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Vanilla mistresses - 3/15/2012 3:26:06 PM   
menowimp


Posts: 16
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		Is there a school of mistresses that says to be one you need to wear a leather or latex outfit, carry a whip and expose half your body?

I can't speak for other men so I don't know if that is what guys want, but my guess is that there are many like me who are totally put off by it. And probably you attract a lot more of the men you don't want, or give the wrong impression, because it almost always comes with some kind of warning about what you don't offer, what you're not etc.

I would quite like to see some more "vanilla" mistresses, who yes, do session with people in a BDSM manner, but do not feel they need to undress or wear outrageous outfits to do so. I also prefer not to session totally naked, by the way.

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RE: Vanilla mistresses - 3/15/2012 3:44:40 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		So you are not the Mistress Janice of the cartoon clip?

I play in whatever I feel like wearing, which is not normally leather. As long as I can move freely, and I feel good, that's what happens. Though I do tend to underdress if I am playing at home. I have some beautiful chiffon nighties that are very pleasing.

None of that makes me "vanilla", though. It just means that I am not always interested in playing dress up.

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RE: Vanilla mistresses - 3/15/2012 3:46:26 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		I won't try to speak for anyone else, but I wear what I want because I like it, not because I give a rat's arse what anyone else thinks of it. If I want to wear a latex, Steampunk, or Cybergoth outfit, that's what I'll wear. If I want to wear jeans and a t-shirt, so be it. If I want to wear nothing at all, guess what I'm wearing. I imagine most dominant women feel the same way.

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Dark Muse
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Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
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RE: Vanilla mistresses - 3/15/2012 3:46:34 PM   
hangemhigh1953


Posts: 245
Joined: 7/8/2011
Status: offline 		If you're doing sexy things wouldn't it help to dress sexy? Sure, maybe you're not into leather, latex, corsets, etc... but on the other hand you're gonna have a harder time being sexy if you dress in a trashy t-shirt, baggy jeans and sneakers.

By the way, many lifestylers from what I hear do most of their kinky activity in vanilla attire. If you're talking about professionals, well if a guy is spending that kind of money it's probably important to make it as sexy as possible for him. If you're talking about porn, well, there must not be much of a demand to see "vanilla mistresses".

< Message edited by hangemhigh1953 -- 3/15/2012 3:47:12 PM >

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RE: Vanilla mistresses - 3/15/2012 3:52:51 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I can do sexy things and feel sexy no matter what I am wearing. I AM THAT HOT, Hangemhigh!

Setting the mood can be very important, and certainly very enhancing, but if an opportunity to play arises and I am wearing my super glamourous yoga pants and capybara t-shirt, I am NOT stopping to change.

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RE: Vanilla mistresses - 3/15/2012 3:56:32 PM   
menowimp


Posts: 16
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		This is the line that I think is the misconception:

quote:


If you're talking about professionals, well if a guy is spending that kind of money it's probably important to make it as sexy as possible for him.


Is that what a guy is looking for? Or is a guy after the type of "sexy" woman he sees every day in the street / office etc. You see, how it is for me is you have a fantasy over what you see and then play it out. I don't generally build up fantasies on what I don't commonly see.

By the way, sneaker fetish is quite common. I have had several sneaker kicking/trampling sessions and was in one such video which was quite successful.

The lifestylers you talk about do it in their regular attire because that's how they feel comfortable, and it's probably their fantasy in the first place.


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RE: Vanilla mistresses - 3/15/2012 3:58:59 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I can do sexy things and feel sexy no matter what I am wearing. I AM THAT HOT, Hangemhigh!



True story.


_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

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RE: Vanilla mistresses - 3/15/2012 4:14:59 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		What they said below... and I like pvc (not latex) and leather.. and uniforms.. and bdus... and boots of all varieties... and I wear what I wear... when I want to.. and don't really care if you, or anyone else, likes it...

I certainly enjoy if darling dear boy is drooling... but 99% of it is for me... 1% for her.. and she drools at me at the oddest times... including when I'm in my flannel jammies flogging her silly


quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I can do sexy things and feel sexy no matter what I am wearing. I AM THAT HOT, Hangemhigh!



True story.




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You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

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RE: Vanilla mistresses - 3/15/2012 4:17:48 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		and... I just had to return... to ask...

is it all about what you want?



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You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

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Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Vanilla mistresses - 3/15/2012 4:29:35 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		No, but there is a book of Mistresses that says, if I'm a leather person, that's what I'm going to wear when I want to.  Believe it or not, I'm not really all that concerned about those who don't want to see Me in a corset and skirt at a play party.  I happen to like dressing for the occasion.  When I do, what somebody thinks who doesn't like people in leather seriously doesn't enter My mind.  Just like I don't care if somebody else in attendance would prefer their choice of whether I wear My hair up or down.  

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RE: Vanilla mistresses - 3/15/2012 4:34:59 PM   
MsSylverdawn


Posts: 147
Joined: 9/26/2011
Status: offline 		I rarely play dressed in corsets and lace.. I gerneally am in what I love to w ear ..jeans and t shirt.. in fact I love a jean corset, white mens shirts and pair of jeans.. bare feet.. hair up in a pony tail.. a lick of mascara, a smear of gloss, some medium brown eyeliner.. and voila.. I mean who the hell can stand for four hours in five inche heels cinched to an inch of thier lives .. with enough foundation on to lay a patio with.. Not I.. I do have the leather corsets, the lace chemises, the flowing black skirts boots etcc.. and if I m going to an event ( ie a leather dinner or something yes ) if Im intending to get busy nope.. and Im still awesome at being me no matter what I wear.

Im gonna go look for some of those chiffony nighties.. cuz that would work for me to..cuz I wanna be as hot as LadyH

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Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Vanilla mistresses - 3/15/2012 4:35:50 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Dressing up at PARTIES = WINNING. As long as I have someone to lace my corset for me. I will cheerfully suffer for fashion when I have an audience!

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RE: Vanilla mistresses - 3/15/2012 4:36:59 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSylverdawn

I wanna be as hot as LadyH


Yer there already!!


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RE: Vanilla mistresses - 3/15/2012 4:57:17 PM   
Alecta


Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: menowimp

Is there a school of mistresses that says to be one you need to wear a leather or latex outfit, carry a whip and expose half your body?

I can't speak for other men so I don't know if that is what guys want, but my guess is that there are many like me who are totally put off by it. And probably you attract a lot more of the men you don't want, or give the wrong impression, because it almost always comes with some kind of warning about what you don't offer, what you're not etc.

I would quite like to see some more "vanilla" mistresses, who yes, do session with people in a BDSM manner, but do not feel they need to undress or wear outrageous outfits to do so. I also prefer not to session totally naked, by the way.




Dear OP,
Have you thought that maybe you have not noticed those Mistresses that wear "normal" clothes because... well... we look normal? lol

I wear whatever the hell I want. If that's a burlap sack, the rest of you'll just have to deal.

(in reply to menowimp)
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RE: Vanilla mistresses - 3/15/2012 5:41:44 PM   
GloriousMorning


Posts: 171
Joined: 3/18/2009
Status: offline 		I wear what I feel most sexy in. I don't subscribe to the school of thought that any person has to wear a particular style of clothing to enjoy being dominant, but I do think alot of porn and men's perception of Leather Clad Dominatrix's do help perpetuate that a little bit. I have corsets and thigh highs and stockings and the shiny shiny, none of which I would don while spending an intimate moment at home with my partner, but are fun to wear when I go out to parties and want to look as sexy as all get out!

That said, I will admit that certain clothing styles do influence my mood, or visa versa. When I have a pair of sexy boots on, I feel a certain way, and when I have fishnet and lace, I feel another. It's the whole concept of "powersuits" , which tend to make the wearer exude confidence, thus, commanding attention.

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RE: Vanilla mistresses - 3/15/2012 5:47:08 PM   
GloriousMorning


Posts: 171
Joined: 3/18/2009
Status: offline 		Oh, and I do expose some parts of myself and pose in some provocative poses in some of my photos, because it makes me feel sexy to do so, not so that I can feel more dominant. Sometimes I enjoy expressing my sexuality in an artistic way, and I don't judge others for how they choose to express themselves (at least I try not to!).

< Message edited by GloriousMorning -- 3/15/2012 5:48:30 PM >

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RE: Vanilla mistresses - 3/15/2012 5:47:38 PM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: menowimp

This is the line that I think is the misconception:

quote:


If you're talking about professionals, well if a guy is spending that kind of money it's probably important to make it as sexy as possible for him.


Is that what a guy is looking for? Or is a guy after the type of "sexy" woman he sees every day in the street / office etc. You see, how it is for me is you have a fantasy over what you see and then play it out. I don't generally build up fantasies on what I don't commonly see.



That's not a misconception, that's a fact. But a good pro will tailor her attire to her client. Some clients may think that dressing up in heels and latex is sexy. Another may think that dressing up as nun is sexy. Another may think that dressing up as a police woman is sexy. Someone else may think that dressing like a secretary is sexy. And still another may think that dressing up as a Catholic school girl is sexy.

Each man has a different definition of what is "sexy", but a wise pro-Domme adjust accordingly.

A lifestyle Domme will likely be dressed in normal clothing while at home, but will probably dress up for a play party. Or perhaps not. But it's really up to her.

It sounds like you think that a woman who dresses up like a Midwestern housewife is sexy. That doesn't make you any better than someone who likes heels and latex. Nor does it make the "Mistress" who dresses in plain clothing any more "vanilla".

I know that there are some women who could beat you until you could hardly sit down, and they'd do it in plain clothes. Yet, the pain that you were feeling would let you know that she was hardly "vanilla".

Bottom line: The props aren't what makes her a Domme, just like holding leaves won't make you a tree. You're confusing costumes with substance.

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 3/15/2012 5:52:51 PM >

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RE: Vanilla mistresses - 3/15/2012 5:51:49 PM   
menowimp


Posts: 16
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		I am referriing primarily to "professional" dommes or "mistresses" as they are often known by, and offer "services" for a certain tribute. Now many of you might say that is not real BDSM if there is such a thing as "real" BDSM.

Not ideally what I want, not because I hate parting with my money but more the psychological feeling that she is doing what I want because I've paid her for it.

Behind these sites are multiple different personalities but it's hard to see that as looking through them they all look pretty much the same.

And when I say "vanilla" I am referring to the style of dress and not their personality. By the way, if you do associate this kind of dress style with "porn" (and some do expose rather a lot of themselves), is this likely to attract the sort of client they probably don't want?


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RE: Vanilla mistresses - 3/15/2012 6:03:15 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline 		Out of curiousity, I just did a search for dominant females, age range between 30 - 50, and living in the UK.
Of the 20 images that appeared on page one, only 6 of them were dressed in the style you dislike.
The bottom line is, you are only one man in a million here, and what you don't like, others do, and vice versa.
Best of luck in finding the woman that appeals to you.

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RE: Vanilla mistresses - 3/15/2012 6:28:40 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I'm having a difficult time trying to understand why this matters so much. For a guy not looking for anything but some playtime and very little but what he wants, what is the difficulty in going for those dressed as he likes them dressed and ignoring the rest?

Its not like all of us are undressing, dressing up or doing anything else that should pose a problem for him. Thus... I wonder what this is really about.


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