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body image - 10/26/2004 9:11:30 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		This is a recent issue of "Great Sexpectations" i thought i would share, thinking it might help anyone here with body image issues.


A very warm welcome from Carmen Sutra:

We discuss this issue every once in a while, and it truly
warrants revisiting from time to time. I routinely receive
letters that detail just how much body image issues affect
people in the bedroom, especially if you are about to be
with a loved one for the first time. I know lingerie shopp-
ing can be a traumatizing experience in itself, let alone
dropping your guard and your clothes in front of someone you
love. Making love with someone is just about the most vulner-
able you can allow yourself to be, and it doesn't help when
you have nagging doubts in your mind about various body
parts. Let's discuss...
Today's Topic: Sum of All Your Parts

I know what some of you are thinking about, your concerns.
But listen up: you are NOT your cellulite, stretch marks or
flabby skin. You are NOT your stomach pouch or "bat wing"
arms. You are your smile, your generous heart, your soft
skin, and your charming and inviting laugh. You are your
willingness to help people and your caring nature. We all
have insecurities and hang-ups, but it's ALL of these things
that make us who we are: we ARE the sum of our parts.

I hope that this can be liberating for some, yet I know others
will probably always feel inhibited by their body image in-
securities. Some people think when they find the "right person"
or someone they are "comfortable with", their armor will fall,
but the truth is, even if you find someone like that, some
people STILL feel inhibited. But there is a way to have a
healthy, satisfying sex life while dealing with body image
issues. So you keep the lights off - who cares? So you shy
away from certain positions - not a problem! It's between
you and your partner, and you need to figure out what's best
for both of you.

Chances are, though, that your partner couldn't care less
about your arms or excess tummy. We tend to focus on our
flaws, but in the moment of making love, your partner sees
you in your entirety - your sum. When you really, really love
someone and believe in them with everything you have, their
sagging breasts or stomach mean nothing. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
The flaws only give YOU pause because, truly, your partner
is too busy basking in your beauty and thrilled to be with
you at all. And isn't THAT how it's supposed to be?

P.S. Food for thought: A friend once told me if the person
IS bothered by excess pounds or tiny flaws, they probably
weren't interested in all your wonderful qualities in the
first place.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE share your body image issues with us,
especially concerning the first time you made love with some-
one you love. In the meantime, guess what Wednesday is? "Love
Your Body" day, so you know what that means - it will be all
masturbation talk :) As always, I remain...

Devotedly yours,

Carmen Sutra



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_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: body image - 10/27/2004 5:52:11 AM   
sweetpleaser


Posts: 689
Joined: 8/5/2004
From: Florida
Status: offline 		That was a great article Proud! Thanks. I learned a long time ago that it is more sexy to be yourself and uninhibited in bed than to look like a Barbie doll.

_____________________________

~ann~

It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.--Mae West

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RE: body image - 10/27/2004 6:13:53 AM   
Suleiman


Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetpleaser
I learned a long time ago that it is more sexy to be yourself and uninhibited in bed than to look like a Barbie doll.


I dunno - I'm kind of partial to 9" of hard moulded plastic

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RE: body image - 10/27/2004 6:38:06 AM   
theroebabe


Posts: 3155
Joined: 7/25/2004
Status: offline 		Thanks Proud, it seems it depends on the person i am with. My last dom, i was always naked around him and it didnt seem to bother me! Thanks for sharing the good thoughts!

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Roe

People always ask me why I do these things . . .
It's because I can!

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RE: body image - 10/27/2004 6:38:21 AM   
subbiejenn


Posts: 631
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I dunno - I'm kind of partial to 9" of hard moulded plastic


*giggles* i am partial to 9" of Hard something too just not plastic!



_____________________________

~Subspace is my perfect paradise vacation from busy-mind... blessed be to the Dominant who can stamp my ticket there.~

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away"

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RE: body image - 10/27/2004 6:40:28 AM   
theroebabe


Posts: 3155
Joined: 7/25/2004
Status: offline 		Well Jenn when you dont have the real thing for me plastic will do! but something that uses more power hmmmmmm even better!

_____________________________

Roe

People always ask me why I do these things . . .
It's because I can!

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RE: body image - 10/27/2004 6:46:18 AM   
subbiejenn


Posts: 631
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline 		Oppps -- nice article proud, thank you for shaing... its so true. Sometimes people get way to caught up in looks and not what is important..

i mean does it really matter what they look like whe i have on my blindfold? j/k -- *laughs*

Suleiman got me so excited talking about 9" hard things i about forgot about the topic of the thread *grins*




_____________________________

~Subspace is my perfect paradise vacation from busy-mind... blessed be to the Dominant who can stamp my ticket there.~

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away"

(in reply to proudsub)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: body image - 10/27/2004 6:47:54 AM   
subbiejenn


Posts: 631
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline 		heheehe -- true Roe

_____________________________

~Subspace is my perfect paradise vacation from busy-mind... blessed be to the Dominant who can stamp my ticket there.~

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away"

(in reply to theroebabe)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: body image - 10/27/2004 8:41:16 AM   
feline


Posts: 1101
Joined: 2/23/2004
From: CA
Status: offline 		Thanks for sharing proud, I really enjoyed that article. Sometimes we need to be reminded it's what on the inside not the outside that counts.


Take care,




Attachment (1)

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Variety is the soul of pleasure.
~Aphra Behn~

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RE: body image - 10/29/2004 12:00:13 AM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Suleiman


quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetpleaser
I learned a long time ago that it is more sexy to be yourself and uninhibited in bed than to look like a Barbie doll.


I dunno - I'm kind of partial to 9" of hard moulded plastic


I do not EVEN want to know what you do with that 9 inches of plastic

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

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RE: body image - 10/29/2004 11:15:40 AM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

I do not EVEN want to know what you do with that 9 inches of plastic


I do!!

I'm glad you all enjoyed the article.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


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Profile   Post #: 11
RE: body image - 10/29/2004 7:24:50 PM   
GentleMistress


Posts: 116
Joined: 8/19/2004
Status: offline 		I wanna know too LOL....thanks this was a great thread to read.

(in reply to proudsub)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: body image - 10/30/2004 8:48:03 AM   
subbiejenn


Posts: 631
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline 		i wanna know too *grins*

_____________________________

~Subspace is my perfect paradise vacation from busy-mind... blessed be to the Dominant who can stamp my ticket there.~

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away"

(in reply to proudsub)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: body image - 10/30/2004 10:51:14 AM   
feline


Posts: 1101
Joined: 2/23/2004
From: CA
Status: offline 		Aw come on girls! You really don't know?!

Take care,





Attachment (1)

_____________________________

Variety is the soul of pleasure.
~Aphra Behn~

(in reply to proudsub)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: body image - 10/30/2004 4:47:23 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

Aw come on girls! You really don't know?!


LMAO Inquiring minds want to know, want details please.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: body image - 11/7/2004 5:41:36 PM   
smile2cu


Posts: 265
Joined: 7/21/2004
From: Dayton, OH
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetpleaser
I learned a long time ago that it is more sexy to be yourself and uninhibited in bed than to look like a Barbie doll.
Yes, indeed! It never ceases to amaze me how many women don't like their own bodies. I, on the other hand, rather like them.

I think perhaps it's seeing the commercials, where everyone is perfect. But real people come in all shapes and sizes. Real people are nice! And any real people who are uninhibited in bed, please feel free to stay for a nice visit, where we can convince you that body image is just in your mind.
(Hope I'm not over the CM guidelines for advertising. But the point is that you can be sexy whatever your internal body image.)

_____________________________

Friendly, kind, cheerful, and oral.

~smile~

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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: body image - 11/8/2004 12:05:26 AM   
rubytuesday


Posts: 180
Joined: 10/22/2004
Status: offline 		Ahh smile2cu - I almost wished you lived closer to NZ :-) actually to hell with it - scrub the almost part - I wish you did live closer to NZ ;-)

It has taken me all my life so far to be comfortable with the fact that Barbie and I will never be mistaken for sisters or even close cousins - however I do have a brain and stretch marks and soft roly bits and stuff that shows what ive been through in my lifetime and if I find people dont like me for how I look then its very much their problem. As for uninhibited in the bedroom - I'd give Barbie a run for her money

People come in all shapes and sizes and sometimes you get the most amazing things in packages you'd never even thought about opening before............................

Keep smiling

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RE: body image - 11/8/2004 12:09:21 AM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

People come in all shapes and sizes and sometimes you get the most amazing things in packages you'd never even thought about opening before............................


I love the way you said that ruby.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to rubytuesday)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: body image - 11/8/2004 8:05:14 AM   
smile2cu


Posts: 265
Joined: 7/21/2004
From: Dayton, OH
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rubytuesday
Ahh smile2cu - ... I wish you did live closer to NZ ;-)
...
As for uninhibited in the bedroom - I'd give Barbie a run for her money
People come in all shapes and sizes and sometimes you get the most amazing things in packages you'd never even thought about opening before............................

Keep smiling


Hi Ruby. I wish I was in NZ as well. I see we're in agreement on oral service. And I also love your quote.

Not to worry, I usually am smiling. Decided that it was my decision whether to be happy or not, and I chose happy. Believe it or not, it works. (I actually had a pretty terrible beginning, and could have easily chosen depressed, but somehow I didn't.)

Hope you get a chance to give Barbie a run for her money!

_____________________________

Friendly, kind, cheerful, and oral.

~smile~

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Profile   Post #: 19
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