Responding to Fetishes

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ScoutsHonor -> Responding to Fetishes (3/11/2012 4:45:37 PM)
I discovered the discussion boards and now I can’t seem to stop coming up with questions and threads lol. But anyways here is a new one. I was wondering how you respond to someone who has a fetish that you are not into or makes you feel uncomfortable, especially if they are coming on too strongly about it? I know politely if possible, of course, but how exactly? I find it easier online because the person can be ignored or blocked if need be but in real life is where it gets even more difficult. For me in particular I have to deal with people with red hair obsessions. A guy who complements it or whatever is fine but it gets down right creepy when a stranger at the gas station asks to pet my head or a guy from class begins to pry about weather the carpet matches the curtains.

Baroana -> RE: Responding to Fetishes (3/11/2012 4:47:15 PM)
Mace.

ScoutsHonor -> RE: Responding to Fetishes (3/11/2012 4:48:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Baroana Mace. That would work...

MusicalBoredom -> RE: Responding to Fetishes (3/11/2012 4:51:38 PM)
I'm a very strong boundary person. If it's something that others may not know is a boundary then I politely decline but I'm not so polite if they persist. If it's something that most people should know then I'm usually very pointed to start with. I think your example about a classmate and your hair color would warrant me saying something like "Do you think it's okay for a stranger to ask a woman about her pubic hair? I think it's rather creepy."

Baroana -> RE: Responding to Fetishes (3/11/2012 4:54:57 PM)
When someone is a pervy, harassing creep, then you should show them no courtesy. It's always important for a woman to have a backbone, and they don't confiscate yours when you get your sub card. In fact, I would think that's when you need it most.

Whenready -> RE: Responding to Fetishes (3/11/2012 4:55:57 PM)
"I'll pretend you didn't say that. Have a nice day".

SinFix -> RE: Responding to Fetishes (3/11/2012 4:56:18 PM)
I tell them I'm not into it....

SorceressJ -> RE: Responding to Fetishes (3/11/2012 5:00:57 PM)
"No" and "none of your business" still work just fine, too, whether online or in person.

Killerangel -> RE: Responding to Fetishes (3/11/2012 5:06:20 PM)
A polite but firm "Do you really think that is appropriate?" does the trick for me in deflecting personal questions. Or, "I don't share personal information with strangers", or "I wonder what your mother would think of you asking me that?" For the head petters I might remind them with a smile that I'm not a dog and to find a nice Irish setter somewhere that is in need of affection. I'm with MusicalBoredom, reminding people of boundaries and the use of them while being firm is probably the best way to handle the creepers.

Alecta -> RE: Responding to Fetishes (3/11/2012 5:16:56 PM)
The guy from class just wants to see you blush, so don't. Tell him nobody gets laid asking about the drapes and the carpet. The guy at the gas station loooovvvveeeessss your hair and isn't great with boundaries, but at least he knew enough to ask. So say sorry, you don't like people touching your hair, but thank you for the compliment, and make sure to leave.

Higuysitsme -> RE: Responding to Fetishes (3/11/2012 6:06:47 PM)
Sadly, its usually safest to be polite and say you prefer that they not touch and not ask for private information. My personal tendancy would be to tell 'em to f**k off and die!

Hillwilliam -> RE: Responding to Fetishes (3/11/2012 6:11:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ScoutsHonor I discovered the discussion boards and now I can’t seem to stop coming up with questions and threads lol. But anyways here is a new one. I was wondering how you respond to someone who has a fetish that you are not into or makes you feel uncomfortable, especially if they are coming on too strongly about it? I know politely if possible, of course, but how exactly? I find it easier online because the person can be ignored or blocked if need be but in real life is where it gets even more difficult. For me in particular I have to deal with people with red hair obsessions. A guy who complements it or whatever is fine but it gets down right creepy when a stranger at the gas station asks to pet my head or a guy from class begins to pry about weather the carpet matches the curtains. I have a HUGE thing for redheads. (and you are stunning) but even IM not that freaking creepy. My approach is usually something like a sigh and a smile and saying "And on the 8th day, God created redheads". Add an acknowledging nod and then if the woman in question doesn't feel like beginning a convo, I tip my hat and wander off or turn and finish my beer if Im in an adult establishment (Bar). As for carpet and curtains, that's just totally classless.

MissImmortalPain -> RE: Responding to Fetishes (3/11/2012 6:12:12 PM)
"how do you respond to someone that has a fetish you aren't into" I don't take part in it. If they get pushy....My friends Smith and Wesson have always been able to explain it to them. Edit to add* Online...ignore is a wonderful thing.

sirsholly -> RE: Responding to Fetishes (3/11/2012 6:15:36 PM)
quote: My friends Smith and Wesson have always been able to explain it to them. My size nine stiletto can be rather articulate as well....[;)]

mummyman321 -> RE: Responding to Fetishes (3/11/2012 6:15:47 PM)
To the OP Now you are putting evil thoughts in our heads. Carpet matching the curtains on a red head. That is really not nice to tease us that way! If you want the polite politically correct response. Simply say that is not an appropriate thing to say to a lady. And you can take it further claim that it is sexual haressment as needed

sirsholly -> RE: Responding to Fetishes (3/11/2012 6:18:14 PM)
quote: Now you are putting evil thoughts in our heads. so true... i was pure and innocent before i read this thread. now i'm ebil. damnit.

Winterapple -> RE: Responding to Fetishes (3/11/2012 6:20:44 PM)
FR I've had people want to touch or "pet" my hair. It's very awkward. I was in a elevator once and a man behind me began stroking my ponytail(I have long hair and it was waist length when this occurred). I turned around and he was smiling the most blessed out pervy smile. I pulled it away but I didn't say anything. Luckily, there were other people in the elevator. Carpets and drapes? A eyeroll and I'm going to pretend you didn't say that. Or I guess a Who says there's carpet? might either throw him or encourage him. If someones into something I know I'm definitely not into as opposed to not into it but not squicked by it I say so. Firmly.

MissImmortalPain -> RE: Responding to Fetishes (3/11/2012 6:21:28 PM)
Okay...that is just wrong. I don't even like girls all that much but there is something hot about the idea of Holly Hobby in heals. By the way Op, I was going to ask where you live that random people ask you questions like that but I thought about it. From what I have seen in the years I have been on this planet normally people ask questions like that when they think it will bother the person they are asking. And normally they only do that to people that "read" as easily upset by such things. I understand that you are trying to be polite but the guy at the gas station wasn't being polite when he asked. If you make your answer to him, or the guy in class, "how about we call a lawyer and ask him if you need to know" they might just figure out you don't like being asked such things and stop.

lizi -> RE: Responding to Fetishes (3/11/2012 6:36:55 PM)
In person I don't like being really mean since I don't know how that person will react. If they're weird enough to be inappropriate and not understand social cues they might have other stuff going on that would mean unknown, possibly aggressive behavior towards myself, so I dont risk getting into situations where I might be at risk. Therefore I don't get in anyone's face. I do however set forth very firmly and matter of factly a reminder of personal boundaries. If you don't, you risk them taking your silence for assent. Saying "Sorry, I'm not comfortable with letting you touch me/ask me that type of question" should do it. Stand up for yourself, you'll find it easier to do after a time or two. Online when someone crosses the personal boundary immediately I just say I don't share any intimate information with people I don't know and I'm not interested in beginning any conversations with people who do.

JanahX -> RE: Responding to Fetishes (3/11/2012 6:40:12 PM)
Um ... well #1 > Im not usually polite if the person is being obnoxious enough to keep pushing a subject that is only going on in their head. Tell them that youre NOT INTO IT. Really -----> Its that easy. If they dont get it, then tell them later days and better lays. Whats the fucking point of carrying on with someone who is all in their own world? #2. > About these perv strangers saying shit like that to you in public ... Yell at the top of your lungs > (((( GET AWAY FROM ME YOU PERVERT )))) And then have a great laugh when you see the expression on their face. I promise ... Its worth its weight in gold. quote: ORIGINAL: ScoutsHonor I discovered the discussion boards and now I can’t seem to stop coming up with questions and threads lol. But anyways here is a new one. I was wondering how you respond to someone who has a fetish that you are not into or makes you feel uncomfortable, especially if they are coming on too strongly about it? I know politely if possible, of course, but how exactly? I find it easier online because the person can be ignored or blocked if need be but in real life is where it gets even more difficult. For me in particular I have to deal with people with red hair obsessions. A guy who complements it or whatever is fine but it gets down right creepy when a stranger at the gas station asks to pet my head or a guy from class begins to pry about weather the carpet matches the curtains.

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