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The Liberal Platform - 3/10/2012 5:26:30 AM   
DaddySatyr


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I didn't write it but, I did weed out some of the ridiculous stuff and change a few references (for chronology's sake)

1) Drug addiction is a disease that should be treated with compassion and understanding unless the addict is a Conservative talk show host.

2) Women shouldn't be referred to as "twat", "cunt" or "slut" unless she's not a liberal.

3) The United States should be subservient to the United Nations. Our highest authority is not God and the U.S. Constitution, but a collective of tin-pot dictators (and their appeasers) and the U.N. charter.

4) Government should relax drug laws regardless of the potential for abuse, but should pass new and unconstitutional anti-gun laws because of the potential for abuse.

5) Calls for increased security after a terrorist attack are “political opportunism,” but calls for more gun control after a criminal’s spree killing is “a logical solution.”

6) Disarming innocent, law-abiding citizens helps protect them from evil, lawless, terrorists and other thugs.

7) Slowly killing an unborn innocent by tearing it apart limb from limb is good but quickly killing terrorists, convicted murderers and rapists is BAD.

8) Every religion should be respected and promoted in public schools in the name of diversity, so long as that religion isn’t Christianity.

9) Sex education should be required so that teens can make informed choices about sex, but gun education should be banned because it will turn those same teens into maniacal mass-murderers.

10) The Patriot Act is a horrific compromise of Constitutional rights, but anti-Second Amendment laws and Franklin Roosevelt’s Presidential Order 9066 must be regarded “reasonable precautions.”

11) Interning Americans and legal immigrants to make sure that they don't give aid and comfort to the enemy is a good thing (FDR) but interning terrorists and terrorist allies (including those with expired visas) so they can't give aid and comfort to the enemy is a bad thing (Bush-Gitmo).

12) Michael Moore, Noam Chomsky and Natalie Maines are perfectly qualified to criticize our leadership, but Arnold Schwarzenegger, Charlton Heston, and Dennis Miller are just ignorant political hacks.

13) John Lott’s research on how gun ownership reduces crime is "junk science", but Michael Bellesiles is still an authority on why gun control is good (even though he was forced to resign from Emory due to research misconduct over his book “Arming America”).

14) Bush’s toppling the Saddam regime was a “diversion,” but Clinton’s lobbing a couple of cruise missiles at Iraq in the thick of the Lewinsky sex scandal was “sending a message.”

15) A president who lies under oath is okay, but a president who references sixteen words from an ally's intelligence report should be dragged through the streets naked.

16) “The People” in the First Amendment means The People. “The People” in the Fourth Amendment means The People. “The People” in the Ninth Amendment means The People. “The People” in the Tenth Amendment means The People but “The People” in the Second Amendment (ratified in 1791) means the National Guard (created by an Act of Congress in 1903).

17) You support a woman’s “right to choose” to kill her unborn child, but don’t believe that same woman is competent enough to home school or decide to privately school the children she bears.

18) Everyone must unquestioningly support a junior senator with negligible political experience for president. If you don’t, it’s because you’re a racist.

19) All cultures must be treated as equal. This is why we have to make excuses for Muslims when they riot, rape and slaughter, but vilify Christians when they organize letter-writing campaigns or seek remedy through the courts.

20) Being against illegal immigration is racist; ignoring the fact that illegal isn’t a race.

21) Congress must create a “Fairness Doctrine” to counter the commercial success of conservative talk radio and the resounding failure of Air America. (Never mind that we already have a government-subsidized liberal mouthpiece called National Public Radio.)

22) Everyone has the right to disagree, but only if they don’t disagree with us.

23) if you possess a "Y" chromosome, your intent is to subjugate women (unless you're a liberal).



Peace and comfort,



Michael


< Message edited by DaddySatyr -- 3/10/2012 6:20:22 AM >


_____________________________

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RE: The Liberal Platform - 3/10/2012 5:37:47 AM   
Owner59


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In other words......

_____________________________

"As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals"

President Obama

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RE: The Liberal Platform - 3/10/2012 6:06:27 AM   
Edwynn


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr
3) The United States should be subservient to the United Nations. Our highest authority is not God and the U.S. Constitution, but a collective of tin-pot dictators (and their appeasers) and the U.N. charter.


You are behind the times. Liberals support only brass-pot dictators for over 20 years now.

quote:

4) Government should relax drug laws regardless of the potential for abuse, but should pass new and unconstitutional anti-gun laws because of the potential for abuse.


Wait, can't we find medium ground on this thing? I naively thought that's what "smoking gun" referred to. I got the empty chamber if you got the weed.

quote:

8) Every religion should be respected and promoted in public schools in the name of diversity, so long as that religion isn’t Christianity.


Yes. Praise Allah, as taught in every kindergarten. The "morning Mecca" program has done wonders for our kids.

quote:

9) Sex education should be required so that teens can make informed choices about sex, but gun education should be banned because it will turn those same teens into maniacal mass-murderers.


Completely unnecessary on the gun education for mass murderers. Every mass school shooter thus far had all their gun education taught at home. And bathroom sex ed has served just fine so far, no need for it in the classroom.

quote:

15) A president who lies under oath is okay, but a president who references sixteen words from an ally's intelligence report should be dragged through the streets naked.


This is news for many of us. We never knew that impeachment was a stamp of approval.

quote:

18) Everyone must unquestioningly support a junior senator with negligible political experience for president. If you don’t, it’s because you’re a racist.


I fully support every Boraxo salesman's right to be President of the United States, I've been clear on that all along.





(in reply to DaddySatyr)
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RE: The Liberal Platform - 3/10/2012 6:31:41 AM   
TheHeretic


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American citizens who assemble peaceably to petetition the government for redress of grievances by wearing silling hats, pulling permits, renting portapotties, and cleaning up behind themselves, are racist, sexist, astroturf homophobes, and a threat to our very way of life, while American citizens who tape money over their mouths and dress like zombies while denying the use of public spaces to others, crap and masturbate in public, and have to be pressure-washed behind when they are finally forced to go home are a noble movement.

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RE: The Liberal Platform - 3/10/2012 6:43:13 AM   
Edwynn


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We'll take your word for it that you don't do drugs and write while mostly sober ... but that is freakin' amazing. Almost like if Phillip K. Dick after guzzling drain cleaner. Spectacular.

PS

Oops.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEsqGOHo0nI




< Message edited by Edwynn -- 3/10/2012 6:51:37 AM >

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RE: The Liberal Platform - 3/10/2012 6:51:09 AM   
TheHeretic


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Who says I don't do drugs? I've been up for maybe 45 minutes, and I'm already into the caffeine, nicotine and sugar. I also have a card in my wallet that lets me go buy my back medicine at a special store.

_____________________________

If you lose one sense, your other senses are enhanced.
That's why people with no sense of humor have such an inflated sense of self-importance.


(in reply to Edwynn)
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RE: The Liberal Platform - 3/10/2012 6:58:30 AM   
kalikshama


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As I learned on truckstopusa.com, of all places, this was a response to:

To be a Republican you need to believe

1. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Barack Obama

2. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush’s Daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a “we can’t find Bin Laden” diversion.

3. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Viet Nam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

4. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority for years was enforcing U.N. resolutions in Iraq.

5. A woman can’t be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multinational drug corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

6. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans’ benefits and combat pay.

7. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won’t have sex.

8. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

9. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism. HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.

10. Global warming and tobacco’s link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools. Evolution is a lie, but get a flu shot every year because the virus evolves.

11. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which tens of thousands die and the nation is plunged into debt is solid national policy.

12. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

13. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you’re a conservative radio host. Then it’s an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

14. You support “Executive Privilege” for every Republican ever born, who will be born or who might be born (in perpetuity.)

15. Support hunters who shoot their friends and blame them for wearing orange vests similar to those worn by the quail.

16. You can vote to raise the debt limit as long as Obama is not President.

17. Officials should allow Christian prayer and Bible studies in schools and government buildings as a matter of Religious Freedom, but Muslims should not be allowed to build mosques or be elected to office because they practice Islam.

18. You have an argument why every one of the above is sensible and not hypocritical, and besides look at all the terrible things the Democrats may have done.

(in reply to DaddySatyr)
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RE: The Liberal Platform - 3/10/2012 6:59:03 AM   
Edwynn


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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheHeretic
Who says I don't do drugs? I've been up for maybe 45 minutes, and I'm already into the caffeine, nicotine and sugar. I also have a card in my wallet that lets me go buy my back medicine at a special store.


You've got better excuse than I do, then. Don't ask me where I come up with my unctuous-yet-smooth-as-a-waffle-iron wackiness.






< Message edited by Edwynn -- 3/10/2012 7:09:37 AM >

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RE: The Liberal Platform - 3/10/2012 7:08:42 AM   
DaddySatyr


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From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheHeretic

Who says I don't do drugs? I've been up for maybe 45 minutes, and I'm already into the caffeine, nicotine and sugar. I also have a card in my wallet that lets me go buy my back medicine at a special store.


Caffeine and Nicotine, here. I don't do "street drugs" (though, I do support their legalization)

I am confused about your first post. Was the second group referencing Woodstock (in any of it's incarnations)?



Peace and comfort,



Michael


_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to TheHeretic)
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RE: The Liberal Platform - 3/10/2012 7:17:13 AM   
TheHeretic


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Occupy Wall Street, mostly. The complaints about jerking off in public were from Occupy Madison, but it's just such a great metaphor for so much of the movement, that I can't help but reference it.

_____________________________

If you lose one sense, your other senses are enhanced.
That's why people with no sense of humor have such an inflated sense of self-importance.


(in reply to DaddySatyr)
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RE: The Liberal Platform - 3/10/2012 7:22:16 AM   
Edwynn


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Of all the pertinent issues obtained in the venture of OWS, your fascination with that isolated incident noted.

The one thing you found resonance in. What a surprise.

PS

oops

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEsqGOHo0nI




< Message edited by Edwynn -- 3/10/2012 7:25:32 AM >

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RE: The Liberal Platform - 3/10/2012 7:29:34 AM   
Anaxagoras


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Fr: Some decent points: e.g. 2, 3 and 12, and some I wouldn't agree with: e.g. 9 - from this centrist Euro perspective, the two-G's (guns and God) are best kept out of politics if at all possible...


-----

quote:

ORIGINAL: Edwynn
quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr
3) The United States should be subservient to the United Nations. Our highest authority is not God and the U.S. Constitution, but a collective of tin-pot dictators (and their appeasers) and the U.N. charter.


You are behind the times. Liberals support only brass-pot dictators for over 20 years now.

Is a brass-pot not as bad as a tin-pot, and whats with you and Britney today?


quote:

quote:

15) A president who lies under oath is okay, but a president who references sixteen words from an ally's intelligence report should be dragged through the streets naked.

This is news for many of us. We never knew that impeachment was a stamp of approval.

I think he's referring to the stance libs take on the issue - not sure if the comparison is apt though as the consequences of the two assertions vary hugely.

< Message edited by Anaxagoras -- 3/10/2012 7:33:40 AM >


_____________________________

"That woman, as nature has created her, and man at present is educating her, is man's enemy. She can only be his slave or his despot, but never his companion." (Venus in Furs)

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RE: The Liberal Platform - 3/10/2012 7:36:39 AM   
DaddySatyr


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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheHeretic

Occupy Wall Street, mostly. The complaints about jerking off in public were from Occupy Madison, but it's just such a great metaphor for so much of the movement, that I can't help but reference it.


LOL Oooops! I thought the first part referred to OWS. Ouch! I didn't pay much attention but most of their protests that I saw seemed to be orderly and lawful (That is not to be seen as my agreeing with their movement). Did I miss something?



Peace and comfort,



Michael


_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to TheHeretic)
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RE: The Liberal Platform - 3/10/2012 7:39:03 AM   
DaddySatyr


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Anaxagoras

Fr: Some decent points: e.g. 2, 3 and 12, and some I wouldn't agree with: e.g. 9 - from this centrist Euro perspective, the two-G's (guns and God) are best kept out of politics if at all possible...



You mean that you see the duality in 2, 3 and 12?



Peace and comfort,



Michael

ETA: For the record: I think God should be kept out of politicis as much as possible but since guns can be used to commit crimes in which civilized society has a stake, you really can't leave guns out of the political/law-making arena.



< Message edited by DaddySatyr -- 3/10/2012 7:40:42 AM >


_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to Anaxagoras)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: The Liberal Platform - 3/10/2012 7:45:59 AM   
TheHeretic


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Tea Party was first. I thought the silly hats and astroturf would be enough, but maybe the caffeine insn't working on one end, or the other.

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RE: The Liberal Platform - 3/10/2012 7:49:14 AM   
DaddySatyr


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From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
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I confess: I haven't paid much attention to the Tea Party, either.



Peace and comfort,



Michael


_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to TheHeretic)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: The Liberal Platform - 3/10/2012 7:50:51 AM   
Edwynn


Posts: 4105
Joined: 10/26/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Anaxagoras
Fr: Some decent points: e.g. 2, 3 and 12, and some I wouldn't agree with: e.g. 9 - from this centrist Euro perspective, the two-G's (guns and God) are best kept out of politics if at all possible...
----
quote:

ORIGINAL: Edwynn
You are behind the times. Liberals support only brass-pot dictators for over 20 years now.


Is a brass-pot not as bad as a tin-pot, and whats with you and Britney today?


I have no earthly idea what a "tin-pot dictator" is, I quite doubt that the OP does either, I was just responding in kind.

As to my latest Britney cloak; Some other poster here who is verifiably upper-level bigot brought to our attention that I "go overboard sometimes." Britney's "oops!" song is presented as my acknowledgment and partial acquiescence to that assertion, giving the matter all the seriousness it deserves. One of those 'considering the source' things.

If I come up with some better cultural rendition of my badness, I will notify you posthaste to put those 2A3 valves on standby.


< Message edited by Edwynn -- 3/10/2012 8:02:09 AM >

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RE: The Liberal Platform - 3/10/2012 8:21:14 AM   
Anaxagoras


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Edwynn
If I come up with some better cultural rendition of my badness, I will notify you posthaste to put those 2A3 valves on standby.

2A3 porn for you sir...






Attachment (1)

_____________________________

"That woman, as nature has created her, and man at present is educating her, is man's enemy. She can only be his slave or his despot, but never his companion." (Venus in Furs)

(in reply to Edwynn)
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RE: The Liberal Platform - 3/10/2012 8:36:05 AM   
Anaxagoras


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From: Eire
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr
quote:

ORIGINAL: Anaxagoras
Fr: Some decent points: e.g. 2, 3 and 12, and some I wouldn't agree with: e.g. 9 - from this centrist Euro perspective, the two-G's (guns and God) are best kept out of politics if at all possible...

You mean that you see the duality in 2, 3 and 12?

Peace and comfort,

Michael

ETA: For the record: I think God should be kept out of politicis as much as possible but since guns can be used to commit crimes in which civilized society has a stake, you really can't leave guns out of the political/law-making arena.


I suppose there would be some sort of duality between point 2 (the opinion of those that aren't of a given political persuasion) and point 12 (regarding critics of the gov't). I agree it isn't easy to leave guns out of politics but rather than there should be more effort on both sides of the political spectrum to make this less of a left-right issue if at all possible.

_____________________________

"That woman, as nature has created her, and man at present is educating her, is man's enemy. She can only be his slave or his despot, but never his companion." (Venus in Furs)

(in reply to DaddySatyr)
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RE: The Liberal Platform - 3/10/2012 8:53:48 AM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
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From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Anaxagoras

I suppose there would be some sort of duality between point 2 (the opinion of those that aren't of a given political persuasion) and point 12 (regarding critics of the gov't). I agree it isn't easy to leave guns out of politics but rather than there should be more effort on both sides of the political spectrum to make this less of a left-right issue if at all possible.


I agree. I think there are certain things about gun control about which just about everyone can agree (age limits, violent criminal background, mental health issues just to name a few).

and I think that demonizing others that don't share your point of view is a poor way, in general, of hashing out the issues. I've said time and time, again: Only through free, open, and civil dialogue can anything really be changed. Why do I believe that a few people, disagreeing but listening to each other's points is the only way to change a society? Because it's the only thing that ever really has.



Peace and comfort,



Michael


_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to Anaxagoras)
Profile   Post #: 20
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