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New sub wanting to improve - 2/11/2012 2:14:25 PM   
sebastien31


Posts: 55
Joined: 2/5/2012
Status: offline 		Dear Mistresses,

Thank you in advance for taking some of your precious time to read this.
I would really like to get constructive criticism, tips and/or maybe (never know :P) some encouragement on my profile if you can. Even if i always was conscious of my submissive side, i'm still very new to this and i know it plays against me... So i guess the least i can do is work on having an appealing/clear profile.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: New sub wanting to improve - 2/11/2012 2:23:06 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		I'm not a Mistress, but I'm going to give you a brownie point for simply making this post.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to sebastien31)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: New sub wanting to improve - 2/11/2012 2:40:41 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline 		Your profile rocks. The only change I'd consider making is taking out the word 'desperately' and putting in 'diligently', 'with dedication' or something similar. Lifestyle Mistresses see the word 'desperate' and tend to move on to the next profile, especially when used by a person with little real-time experience. Pro- or fin-dommes might see the word 'desperate' and consider you ripe for the pickings. You might as well put a red bulls-eye on your wallet. There's no reason a bright, attractive young man with a stellar attitude such as yourself would have to pay-for-play...assuming you remain particular and patient in your search.

Good luck! Enjoy the journey.

< Message edited by MistressDarkArt -- 2/11/2012 2:45:00 PM >

(in reply to sebastien31)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: New sub wanting to improve - 2/11/2012 3:01:22 PM   
sebastien31


Posts: 55
Joined: 2/5/2012
Status: offline 		Your reply warms my heart MistressDarkArt, thank you very much. Your observation totally makes sense, change is made already.

And thanks for the brownie point OsideGirl, i can't get enough of those.. yum yum


Anything else?...

< Message edited by sebastien31 -- 2/11/2012 3:48:38 PM >

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: New sub wanting to improve - 2/11/2012 6:21:35 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		I would write to a profile such as your own, were we closer in geography and age. I think it's a great profile.

NBMG

_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.


(in reply to sebastien31)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: New sub wanting to improve - 2/11/2012 6:51:19 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I'd remove the first paragraph.  Aside from that, it's pretty good.  Also, you might want to keep the entire English profile, then repeat the entire profile in French, assuming you're fluent.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: New sub wanting to improve - 2/13/2012 1:23:21 AM   
sebastien31


Posts: 55
Joined: 2/5/2012
Status: offline 		Ladies, gentlemen,

I can't thank you all enough for the inputs, advices and good words. My search continues, and even with all the good feedback i got, i will continue editing my profile text.
I like the french version idea, i never thought it would be relevant here, but i guess it would help to make it stand out a tiny bit.
After reading many great male submissive profiles, i realized that i might not be talking about myself enough in mine... So i'll get on that as well.
I also got the blues today, after reading sub profiles and forum posts about the offer of subs exceeding so much the seeking dommes that it is improbable i will ever find, about the other subs being smarter, handsomer, richer, etc. I'll get better.

I still have so many questions i need to find answers to about the lifestyle and how meeting on a dating site like CM works... I find some of them so silly i'm too embarassed to ask them :p I'll continue researching before taking more of your time.

Best regards, and thanks again.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: New sub wanting to improve - 2/13/2012 2:59:12 AM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		Hi sebastien, I like most of your profile and being a good looking guy helps too
I would take out the bit about limits. If you are as new as you say you are, how can you possibly know your limits or lack of them ? The limits paragraph makes you look a bit desperate and a Mistress who isn't into the things you mention may well be put off by those words.
If you were closer to me then I would also be contacting you but I would want the blank canvas.

(in reply to sebastien31)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: New sub wanting to improve - 2/13/2012 3:43:42 AM   
sebastien31


Posts: 55
Joined: 2/5/2012
Status: offline 		Good point MariaB.

I never thought of it that way, but you are absolutely right, i have no idea of my limits.
It's funny that it took you to say this for me to realize that paragraph doesn't belong there, thank you.
I think that instinctively, just the sound of the few things i've put there (was scat, knife play and needle play) either repulsed me, or completely freaked me out.

But i cannot state that those are my limits, maybe the list is longer....or maybe i can get to enjoy one or all these things, i honestly don't know.

(in reply to MariaB)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: New sub wanting to improve - 2/13/2012 4:34:33 AM   
FemmeDominion


Posts: 146
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sebastien31


I also got the blues today, after reading sub profiles and forum posts about the offer of subs exceeding so much the seeking dommes that it is improbable i will ever find, about the other subs being smarter, handsomer, richer, etc. I'll get better.



I know the thread/post to which you are alluding.

In my life and in my opinion, in love and in affection I find that rich/poor, "handsome"/"unattractive," intelligent/unintelligent, etc. are rarely of issue to me. If you want someone who takes these things into consideration then play to these traits. If you want someone to care for you as you are then be yourself. What is of issue to me is if we get along, can the other accept my love, and can I accept the other's love. And though I only bracketed "handsome" and "unattractive" all these issues are relative to the perceiver. Someone who is multi-generational poor will find a $20,000 income quite well off. I still have a thing for "grunge" looking guys when I think the "metrosexual" look may be in right now(?). It'a all relative. I'd, personally, rather you see you be yourself than to be "someone."

Also, I believe that there is someone for everyone. I'm a romantic. So, please, seek happiness and trust that you will find your Top.

Good luck. ;)

< Message edited by FemmeDominion -- 2/13/2012 4:35:29 AM >

_____________________________

Now this is not gonna be pretty. We're talking violence, strong language, adult content...

o·pin·ion -a personal view, attitude, or appraisal.

FD,Your logic does not resemble our Earth logic.
FD: Mine is much more advanced.

(in reply to sebastien31)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: New sub wanting to improve - 2/13/2012 5:18:37 AM   
amaidiamond


Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline 		I am not a Mistress but i think your profile rocks and if I was looking for a submissive male and you were in my location, i would get in touch :)

_____________________________

Lead me not into temptation... I can find the way all by myself!

(in reply to FemmeDominion)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: New sub wanting to improve - 2/13/2012 5:27:28 AM   
sebastien31


Posts: 55
Joined: 2/5/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: amaidiamond

I am not a Mistress but i think your profile rocks and if I was looking for a submissive male and you were in my location, i would get in touch :)



Your profile is one i visited before and actually learned from, i think he rocks too. Thank you dear.

< Message edited by sebastien31 -- 2/13/2012 5:28:16 AM >

(in reply to amaidiamond)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: New sub wanting to improve - 2/13/2012 6:35:10 AM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sebastien31

After reading many great male submissive profiles, i realized that i might not be talking about myself enough in mine... So i'll get on that as well.
I also got the blues today, after reading sub profiles and forum posts about the offer of subs exceeding so much the seeking dommes that it is improbable i will ever find, about the other subs being smarter, handsomer, richer, etc.



I actually made the comment that you're referring to. And for the most part, finding a Domme can be difficult.

But I took a look at your profile, and it's actually pretty good. Just from what I've seen in your profile, and what you've written in this thread, you're already ahead of 90% of the "male subs" on CollarMe.

Frankly, in my opinion, the best thing that a male sub can do to separate himself from the pack isn't to show pictures of his amazing physique, or to brag about his money (that only attracts the scammers and "financial Dommes"). Instead, guys should do exactly what you've done; post a few messages that show that you have a good head on your shoulders.

I'm not a Domme, but I'd say that you're off to a good start.

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 2/13/2012 6:46:14 AM >

(in reply to sebastien31)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: New sub wanting to improve - 2/13/2012 6:42:01 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		What Roch said ( he is much wise ;) ).

After looking at your profile earlier, I think you've done a great job with it. It doesn't scream DO ME DO ME DO ME!!! Kudos for that! As you go along, you'll find yourself making other adjustments :)


ANd as far as limits - when I first got into this, there was NO WAY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH I was ever gonna let ANYONE not in a medical setting stick needles into me (and even then there would be a battle!! LOL). Well, let's just say that I have done a 180 on that! Of course, I need to be sure that the person with the sharp, poky things knows what they're about..LOL
So many of my former 'hard limits' are now things I really enjoy.

SOme of the things I thought I would enjoy/used to enjoy have gone to my hard limit list.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Rochsub2009)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: New sub wanting to improve - 2/13/2012 6:58:43 AM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline 		Very well written, sebastien.

I noticed earlier that you said you were reading other sub male profiles and taking hints. That's a good idea if you remember that a vast majority of sub male profiles quite frankly suck. Read them critically and learn from their mistakes. You don't want to be 'just like them' because most of them will fail in their search. You, on the other hand, appear to have gotten off to a good start. Stay up on the level you are on instead of descending into the morass that they inhabit.

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: New sub wanting to improve - 2/13/2012 7:51:08 AM   
sebastien31


Posts: 55
Joined: 2/5/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

quote:

ORIGINAL: sebastien31

After reading many great male submissive profiles, i realized that i might not be talking about myself enough in mine... So i'll get on that as well.
I also got the blues today, after reading sub profiles and forum posts about the offer of subs exceeding so much the seeking dommes that it is improbable i will ever find, about the other subs being smarter, handsomer, richer, etc.



I actually made the comment that you're referring to. And for the most part, finding a Domme can be difficult.

But I took a look at your profile, and it's actually pretty good. Just from what I've seen in your profile, and what you've written in this thread, you're already ahead of 90% of the "male subs" on CollarMe.

Frankly, in my opinion, the best thing that a male sub can do to separate himself from the pack isn't to show pictures of his amazing physique, or to brag about his money (that only attracts the scammers and "financial Dommes"). Instead, guys should do exactly what you've done; post a few messages that show that you have a good head on your shoulders.

I'm not a Domme, but I'd say that you're off to a good start.


Thank you very much Rochsub2009, means a lot coming from you. Not because you made that comment, but because i esteem all i have read of you up to now.

(in reply to Rochsub2009)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: New sub wanting to improve - 2/13/2012 8:03:19 AM   
sebastien31


Posts: 55
Joined: 2/5/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ANd as far as limits - when I first got into this, there was NO WAY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH I was ever gonna let ANYONE not in a medical setting stick needles into me (and even then there would be a battle!! LOL). Well, let's just say that I have done a 180 on that! Of course, I need to be sure that the person with the sharp, poky things knows what they're about..LOL
So many of my former 'hard limits' are now things I really enjoy.

SOme of the things I thought I would enjoy/used to enjoy have gone to my hard limit list.


Thanks for the good words. And that's a great story :) that's what i seek, learning about myself, push my limits, evolve. of course everyone is unique, but your story reassures me

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: New sub wanting to improve - 2/13/2012 10:52:27 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		darlin, you are doing well right now :) I wish you all the best in your journey of exploration and submission!!

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to sebastien31)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: New sub wanting to improve - 2/13/2012 11:34:14 AM   
hangemhigh1953


Posts: 245
Joined: 7/8/2011
Status: offline 		You certainly have an intriguing profile that should pique the interest of any Domme worth meeting. The suggestion I usually make is to get out into your local scene, at munches or other events, and perhaps journal about them or reference it in your profile. It shows that you are serious and willing to educate yourself. Someone who's never played but goes to munches and events regularly is typically MUCH more knowledgeable and trustworthy than someone who plays regularly in private and refuses to reach out to the community (I was the former and know one of the latter, and she is horribly misinformed and I would call her dangerous).

Good luck and be patient!

< Message edited by hangemhigh1953 -- 2/13/2012 11:35:41 AM >

_____________________________

"Chains of love got a hold on me,
when passion's a prison you can't break free"

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: New sub wanting to improve - 2/13/2012 4:15:57 PM   
sebastien31


Posts: 55
Joined: 2/5/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

Very well written, sebastien.

I noticed earlier that you said you were reading other sub male profiles and taking hints. That's a good idea if you remember that a vast majority of sub male profiles quite frankly suck. Read them critically and learn from their mistakes. You don't want to be 'just like them' because most of them will fail in their search. You, on the other hand, appear to have gotten off to a good start. Stay up on the level you are on instead of descending into the morass that they inhabit.


Thank you Hillwilliam, i'm always very flattered to hear its well written. French is actually my first language, the one i use in my everyday life the most, and i wish i mastered english better. That's why my discourse might lack of, how should i say, richness and nuances sometimes. I always try to read and think critically, the profiles i'm taking hints from are always picked carefully.


quote:

ORIGINAL: hangemhigh1953

You certainly have an intriguing profile that should pique the interest of any Domme worth meeting. The suggestion I usually make is to get out into your local scene, at munches or other events, and perhaps journal about them or reference it in your profile. It shows that you are serious and willing to educate yourself. Someone who's never played but goes to munches and events regularly is typically MUCH more knowledgeable and trustworthy than someone who plays regularly in private and refuses to reach out to the community (I was the former and know one of the latter, and she is horribly misinformed and I would call her dangerous).

Good luck and be patient!


That's definitely the next step for me, i found out that the local ALCC (Alternative Lifestyles Community Centre) is holding a "Drop-in Day" and a movie/munch night, once every month. Also, there are fetish play parties and gathering in clubs organized every week. I thought i would wait for the former, but do you think a fetish play party is also a good place to start?

(in reply to Hillwilliam)
Profile   Post #: 20
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