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Responding to Fetishes - 3/11/2012 4:45:37 PM

ScoutsHonor

Posts: 30
Joined: 9/25/2011
Status: offline

I discovered the discussion boards and now I can’t seem to stop coming up with questions and threads lol. But anyways here is a new one.

I was wondering how you respond to someone who has a fetish that you are not into or makes you feel uncomfortable, especially if they are coming on too strongly about it? I know politely if possible, of course, but how exactly?

I find it easier online because the person can be ignored or blocked if need be but in real life is where it gets even more difficult.

For me in particular I have to deal with people with red hair obsessions. A guy who complements it or whatever is fine but it gets down right creepy when a stranger at the gas station asks to pet my head or a guy from class begins to pry about weather the carpet matches the curtains.

Post #: 1

RE: Responding to Fetishes - 3/11/2012 4:47:15 PM

Baroana

Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline

Mace.

(in reply to ScoutsHonor)

Post #: 2

RE: Responding to Fetishes - 3/11/2012 4:48:57 PM

ScoutsHonor

Posts: 30
Joined: 9/25/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroana

Mace.

That would work...

(in reply to Baroana)

Post #: 3

RE: Responding to Fetishes - 3/11/2012 4:51:38 PM

MusicalBoredom

Posts: 620
Joined: 5/8/2007
From: Louisiana/New York
Status: offline

I'm a very strong boundary person. If it's something that others may not know is a boundary then I politely decline but I'm not so polite if they persist. If it's something that most people should know then I'm usually very pointed to start with. I think your example about a classmate and your hair color would warrant me saying something like "Do you think it's okay for a stranger to ask a woman about her pubic hair? I think it's rather creepy."

(in reply to ScoutsHonor)

Post #: 4

RE: Responding to Fetishes - 3/11/2012 4:54:57 PM

Baroana

Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline

When someone is a pervy, harassing creep, then you should show them no courtesy. It's always important for a woman to have a backbone, and they don't confiscate yours when you get your sub card. In fact, I would think that's when you need it most.

(in reply to MusicalBoredom)

Post #: 5

RE: Responding to Fetishes - 3/11/2012 4:55:57 PM

Whenready

Posts: 319
Joined: 3/5/2009
Status: offline

"I'll pretend you didn't say that. Have a nice day".

(in reply to Baroana)

Post #: 6

RE: Responding to Fetishes - 3/11/2012 4:56:18 PM

SinFix

Posts: 866
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline

I tell them I'm not into it....

(in reply to Baroana)

Post #: 7

RE: Responding to Fetishes - 3/11/2012 5:00:57 PM

SorceressJ

Posts: 2968
Joined: 7/24/2010
Status: offline

"No" and "none of your business" still work just fine, too, whether online or in person.

_____________________________

‎Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc. <93>)O(

(in reply to SinFix)

Post #: 8

RE: Responding to Fetishes - 3/11/2012 5:06:20 PM

Killerangel

Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline

A polite but firm "Do you really think that is appropriate?" does the trick for me in deflecting personal questions. Or, "I don't share personal information with strangers", or "I wonder what your mother would think of you asking me that?"

For the head petters I might remind them with a smile that I'm not a dog and to find a nice Irish setter somewhere that is in need of affection. I'm with MusicalBoredom, reminding people of boundaries and the use of them while being firm is probably the best way to handle the creepers.

(in reply to ScoutsHonor)

Post #: 9

RE: Responding to Fetishes - 3/11/2012 5:16:56 PM

Alecta

Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline

The guy from class just wants to see you blush, so don't. Tell him nobody gets laid asking about the drapes and the carpet. The guy at the gas station loooovvvveeeessss your hair and isn't great with boundaries, but at least he knew enough to ask. So say sorry, you don't like people touching your hair, but thank you for the compliment, and make sure to leave.

(in reply to Killerangel)

Post #: 10

RE: Responding to Fetishes - 3/11/2012 6:06:47 PM

Higuysitsme

Posts: 127
Joined: 12/10/2011
From: Sheffield, UK
Status: offline

Sadly, its usually safest to be polite and say you prefer that they not touch and not ask for private information. My personal tendancy would be to tell 'em to f**k off and die!

_____________________________

'Be humble, because you are made of Earth;
Be noble, because you are made of Stardust.'
Navaho saying.

'There is no way to peace and happiness;
Peace and happiness is the way.'
The Buddha

(in reply to Alecta)

Post #: 11

RE: Responding to Fetishes - 3/11/2012 6:11:11 PM

Hillwilliam

Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ScoutsHonor

I discovered the discussion boards and now I can’t seem to stop coming up with questions and threads lol. But anyways here is a new one.

I was wondering how you respond to someone who has a fetish that you are not into or makes you feel uncomfortable, especially if they are coming on too strongly about it? I know politely if possible, of course, but how exactly?

I find it easier online because the person can be ignored or blocked if need be but in real life is where it gets even more difficult.

For me in particular I have to deal with people with red hair obsessions. A guy who complements it or whatever is fine but it gets down right creepy when a stranger at the gas station asks to pet my head or a guy from class begins to pry about weather the carpet matches the curtains.

I have a HUGE thing for redheads. (and you are stunning) but even IM not that freaking creepy.

My approach is usually something like a sigh and a smile and saying "And on the 8th day, God created redheads". Add an acknowledging nod and then if the woman in question doesn't feel like beginning a convo, I tip my hat and wander off or turn and finish my beer if Im in an adult establishment (Bar).

As for carpet and curtains, that's just totally classless.

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to ScoutsHonor)

Post #: 12

RE: Responding to Fetishes - 3/11/2012 6:12:12 PM

MissImmortalPain

Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline

"how do you respond to someone that has a fetish you aren't into" I don't take part in it. If they get pushy....My friends Smith and Wesson have always been able to explain it to them.

Edit to add* Online...ignore is a wonderful thing.

< Message edited by MissImmortalPain -- 3/11/2012 6:13:13 PM >

_____________________________

It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

(in reply to ScoutsHonor)

Post #: 13

RE: Responding to Fetishes - 3/11/2012 6:15:36 PM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

My friends Smith and Wesson have always been able to explain it to them.

My size nine stiletto can be rather articulate as well....

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)

(in reply to MissImmortalPain)

Post #: 14

RE: Responding to Fetishes - 3/11/2012 6:15:47 PM

mummyman321

Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline

To the OP
Now you are putting evil thoughts in our heads. Carpet matching the curtains on a red head. That is really not nice to tease us that way!

If you want the polite politically correct response. Simply say that is not an appropriate thing to say to a lady. And you can take it further claim that it is sexual haressment as needed

_____________________________

Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

(in reply to Hillwilliam)

Post #: 15

RE: Responding to Fetishes - 3/11/2012 6:18:14 PM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

Now you are putting evil thoughts in our heads.

so true...

i was pure and innocent before i read this thread.

now i'm ebil.

damnit.

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)

(in reply to mummyman321)

Post #: 16

RE: Responding to Fetishes - 3/11/2012 6:20:44 PM

Winterapple

Posts: 1343
Joined: 8/19/2011
Status: offline

FR
I've had people want to touch or "pet"
my hair. It's very awkward. I was in a
elevator once and a man behind me began
stroking my ponytail(I have long hair and
it was waist length when this occurred).
I turned around and he was smiling the most
blessed out pervy smile. I pulled it away
but I didn't say anything. Luckily, there
were other people in the elevator.
Carpets and drapes? A eyeroll and I'm
going to pretend you didn't say that.
Or I guess a Who says there's carpet?
might either throw him or encourage him.
If someones into something I know I'm
definitely not into as opposed to not into
it but not squicked by it I say so. Firmly.

_____________________________

A thousand dreams within me softly burn.
Rimbaud

(in reply to Hillwilliam)

Post #: 17

RE: Responding to Fetishes - 3/11/2012 6:21:28 PM

MissImmortalPain

Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline

Okay...that is just wrong. I don't even like girls all that much but there is something hot about the idea of Holly Hobby in heals.

By the way Op, I was going to ask where you live that random people ask you questions like that but I thought about it. From what I have seen in the years I have been on this planet normally people ask questions like that when they think it will bother the person they are asking. And normally they only do that to people that "read" as easily upset by such things. I understand that you are trying to be polite but the guy at the gas station wasn't being polite when he asked. If you make your answer to him, or the guy in class, "how about we call a lawyer and ask him if you need to know" they might just figure out you don't like being asked such things and stop.

_____________________________

It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 18

RE: Responding to Fetishes - 3/11/2012 6:36:55 PM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

In person I don't like being really mean since I don't know how that person will react. If they're weird enough to be inappropriate and not understand social cues they might have other stuff going on that would mean unknown, possibly aggressive behavior towards myself, so I dont risk getting into situations where I might be at risk. Therefore I don't get in anyone's face. I do however set forth very firmly and matter of factly a reminder of personal boundaries. If you don't, you risk them taking your silence for assent. Saying "Sorry, I'm not comfortable with letting you touch me/ask me that type of question" should do it. Stand up for yourself, you'll find it easier to do after a time or two.

Online when someone crosses the personal boundary immediately I just say I don't share any intimate information with people I don't know and I'm not interested in beginning any conversations with people who do.

(in reply to ScoutsHonor)

Post #: 19

RE: Responding to Fetishes - 3/11/2012 6:40:12 PM

JanahX

Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline

Um ... well #1 > Im not usually polite if the person is being obnoxious enough to keep pushing a subject that is only going on in their head.

Tell them that youre NOT INTO IT. Really -----> Its that easy. If they dont get it, then tell them later days and better lays. Whats the fucking point of carrying on with someone who is all in their own world?

#2. > About these perv strangers saying shit like that to you in public ... Yell at the top of your lungs > (((( GET AWAY FROM ME YOU PERVERT )))) And then have a great laugh when you see the expression on their face. I promise ... Its worth its weight in gold.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ScoutsHonor

I discovered the discussion boards and now I can’t seem to stop coming up with questions and threads lol. But anyways here is a new one.

I was wondering how you respond to someone who has a fetish that you are not into or makes you feel uncomfortable, especially if they are coming on too strongly about it? I know politely if possible, of course, but how exactly?

I find it easier online because the person can be ignored or blocked if need be but in real life is where it gets even more difficult.

For me in particular I have to deal with people with red hair obsessions. A guy who complements it or whatever is fine but it gets down right creepy when a stranger at the gas station asks to pet my head or a guy from class begins to pry about weather the carpet matches the curtains.

_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

(in reply to ScoutsHonor)

Post #: 20

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