RE: BBW

RE: BBW (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master

Message

sublizzie -> RE: BBW (6/3/2006 7:29:19 AM)
I've found that Doms who are concerned about my weight have issues I don't want to deal with. Doms who are NOT concerned about my weight have other issues. There are some real, upfront, nice guys who enjoy the submissive that I am. There are others who are willing to ignore my size because they just want some sex-on-the-side. That's not something I'm looking for, myself. I'm learning to say "no" and have an "f--- you!" attitude, finally. It's not something innate for me. But I'm getting quite good at it.

Mistrix -> RE: BBW (6/3/2006 7:38:20 AM)
IMHO, I know that being overweight is NOT healthy. I was overweight for a long time. 200+ and worked hard to get stronger and healthier. My back hurt and my bowels weren't well either. It seemed I was always sweating and my clothes didn't fit right. I couldn't walk as fast as the rest of them and my thighs rubbed together. Now since I have lost the weight, I feel lighter, healthier, stronger and my self esteem is much brighter. If a Dom prefers that you lose weight, wouldn't you accept that as a concern for you? I would never say that a BBW is an ugly one because of her weight but I'm going to say that it's healthy. I have many friends that are BBW and they are always trying to lose a couple of pounds or quit smoking or whatever. It's an ongoing battle. They are happy but tend to want to be stronger physically. With that being said, I hope you don't take this offensivley..[:D]

Tikkiee -> RE: BBW (6/3/2006 7:46:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: enigmabrat Can I ask what is the problem Doms have with BBW's why is it that every Master that considers me offers me his consideration with the stipulation of loseing waight if you dont like what you see why bother, why enter a relationship when there is something you want to change right away?? I agree with what MsMacComb said but would also like to point out that there are actually some here who suggest losing weight in regards to being healthy. They are few and far between, but there are some.

kittensmailbox -> RE: BBW (6/3/2006 7:49:47 AM)
i for one love when a Dom steps in to kick my ass to get back into shape.... Granted i love who i am, however if the Dom knows i can look better and feel better i say lets hit it...

bklynbbw -> RE: BBW (6/3/2006 7:51:23 AM)
Hang in there hun...there are a lot of Doms that like us "full figured" women. <<smile>> I have yet to have one tell me I HAD to lose weight before they would be with me. If they did...next ! For health and comfort reasons, I would like to lose some weight....but not because it was demanded of me. So far the men I have interacted with loved my "curves" things didnt go further because of other reasons...good luck to you.

Cristalin -> RE: BBW (6/3/2006 8:14:48 AM)
i am what i am....a real and genuine bbw....a novice sub...i have a lot to learn and hopefully someday i`ll become the submissive i need to be to fullfill my destiny...i strive perfection in my surrender...to be able to do it i need to be fit and healthy...this might mean to loose weight...not because somebody barks orders to me or because he demands so, but because it is the best way to achieve my goal...beside this, i love my body as it is, even if it isn`t perfect...and i wouldn`t let anyone to belittle me or disconsider me for what i really am...a real and genuine bbw...i wish you succes girl in your search

ehlovindom -> RE: BBW (6/3/2006 8:20:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsMacComb My experience is that the majority of men that have a weight standard are overweight themselves, or have a little penis, or no income, or some sort of complex issues that you don't want to be involved with anyway. With respect, I am glad that you prefaced that comment by saying it is YOUR experience because I don't think that generalization holds true. (And I am sorry that it has been your experience but judging from your comments, you are more than capable of taking care of yourself!) I believe this topic is discussed at least once per week and will probably continue to be for lifetimes to come because it has to do with culture and preferences. There are some men who adore BBWs or larger women. There are some women who adore plus size men. The majority of us raised in North America fall into the categories of taller man + shorter women and larger man + smaller women. Whether this is right or wrong, that is the way it is and I don't see it changing anytime soon. No matter what I do, my height will always remain the same and that eliminates the interest of many women, irregardless of how wealthy I am ( [:D] ) I can change my hair style, shave my beard, lose or gain weight but I can't change my height. Of course those are physical attributes and have little to do with who you are and your knowledge of the world, ability to make conversation and laugh and love. So, one can change their weight which isn't always easy and will always fluctuate, whether you do it for health reasons or for someone else, although I would say that if you were to do such a thing, you do it for YOURSELF. As for enigmabrat's encounters with weight obsessed doms, the advice is very clear, just move on. If all they want to do is have you lose weight, then what is it they are interested in? However, I have chatted with a few women who have gone into a relationship with a Dom who was interested in them, and part of their relationship included her working out and losing weight. Of course, that meant he had to stay in shape as well! Sorry for the long and rambling paragraph but I just got back from the gym and even my brain is tired!

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: BBW (6/3/2006 8:44:59 AM)
Why do fat women keep getting so riled up about other people not liking fat women? I'm fat, life goes on.

Tikkiee -> RE: BBW (6/3/2006 9:10:36 AM)
quote: The likelihood of a relationship working long-term is inversely proportional to how often the relationship is announced and how many professions of adoration are made about eachother in public. Ok LuckyAlbatross, I love that little saying. Nicely worded [:)]

enigmabrat -> RE: BBW (6/3/2006 12:12:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JohnSteed1967 "Can I ask what is the problem Doms have with BBW's why is it that every Master that considers me offers me his consideration with the stipulation of loseing weight " Who are these Dom's So I can Beat the living Shit out of them??? I am a BHM and I LOVE and ADORE BBW!!!! I wish more thought like you There seem to be a lot of them in NY and it kinda pisses me off, Id really like to know were all the NY BBW lovers are do they exist.

enigmabrat -> RE: BBW (6/3/2006 12:16:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mistrix IMHO, I know that being overweight is NOT healthy. I was overweight for a long time. 200+ and worked hard to get stronger and healthier. My back hurt and my bowels weren't well either. It seemed I was always sweating and my clothes didn't fit right. I couldn't walk as fast as the rest of them and my thighs rubbed together. Now since I have lost the weight, I feel lighter, healthier, stronger and my self esteem is much brighter. If a Dom prefers that you lose weight, wouldn't you accept that as a concern for you? I would never say that a BBW is an ugly one because of her weight but I'm going to say that it's healthy. I have many friends that are BBW and they are always trying to lose a couple of pounds or quit smoking or whatever. It's an ongoing battle. They are happy but tend to want to be stronger physically. With that being said, I hope you don't take this offensivley..[:D] I am on jenny craig and I have lost a total of 23 lbs in the last 3 months, but Im doing it for me. I dont want to wait the 2 years it will take me to lose the rest of the waight to first start getting involved with a Dom I want a Dom that will love all of me and just see me loseing waight as something on the side NOT as the stipulation with wich he picks me, because what if something happens and I stop loseing waight. I am on heavy meds that make me gain waight so I have to fight extra hard for every pound I shed!! I want someone to love me for me

enigmabrat -> RE: BBW (6/3/2006 12:21:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Why do fat women keep getting so riled up about other people not liking fat women? I'm fat, life goes on. No but it just pisses me off and I have had enough!!! It was bad enough beeing picked on in school by othe classmates but gawd you would think by the time one was old enough to be here they wouod be mature enough to look past that. It is so sad that that isnt so

Mistrix -> RE: BBW (6/3/2006 12:59:58 PM)
Congrats to you losing 23 lbs!! May your journey to your health begin. I know how it feels to work extra hard to lose weight. I myself used to be on heavy meds too. But with determination and perisistance and self discipline it's possible to have a lighter body weight. One thing I must remember is this, the more of an issue I make with my body weight and other shortcomings that come with my body image, the more other people will notice and comment. I'm the choicemaker in all of my life and I have to be positive either way. Stick with the winners.

Jean1962 -> RE: BBW (6/3/2006 1:04:26 PM)
enigma, you may or may not like my attitude and response, but here goes nothing. You can lose all the weight you wish...(and I sincerely hope you do well and are happy with it)...but if you don't pay attention to the mental aspects, you're always going to feel fat. It's as important to lose the weight mentally as physically, and that takes time. I had a sub once....amazing young man...who when we met, was 5'8'' and weighed in at about 360 pounds. He lied to me about his appearance and weight, knowing we'd meet. I was torqued at the lies, but accepted the person. He's a good guy! We worked on the weight issue, he sought a doctor's guidance, worked his butt off, hired a personal trainer and in one year, had lost one HALF his body weight. He was down to 180, with a BMI of 21, and still, he saw the fat boy in the mirror. That took his dealing with a counselor, examining the underlying reasons (emotional /food was his friend type stuff), coming to grips with the insecurities that led him to overeat in the first place. Now he's this amazing man who is hot hot hot to look at, who works out and plays and lives life with zest, eats reasonable meals, has real friends instead of edible friends, and learned to like himself for who he is. Sometimes he still expects to see the fat kid when he passes a mirror....but that's getting better. So do with your body as you see fit, enigma, but if you're planning on losing weight, do pay attention to the emotional aspects of it, and try not to let yourself get disheartened if it doesn't magically cure all your fears and insecurities.

enigmabrat -> RE: BBW (6/3/2006 1:10:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jean1962 enigma, you may or may not like my attitude and response, but here goes nothing. You can lose all the weight you wish...(and I sincerely hope you do well and are happy with it)...but if you don't pay attention to the mental aspects, you're always going to feel fat. It's as important to lose the weight mentally as physically, and that takes time. I had a sub once....amazing young man...who when we met, was 5'8'' and weighed in at about 360 pounds. He lied to me about his appearance and weight, knowing we'd meet. I was torqued at the lies, but accepted the person. He's a good guy! We worked on the weight issue, he sought a doctor's guidance, worked his butt off, hired a personal trainer and in one year, had lost one HALF his body weight. He was down to 180, with a BMI of 21, and still, he saw the fat boy in the mirror. That took his dealing with a counselor, examining the underlying reasons (emotional /food was his friend type stuff), coming to grips with the insecurities that led him to overeat in the first place. Now he's this amazing man who is hot hot hot to look at, who works out and plays and lives life with zest, eats reasonable meals, has real friends instead of edible friends, and learned to like himself for who he is. Sometimes he still expects to see the fat kid when he passes a mirror....but that's getting better. So do with your body as you see fit, enigma, but if you're planning on losing weight, do pay attention to the emotional aspects of it, and try not to let yourself get disheartened if it doesn't magically cure all your fears and insecurities. trust me I know I have been battling my demons for years, I do have an eating disorder wich makes things hard but I have it mostly under controll, I am happy with me and loseing waight is for my health nothing more

sweetbbwsub31 -> RE: BBW (6/3/2006 4:37:57 PM)
I am a BBW and have found that there are plenty of Doms that like us. Now, finding a respectful gentleman is the issue I am having. It takes time. Good luck on your weight loss journey. I have lost 100 and kept it off for 5 years but still need to take more off. Do it for yourself and only for yourself. sub tara

LadyScarlett -> RE: BBW (6/3/2006 5:08:30 PM)
I asked a friend of mine once who is incredibly in shape and runs seven miles a day why he liked Me as a BBW since he was so health conscious. He explaned that he liked all types of women and the BBWs made love differently than skinny women. It was a revelation to me. I dont understand the difference obviously, I only have one perspective but it was enlightening for Me. Lady Scarlett

SweetSarijane -> RE: BBW (6/3/2006 6:01:04 PM)
I'm considered bbw as well. At one point I was well over 300 lbs. I've dropped 85 lbs, feel a lot better physically and emotionally and I'm doing it for ME, because I want to and not because someone says I have to in order to be acceptable. I am loved and accepted as I am by family, friends, and the one interested in me. I continue to work on getting the rest of the weight off at my pace wanting to tone up as I lose. I diet and belong to a gym. When a Dom contacts a bbw sub and says weight must be lost in order for her to be acceptable as his sub, my reaction and response is along the lines of, if a bbw is not what you're looking for then why are you contacting them in the first place? Contact what does interest you.

Carameldomme -> RE: BBW (6/3/2006 10:15:41 PM)
I'd guess there are several reasons a Dom would stipulate weightloss. The bigger issue I see is in the sub being comfortable with herself and accepting herself as is and as she hopes to be in the future. I think it's the subs discomfort and defensiveness that make this such an issue. IF a Dom requires the weight loss prior to getting together, keep it moving. He has to be able to love and accept you as is, and I can't see anyone putting in all that work for a stranger in HOPES of a relationship. If a Dom will require weight loss on the part of His sub, that's another matter. I know it feels different b/c of the stigma and emotional turmoil attached to the fat, but if it were any other physical change, would it be a big deal? If a Dom insisted that his sub had a belly piercing, a brand, a tatoo, corset training, a certain haircut or color.. would it be such a dealbreaker, would it hurt? If one is attached to the fat, and wishes to keep it, fine- just know those Doms aren't right for you. I'm not a sub, so my perspective may not be on point, but I would hope that if I was, and my Dom wanted me to do something to change my appearance, I would do it FOR HIM because I love him and love to serve him in whatever capacity he desires (excepting moral and health conflicts). To me, a sub is a jewel, and a Dom who loves his sub will ensure that she is doing healthy things for herself (like losing weight, not smoking etc) so he will have her around to treasure a little longer.

WinterWolf -> RE: BBW (6/3/2006 11:00:15 PM)
I'm in North Carolina and see MANY bbw with good Dom's, so I know they are out there. I look past the weight and see the sub inside. When she is under my control, I take in mind her health and everything about her. If a dom is telling you a sub that they have to lose weight to be with them, they are saying "I can only see what is on the outside, and don't care about receiving that special gift of submission."

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875