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But my situation is what turns me on. Her orders and the fact that I have sacrificed my orgasms to her are what turns me on. Is my desire to masturbate not a tribute to her? Is not the fact that I am obeying proof that I am putting her desires before my own? Should I feel ashamed for wanting to masturbate? Is it actually possible to remove the desire to masturbate?

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ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

I may be a man, because when I was told not to masturbate, I stayed in a constant state of arousal. Knowing I could not do it, and knowing it was because he told me not to and he had that control, kept me wet.

I never did go against his orders. I do remember the first time he had me not masturbate for a month. When we got together and he asked me if I had obeyed, I told him yes I had. Then I confessed about my constant arousal during the entire time. I was so afraid that I had screwed up, because I thought I should have not had any sexual feelings.

He grinned big time at my confession. He had known that I would have the response I did, and it had been what he wanted.

So, OP, talk to your D person. This may be part of the plan. IMHO, as long as you do not disobey, you are serving the relationship.