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Oh, the pain... Calling all Masochists - 3/17/2012 11:30:05 AM   
tameeks


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No matter your orientation - straight, bi, transgender, top, bottom etc etc etc... If you love pain I have a question for you.

To give a little background, I like pain but before Daddy I'd never had anyone to administer the pain to me. I am finding that my level of pain, and the implements used varies greatly from what Daddy is used to. I am still very new to the life, and he's being patient with me, but last night I frustrated him and cried because I felt like shit. I don't like the whip, and so far the only things I've been able to really enjoy are the items that pack a punch but not too much sting...

So to my question, for those who like pain, did you always like a very intense level of pain or is this something that you've built up over time?

I am afraid I may not be the pain slut that Daddy needs; though he did tell me that being Poly it's ok if I don't turn out to be... we'll just have to find us a pain slut so that Daddy can get it out of his system. This idea does make me feel better, buuut, at the same time I really do want to be able to give Daddy everything he wants.

< Message edited by tameeks -- 3/17/2012 11:31:39 AM >
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RE: Oh, the pain... Calling all Masochists - 3/17/2012 11:59:26 AM   
hausboy


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I built up a tolerance over time....but it also depended on a lot of things.

1. level of arousal...if I am mentally and physically aroused, I can take a lot more

2. type of implement: some implements and types of pain I can take more than others, and some body parts can take hours vs other places that can't

3. Lots of buildup. There are times when my Sir feels I need a good lesson and doesn't give a lot of warm-up, but that will always mean a shorter time playing.

4. and yes. I don't know whether I just got more acclimated...or my hide got tougher....or both. But I can take more as we do more.

Lastly: BREATHE. Breathing helps me process pain. Sometimes the inclination is to hold one's breath, grit the teeth etc. Instead--if I relax my muscles, open my mouth, and take good deep breaths, I can push through a lot easier.

have fun...good luck!

< Message edited by hausboy -- 3/17/2012 12:00:11 PM >

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RE: Oh, the pain... Calling all Masochists - 3/17/2012 12:09:33 PM   
tameeks


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Thank you Hausboy! That helps... and yep I'm one of those breath holders and teeth grinders.

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RE: Oh, the pain... Calling all Masochists - 3/17/2012 12:54:36 PM   
lizi


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quote:

ORIGINAL: hausboy

I built up a tolerance over time....but it also depended on a lot of things.

1. level of arousal...if I am mentally and physically aroused, I can take a lot more

2. type of implement: some implements and types of pain I can take more than others, and some body parts can take hours vs other places that can't

3. Lots of buildup. There are times when my Sir feels I need a good lesson and doesn't give a lot of warm-up, but that will always mean a shorter time playing.

4. and yes. I don't know whether I just got more acclimated...or my hide got tougher....or both. But I can take more as we do more.

Lastly: BREATHE. Breathing helps me process pain. Sometimes the inclination is to hold one's breath, grit the teeth etc. Instead--if I relax my muscles, open my mouth, and take good deep breaths, I can push through a lot easier.

have fun...good luck!


Quoted for truth.
I'm not a masochist, I hate being in pain, but it's something we do in my relationship and Hausboy pretty much got everything nailed down that I do. One caveat, I can't take any serious pain to my nipples, I've swung a fist at my Dom in the past and it's something we avoid as I can't seem to temper my reaction to that.

I've found my emotional state and hormonal changes also dictate how much pain I can take at that moment in time. He's learned to read where I am pretty well, I'm not afraid to speak up though if he's missing something. We do things more as a team- works for us. He likes having me put my in.

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RE: Oh, the pain... Calling all Masochists - 3/17/2012 1:00:24 PM   
hellionsLight


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I am still building, and when I am in 'little' mood, I don't like pain at all, it seems

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RE: Oh, the pain... Calling all Masochists - 3/17/2012 1:04:53 PM   
littlewonder


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I'm not a masochist but Master is a sadist. He's fine with that though and he gives me pain whether I want it or not. It satisfies him for me to take it because I'm being of service to him and giving him all. There are times when I wish I could take more from him and I get frustrated and cry but he reassures me that it's all good and that I just need to build up more tolerance over time.

So that's something you could try...ask him to start out light, working your way up to it and do it continually and eventually over time you should be able to take more than before.


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RE: Oh, the pain... Calling all Masochists - 3/17/2012 1:13:30 PM   
vixenkneels


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tameeks...I quickly found out if I anticipated the strike of a whip, paddle, belt, cane, strap, etc. my muscles tensed up and the pain was not pleasurable at all. my Master chooses to "warm" me up for a session of extreme pain by beginning with breast and nipple torture to get my head in the right place until He sees that I am beginning to enter my "space" and then the heavy artillery comes out and He slowly increases the intensity of the strikes. I increase my level of pain tolerance in stages and Master is very adept in recognizing those stages; in my mind I picture my ability to turn His pain into my pleasure as a slow descent down spiral stairs in the dark. I stop every few steps to absorb the pain and enjoy it and each step downwards takes me deeper in to my "space". my Master is always whispering in my ears..."Pain is Master's love, Master's love is pain." Once my body is floating in that warm, dark, black pool I never want to come back to the real world.

Obviously each person has to seek their own way to assimilate pain into pleasure and some may never achieve being a total masochist, but the journey can be very eye opening for you and for Him.

_____________________________

I am your servant. I shall not be free. You will protect me; you will keep me safe; you will guard me. You will keep me sound; you will protect me from every demon. -- Ancient Egyptian woman's slave contract

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RE: Oh, the pain... Calling all Masochists - 3/17/2012 1:33:56 PM   
MrBukani


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People accustomed to pain release more endorphines I think wich is the rush some masochist are lookin for.
Some bodyparts are more sensitive and that can be very personal. Like nipples.

< Message edited by MrBukani -- 3/17/2012 1:34:20 PM >

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RE: Oh, the pain... Calling all Masochists - 3/17/2012 2:22:33 PM   
kitkat105


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You need to communicate these concerns to him. That is really important. While fear is an integral part, you shouldn't be crying because you don't enjoy it. Only crying because they've pushed you to that level. Do you have a safeword? Or you the amber/yellow, red system? This might help too.

It certainly doesn't happen overnight but I agree with hausboy, there are a lot of contributing factors. Much like hausboy, if I am physically/emotionally prepared & aroused already, I find the experience not only more tolerable but also more enjoyable. It's not that I don't enjoy the spontaneous funishment/punishment session but it can more exhausting physically.

May I also suggest something a little less extreme than a whip? Maybe try spankings, crops, softer floggers. Areas with more flesh (eg. butt or thighs) are going to be more able to absorb the shock. See if Daddy is willing to "warm you up" before bringing out the bigger toys.

Remember to drink plenty of fluids. And breathe. If you find you aren't a masochist, that's okay if you're willing to do this for Daddy. But you may need to practice some meditation/breathing techniques to get you through these scenes.

Good luck!

_____________________________

"WARNING! This girl exceeds the MAXIMUM SAFE standards established by the FDA for BRATTINESS!"

Odeen's spoonful of sugar that helps the medicine go down

Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags

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RE: Oh, the pain... Calling all Masochists - 3/17/2012 2:30:28 PM   
Missokyst


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I am a masochist. I can adapt to most pain if I need to do it. It doesn't mean I like it or that it doesn't hurt me, it just means I adapt. There are types of pain I enjoy and some that piss me off to no end. Stingy pain pisses me off. It makes me want to punch someone in the face. It turns off potential arousal and the ability to adapt. Unless I am really worked up into a sensually aroused state stingy pain sucks. If I am horny as heck, stings can work quickly to push me into an orgasm. It is a fine line and hopefully my partner can read that. Of course.. I have been with sadists that don't give a rip if I am enjoying it and don't bother with arousal because they want to hurt me. If they are lucky they have restrained me well enough to give them a head start to escape before I am pissed off beyond reason.

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


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RE: Oh, the pain... Calling all Masochists - 3/17/2012 3:08:16 PM   
ProlificNeeds


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FR~

I have a very hight olerance against pains and discomforts SOMETIMES, othertimes when I am in a tired or cranky mood something small and simple can really set me off into an emotional reaction. Head space is always a big factor into not always 'enjoying' pain, but being able to take it, and transform it into something that plain sucks, into something that jacks your brain up on adrenaline and other chemical goodness.

It takes practice finding a meditative state (that's what I call it anyway) where you can transmute the pain into a high of sorts. It'll be different for each person.

Before your sessions try a little self meditation not to focus on what's to come, but to amp yourself up a bit, or even calm down, different mindsets will have different results.

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RE: Oh, the pain... Calling all Masochists - 3/17/2012 3:41:30 PM   
littlebabiegirl


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i would echo what hausboy said.

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*hugs*

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RE: Oh, the pain... Calling all Masochists - 3/17/2012 4:32:07 PM   
tameeks


Posts: 173
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Thanks everone for the input. Just to clarify, I spoke with him about it last night as he felt really bad that I was crying. not because of what he did, but because I had frustrated him. He quickly assured me that he wasn't upset with me and that we'd figure out what things have worked for me thus far and go from there. He takes very good care of me and encourages and appreciates my input.

I feel much better now knowing that there is hope for me yet!! :).


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RE: Oh, the pain... Calling all Masochists - 3/17/2012 4:47:09 PM   
slaverachel2Him


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Some people don't like stingy pain. That is just how they are. Others after being flogged for a while (a month or two) can transition to single tail. Floggers are thunkier and the pointed tip ones have a little sting.

Over times things will be less intimidating to you as well.

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RE: Oh, the pain... Calling all Masochists - 3/17/2012 4:48:26 PM   
SorceressJ


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tameeks is lucky to have a Master who cares about what she thinks. Too many don't seem to. Wishing you the best, honey.

Also, I am really down with all the fine, fine suggestions on breathing and meditation. Good advice for the rest of one's life, as well.

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RE: Oh, the pain... Calling all Masochists - 3/18/2012 3:18:06 AM   
DomHypnoTV39


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You can become less sensitive to pain through hypnosis.

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RE: Oh, the pain... Calling all Masochists - 3/18/2012 3:45:03 AM   
rigidchuck


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tameeks,

i enjoy both giving and getting severe pain. i have found hausboy suggestions above invaluable but, the desire for pain comes from within as a form of generating natural endorphins which hopefully leads to a sense of euphoria and translates to pleasure.

i think, if you feel that level of pleasure when accepting pain or need to resort to hypnosis you may want to rethink your type of play.


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chuck

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RE: Oh, the pain... Calling all Masochists - 3/18/2012 6:32:31 AM   
kyraofMists


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As I often say, not all pain is created equal. I like thuddy pain and dislike stingy pain. I have a higher tolerance of things that are thuddy as a result. Then there are other things that I don't even perceive as pain. Clothespins and zippers are not painful so I didn't have to build up a tolerance to them.

I find that it is more my mindset which enables me to enjoy the play than any specific type of sensation. When my mind just goes blank and I allow the sensations to flow through my body, it results in a very enjoyable play even if I don't particularly like the individual sensations.

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

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RE: Oh, the pain... Calling all Masochists - 3/18/2012 8:09:13 AM   
MsSylverdawn


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I so do not get pain as a receiver. I just dont generate endorphins or something...espcially stingy whippy pain. I dont mind deep and thuddy.. and I like to give it of course. I swatted myself with a lil wycked stick with a bead on it the other night and was like fuck NO.... lol.. but you gotta try it first.. I respect deeply those who serve me in this manner cuz to be perfectly honest I dont get a rush when I feel it.

True story. I was getting my back tat. The hubby's girl was saying just move the pain around.. displace it.. push it out.. I looked up at her from the table I was sitting on... and said through gritted teeth... if I push any fucking harder Im going to levitate off this fucking table... they all laughed.. I endured.


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RE: Oh, the pain... Calling all Masochists - 3/18/2012 8:55:49 AM   
Missokyst


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What would be the point of that? Pain is a valuable tool. It tells you when to stop pushing, how to back down, what to avoid, or how much you can tolerate before things need to change.

patient: "Doc, it hurts when I do this." doc:"well don't do that."
quote:

ORIGINAL: DomHypnoTV39

You can become less sensitive to pain through hypnosis.



_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


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