. I'm turned on by real control, and that's what I wanted to try, not gimmicks. I told her this, and she told me of this site.

There is my story. I hope I find what I am looking for.

Now, tell me, I do a search and I see dozens of young women claiming to be submissive and slaves in my area. Are they for real? What percent can I assume actually exist? I ask this because I have tried AFF in the past and discovered the 500+ females in my area turned out to be approx 15 really bitchy women with fake pictures, a few men, a ton of couples where I imagine there actually was no girl in the couple, and hundreds of mostly fake or one-time-sign-on profiles.

Post #: 1

RE: Introduction (Waterloo, Ontario) - 2/4/2012 3:42:08 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

We're mostly real here on the discussion side but like all of us, you may have to email a lot of frogs to find your s on the other side.

Perhaps your fellow Ontarians will be along to point you to some BDSM events in your area. (No costumes required for munches.)

Welcome,

KK

(in reply to SgtSlaughter82)

Post #: 2

RE: Introduction - 2/4/2012 3:43:45 PM

JanahX

Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline

quote:

Now, tell me, I do a search and I see dozens of young women claiming to be submissive and slaves in my area. Are they for real? What percent can I assume actually exist? I ask this because I have tried AFF in the past and discovered the 500+ females in my area turned out to be approx 15 really bitchy women with fake pictures, a few men, a ton of couples where I imagine there actually was no girl in the couple, and hundreds of mostly fake or one-time-sign-on profiles.

Are the for real? How the hell are we supposed to know?
What percent can I assume actually exist? How the hell are we supposed to know?

Call em up and meet them and find out for yourself. oh and

to the forums.

_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

(in reply to SgtSlaughter82)

Post #: 3

RE: Introduction - 2/4/2012 3:56:40 PM

peppermint

Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

The problem with online is the great number of people who are not quite who they say they are. To avoid that problem it's best to meet people face to face if you are unwilling to weed through the available submissives to find the ones you seek. There are munches in Canada. You just need to read the FAQs for a link to find munches, groups, and events in your area. (or google your province and BDSM munches) If you are from a small town you might have to do some traveling. We used to have to travel 120 miles to go to munch in Montana. We finally have enough people to have a munch in our town.

You probably will not find your perfect submissive at your first munch. However, networking does wonders. Make friends. Keep in touch. Someone will eventually hear about the perfect somebody for you.

In the meantime, join in the forums. That will get you noticed if you make interesting posts.

_____________________________

We are stardust, we are golden, and we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

Yes, I am crazy about feathered creatures. I have a dozen chickens, 3 ducks, 5 geese, and 2 parakeets.

Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

(in reply to SgtSlaughter82)

Post #: 4

RE: Introduction - 2/4/2012 3:59:51 PM

Fornica

Posts: 2986
Status: offline

Welcome, Ontario brother! Lot's of things to do in our province..if you'd like to PM me, I can give you some linkage for your area :)

_____________________________

There is no spoon.

(in reply to peppermint)

Post #: 5

RE: Introduction - 2/4/2012 4:08:52 PM

BurntKitty

Posts: 3340
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: Here To Eternity.
Status: offline

Welcome to CM.

_____________________________

Cat Quotes

Count Boogie's Foot Fetish Anti Creepy Training video

(in reply to SgtSlaughter82)

Post #: 6

RE: Introduction - 2/4/2012 4:14:46 PM

SgtSlaughter82

Posts: 10
Joined: 2/4/2012
Status: offline

Interesting. I had never heard of a munch before. (Hell, I only heard of this site last week). That may be something I should persue, as google shows some in and around my town.

(in reply to Fornica)

Post #: 7

RE: Introduction - 2/4/2012 7:00:22 PM

orimotis69

Posts: 69
Joined: 10/21/2011
Status: offline

Welcome to the boards dude. Just be patient, I've been on the site since Oct. , though I'm probably not as good looking as you.:) Just keep at it.

_____________________________

-Accepting another's path blinds you to alternatives.
-Every point of view is useful, even those that are wrong - if we can judge why a wrong view was accepted.
-You have not really defeated the enemy if you adopt their methods.

(in reply to SgtSlaughter82)

Post #: 8

RE: Introduction - 2/4/2012 7:29:43 PM

FrostedFlake

Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
Status: offline

Qelcome Sarget Slaughter.

It is clear you have a good head on those burly shoulders. Get thee to a munch, where there may be real people to meet in real life. And (big hint here) say, "Thanks, Ma'am!" to Fornica and try to get to know her. It could be the best thing you do this year.

_____________________________

Frosted Flake
simul justus et peccator
Einen Liebhaber, und halten Sie die Schraube

"... evil (and hilarious) !!" Hlen5

(in reply to orimotis69)

Post #: 9

RE: Introduction - 2/4/2012 7:59:33 PM

xXLithiumXx

Posts: 723
Joined: 9/2/2008
From: Hell, Kentucky
Status: offline

Dear Person with the -ahem- (holy shit) amazingly hot black and white pics.

I will gladly change my citizenship. Gladly. No problem. I am looking it up now. I am thinking I can catch a flight in the morning. Does that work for you? I could be there in time for dinner.

No. All kidding aside...

Welcome. There are some really good people here, particularly on the boards, and they have some very viable information. Most are forthcoming with said information, but some may be a bit sarcastic about it. That is just the way of Wonderland. (we are all mad here...=D)

I wish you luck in finding what you seek.

In Frith!

ETA- You'll have to excuse me. I am just now being allowed back into the public ( They say escaped-I say allowed. Tomato-tomatoe...whatever..) I take some getting used to.

< Message edited by xXLithiumXx -- 2/4/2012 8:00:50 PM >

_____________________________

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement

You have to believe in yourself. -Tsun Tzu-

Resident Malkavian.

(in reply to FrostedFlake)

Post #: 10

RE: Introduction - 2/4/2012 8:48:33 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

great intro! welcome!

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to xXLithiumXx)

Post #: 11

RE: Introduction - 2/4/2012 11:50:28 PM

Delilya

Posts: 4108
Joined: 2/2/2011
Status: offline

Welcome to CM.

_____________________________

“Love me without fear, trust me without questioning, need me without demanding, want me without restrictions, accept me without changes, desire me without inhibitions"-Dick Sutphen

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 12

RE: Introduction - 2/5/2012 6:58:13 AM

ashjor911

Posts: 7793
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: balcony, having a Smoke
Status: offline

Welcome

_____________________________

"operative" working undercover for the federal government of bangladesh.

my name is : bonsh ... jamesh bonsh.
code name : 009.5
licensed to give formla

(in reply to SgtSlaughter82)

Post #: 13

RE: Introduction - 2/5/2012 8:14:04 AM

FemmeDominion

Posts: 146
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline

Hiya and welcome.

_____________________________

Now this is not gonna be pretty. We're talking violence, strong language, adult content...

o·pin·ion -a personal view, attitude, or appraisal.

FD,Your logic does not resemble our Earth logic.
FD: Mine is much more advanced.

(in reply to SgtSlaughter82)

Post #: 14

RE: Introduction - 2/5/2012 11:32:27 AM

shylilbear

Posts: 125
Joined: 11/25/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: xXLithiumXx

Welcome. There are some really good people here, particularly on the boards, and they have some very viable information. Most are forthcoming with said information, but some may be a bit sarcastic about it. That is just the way of Wonderland. (we are all mad here...=D)

Sarcasm here?? Oh please say it isn't so!!

Welcome SgtSlaughter!

I have come to learn that the term "real" can be fairly subjective at times. Yes there are the scammers, and the ones that just want you to sign up on a porn site, but not counting those, what may not be real to one man, may be another man's treasure. Some people out there will accuse someone else of being fake simply because they weren't a good match. Or like in my case, I got called a fake by someone that wanted me to move halfway across country to join his house, but he refused to answer most of my questions about himself or the situation I'd be going in to. When I refused he got all bent out of shape and called me a fake. I may be naive about some things, but I'm not stupid lol.

Meeting people in person is definately a better way to go when it comes to avoiding most of the scammers and players. Even then, use common sense. If you wouldn't accept something in a vanilla relationship, don't accept it now. Far too many people think that for some reason they have to be more tolerant of bullshit behaviours just because they're involved in D/s now. The basic fundamentals of a healthy relationship still apply in this lifestyle. (there are going to be some psychobabble exceptions, if you want more details send me a message) Basically though, openness, honesty, integrity, trust, being supportive of each other. Whatever it is that you want in a good vanilla relationship still makes a good foundation for a D/s relationship.

I'm not sure why I went into all that, but I'll shut up now. Good luck in your search!

_____________________________

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
One who gains strength by overcoming obstacles possesses the only strength which can overcome adversity.
To err is human, to really fuck things up takes a computer.

(in reply to xXLithiumXx)

Post #: 15

RE: Introduction - 2/5/2012 4:11:35 PM

SgtSlaughter82

Posts: 10
Joined: 2/4/2012
Status: offline

By "real" I only met real person and not a scammer/email harvester/etc.

I understand some will stretch the truth, and even honest people can't be sure how they will react to a new person.

I've received several replies from real women already, and a couple of spam messages as well. They've been easy to tell apart and the response from real women indicates I'm not wasting my time here.

Thank you all for the warm welcome. Especially you, xXLithiumXx.

(in reply to shylilbear)

Post #: 16

RE: Introduction - 2/5/2012 5:53:05 PM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

Welcome, Sgt. I'm sure you'll find a little bit of everything here. Enjoy!

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to SgtSlaughter82)

Post #: 17

RE: Introduction - 2/6/2012 8:26:21 AM

OohAahMrs

Posts: 7723
Joined: 7/14/2010
Status: offline

Welcome sarge!

_____________________________

You may choc the choc.........Oh forget it......

(in reply to SgtSlaughter82)

Post #: 18

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