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RE: honestly... - 2/25/2012 5:11:33 PM

TheBootyMan

Posts: 75
Status: offline

Well, that's just it. She tells me that she is not engaging in polyfuckery
(great word), that all the men parading through our doors are either friends only or slaves that do not get any sexy time with her. Being a complete horn dog I am having a hard time buying that all of these dudes, bowing to her every whim, arent getting some of that sweet vagine for their efforts. Then again, I do whatever I can for her too and I'm not getting the prize either....not yet anyway, hey now. I did tell her that I wanted to know everything and she said no, not going to happen. When I said to her that that was a problem, she said yeah, my problem. So that is why I asked the question, she prefers a don't ask, don't tell situation apparently. Is that common with people in the d/s world or maybe just people in the polyfuckery world because I guess me being a serial philanderer that is the world I'm in and I always seem to be lying trying to keep all the gals happy.

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheBootyMan

...how important is honesty in these crazy relationships you folks got.....and be honest.....if you can. are you 100 % honest in yours? how about the people you play with, live with, own, etc. it seems that my dom friend cant be honest juggling so many different relationships. is that always the case? i know im not honest with all the antics im up to.

Are you saying your dom friend is engaging in poly-fuckery and lies about it?
Why are you not honest in your antics?

The truth is so much simpler.

Honesty is expected in my relationship on both sides of the kneel.

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 21

RE: honestly... - 2/25/2012 5:38:34 PM

kdsub

Posts: 12180
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline

I think people who claim they are always honest are lying or fooling themselves. Dishonesty is not always bad…it is often used to easy the pain of others.

Of course there are degrees in all human emotions and actions. If the dishonestly is used in the wrong way too often then when discovered, which it most always is, it will destroy a relationship.

So although useful and necessary, dishonestly should be used rarely and carefully and for the right reasons.

Butch

< Message edited by kdsub -- 2/25/2012 5:49:50 PM >

_____________________________

Mark Twain:

I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome; variety is pleasing

(in reply to TheBootyMan)

Post #: 22

RE: honestly... - 2/25/2012 6:05:28 PM

TheBootyMan

Posts: 75
Status: offline

Yes, indeed we go way back. Speaking of honesty, remember you asked for my friends phone number and I took the time and effort to email it to you all to find out later you were jerking me around? You certainly showed who was the dishonest one there. Too bad your friends covered for you and conveniently deleted that thread.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Aww... bootyman and I go way back... well, at least to the start of the week. This is more a game than anything serious. I can't help it, he makes me laugh. If he gets something out of it, so be it. This is what he came for.

Vomit...

I actually think he likes when we turn his nonsense into something serious and worthwhile, it seems to give him merit he uses elsewhere. lol

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 23

RE: honestly... - 2/25/2012 6:15:49 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

Since you answered this way
Not all dommes have sex with their slaves.
However, I find it interesting that you don't like the fact that she might not be forthcoming with you, when you, in your "philandering" are likely lying to her.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheBootyMan

Well, that's just it. She tells me that she is not engaging in polyfuckery
(great word), that all the men parading through our doors are either friends only or slaves that do not get any sexy time with her. Being a complete horn dog I am having a hard time buying that all of these dudes, bowing to her every whim, arent getting some of that sweet vagine for their efforts. Then again, I do whatever I can for her too and I'm not getting the prize either....not yet anyway, hey now. I did tell her that I wanted to know everything and she said no, not going to happen. When I said to her that that was a problem, she said yeah, my problem. So that is why I asked the question, she prefers a don't ask, don't tell situation apparently. Is that common with people in the d/s world or maybe just people in the polyfuckery world because I guess me being a serial philanderer that is the world I'm in and I always seem to be lying trying to keep all the gals happy.

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

Are you saying your dom friend is engaging in poly-fuckery and lies about it?
Why are you not honest in your antics?

The truth is so much simpler.

Honesty is expected in my relationship on both sides of the kneel.

_____________________________

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(in reply to TheBootyMan)

Post #: 24

RE: honestly... - 2/25/2012 6:24:07 PM

TheBootyMan

Posts: 75
Status: offline

It's not that I don't like it, I offered a tell all relationship and she refused is all. For me I thought being completely honest with at least one person would be refreshing and would help us to grow closer but she isn't ready for that, perhaps she will never be after hiding her secret world for so long. I guess almost everyone here is hiding secrets from someone.

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 25

RE: honestly... - 2/25/2012 6:48:50 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

It may not be hiding but protecting her other friends and lovers. You don't have the right to know who they are unless they agree to that.

Until you both sit down and agree to a committed relationship where you have the right to know what the other is doing, you don't have that right. It's obvious that she doesn't want such a relationship with you.

If what you're getting from this relationship is enough for you, then stay in it. If you need something else, then move on. But staying in it, doing the same things while expecting a different result is insane.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to TheBootyMan)

Post #: 26

RE: honestly... - 2/25/2012 6:56:00 PM

TheBootyMan

Posts: 75
Status: offline

Thanks desfip, that's good advice. I was thinking that complete honesty would be best, but maybe it's not at this stage in our relationship, maybe it will never be the best way.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 27

RE: honestly... - 2/25/2012 8:03:12 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheBootyMan

Yes, indeed we go way back. Speaking of honesty, remember you asked for my friends phone number and I took the time and effort to email it to you all to find out later you were jerking me around? You certainly showed who was the dishonest one there. Too bad your friends covered for you and conveniently deleted that thread.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Aww... bootyman and I go way back... well, at least to the start of the week. This is more a game than anything serious. I can't help it, he makes me laugh. If he gets something out of it, so be it. This is what he came for.

Vomit...

I actually think he likes when we turn his nonsense into something serious and worthwhile, it seems to give him merit he uses elsewhere. lol

If the thread hadn't been removed, I could prove I didn't lie. I told you to send me his number. I never said I would call. I was just trying to calm you down... hey... the whole thread went away. Apparently I wasn't the only one that knew you were fucking around. You made some wild implications about some famous people and even mentioned real names... for which you later admitted it wasn't all quite what you made everyone think. Which is basically what I did after you repeatedly tried to pull off your little games in different threads. You came to get someone to cater to some kink for a friend or yourself. You walked right into it, seeing as though my first post on that thread let you know I wasn't taking you seriously.

I might have worked your ass, just as you were trying to work everyone else, but with lies. That I am guilty of.

_____________________________

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(in reply to TheBootyMan)

Post #: 28

RE: honestly... - 2/25/2012 8:10:06 PM

TheBootyMan

Posts: 75
Status: offline

Nah, you're guilty of revisionist history I believe it's called. No worries. I like you, you just don't believe people I guess. You got trust issues maybe? Now that you brought it up, my friend is going to make a profile here soon in hopes of finding someone who shares his fetish. If you still think I'm full of it why not give that number a call and speak to the most famous emetophile in the world? You afraid of people with different lifestyles than you perhaps? I'm not.

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 29

RE: honestly... - 2/25/2012 8:19:25 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

ROFL...

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to TheBootyMan)

Post #: 30

RE: honestly... - 2/25/2012 8:23:27 PM

TheBootyMan

Posts: 75
Status: offline

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 31

RE: honestly... - 2/25/2012 9:31:30 PM

CRYPTICLXVI

Posts: 3907
Status: offline

I have found that those who are strongly opinionated about always needing honesty, tend to either be big liars or those who omit quite a bit.
Honesty is closely tied to trust, which is important in relationships, regardless of how they are framed. Now, dealing with a lack of trust which is bound to a created sense of reality is...ooops, did I type that online?

Trust me, I'm being honest.

(in reply to TheBootyMan)

Post #: 32

RE: honestly... - 2/26/2012 3:58:28 AM

RaspberryLemon

Posts: 422
Joined: 7/18/2011
Status: offline

Honesty and openness is essential in my relationship with my Master. He and I are both 100% honest with each other at all times, even when feelings may be hurt--lying to make someone feel better is pointless and gets you nowhere, and I believe it is highly counterproductive to actual closeness. I don't lie to him, he doesn't lie to me. Ever. I don't omit things nor do I keep any secrets from him. He does not omit things or keep secrets from me. Ever. To each other we are open books, and we believe that dealing with things in this way is absolutely necessary to establishing and maintaining the closeness and trust that we have on such a deep and complete level.

I believe those that I care about deserve the truth and they deserve honesty, just as I feel I deserve it from them. I am, however, not infallible. I never lie or keep secrets from my Master, because that works wonderfully for our relationship and it wouldn't work otherwise. But I sadly cannot say the same about other relationships at times. Bluntness is always preferable to me, but I cannot maintain the level of trust and closeness I have with my Master so completely with everyone in my life. There are occasions in which being slightly gentler in my words than what I truly believe is something I must do to maintain certain relationships with hypersensitive individuals (certain family members--you can choose your romantic partner and your friends, but you are stuck with the family you've got...I can't (or rather, don't want to) simply destroy these relationships with a zero-tolerance policy to dishonesty on my part. It is occasionally necessary to censor myself to avoid burning bridges here.) It pains me to know that at times I was dishonest with these people who are important to me, but for these relationships I have occasionally found it necessary when complete bluntness and honesty was not an option. That being said, whenever I can, I am always honest, even if said honesty faces me with conflict.

I would say that, in general, I am a very honest person. I try my best to maintain that in all areas of my life without burning bridges. It is regrettable when this is not possible, and I always feel as if I have failed as a person when the occasion arises in which I feel it necessary to choose omission or dishonesty over absolute truth. I strive to be someone who can be completely honest with everyone, all the time. Perhaps one day I will figure out a way to accomplish this without ruining certain family relationships, perhaps not. I can only try and hope for the best here, and understand that nobody is perfect.

(in reply to CRYPTICLXVI)

Post #: 33

RE: honestly... - 2/26/2012 5:50:18 AM

Kaliko

Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CRYPTICLXVI

I have found that those who are strongly opinionated about always needing honesty, tend to either be big liars or those who omit quite a bit.

I agree. I have a theory (though I don't believe it's actually mine - I'm sure someone, somewhere has said it before) that what we dislike in others is what we dislike most in ourselves.

(in reply to CRYPTICLXVI)

Post #: 34

RE: honestly... - 2/26/2012 6:00:06 AM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko

quote:

ORIGINAL: CRYPTICLXVI

I have found that those who are strongly opinionated about always needing honesty, tend to either be big liars or those who omit quite a bit.

I agree. I have a theory (though I don't believe it's actually mine - I'm sure someone, somewhere has said it before) that what we dislike in others is what we dislike most in ourselves.

I'd have to disagree. I think that something that is important enough to be a personal goal is what is looked for in another. To me, it's simply a matching of common interests because people are generally more comfortable with others like him or her.

(in reply to Kaliko)

Post #: 35

RE: honestly... - 2/26/2012 8:43:24 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I don't think that contradicts us disliking in others what we dislike in ourselves. Anyway, the op isn't at a point in this relationship where he can demand that this woman tells him everything he wants to know. Just like you can't demand another person declares themselves your slave after the second email.

Well, you can, but it doesn't end well. He's demanding stuff he doesn't have the right to demand. Hell, if he wants complete honesty why isn't he offering up his credit card? Because it would be inappropriate. Just as him demanding details about her other friends/lovers when they haven't discussed taking the relationship to a commitment of that order is inappropriate.

To sum it up, op, she isn't lying to you. She's simply saying it's none of your business. You have two choices here; accept her parameters or find someone else. Making her out to be a liar isn't the way to grow a healthy relationship. You sound like a kid stamping his feet. It's never a good thing to do.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to lizi)

Post #: 36

RE: honestly... - 2/26/2012 9:55:27 AM

TheBootyMan

Posts: 75
Status: offline

I hear ya. It's difficult for me how slow things are progressing. We cuddle for an hour and it's torture for me her warm beautiful body so close and yet so far away.I try and get a kiss as i leave and there is hell to pay. She gets her needs met As i comfort her, what about mine? I ain't another friggin slave of hers but I feel I am being treated that way as she "teaches" me what she expects and I get scolded when I fuck up. Lovely woman but I'm not sure I'm cut out for the role she apparently wants me to play.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 37

RE: honestly... - 2/26/2012 9:59:19 AM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko

quote:

ORIGINAL: CRYPTICLXVI

I have found that those who are strongly opinionated about always needing honesty, tend to either be big liars or those who omit quite a bit.

I agree. I have a theory (though I don't believe it's actually mine - I'm sure someone, somewhere has said it before) that what we dislike in others is what we dislike most in ourselves.

I call that "You spot it, you got it" syndrome!

_____________________________

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HST

(in reply to Kaliko)

Post #: 38

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