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StrongSpirit -> RE: Is fetish not for single guys? (2/15/2012 7:57:53 PM)
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A lot of you guys are insulting the men, using pretty much the same arguments Rick Santorum would use about you. Frankly, you sound prejudiced and cynical, not experienced.
My personal experience is as follows (rough estimates, * are things I am more sure about.)
*1) There are about 10 real, live, honest men for every real live, honest female on this site. We outnumber the real women by a lot. There are many reasons for this, not just the obvious ones. Anyone that thinks differently has not realized how many female accounts are spammers. See #3.
2) For every 10, real, live, honest people (male and female), there are about 2-3 actual assholes (both male and female) Assholes are not that common - but those assholes tend to spam so they look more populous than they really are..
*3) For every 1 real, live, honest woman, there are about 2 or 3 accounts set up by nigerian scammers, all of whom pretend to be women. These accounts vanish, eventually, but are re-created just as fast. Frankly, when a guy writes to women blindly, he is more likely to get a scammer than a nice perverted woman.
*4) About 1 out of every 10 people (male or female) have dramatically different desires than most people. You are ALLOWED to enjoy bondage photos but not want real life. You are ALLOWED to like Dominance but not pain. You are ALLOWED to just want online play. You are ALLOWED to be old, hairy and fat and still want someone young and pretty. You are allowed to be a male exhibitionist that likes to show his penius (just as women are allowed to be exhibitionists that show their private parts). This site is NOT just for 20 year old painsluts in good shape, who think peniuses are disgusting. (Note, I am straight and don't want to see the peniuses. But my personal desires don't make you evil for wanting to show it to me, anymore than it makes a gay man evil for propositioning me.
*5) About 50% of the people, (well represented in this thread) are so prejudiced that they think it is OK to insult the people from #4 above. They call them bullshitters, faux, fakers, not serious, blithering idiots, etc. Just because they have different desires doesn't make them scum. Think about what Rick Santorum would say about your personal desires. You are treating those people the same way he treats us. Shame. SHAME! Let them contact you. So what? Ignore them, the way I ignore a gay man hitting on me. It is not that hard to do. Yes, some of them are persistent assholes. So are some of th 'normal' people.
*6) Spamming WORKS. In regular email and here. That is why men do it. If you think it doesn't work, you don't understand economics. You get about 1/10 the response rate of a well thought out email but send out about 20x as many emails. That gives you a 2:1 advantage. Some, but not all of that goes away when they get to know you. Frankly, I have ethics and have better things to do with my time, but I totally understand why spammers do what they do. It works on dating websites just like it works for email.
*7). If women dislike this, there is a simple, easy way to deal with it. As a woman, you can actually initiate contact first, I know you thought it was illegal but it isn't. You don't even get fined. Then just ignore all emails from people that you didn't contact first. The fact that women refuse to do the same work they want men to do is THEIR fault, not the spammers. Intelligent people modify their actions to fit the world, they don't scream at the world for not conforming to their desires. I want all thin 20 year old women to go naked all the time but I am not stupid enough to complain about this.
8) Even if women insist on wading through spam instead of contacting men first, they can easily use their numerical advantage to get exactly what they think they want. But be careful what you wish for. Note it will take some time, but they will succeed. For men it is a crapshoot given the bad ratios here. The best women for you very likely will meet someone slightly better than you.
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