JeffBC
Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: TheBootyMan
No sock puppet here, whatever that means. We share a computer and I found this place by following the link in the history. Just trying to understand the lifestyle to better handle situations in the workplace.
Well, despite the paranoid concerns of some folks on this thread, I'm gonna go with this as stated. I find it particularly plausible since I had one particular employee that, in hindsight, was submissive. We never talked about their family life and I wouldn't even have known to apply that word to someone at that point. But I gotta say that I've wished a million times that I'd owned Carol before trying to manage that person. I don't think I did a poor job managing them but in hindsight I could have done so much better.
I have to admit, the whole "how did you find collarme" (arguably one of the two biggest BDSM sites on the internet) is pretty hilarious. I don't think it's all that hard to find collarme.
So, to the specific advice.
A) For most people there seems to be little or no relationship between social dominance and BDSM dominance (those are my two phrases I use to capture the split in my own head, not anything even remotely generally accepted). So I'd be very careful about assuming anything at all. In fact, an awful lot of BDSM doms are fairly socially submissive and an awful lot of BDSM slaves are fairly socially dominant. So just be careful assuming anything at all about how her interactions with her slave might be affecting her relationship with you.
B) In the BDSM world, "dominance" doesn't always mean "getting someone to do what you want". In point of fact, more often than not it means "getting someone to participate in a hot sex fantasy". That's why some of the posters on this thread automatically assumed sexual tones. So when you hear this woman is a mistress to a few slaves, you still don't know much about what that means. For all you know it means that she struts around in latex and thigh-highs and barks out harsh commands while they eat from dog-food bowls. It may have absolutely nothing to do with dominance as you understand the concept (or me for that matter).
C) If this woman is sexually dominant AND she is stupid enough to think that behavior will translate well to work then the easy no-brainer answer is can her ass and get someone more mature. The same answer applies if she is socially dominant AND stupid enough to not understand relative situational hierarchy.
D) So really then, the only part of this that's a problem is if she's socially dominant and she does get relative hierarchy. In that case, just treat her like any other well adjusted "Type A" or "alpha" or whatever word you like to use to mean "aggressive, self-directed go-getter who maybe has some leadership and team-building skills". You already know the type. There's no need to confuse it with BDSM imagery.
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I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd
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RE: How to manage a dom advice? - 
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