RE: Relationship Drama-Lama: Enter At Your Peril!

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RE: Relationship Drama-Lama: Enter At Your Peril! - 3/17/2012 12:39:11 PM

MistressDarkArt

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More hugs to WestBay. You deserve someone who can return all you offer. That person will be along shortly; count on it and be ready! :-)

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RE: Relationship Drama-Lama: Enter At Your Peril! - 3/17/2012 9:01:38 PM

RedMagic1

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I just wanted to stop by to say congratulations on finding a relationship. You may remember we spoke a bit, a couple years ago, and you weren't sure you ever would because of the one night stand desert that is gay kinky dating. So I was glad to read your OP.

Doesn't help you too fucking much, I realize, but your drama llama made me feel warm inside, because I remembered where you had been.

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RE: Relationship Drama-Lama: Enter At Your Peril! - 3/17/2012 9:47:04 PM

WestBaySlave

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Thanks all, for the thoughts!

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Doesn't help you too fucking much, I realize, but your drama llama made me feel warm inside, because I remembered where you had been.

I realize your heart is in the right place, but it's a little like hearing "What a beautiful stillborn baby!" Accurate, yet not exactly comforting.

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RE: Relationship Drama-Lama: Enter At Your Peril! - 3/17/2012 11:17:31 PM

RedMagic1

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I'm probably not the right person to talk to if you're looking for comfort.

Life is a series of chances we take. All we can buy for ourselves by taking those chances is an opportunity. Not certainty. Sometimes opportunities don't pan out, or end in a way we didn't anticipate.

You moved thousands of miles for love. That takes courage of conviction, which is something many people in the world just don't have. Even on CM, so many people don't even show up for first dates.

If you did it once, you can do it again, even though "it" may look completely different the next time around.

Quality people recognize quality and depth.

I think your story is beautiful.

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

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RE: Relationship Drama-Lama: Enter At Your Peril! - 3/18/2012 5:03:51 PM

QueenRah

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WestBay, sweetie,

I've learned (the hard way!) that people who are wrong for any of us will very kindly wave big, red flags right in front of us. It's our job to pay attention and act accordingly, regardless of what need or desire tell us. It's a hard lesson, but a valuable one.

Be thankful to him for teaching you a valuable life lesson, or two.

I don't guess this is much comfort, but I hope it helps you to see from a wiser perspective. You do seem like a good, sweet kid and I wish you well.

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RE: Relationship Drama-Lama: Enter At Your Peril! - 3/18/2012 5:14:49 PM

JeffBC

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Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
I'm probably not the right person to talk to if you're looking for comfort.

Life is a series of chances we take. All we can buy for ourselves by taking those chances is an opportunity. Not certainty. Sometimes opportunities don't pan out, or end in a way we didn't anticipate.

You moved thousands of miles for love. That takes courage of conviction, which is something many people in the world just don't have. Even on CM, so many people don't even show up for first dates.

If you did it once, you can do it again, even though "it" may look completely different the next time around.

Quality people recognize quality and depth.

I think your story is beautiful.

OK, especially the parts I've bolded I think are some of the most wise words I've ever read here.

WestBay.... I've avoided posting here because honestly, anything I said would simply be trite compared the grief I'm sure you're dealing with. But for what it's worth from a total stranger, I feel for you.

I agree with Red... you had the courage of your convictions... something very, very few people have. I could relate stories from my own life but suffice it to say that if you stick with that, it'll work out for you... really.

edited to add
To the point of quality people recognize quality and depth, we'll skip the question of whether or not I'm quality. But I can absolutely assert despite not being any sort of match for me, I've always read your posts and the words "quality" and "depth" would be fair enough ways to capture my responses.

< Message edited by JeffBC -- 3/18/2012 5:28:19 PM >

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RE: Relationship Drama-Lama: Enter At Your Peril! - 3/18/2012 7:45:36 PM

slaverachel2Him

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Run while you still have any assets and make a clean break. Son't throw good money/time/effort/emotions after bad

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RE: Relationship Drama-Lama: Enter At Your Peril! - 3/19/2012 6:31:09 AM

sunshinemiss

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Hi West Bay,
First of all - what courage it must take to bear your soul like this and to be honest with yourself. I commend you for your vulnerability. Secondly, I want to remind you of something. There is an awful lot going on. You don't have to decide right now. It sounds like you are giving it the respect it deserves and you are taking this slowly and working on being clear and honest. That can be difficult when emotions are high.

What strikes me is that he is in a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT culture than that of almost all posters here. You are exceedingly more qualified to read the situation than the rest of us. There are things that people do based on culture that we will have no clue on that you will completely understand or at least understand way more. An Americanized version of a culture is not the same as what you are dealing with. We can't possibly understand the way his culture impacts upon him or you or the two of you as a couple.

However people are people. He is acting within the boundaries of his culture, but he is still a man. You will need to find where you do or don't fit into that. Do you truly want to know? (Good bad or indifferent?)

Regardless of what you realize - about yourself and the relationship - please be gentle with yourself. It is a great gift to oneself to act with class and decency no matter what. Years down the road you will be able to be proud of your behavior if you do.

Best wishes,
sunshine

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