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honestly... - 2/25/2012 10:45:22 AM   
TheBootyMan


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...how important is honesty in these crazy relationships you folks got.....and be honest.....if you can. are you 100 % honest in yours? how about the people you play with, live with, own, etc. it seems that my dom friend cant be honest juggling so many different relationships. is that always the case? i know im not honest with all the antics im up to.
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RE: honestly... - 2/25/2012 10:46:51 AM   
kalikshama


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Your lack of honesty is apparent in your threads.

Do not tar the rest of us with your brush.

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RE: honestly... - 2/25/2012 11:00:14 AM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
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Of course it's incomprehensible to you how adults might honestly conduct themselves within kink- or anything for that matter.

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RE: honestly... - 2/25/2012 11:05:47 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
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From: Apple County NY
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My relationship isn't crazy. We've been together for almost nine years. We have a blended family. We work together. This past week we repaired the water system, the following day we went to see my father on his 85th birthday. Then we finished a job we've been doing for a client. Last night he was his bowling league, I came along and chatted to the other people and also jotted down his scores and some other stats for him. This morning we went to the grocery store.

Monday we're starting a kitchen remodel for another client. And so on. I don't know what's crazy or dishonest in just living our life.


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RE: honestly... - 2/25/2012 11:08:52 AM   
Lockit


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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheBootyMan

...how important is honesty in these crazy relationships you folks got.....and be honest.....if you can. are you 100 % honest in yours? how about the people you play with, live with, own, etc. it seems that my dom friend cant be honest juggling so many different relationships. is that always the case? i know im not honest with all the antics im up to.


ROFL... man I am loving the forums today! Dishonest man expects honesty and challenges the honesty of others because he and his don't have any. He comes in trying to push that we live crazy lives and exposes his all over the forums. It just doesn't get any better than this in comedy.

I'm sorry Ron White... get some new material or I must be a tad bit disloyal.


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RE: honestly... - 2/25/2012 11:16:36 AM   
chatterbox24


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Honesty....whats that?

Oh oh oh oh I got this one. "scratches head" Nope lost me on that one.

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RE: honestly... - 2/25/2012 11:24:28 AM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheBootyMan

are you 100 % honest in yours?


Yep. No reason not to be. And they're hardly 'crazy' relationships; they're delightful.

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RE: honestly... - 2/25/2012 11:41:12 AM   
needlesandpins


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honesty is a major thing for me. i am totally honest with him and i want him to be the same. i have huge trust issues, and i have to trust him to do what we do and be able to give myself over to him. if i don't trust him because he's being dishonest then this all stops. simple.

i stayed with my ex the first time he cheated on me because i needed to see it through and deal with it because i loved him. however, as soon as i found out he'd done it again we were done. no hesitation, no second thoughts, just finished. no trust, no nothing.

there are plenty of people in life who can't be honest with others, but i have been amazed at how many people within this, and swinging, that are dishonest. i guess you can never know for sure if someone is being completely honest with you all the time. i tell people that i will believe what they tell me so it's up to them to tell me the truth. if they don't then they can fuck off and deal with what they have caused by lying to me.

needles

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RE: honestly... - 2/25/2012 12:26:47 PM   
JeffBC


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Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
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I've seen the honesty thing come up before. I'm afraid that just like always, I fail the 100% honest test. I also fail the 100% honorable test and the 100% good test. I remain sadly flawed. What I can say is that through our 16 years together I have obviously demonstrated enough honesty, honor and integrity for Carol to assess me as a respect-worthy individual.

Like always, real life defeats absolutes.

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RE: honestly... - 2/25/2012 12:40:50 PM   
Casteele


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From: Near Sacramento, California, USA
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One thing I want to point out, there's no point in criticizing the OP about posting a thread on honesty when they are not honest themselves--Their post even tells you outright they are not being honest with their antics. Kindda like telling a blind man he cannot see. (And at worst, he'll just laugh and point out that clearly, you are the one who cannot see..)

But to turn this blatant troll into a real topic.. :-P

Honesty and clarity are really different things, as is objectivity. I know many people who truly believe they are being honest with themselves and others. Yet, myself and others see things in them that are contradictory to what they believe. I do not consider these people to be dishonest, just not seeing things as clearly due to personal involvement. (I'm not talking about those who delude themselves, justify themselves, or simply choose not to see the truth because they do not like it; Just the people who truly and honestly believe they are being objective when they are not.)

Look at it from the other perspective.. If someone lies, we tend to frame the liar as a bad person. But what about the person who believes the lie? Are they a bad person for believing? Is it dishonest of them to believe something untrue? Even when it's very apparent they simply want to believe the lie that they choose to ignore the facts. We only hold that against them in the end when they reject our attempts to "enlighten" them; Only then do we call them "dishonest" with themselves. Almost as if to say, they were not being dishonest with themselves prior to attempts at enlightenment.

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RE: honestly... - 2/25/2012 12:47:13 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
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We don't really play with others so it's a moot point and we're both honest completely with each other. It's required for both of us to have a relationship with each other. Anything less and we wouldn't be together. It's that simple. For us it's not difficult at all, probably because we lead pretty dull lives lol...no drama thank gawd.


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RE: honestly... - 2/25/2012 12:48:57 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
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Aww... bootyman and I go way back... well, at least to the start of the week. This is more a game than anything serious. I can't help it, he makes me laugh. If he gets something out of it, so be it. This is what he came for.

Vomit...

I actually think he likes when we turn his nonsense into something serious and worthwhile, it seems to give him merit he uses elsewhere. lol


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RE: honestly... - 2/25/2012 1:51:27 PM   
sinsualtorture


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Joined: 2/12/2012
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I like honesty. It is much easier than lying. You don't have to waste time coming up with something acceptable. There is no need to justify it or back it up with other lies to keep up the front. It is much easier if you have CRS.
I choose truth because it is logical.
I don't see the relevance in your statement of juggling relationships. I have family. I have friends. I have had sexual relationships. I don't lie to them, but I also don't see the need to tell my family or friends I have a kinky twisted sex life. Not being explicit about sexuality to all and sundry is not being dishonest UNLESS you are not being truthful about having others in your sexual life when they might believe you are only theirs.

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RE: honestly... - 2/25/2012 2:08:15 PM   
MDomCouple


Posts: 90
Joined: 2/15/2012
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In my relationships, BDSM-related or otherwise, I expect honesty and give it in return. I can accept "I don't want to talk about that" or "That is personal, please don't ask." I can accept nearly any reason someone has for not wanting to tell me something. But, if you open your mouth to tell me something, I expect honesty. If you are dishonest with me about little things, I can't trust that you aren't going to be dishonest about the big things. I do the same thing in return. If I tell you something, you can be assured it is the truth. If I don't want you to know something, I will just tell you that I don't want to talk about it. There are ways to keep one's private information and feelings private without lying.

I think this is especially true in BDSM relationships. It takes an immense amount of trust for a Dom and sub to do some of the kinky things we on here do. If there is not trust, then I don't see the point.

Just my opinion though.

(in reply to sinsualtorture)
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RE: honestly... - 2/25/2012 2:09:51 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheBootyMan

...how important is honesty in these crazy relationships you folks got.....and be honest.....if you can. are you 100 % honest in yours?

I'm a flawed human being, but I do my best to be honest at all times. I expect the same of the people I associate with, either as platonic friends or those who I'm in "relationships" with. I quote relationships, because having someone as a friend is also being in a type of relationship with them - a friends relationship - but you know what I mean I'm sure. What's the point in lying and then having to come up with more lies to cover up your initial lies? It makes no sense to me. Plus, I couldn't live with myself if I lied.

NBMG

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RE: honestly... - 2/25/2012 2:16:38 PM   
angelikaJ


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Joined: 6/22/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheBootyMan

...how important is honesty in these crazy relationships you folks got.....and be honest.....if you can. are you 100 % honest in yours? how about the people you play with, live with, own, etc. it seems that my dom friend cant be honest juggling so many different relationships. is that always the case? i know im not honest with all the antics im up to.


Are you saying your dom friend is engaging in poly-fuckery and lies about it?
Why are you not honest in your antics?

The truth is so much simpler.

Honesty is expected in my relationship on both sides of the kneel.


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RE: honestly... - 2/25/2012 2:19:03 PM   
amaidiamond


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From: Watford / London
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Honesty is important to me.

I am not perfect, i am human but I always try to be the best i can be, be that regarding honesty or anything else...

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RE: honestly... - 2/25/2012 2:19:27 PM   
DarkSteven


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I am a Dom. If I were dishonest, it would mean that I can't handle my own image. There is no way that anyone could trust me then.

If a sub is dishonest with me, that's always meant that she didn't want to submit to me and trust my judgment. It's been her trying to manipulate me through falsehoods. Generally, she misjudged my reaction and had undesired consequences, and never good ones. A sub's dishonesty has been the grounds for breaking off a relationship.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: honestly... - 2/25/2012 2:33:02 PM   
ResidentSadist


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I am too damn lazy to make up lies. The truth is so much easier, even when it is brutal. I was way too old to give a fuck what people thought by the time I was 16 years old and I demand honesty from my friends and family.

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RE: honestly... - 2/25/2012 2:46:59 PM   
Alacrity


Posts: 40
Joined: 5/14/2005
Status: offline
In the long run honesty, and integrity, is much better. I may slip on the small things, but NEVER on the the big important issues.

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