quote:

ORIGINAL: xssve

Ha, you can't just end a thread, it's out of your control, you can only choose not to participate.

Sort of a synonym for submission really, once you agree to surrender control it's up to you to get it back.

Presumably, you had some fantasy of submission in order for you to agree to do it in the first place, with mixed results - so when I say you're not a submissive, I mostly mean you're probably not what most people refer to as a submissive personality type, although you probably do have some submissive facet of your personality, everybody does, the feminine corollary might be a "bedroom submissive", i.e., it's thrilling to go there under controlled conditions, but ultimately, you need to control what, where, and when - that might get jeered, there is a common assumption in here that it's always a binary thing, but it ain't necessarily so, it's more of a continuum, and most people, whether they admit it or not, do like to retain some degree of control, even if it's just the person they submit to - if they submit to everybody all time, that might be construed as being very close to a genuine personality disorder, or at least a syndrome along the lines of PTSD, Stockholm syndrome or something.

So, you need some measure of control, you gave in too quickly, too easily perhaps, hard to say, but you need to figure out how to switch gears if you want to keep doing this, there's no control like self control, even submissives need it.

Take it slower, maybe find somebody who you feel comfortable talking to about it, even if it is a therapist, you might have some deep seated issues that don't have anything to do with sexual submission - BDSM can trigger stuff like that, it's the pleasure principle, we typically seek pleasure and avoid pain, and not just physical pain, but psychic pain which can trigger denial or aggression (we ignore or attack the thing we perceive as the source of the pain), and the fact that they tend to be integrally mixed together in BDSM makes it a potent catalyst.

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

An Irishman feigning he doesn't know what a laddie buck is....no more.

quote:

ORIGINAL: xssve

Ha, you can't just end a thread, it's out of your control, you can only choose not to participate.

Sort of a synonym for submission really, once you agree to surrender control it's up to you to get it back.

Presumably, you had some fantasy of submission in order for you to agree to do it in the first place, with mixed results - so when I say you're not a submissive, I mostly mean you're probably not what most people refer to as a submissive personality type, although you probably do have some submissive facet of your personality, everybody does, the feminine corollary might be a "bedroom submissive", i.e., it's thrilling to go there under controlled conditions, but ultimately, you need to control what, where, and when - that might get jeered, there is a common assumption in here that it's always a binary thing, but it ain't necessarily so, it's more of a continuum, and most poeple, whether they admit it or not, do like to retain some degree of control, even if it's just the person they submit to - if they submit to everybody all time, that might be construed as being very close to a genuine personality disorder, or at least a syndrome along the lines of PTSD, Stockholm syndrome or something.

So, you need some measure of control, you gave in too quickly, too easily perhaps, hard to say, but you need to figure out how to switch gears if you want to keep doing this, there's no control like self control, even submissives need it.

Take it slower, maybe find somebody who you feel comfortable talking to about it, even if it is a therapist, you might have some deep seated issues that don't have anything to do with sexual submission - BDSM can trigger stuff like that, it's the pleasure principle, we typically seek pleasure and avoid pain, and not just physical pain, but psychic pain which can trigger denial or aggression (we ignore or attack the thing we perceive as the source of the pain), and the fact that they tend to be integrally mixed together in BDSM makes it a potent catalyst.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DommesLesEnigma

quote:

ORIGINAL: xssve

Ha, you can't just end a thread, it's out of your control, you can only choose not to participate.

Sort of a synonym for submission really, once you agree to surrender control it's up to you to get it back.

Presumably, you had some fantasy of submission in order for you to agree to do it in the first place, with mixed results - so when I say you're not a submissive, I mostly mean you're probably not what most people refer to as a submissive personality type, although you probably do have some submissive facet of your personality, everybody does, the feminine corollary might be a "bedroom submissive", i.e., it's thrilling to go there under controlled conditions, but ultimately, you need to control what, where, and when - that might get jeered, there is a common assumption in here that it's always a binary thing, but it ain't necessarily so, it's more of a continuum, and most people, whether they admit it or not, do like to retain some degree of control, even if it's just the person they submit to - if they submit to everybody all time, that might be construed as being very close to a genuine personality disorder, or at least a syndrome along the lines of PTSD, Stockholm syndrome or something.

So, you need some measure of control, you gave in too quickly, too easily perhaps, hard to say, but you need to figure out how to switch gears if you want to keep doing this, there's no control like self control, even submissives need it.

Take it slower, maybe find somebody who you feel comfortable talking to about it, even if it is a therapist, you might have some deep seated issues that don't have anything to do with sexual submission - BDSM can trigger stuff like that, it's the pleasure principle, we typically seek pleasure and avoid pain, and not just physical pain, but psychic pain which can trigger denial or aggression (we ignore or attack the thing we perceive as the source of the pain), and the fact that they tend to be integrally mixed together in BDSM makes it a potent catalyst.

to "Steve2199" What do you mean

Exactly what "mnottertail" said

"If you like bdsm that's great but i don't, I guess I didn't realise my views were so conflicting to most on here,

You are on a bdsm website.

Give it a think, laddie buck."


and again I agree with "xssve" quote above.

But I think in the end it goes back to you didn't know your own self when you went out and acted on your fantasy. It wasn't what you thought it would be...sound to me as I said before it hit a Raw nerve . Instead of trying to figure out what it was and thinking about what others are saying, you choose to blame BDSM. Then it seems got overly upset and wanted the thread to end. Thus it seems to me like you have an overall control issue. Would you say you are a controlling person? Which goes back to what I originally said by agreeing with xssve's comment. You the OP don't seem to have the stregnth it take to be a Submissive. So don't do it. Maybe try Domination...maybe that's not for you. Maybe try a Vanilla life. Then get over it and continue on.

Dommes Les Enigma

quote:

ORIGINAL: Steve2199

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

An Irishman feigning he doesn't know what a laddie buck is....no more.

I ain't even irish, know a few and I've never heard them say ladie buck though

quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

Could be Kevie but I think it's this guy.
http://www.collarchat.com/m_3954321/mpage_1/key_BDSM%252Cangry/tm.htm#3954685

Same guy upset with BDSM- posting on another thread with quite a few posts starting with post #36.
http://www.collarchat.com/m_3934101/mpage_1/tm.htm

Or here is this guy, called Steve, who says BDSM is wrong.
http://www.collarchat.com/m_3492151/mpage_1/tm.htm

I'd have to say the typing and writing are closer to the first guy than the second although the similarity in the names is pretty convincing for the second. Still think it's the first that's what clicked for me when I first read this thread, then held off, after reading about the online BDSM counseling it was BS territory for me.