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weekend theme? - 2/10/2012 12:23:08 PM   
tjscorpio77


Posts: 10
Joined: 2/7/2012
Status: offline 		Ok so I know I am still wet behind the ears so I will ask all of you fine people.

This weekend starts our new life in the bdsm world. (Me and my wife) We already had a lot of talks about it and know what we both want.

We are very busy during the week so feel we must start new things on the weekends. Since we are so new I thought it best to tackle one new thing a weekend via "weekend themes". Does this sound good or am I going about it the wrong way? For our first weekend theme I was thinking "closeness". She must sit at my side everywhere we go. Didn't want to go all the way to 10 on our first weekend.

Any input would be much appreciated.
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RE: weekend theme? - 2/10/2012 12:31:34 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline 		Hi TJ, welcome to the forum!
Rest assured, the only right way of doing things in your relationship is your way.
I rather like the idea of you starting off slowly, and closeness is a win win for both of you.
I wish you and your wife lots and lots of wonderful experiences.

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When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

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RE: weekend theme? - 2/10/2012 12:38:45 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		I like it choose something you'd like to sexplore for a weekend. Bondage one weekend spanking the next....

Hell ya!! BadOne

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We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

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RE: weekend theme? - 2/10/2012 12:42:36 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		Tj, in that closeness, I would add casual touching :) Sitting close without doing more than bumping elbows likely won't get ya far *grin* Touch her hair, her face (in a gentle caress), her knee. Have her touch you as well. Not necessarily in a sexual manner, but in a more "I'm here. I love you. Feel me close to you" kinda way, if that makes sense?


Good luck, and enjoy your journey!!

_____________________________

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Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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RE: weekend theme? - 2/10/2012 12:43:29 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		I think it sounds like a fine idea. Perhaps build on that each time, have her retain what was done earlier so next weekend she should remain by your side as she's doing this weekend plus whatever is on the plate for next weekend. Have fun!
Just as an aside, I'm totally with Sailingbum on the idea of throwing hot sex in there somewhere, nothing like that for a motivator! 

(in reply to tjscorpio77)
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RE: weekend theme? - 2/10/2012 1:00:35 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		If you want to work it a little further, try a "no hands" session. Master and I did this at the beginning of our relationship. I found it prompted a growth in trust and closeness. Basically, she's not allowed to do anything for herself with her hands. (Master had the exception of going to the bathroom). He dressed me, brushed my hair, fed me, opened my doors, etc. To this day, I'm not allowed to open my own doors when he is present. He likes the amount of control that gives him.

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Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: weekend theme? - 2/10/2012 1:07:41 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tjscorpio77

Ok so I know I am still wet behind the ears so I will ask all of you fine people.

This weekend starts our new life in the bdsm world. (Me and my wife) We already had a lot of talks about it and know what we both want.

We are very busy during the week so feel we must start new things on the weekends. Since we are so new I thought it best to tackle one new thing a weekend via "weekend themes". Does this sound good or am I going about it the wrong way? For our first weekend theme I was thinking "closeness". She must sit at my side everywhere we go. Didn't want to go all the way to 10 on our first weekend.

Any input would be much appreciated.


Pardon my tangent here, but I'm not getting how husband and wife can be sooooo busy that weekends are the only workable option.... I naturally assume you live together and even if there's kids in the equation, you can still develop rules and protocols for the submissive half to follow (which enables the dominant half to lead), even in the semi-presence* of others.

* Semi-presence - others in the same home but not necessarily in the same room or (even if they are) not tuned into any subtle, personal interactions.

Whips and ropes etc are just the physical props of the lifestyle. I would imagine an already committed couple wishing to explore D/s would want to develop a more formal, protocol based power exchange dynamic that flies above and beyond just the kink. Unless you're really just wanting to spice up a waning love life, I guess...?

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to tjscorpio77)
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RE: weekend theme? - 2/10/2012 1:09:52 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		Focus, if it is what is comfy for THEM moving into this, then it is what works for them. Just because you go charging in doesnt mean everyone else needs to.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Focus50)
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RE: weekend theme? - 2/10/2012 1:15:04 PM   
tjscorpio77


Posts: 10
Joined: 2/7/2012
Status: offline 		I has planning on building it making everything being retained for the week and into the next weekend. I also WILL throw in the hot sex! We have to dance around the kids being home so I don't know how the no hands thing would work??? Would have to make lots of exceptions. Thank you all for the great feedback!!!

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: weekend theme? - 2/10/2012 1:20:30 PM   
tjscorpio77


Posts: 10
Joined: 2/7/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50


quote:

ORIGINAL: tjscorpio77

Ok so I know I am still wet behind the ears so I will ask all of you fine people.

This weekend starts our new life in the bdsm world. (Me and my wife) We already had a lot of talks about it and know what we both want.

We are very busy during the week so feel we must start new things on the weekends. Since we are so new I thought it best to tackle one new thing a weekend via "weekend themes". Does this sound good or am I going about it the wrong way? For our first weekend theme I was thinking "closeness". She must sit at my side everywhere we go. Didn't want to go all the way to 10 on our first weekend.

Any input would be much appreciated.


Pardon my tangent here, but I'm not getting how husband and wife can be sooooo busy that weekends are the only workable option.... I naturally assume you live together and even if there's kids in the equation, you can still develop rules and protocols for the submissive half to follow (which enables the dominant half to lead), even in the semi-presence* of others.

* Semi-presence - others in the same home but not necessarily in the same room or (even if they are) not tuned into any subtle, personal interactions.

Whips and ropes etc are just the physical props of the lifestyle. I would imagine an already committed couple wishing to explore D/s would want to develop a more formal, protocol based power exchange dynamic that flies above and beyond just the kink. Unless you're really just wanting to spice up a waning love life, I guess...?

Focus.



Love life is in no way waning. Just going full force into it would be an over load since we are so busy, but Thank you for the input.

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: weekend theme? - 2/10/2012 1:37:10 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tjscorpio77
We have to dance around the kids being home so I don't know how the no hands thing would work??? Would have to make lots of exceptions.


Even if you do it for a set period of time....say an hour....it has an effect.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to tjscorpio77)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: weekend theme? - 2/11/2012 2:31:35 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

Focus, if it is what is comfy for THEM moving into this, then it is what works for them. Just because you go charging in doesnt mean everyone else needs to.


So to review, you think it unreasonable of me to ask why a married couple can only find weekends to share intimacy they apparently both desire?

Pfft....

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: weekend theme? - 2/11/2012 2:34:47 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		No, I don't see how you got THAT out of what I did say.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: weekend theme? - 2/11/2012 2:50:44 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tjscorpio77

Love life is in no way waning. Just going full force into it would be an over load since we are so busy, but Thank you for the input.


I would imagine going "full force" into anything new is a likely recipe for disaster at some level.... And here you are pinning everything on a "planned" weekend of romance.

Still, she's your wife. So if things do go south, you likely needn't worry whether she'll talk to you again.... lol

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to tjscorpio77)
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RE: weekend theme? - 2/11/2012 2:56:45 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

No, I don't see how you got THAT out of what I did say.


Ohh....

Then do tell me more about these things I apparently "go charging in" to.

Or have you got some other objection to me partaking in this public discussion?

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: weekend theme? - 2/11/2012 7:48:32 AM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

Pardon my tangent here, but I'm not getting how husband and wife can be sooooo busy that weekends are the only workable option....



I can imagine that. Easy.

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: weekend theme? - 2/11/2012 9:34:38 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50


quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

No, I don't see how you got THAT out of what I did say.


Ohh....

Then do tell me more about these things I apparently "go charging in" to.

Or have you got some other objection to me partaking in this public discussion?

Focus.



Focus, you're obviously more experienced than the OP and his wife, and I gather that your girls are also more experienced. Thus what might seem a simple, no-brainer, no hesitation thing for you might very well be outside the comfort level, immediately, for a couple just dipping their toes into this ocean that you and I have more experience in.
I don't have children and yet I have no problem imagining why trying to wait until a weekend would be better for them (kids off to a sleep-over, off to grandparents, etc., without worrying about having to get up and trot off to work, etc).

I don't give a rats ass if you participate or not - you've got just as much right to do so as I do, unless the Mods tell one or both of us otherwise.



_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: weekend theme? - 2/11/2012 12:20:07 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

Focus, you're obviously more experienced than the OP and his wife, and I gather that your girls are also more experienced. Thus what might seem a simple, no-brainer, no hesitation thing for you might very well be outside the comfort level, immediately, for a couple just dipping their toes into this ocean that you and I have more experience in.
I don't have children and yet I have no problem imagining why trying to wait until a weekend would be better for them (kids off to a sleep-over, off to grandparents, etc., without worrying about having to get up and trot off to work, etc).

I don't give a rats ass if you participate or not - you've got just as much right to do so as I do, unless the Mods tell one or both of us otherwise.


This looks like 'full-circle' to me.

Where there's a will, there's a way - and all that. They're not just some couple with separate lives, they're a married couple who already live together. Assuming they're *both* really of like-mind about exploring D/s, then there's plenty to explore that doesn't require complete privacy or time measured in hours. UNLESS, as I queried, it's just about spicing things up with some physical kink....

I think it was you who came "charging in" without reading (or at least trying to comprehend) my first post.

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to GreedyTop)
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RE: weekend theme? - 2/12/2012 9:31:36 AM   
tjscorpio77


Posts: 10
Joined: 2/7/2012
Status: offline 		Wow I didn't know that a simple post would cause so much discussion! Love this forum!!!

(in reply to Focus50)
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RE: weekend theme? - 2/12/2012 9:36:07 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		tj.. ignore the sniping between me and focus.

it's normally like that between us.

I think he's normally and ass. he thinks I'm normally an ass.

Take what works for you and your wife (ignore the rest: you are the only ones that will know which is which!), and I wish you both all the best in your journey into this!


HAVE FUN!! :)

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to tjscorpio77)
Profile   Post #: 20
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