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is it ever innappropriate to compliment someone... - 6/3/2006 7:48:45 AM

spankmepink11

Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
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I'm the type of person who loves to give sincere compliments/positive input to people...For example...if i walk into a store...and it's noticeably above standard in cleanlinesss...i comment to a clerk to that effect...or...if someones outfit is very flattering... servicefood/cleanliness in restaurants...etc.
I was in a convieniance store/gas station yesterday and there was a woman standing near me wearing some cropped pants that made her rear end look absolutely flawless...i was dying to tell her so but didn't want to freak her out.....are such compliments inappropriate? Is there a standard...ie...it's ok for women to compliment other women in such way but not aceptable for a man to do so, or, appropriate to compliment ones friends in such ways...but not strangers?

Post #: 1

RE: is it ever innappropriate to compliment someone... - 6/3/2006 7:57:19 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
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Balls to it. When I want to give a compliment, I do. What they make of it is upto them

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(in reply to spankmepink11)

Post #: 2

RE: is it ever innappropriate to compliment someone... - 6/3/2006 8:01:42 AM

Tikkiee

Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: spankmepink11

I'm the type of person who loves to give sincere compliments/positive input to people...For example...if i walk into a store...and it's noticeably above standard in cleanlinesss...i comment to a clerk to that effect...or...if someones outfit is very flattering... servicefood/cleanliness in restaurants...etc.
I was in a convieniance store/gas station yesterday and there was a woman standing near me wearing some cropped pants that made her rear end look absolutely flawless...i was dying to tell her so but didn't want to freak her out.....are such compliments inappropriate? Is there a standard...ie...it's ok for women to compliment other women in such way but not aceptable for a man to do so, or, appropriate to compliment ones friends in such ways...but not strangers?

I will admit to being in the group of those who probably would have taken offense, but that is due simply to my own personal issues in regards to how I look.
However, I have been complimented by others in such a subtle way that it's unnoticed at first.
You could have smiled at the young lady and commented on her outfit. Done with tact and friendliness, she would have understood and probably been pleased.
Of course, she might have been offended but I have found that most, when approached in such a way, react with pleasure instead of offense.

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Post #: 3

RE: is it ever innappropriate to compliment someone... - 6/3/2006 8:18:27 AM

Wolf1020

Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline

Well it all depends how you do it.

If you had just said nice pants I can't see a problem.

It might not be recieved to well if you whistle and slap her as......then agian one never knows

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Post #: 4

RE: is it ever innappropriate to compliment someone... - 6/3/2006 8:44:48 AM

wandersalone

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Joined: 11/21/2005
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I do not feel it is ever innappropriate to give a compliment however I think the wording of it can make a difference so using the situation mentioned in the OP rather than possibly embarassing the person by saying something like 'the pants you are wearing make your ass look great' I would make a more general comment along the lines of 'you look lovely/great/whatever in that outfit'. It does all depend upon who I am giving the compliment to, if noticing something great about a close friend I would have no problems in saying something more personal but if complimenting a colleague, client, stranger I keep it more general mainly because there is more room for them to misinterpret what I say as they don't know me.

And as an example of synchronicity in the universe, spankme I have often seen your photo next to your id when you post to the forums and thought that your expression shows such a joie de vivre which is beautiful so this topic gives me the chance to let you know.

wanders

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Post #: 5

RE: is it ever innappropriate to compliment someone... - 6/3/2006 8:50:40 AM

jaydee52

Posts: 6
Joined: 5/20/2006
Status: offline

What a lovely sharp knife! So what was it you wanted; my money or my credit cards?

That's as inappropriate as I'd want to go.

< Message edited by jaydee52 -- 6/3/2006 8:53:30 AM >

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Post #: 6

RE: is it ever innappropriate to compliment someone... - 6/3/2006 8:57:28 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

I think it's almost always worth the risk, specially when it's about someone's choice in clothing. It's a bit riskier when you're discussing something a person has no choice over.

I DID make the mistake of complimenting a friends breasts once...made her very uncomfortable and weirded out. I thought I was being rather nice.

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Post #: 7

RE: is it ever innappropriate to compliment someone... - 6/3/2006 9:00:54 AM

Wolf1020

Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline

LA- I have a friend that loves people to do that

Course she also paid three grand for them so maybe that is why lol

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"Fish and visitors smell in three days"~Benjamin Franklin

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Post #: 8

RE: is it ever innappropriate to compliment someone... - 6/3/2006 9:06:44 AM

NakedOnMyChain

Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tikkiee

quote:

ORIGINAL: spankmepink11

I'm the type of person who loves to give sincere compliments/positive input to people...For example...if i walk into a store...and it's noticeably above standard in cleanlinesss...i comment to a clerk to that effect...or...if someones outfit is very flattering... servicefood/cleanliness in restaurants...etc.
I was in a convieniance store/gas station yesterday and there was a woman standing near me wearing some cropped pants that made her rear end look absolutely flawless...i was dying to tell her so but didn't want to freak her out.....are such compliments inappropriate? Is there a standard...ie...it's ok for women to compliment other women in such way but not aceptable for a man to do so, or, appropriate to compliment ones friends in such ways...but not strangers?

I will admit to being in the group of those who probably would have taken offense, but that is due simply to my own personal issues in regards to how I look.
However, I have been complimented by others in such a subtle way that it's unnoticed at first.
You could have smiled at the young lady and commented on her outfit. Done with tact and friendliness, she would have understood and probably been pleased.
Of course, she might have been offended but I have found that most, when approached in such a way, react with pleasure instead of offense.

But... what... <sputter, mumble>...

It always amazes me how some of the most drop dead gorgeous women (yes, I mean you Tikkiee) have body issues. I know it's normal, but if you could look at yourself through our eyes you'd know you have no reason to have them.

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(in reply to Tikkiee)

Post #: 9

RE: is it ever innappropriate to compliment someone... - 6/3/2006 9:15:52 AM

Tikkiee

Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline

quote:

But... what... <sputter, mumble>...

It always amazes me how some of the most drop dead gorgeous women (yes, I mean you Tikkiee) have body issues. I know it's normal, but if you could look at yourself through our eyes you'd know you have no reason to have them.

And I thank you for the lovely compliment

However , my issues stem more from others believing that simply because I am a women, who looks like I do; that I must have 'slept my way or used said attributes' to get where I am today. It becomes very bothersome.

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Post #: 10

RE: is it ever innappropriate to compliment someone... - 6/3/2006 9:44:17 AM

lisa1978

Posts: 224
Joined: 5/19/2006
From: Kansas City
Status: offline

quote:

And I thank you for the lovely compliment However , my issues stem more from others believing that simply because I am a women, who looks like I do; that I must have 'slept my way or used said attributes' to get where I am today. It becomes very bothersome. [:****]

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tikkiee

quote:

But... what... <sputter, mumble>...

It always amazes me how some of the most drop dead gorgeous women (yes, I mean you Tikkiee) have body issues. I know it's normal, but if you could look at yourself through our eyes you'd know you have no reason to have them.

And I thank you for the lovely compliment However , my issues stem more from others believing that simply because I am a women, who looks like I do; that I must have 'slept my way or used said attributes' to get where I am today. It becomes very bothersome.

Generally I believe compliments are always good when done appropiately in the right situation. A friend telling me my ass looks nice in those jeans is always welcomed but a stranger out in public, not so much.

Tikkiee I have also been taken back by people who have complimented me for my looks in a context or venue that suggests I got breaks and shortcuts becasue of them when I did not. It can be very hurtful. Most of the times as I have been learning the compliments were not implying that and were truly meant to be positive but in certain circumstances (almost always work), I always have to pause and think if they are really ripping me.

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RE: is it ever innappropriate to compliment someone... - 6/3/2006 10:13:51 AM

MrrPete

Posts: 614
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline

At my age I'm finding it inappriopriate to compliment any woman I don't know.
It's always taken the wrong way.

Mr. Pete

available

Boycott Tequila

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Post #: 12

RE: is it ever innappropriate to compliment someone... - 6/3/2006 10:18:33 AM

Tikkiee

Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline

quote:

Tikkiee I have also been taken back by people who have complimented me for my looks in a context or venue that suggests I got breaks and shortcuts becasue of them when I did not. It can be very hurtful. Most of the times as I have been learning the compliments were not implying that and were truly meant to be positive but in certain circumstances (almost always work), I always have to pause and think if they are really ripping me.

LOL, It sucks, doesn't it?

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RE: is it ever innappropriate to compliment someone... - 6/3/2006 10:57:25 AM

pahunkboy

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline

I am afraid to compliment a lady- as I dont want to viewed as a pass.

Men HATE for me to compliment them, one got mad when I rated his picture- on a ratings site. I replied- ok- you are ugly. Have it your way.
In high school when I came out to me, my straight friend was afraid that I found him attractive. When I told him i wasnt attracted to him, he said- why? what is wrong with him. He took it hard. LOL. Wrote me a "we cant be freinds anymore" letter.

In a very small town- a complimnet can be interpreted as sarcasm. Tiffs in a small town can span YEARS.

I freely compliment family and friends. I also clue them in on what I really think....when asked.

(in reply to Tikkiee)

Post #: 14

RE: is it ever innappropriate to compliment someone... - 6/3/2006 11:26:02 AM

talltxsub

Posts: 173
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline

I will usually offer a compliment, but saying something like

"that lipstick is a striking color for you" is very different from saying

"that lipstick color makes me want to see how it feels sliding over me"

or such things. I'm sure everyone gets the idea.

(in reply to pahunkboy)

Post #: 15

RE: is it ever innappropriate to compliment someone... - 6/3/2006 11:35:16 AM

spankmepink11

Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline

Thank you wandersalone...

In retrospect...if i HAD commented to this woman...i probably would have told her how flattering the pants were to her...but, if it were a friend...i would have said..."girl..your ass is SLAMMIN in those pants"...lol

(in reply to wandersalone)

Post #: 16

RE: is it ever innappropriate to compliment someone... - 6/3/2006 11:55:32 AM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

I think compliments on body parts are usually right out. At leats, in my book. I like compliments as much as the next girl, but when someone tells me I have "great tits" it makes me want to punch them, not say thank you.

Clothing, hair color, makup, well...I compliment people and they generally are nice back, adn seem to apprecaite it.

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RE: is it ever innappropriate to compliment someone... - 6/3/2006 12:07:25 PM

champagnewishes

Posts: 1310
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Orange County
Status: offline

I think compliments are always a good thing if done earnestly and with sincerity and in a context appropriate to the environment.

I was at a party once where there was this very leggy blonde. The greatest pair of legs i have ever seen. All night i debated on saying something to her. Finally as i was about to leave, i went up to her and said "I just have to let you know, you have the most fabulous legs i have ever seen"....of course i left out the part "and they would look great wrapped around my face"

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RE: is it ever innappropriate to compliment someone... - 6/3/2006 12:14:34 PM

spankmepink11

Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
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Side note:....How embarrassing to have misspelled a word in the thread title!!!!!!

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RE: is it ever innappropriate to compliment someone... - 6/3/2006 12:41:25 PM

Tikkiee

Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: spankmepink11

Side note:....How embarrassing to have misspelled a word in the thread title!!!!!!

Pfft lol, that's nothing. You know what is really embarassing? Editing a post 2 or 3 times because you noticed that you misspelled some words, only to come back later and see that you misspelled the, and, as....

< Message edited by Tikkiee -- 6/3/2006 12:42:17 PM >

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