Kana
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Joined: 10/24/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: sub1986katsu
i see i see, i did take it very seriously though. I took the punishment as serious as possible, though i put it on here in a fun loose way, i see you have taken the way i wrote it a bit harsh, i was putting it in a light way i guess.. hrmmm, but i did take seriousness to teh punishment and I made a good applogy..
Grins.
I'm not trying to come off harsh-if ya took it that way, it wasn't intended so. :-)
I was just pointing out that for me, in my relationship and pretty much everyone I've been in, the physical act of the punishment is the least painful part-the real consequence is internal, those feelings of having disappointed, or worse hurt, the one they've given and dedicated themselves to is a brutal, thoroughly unpleasant thing.
Point of fact, most of the time I don't have to say a word. One look and she knows she fucked up and I don't have to do anything, because she'll pour so much internal vitriol on herself that pretty much anything I do to her is minimal in light of what she is doing to herself.
(Grins. Matter of fact, if I'm really really pissed or feeling like unusually cruel, as in "Look at what a flaming asshole I can be when I set my mind to it, " sorta mean, I don't say anything deliberately, just to watch her on the hook, twisting and in agony. I'm a real dick sometimes, know that?)
Now me, I use consequences for two reasons-1-corrective adjustments, which I've already discussed, but I also use them for 2-Absolution.
Once I've given a consequence, the act isn't mentioned again. It is not simply forgiven, it is wiped away is if it had never happened.
This is the case no matter what, unless she is consistently messing up the same thing, in which case the problem is either I'm a crappy dom, her willingness is lacking or we have a communication issue (Usually a combination of #'s 1 and 3).
Now, I can do nothing, in which case she is gonna internally rake herself over the coals until I forgive her, which sometimes is as easy as saying, "You're forgiven." Other times, acts of contrition work better. I give a consequence (Which she hopes is quick, because until then her fuck up is fair game and I can tease and heckle her all day long until she's paid the piper...and trust me, I do. I am a maestro of the verbal needle. I can make her squirm and twist with nothing but words forever.), she undergoes the corrective procedures, and then she knows her error is cleansed and said cleansing is paid for,not grudgingly given, and then she can walk free and clean away from whatever error occurred and that she is forgiven absolutely, which is a pretty good feeling.
But it don't involve beating her own "girl meat" and it certainly ain't for my pleasure...cuz you know what? I'll whisper you a secret-Kana, the big bad sadist, Mr "Huff and Puff and blow your house down then storm in and rape you blind" man, he hates punishing.
Why should I like it?
If I want to hurt her, I don't need an excuse. I just say, "Kneel and take it, bitch." I mean, WTF else own a slave if she can't make ya happy.
But punishment, now that means emotional stuff, dealing with messy feelings, having discussions (And we all know how much men hate them) and that my life, or at least my feelings, have been knocked far enough off the rail that she needs adjusting. And that sucks, because, like most folk, I prefer my days to run smooth and trouble free and I certainly don't like undergoing emotional turmoil.
So when I hear people speaking blithely re "punishment" it makes me wonder what they are discussing, cuz it sure as hell don't come anywhere close to what it works like for me, or what I've witnessed with others over the years.
< Message edited by Kana -- 2/22/2012 12:18:34 PM >
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"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST
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RE: Punishment and rewards - 
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