RE: Is fetish not for single guys? (Full Version)

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PeonForHer -> RE: Is fetish not for single guys? (2/14/2012 4:58:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lizix

This is the reason, end of story, period, the end. I'm not being silly, this is really the reason why you are pursued and he isn't. Nothing fancy or deep. Well, this and then secondary to that there aren't as many women around as there are men in any adult venue. Women don't ever have to pursue, they get enough people coming after them without doing a thing. Your friend is a male and has to do some work at it, while you never will have to. It's just the way things are. If something is more rare it is actively pursued.


Women will pursue if, as per your last line, they see something both desirable and rare in a male.  I don't think it's all that difficult to work out what such desirable, but rare, qualities they desire. 

OP:  I suggest that you tell your male friend why you like him.  Then make sure that he conveys those qualities in his profile and in his first contacts with women.  I have a feeling that he hasn't a clue about these things, to be blunt.  A lot of men don't - maybe most.




DesFIP -> RE: Is fetish not for single guys? (2/14/2012 7:07:36 PM)

Anna, if you and he went to a bar, I bet you get guys sending you over drinks, coming over to chat you up. And he doesn't.

There's no difference here. Men tend to be more pushy about getting a girl. Women prefer to go home alone rather than with the wrong guy.




LookieNoNookie -> RE: Is fetish not for single guys? (2/14/2012 7:10:08 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009


quote:

ORIGINAL: Anna4handcuffs

every time I login I get my mailbox spammed by all sorts of horny guys.
Yet my friend who is a cute looking young in shape male has spammed all the profiles but he hardly ever gets any replies.....



It's simple. You have tits. He doesn't. [;)]


That.




JanahX -> RE: Is fetish not for single guys? (2/14/2012 7:13:52 PM)

THIS !!!
quote:

ORIGINAL: Charles6682

Here seems to be the common answer.The ratio bewteen Fem-Dom/Male Subs is huge.Collarme is full of do me subs and blah blah..Alot of guys on here are just horny looking for some release.Sad thing is,this is probaly true to a degree.I rarely come on here anymore.Perhaps I don't really need to come on here anyways but hey,just maybe,some day!I'm not holding my breath on this one.





poise -> RE: Is fetish not for single guys? (2/14/2012 8:03:13 PM)

Good looks last only as long as your next sexual encounter, so while he may be cute as a button,
it isn't going to do him any good if he can't hold a womans attention outside of the bedroom.

Why not invite your friend to come visit the forums. There are many informative threads that
offer advice on what type of emails women prefer to receive. It may benefit him greatly.




DommesLesEnigma -> RE: Is fetish not for single guys? (2/14/2012 9:26:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Anna4handcuffs


Yet my friend who is a cute looking young in shape male has spammed all the profiles but he hardly ever gets any replies,
and when he does the girls usually drops out of conversation after 1 - 2 messages.

I also noticed that whenever you go to any event the girls and trannies always get all the attention,
even from the other girls, while guys get virtually ignored.

Because it's just seems for a good looking and fun person like him it shouldn't be that difficult to make friends or date someone who is into sado mazo.


To me spamming is like a minute man your in and out. So, he shouldn't be shocked when he has nothing in common with whoever answers. One line or two line impersonal comments to a person that put time and thought into their profile is most time a turn off, and isn't gonna catch the interest of too many.

Next, trannies are very outgoing and attention seekers. Most of them want to be the center of attention and so their personalities match. My advice... go hang out with the trannies. In most cases they will pull you right into the action. Once there don't just stand on the wall. Let your personality shine too. (Just make sure your personality is good enough to compete or your ego will take  beating.) 

Go with him and just have fun, a lot of women will seek out men that are with another woman. Especially if you both are enjoying yourselves.

Next, tell him not to come on too strong about his fetish. When scoping out a woman you don't know hint and test, you know flirt (it can be fun). Don't just barrel into how you like to beat the crap out of women or have the crap beat out of you. That will make her think you are a psycho.




xssve -> RE: Is fetish not for single guys? (2/15/2012 9:22:49 AM)

It's biology, guys are less picky than chicks about what they do and who they do it with, whereas women tend to be looking for optimal long term matches.

I think the proof of this is that the average guy will never turn down a blowjob, i.e., chick walks into a bar and offer to blow anybody, the line will be around the block, whereas if a guy offers to blow a chick (or several) in a social setting he's more likely to get ridiculed than satisfied - and that's just a blowjob.




Kana -> RE: Is fetish not for single guys? (2/15/2012 9:29:02 AM)

Absolutely disagree.
First, it's an anonymous site peopled by...and I'm trying to put this kindly...mostly liars, so I seriously doubt anyone can come up with anything close to the real breakdown of numbers.
The standard I have seen for years is 10 men to every gal-whether it's accurate or not, WTF knows.
Now, out of those women, probably half (very conservative guess) are gonna be fake profiles or guys.
Buuuut, out of those 10 men, how many will really be Doms?
I'm betting maybe, and I mean maybe, 1 out of 10 are actually real,serious men who aren't blithering lunatics.
The rest will be HNG's, wankers, outright frauds, fat old guys with fake pics, misogynists and Russian/Nigerian/Chinese scammers.

Point of fact, I would bet that when all the BS is removed, there are more real female subs here than male doms. And I've noticed that much the same is often true in RL, munches and shit.
Think about it. yeah, there are usually more men than gals, but most of them are creeps. The cats with experience, who know what they are about and what they are doing, who aren't insane and actually know how to treat a lady, they do just fine. In fact, they are usually the subject of considerable interest and I've known more than one or two slave gals who have lurked, just waiting for a guy to get single so she can be his.
JMHO and all...


Fetish is just fine for single guys. They can do very well here, provided they ain't asshats




LillyBoPeep -> RE: Is fetish not for single guys? (2/15/2012 9:39:41 AM)

+1 Kana - all of my experience has been that there are more single females, or at least the same number of single femsubs as Dominant men - when you define men as decent, sane, non-gross non-weirdos, the numbers really even out. The HNGs and faux-profiles of any orientation kinda bulk up the numbers. But I imagine the real numbers are more like they are in real life. Here in NE, we're kinda overstocked on /s-chicks. :p I seriously doubt NE is all that unique.




Kana -> RE: Is fetish not for single guys? (2/15/2012 10:07:35 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

+1 Kana - all of my experience has been that there are more single females, or at least the same number of single femsubs as Dominant men - when you define men as decent, sane, non-gross non-weirdos, the numbers really even out. The HNGs and faux-profiles of any orientation kinda bulk up the numbers. But I imagine the real numbers are more like they are in real life. Here in NE, we're kinda overstocked on /s-chicks. :p I seriously doubt NE is all that unique.


Scrambles for travelocity-zip code please!




RexCorvus -> RE: Is fetish not for single guys? (2/15/2012 11:42:59 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana
Fetish is just fine for single guys. They can do very well here, provided they ain't asshats

Oh sure, there's always a catch, isn't there?




PeonForHer -> RE: Is fetish not for single guys? (2/15/2012 12:55:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RexCorvus


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana
Fetish is just fine for single guys. They can do very well here, provided they ain't asshats

Oh sure, there's always a catch, isn't there?



[:D]  Nice one.




hangemhigh1953 -> RE: Is fetish not for single guys? (2/15/2012 6:56:50 PM)

In my experience the online numbers don't reflect the real life numbers. Far fewer male subs and more fem doms. Haven't payed attention to the maledom scene much but it also seems to be relatively balanced.




DaddySatyr -> RE: Is fetish not for single guys? (2/15/2012 7:05:58 PM)

It's hard to calculate the domme:sub male ratio because, ever since the feminization of men began in the 70s, I have seen far more "normal" relationships where the female is clearly in charge. Whether they profess a D/s lifestyle or not, I am not aware (except in a few cases of couples I know, personally).

They may not see their relationship as domme/male sub but I think most of us would.

Obviously, as in all general statements, there are degrees to which these relationships may be recognized by me (or us) as D/s relationships but, they abound.

I have a friend who calls his wife: "She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed" and lives his life that way. They'd freak if I suggested they were involved in a D/s relationship but, they are. If it waddles like a duck and quacks like a duck and has a bill like a duck, maybe the fucking thing is a duck.

Seriously, I think if you just go out and socialize, you'll find plenty of ladies that are ready, willing, and able to take some control of you. Then, if you truly submit, trust me, they'll take what you give.



Peace and comfort,



Michael




Fightdirecto -> RE: Is fetish not for single guys? (2/15/2012 7:11:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DommesLesEnigma
...a lot of women will seek out men that are with another woman. Especially if you both are enjoying yourselves.

In the vanilla world, as well as in the kinky world, many women don't seem to be interested in a man unless he appears NOT to be single. It's almost like "If no other woman wants him, why should I want him?" or "He's with another woman, so he must be worthwhile...and think about the boost to my feminine ego if I can take him away from her."

When I was married or when I've been in a relationship, I attracted women like honey attracts bees. When I was single, those same women would ignore me.




PeonForHer -> RE: Is fetish not for single guys? (2/15/2012 7:56:44 PM)

I have to say that I've noticed that phenomenon, too.




StrongSpirit -> RE: Is fetish not for single guys? (2/15/2012 7:57:53 PM)

A lot of you guys are insulting the men, using pretty much the same arguments Rick Santorum would use about you. Frankly, you sound prejudiced and cynical, not experienced.

My personal experience is as follows (rough estimates, * are things I am more sure about.)

*1) There are about 10 real, live, honest men for every real live, honest female on this site. We outnumber the real women by a lot. There are many reasons for this, not just the obvious ones. Anyone that thinks differently has not realized how many female accounts are spammers. See #3.

2) For every 10, real, live, honest people (male and female), there are about 2-3 actual assholes (both male and female) Assholes are not that common - but those assholes tend to spam so they look more populous than they really are..

*3) For every 1 real, live, honest woman, there are about 2 or 3 accounts set up by nigerian scammers, all of whom pretend to be women. These accounts vanish, eventually, but are re-created just as fast. Frankly, when a guy writes to women blindly, he is more likely to get a scammer than a nice perverted woman.

*4) About 1 out of every 10 people (male or female) have dramatically different desires than most people. You are ALLOWED to enjoy bondage photos but not want real life. You are ALLOWED to like Dominance but not pain. You are ALLOWED to just want online play. You are ALLOWED to be old, hairy and fat and still want someone young and pretty. You are allowed to be a male exhibitionist that likes to show his penius (just as women are allowed to be exhibitionists that show their private parts). This site is NOT just for 20 year old painsluts in good shape, who think peniuses are disgusting. (Note, I am straight and don't want to see the peniuses. But my personal desires don't make you evil for wanting to show it to me, anymore than it makes a gay man evil for propositioning me.

*5) About 50% of the people, (well represented in this thread) are so prejudiced that they think it is OK to insult the people from #4 above. They call them bullshitters, faux, fakers, not serious, blithering idiots, etc. Just because they have different desires doesn't make them scum. Think about what Rick Santorum would say about your personal desires. You are treating those people the same way he treats us. Shame. SHAME! Let them contact you. So what? Ignore them, the way I ignore a gay man hitting on me. It is not that hard to do. Yes, some of them are persistent assholes. So are some of th 'normal' people.

*6) Spamming WORKS. In regular email and here. That is why men do it. If you think it doesn't work, you don't understand economics. You get about 1/10 the response rate of a well thought out email but send out about 20x as many emails. That gives you a 2:1 advantage. Some, but not all of that goes away when they get to know you. Frankly, I have ethics and have better things to do with my time, but I totally understand why spammers do what they do. It works on dating websites just like it works for email.

*7). If women dislike this, there is a simple, easy way to deal with it. As a woman, you can actually initiate contact first, I know you thought it was illegal but it isn't. You don't even get fined. Then just ignore all emails from people that you didn't contact first. The fact that women refuse to do the same work they want men to do is THEIR fault, not the spammers. Intelligent people modify their actions to fit the world, they don't scream at the world for not conforming to their desires. I want all thin 20 year old women to go naked all the time but I am not stupid enough to complain about this.

8) Even if women insist on wading through spam instead of contacting men first, they can easily use their numerical advantage to get exactly what they think they want. But be careful what you wish for. Note it will take some time, but they will succeed. For men it is a crapshoot given the bad ratios here. The best women for you very likely will meet someone slightly better than you.




LadyHibiscus -> RE: Is fetish not for single guys? (2/15/2012 7:58:10 PM)

I just notice that there are very few available men... Femdoms frown on poachers.




DaddySatyr -> RE: Is fetish not for single guys? (2/15/2012 8:08:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I just notice that there are very few available men... Femdoms frown on poachers.



See? You Femdoms need to learn how to share your toys!



Peace and comfort,



Michael




LadyHibiscus -> RE: Is fetish not for single guys? (2/15/2012 8:10:12 PM)

We do share, rather often. We do not steal, or seduce away.




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