RE: Freaked out

RE: Freaked out (Full Version)

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lilmisssubmiss -> RE: Freaked out (2/13/2012 7:42:56 AM)
It's not misplaced I worry easily .

lilmisssubmiss -> RE: Freaked out (2/13/2012 7:44:28 AM)
This all has made me feel better though . Not as worried anymore . And no ita just my vanilla life is doing really well. With my kind of internship people can't know I'm into bdsm

Hillwilliam -> RE: Freaked out (2/13/2012 7:48:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lilmisssubmiss This all has made me feel better though . Not as worried anymore . And no ita just my vanilla life is doing really well. With my kind of internship people can't know I'm into bdsm Take a deep breath. Even with your internship, I daresay he has a lot more to lose than you. The most important thing you can do is learn from this. Remember, you are that proverbial 'unicorn' that a TON of people are searching for. You can afford to be picky and you can also afford to not let people push you into something that you aren't comfortable with yet. I highly recommend you go down to the poly forum and do some reading. There's some great advice from people who have lived poly for years if not decades. Don't be afraid to write to some of the people who are in active triads to ask them for advice. I'd bet that 99% of them will be happy to correspond with you and help you.

MrBukani -> RE: Freaked out (2/13/2012 7:58:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lilmisssubmiss This all has made me feel better though . Not as worried anymore . And no ita just my vanilla life is doing really well. With my kind of internship people can't know I'm into bdsm Again dont worry if things ever come out you are just a little kinky or freaky or whatever. And I bet most people like some kink. The truly straight ones even admit they are a bit boring. Its all in the deliverance. PS I am not gonna tell you about my every kink untill I know or trust you to a certain extent.

angelikaJ -> RE: Freaked out (2/13/2012 8:16:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lilmisssubmiss Okay , I'm just worried he will out me since he knows my full name. And unless I am mistaken, you know where he lives. You can out him. Do you really think he is going to claim that you somehow managed to convince them both into a 3-way against their will, or that you overpowered them both? But if he has threatened you with blackmail in the past even in jest and proceeds to follow through, then remember the law is on your side. Blackmail is illegal and he faces big trouble for trying.

MusicalBoredom -> RE: Freaked out (2/13/2012 8:26:02 AM)
Great advice so far. I try not to find who is at fault. It seems to be a natural urge to somehow "know" we weren't to blame for all sorts of things but it's pointless really. I didn't end up marrying that girl in the third grade that I sent the "do you like, check yes or no" note to but I would hardly say someone was to blame or that it was a mistake. We all go out with lots of people but only settle down with a few. That's just the process. I don't have to make me or them the bad guy. That being said, I am responsible for my growth and my future and current decisions so I hope to learn what it is that I really want and not let my little head get me into trouble. One of things that I see a lot of naturally submissive people do is obsess over some perceived displeasure on the part of someone else. That can get you in trouble if it's misplaced. Not everyone is going to like you and some people are just a bottomless pit of demands and expectations that you could never possible satisfy. Best of luck! ETA: If he does want to play public games don't forget that you are young and cute and you can play the "big mean man tried to take advantage of little old me" card.

kalikshama -> RE: Freaked out (2/13/2012 8:31:32 AM)
quote: Okay , I'm just worried he will out me since he knows my full name. Don't you know his last name and where he lives? If you don't know his last name, that's something to add to your checklist moving forward. If he's a homeowner, you can get his name from property records from his address. CM me if you'd like help with this. Mostly likely, he's going to want to forget you ever existed. Pro-actively block him where ever you can. On the off chance he contacts you, tell him to leave you alone or you will tell his wife. I'm sure we all have made mistakes - I know I have!

LaTigresse -> RE: Freaked out (2/13/2012 8:35:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl quote: ORIGINAL: lilmisssubmiss No.... but he's kind of manipulative. There is something about him i really don't trust...like REALLY don't trust. I have a REALLY bad feeling. If this is the way you feel, then why were you trying to become involved with him? Yes, this jumped out at me also. If after communicating a woman cannot trust me enough to spend time with me in a public place, I don't want her to meet with me. If after spending time with me in a public place, a woman cannot trust me enough to spend time with me privately, I don't want her to. If after spending time with me publicly, privately, she cannot trust me enough to feel comfortable coming to my home, I don't want her there. If she cannot feel comfortable with me publicly, privately, and in my home, I sure as HELL don't want to fuck her. Trust goes both ways. I want to be as comfortable with her, trust her in my life, as much as I love knowing she trusts me.

kalikshama -> RE: Freaked out (2/13/2012 8:36:45 AM)
Regarding last names, if a guy won't cough up his last name, no way in hell will I be meeting him privately.

crazyml -> RE: Freaked out (2/13/2012 8:39:18 AM)
FR Drama Llama meat is awesome barbecued. - Just sayin

LaTigresse -> RE: Freaked out (2/13/2012 8:40:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: crazyml FR Drama Llama meat is awesome barbecued. - Just sayin I don't know. I would be worried about residuals from all the psychiatric meds.

lostinmyownmind -> RE: Freaked out (2/13/2012 9:36:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: crazyml FR Drama Llama meat is awesome barbecued. - Just sayin She posted this over on Fet before she came here and got all the same advice. I guess it wasn't good enough for her?

crazyml -> RE: Freaked out (2/13/2012 9:40:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse quote: ORIGINAL: crazyml FR Drama Llama meat is awesome barbecued. - Just sayin I don't know. I would be worried about residuals from all the psychiatric meds. Good point, well made. Perhaps knit a cardigan from the fluff?

MistressDarkArt -> RE: Freaked out (2/13/2012 11:42:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009 The fact that you don't trust him tells me that this entire experience was a mistake on your part. I think she gets this. It's clear she's beating herself up about what happened. I know this thread has to run its course while everyone has their say, but she's paid her penance. Where's the good in making her feel worse than she already does?

JanahX -> RE: Freaked out (2/13/2012 11:45:38 AM)
I agree. I cant even get snarky on this chicks post, because its actually a fucked up situation. I'd want to rip that guys balls apart if I were her. quote: ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt quote: ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009 The fact that you don't trust him tells me that this entire experience was a mistake on your part. I think she gets this. It's clear she's beating herself up about what happened. I know this thread has to run its course while everyone has their say, but she's paid her penance. Where's the good in making her feel worse than she already does?

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Freaked out (2/13/2012 12:17:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt quote: ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009 The fact that you don't trust him tells me that this entire experience was a mistake on your part. I think she gets this. It's clear she's beating herself up about what happened. I know this thread has to run its course while everyone has their say, but she's paid her penance. Where's the good in making her feel worse than she already does? I'm not trying to make her feel worse. Just pointing out that it's unwise and unsafe to proceed with anyone that you don't trust. I think the fact that you're not a sub or slave may prevent you from understanding a problem that many of us have. We often allow our desire to serve/submit to become so strong, that we ignore obvious warning signs. We'll sometimes submit to people who don't deserve our submission. In the past, I've referred to this as "submitting to our desire to submit". I've definitely done it, and I'm sure that there are other subs on here who will admit that they've made similar mistakes. While I don't want to make someone "feel bad", I think it's important that we learn the lessons from our mistakes. Sometimes those lessons have to be hammered home pretty loudly, so that next time we are in sub frenzy, we won't ignore the alarms that are going off in our head. Like I said, I've been there, done that, and have an entire collection of t-shirts to prove it. I just hope that she hears the true message that I'm trying to give her. But I know from firsthand experience that it's easy to ignore uneasy feelings when the craving to submit hits. Anyway, I wish the OP good luck. And I do apologize if I made her feel bad.

OsideGirl -> RE: Freaked out (2/13/2012 12:26:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt quote: ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009 The fact that you don't trust him tells me that this entire experience was a mistake on your part. I think she gets this. It's clear she's beating herself up about what happened. I know this thread has to run its course while everyone has their say, but she's paid her penance. Where's the good in making her feel worse than she already does? I agree. She made a mistake that hopefully she has learned from. The guy was deliberately a jerk. Her role was innocent, his wasn't.

lilmisssubmiss -> RE: Freaked out (2/13/2012 1:03:14 PM)
Well , I do know it's my fault . I had that gut feeling, just was surprised I was so stupid and got into that position . I really have learned a lot . These posts really helped me. Thank you for your time . And you are right I wanted my desire to be submissive met , but that got me in a bad position . I will never do that until I know the dominant will be caring, and treat me right . And , I'll never do anything drunk first again . It's my fault because I let this all happen , I just believed others have good intentions , I have to watch out for myself more . Can't tell you how much this all helped , I was really upset yesterday .

fucktoyprincess -> RE: Freaked out (2/13/2012 2:20:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lilmisssubmiss I just believed others have good intentions , I have to watch out for myself more . Sometimes it is actually better to proceed as if others do not have good intentions, until proven otherwise. Hate to be the cynic, but this cynicism of mine has kept me safe on many an occasion....

IrishMist -> RE: Freaked out (2/13/2012 4:07:24 PM)
Maybe it's just me, but for some reason, you seem to have this habit of choosing the wrong sort of men. Just looking at your past postings is enough to give me a headache and shake my head in disbelief. Perhaps you should just sit on the sidelines for a bit and gain some maturity and instincts.

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