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RE: Rape scenarios: WARNING VERY DARK SUBJECT - 6/4/2006 8:17:59 AM

Gem

Posts: 100
Joined: 2/11/2004
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Brightest Blessings
(does it ever really go away? I'm curious to hear if there are any rape/abuse survivors who no longer hurt when they think of those times), >>>

I don't think it ever goes away, something very precious to our selves died the day we were raped/abused, however like all things in which we mourn it becomes much more tolerable, more of a dull ache on rainy days if you will, rather than the sharp deep pain of day to day living. Or at least that is the way it works for me, and others I have spoke to and interacted with.

Blessed Be
Gem

(in reply to Halcyone)

Post #: 21

RE: Rape scenarios: WARNING VERY DARK SUBJECT - 6/4/2006 9:22:28 AM

Calandra

Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Reflectivesoul
Calandra sorry but this is just not a friendly topic for me... and I find all kinds of problems with it....

quote:

Okay, I have a question concerning a specific type of rape scene. First off, I'm asking the question of any survivors of sexual assault and felt the need to re-enact it, with a consenting partner. Maybe not even re-enact it, but maybe do role play in this area.

I ask that anyone who may want to debate this in any way other than the OP, please start your own thread and allow those of us who can discuss this to do so in safety.

While I understand your point, I have asked questions of people who HAVE EXPERIENCED this. This was not a discussion meant for those who want to discuss the ethics, details or psychology, but who have not experienced it themselves.

(in reply to Reflectivesoul)

Post #: 22

RE: Rape scenarios: WARNING VERY DARK SUBJECT - 6/4/2006 9:25:17 AM

HisTicia

Posts: 203
Joined: 5/31/2006
Status: offline

While my rape is fairly recent.. this past Feb... I can't imagine it will ever fully go away.. a lot of myself changed that day. For me..it will probably progress the way the memories of molestation for a few years as a child went. I will learn to push them back..and only deal with them when they push themselves back up to the surface again. I think the human spirit is a wonderful and resilient thing...along with the mind. It can choose to deal with things in the way that works best for each person.

I know that I had rape fantasy thoughts before my rape..and I find that many are surprised I still have them. I know the difference though..between something I want and ask for..and the act that I didn't. I don't know if it will help me as a "therapy" to do it or not.. I wonder if there is any way to know that before you actually do it.. because I think that would be something very personal..and would differ from person to person.

My Master is very aware of the rape.. though I haven't went into all the details yet..I will probably do that at some point. I think that who you are with should know those things.. just in case something does trigger a reaction.. and he isn't totally caught off guard by it.

After my rape..I actually did use some of bdsm to deal with things.. but.. it wasn't the cause of me doing them in the first place. I found that if I was hurting on the inside a lot.. it helped me to be flogged.. or used in some way.. to be able to get those feeling to the surface and let them out. I did go through the period of letting men use me for sex..as sort of a punishment for myself.. I felt so empty..and thought that was all I was good for..that I would be wanted by a man for. I think that was because that for the most part..had been what men wanted that I had been with. So.. this way.. I just opened myself up and let them...therefore.. I wasn't the victim anymore.. I had the control over it. Sometimes.. I would just come home and cry after... I felt so empty.. then I resigned myself to that fate..that, that was the only way I would have any "love". A lot happened after that.. to help me deal with it all.. to realize different... in the process of it all I hit rock bottom... and made the choice to live and not die..that was when I took my life back.. my body back..and decided I was worth more than to be used as a sex hole.

I knew with my past..and the way I felt..that I needed more than that. I actually didn't think I would find it in the Life..because time and time again..that was all I was to most. Then I met a few who got to know me..and showed me it was possible. I must admit until I met my Sir.. my love.. I didn't think I would have the whole package..or that I deserved it. I know that I have some things I will need to still deal with..but.. He is strong..and with His love..I can make it through anything..be it past..or present.

I look forward to doing the rape scene with Him someday.. and I know that I will enjoy it.. I have confidence and faith in Him..and never doubt that I am loved. For me.. it is just another way to express it..and to enjoy each other. I think it is something that should just be examined in yourself.. if you think it will help you..and you take it as that.. it probably will.. if you are doing it as some sort of punishment for something you deserved.. please don't.. in the end.. you will only feel like you need punished more..and then the cycle will start... nothing can fill that void..nothing can hurt you enough to erase it.

Don't know if any of this helps.. but I wish you well.

_____________________________

All my soul follows you, love encircles you and I live in being yours. ~Browning

Believe nothing just because someone else believes it. Believe only what you yourself test and judge to be true. ~Buddha

(in reply to Gem)

Post #: 23

RE: Rape scenarios: WARNING VERY DARK SUBJECT - 6/4/2006 9:27:13 AM

Calandra

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Joined: 11/22/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tikkiee

quote:

Do you find that the re-enactment was able to (how to say this) overlay painful memories with safe ones

Not in the sense that you mean. The re-enactment did help me overcome my absolute terror at being touched though. Memories such as these don't often become 'overlaid' by safe ones. They just become more manageable.

I understand. Thats why I did not say "replaced" by safe ones... because nothing relaces the bad memories. I found that I was terrified of "aspects" of the attack - such as the smell of that cologne. I'd step into an elevator and someone with that cologne would enter and for the next four floors I'd be reliving what happened. When I re-enacted mine, I asked for SPECIFIC things that had been "triggering" flashbacks for years. Your thoughts?

(in reply to Tikkiee)

Post #: 24

RE: Rape scenarios: WARNING VERY DARK SUBJECT - 6/4/2006 9:34:21 AM

Calandra

Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sophia37
Whats so strange to me, is that people are so against and agahst at pedophilia on this site, yet here we are discussing rape re-enactments of what would be for me, age 10, for others up to age 18.

Sure sure, we're all now adults. uh huh. So its now fine. Sure it is. Me for one, I'll pass thank u very much. This is about more than finding, "healing". This is a form of twisted, you cant yet get over.

I'll be damned if I'll agree to relive violence done to me in my life.

Thank you so much for your negativity. While I understand your viewpoints, perhaps you would review the original post where it asks:
If you wish to discuss aspects other than the ones set forth in the topic, please do so - ELSEWHERE

I wanted to make a safe environment in this thread to discuss it with others who are experiencing the same process as I am.

(in reply to sophia37)

Post #: 25

RE: Rape scenarios: WARNING VERY DARK SUBJECT - 6/4/2006 9:40:59 AM

krazymeli2004

Posts: 13
Joined: 11/30/2005
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"YESSS," IT WILL GO AWAY, I KNOW BECAUSE I'VE BEEN 'RAPED' MYSELF..... BY my xxx husband, WHEN WE WERE 'STILL' MARRIED!!!
he WANTED "IT" & I DIDN'T, AND he won!!! I FELT VIOLATED & FILTHY AFTERWARDS, I SHOWERED FOR "DAYS", MY KIDS KNEW SOMETHING HAD HAPPENED, BUT THEY DIDN'T KNOW "WHAT", AND I NEVER TOLD THEM, EITHER....... I EVENTUALLY "MOVED OUT" AND I STILL SEE HIM ON OCCASION...... PRAYER FOR THE "RAPIST" AND THE HELP FROM YOUR "GOD" SHOULD HELP IN THE HEALING, I REALLY WISH YOU ALL THE SUCCESS IN GETTING OVER IT, IT CAN BE DONE, IT REALLY CAN.... MY PRAYERS TO YOU!!!

(in reply to Calandra)

Post #: 26

RE: Rape scenarios: WARNING VERY DARK SUBJECT - 6/4/2006 9:44:26 AM

Calandra

Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gem
Some of us need a protective outlet, an alternative to traditional thearpy. The "role-play" of the rape or sexual abuse helps us because we get to take control of the situation, we can fight back, or be the "seducer", the rapist or abuser then has no more power.

That is one of the most significant reasons I wanted to re-enact it... to "take back my power". Since non-consensual rape is about power and anger, I was able to finally get fucking pissed off and fight the bastard (played by a wonderful, sweet, courageous, non-selfish individual who wore bruises for a week - smiles). I had been stuck in a loop of hurt, fear, self-pity, and the re-enactment actually broke that cycle.

quote:

your own bodies betray ( because sexual organs do not always know that what is happening is a bad thing, they respond to stimulation, thus do what is natural to them and release. It is a heck of a mind trip on the victim to realize that their own body orgasmed from something so hateful..it causes great guilt in surviors.)

OMG, this was one of the things I repressed for years. I had actually hidden from the fact that I'd orgasmed. Somehow, when the re-enactment happened, this was the final piece of the puzzle and I felt betrayed by my own body.

It used to hurt in a way to hear people say that the biggest sexual organ we have is our minds - somehow that translated to the idea that I'd wanted it to happen. It took several months for me to come to terms with the fact that I didn't want it, but that my body had become confused by the sensations.

(in reply to Gem)

Post #: 27

RE: Rape scenarios: WARNING VERY DARK SUBJECT - 6/4/2006 9:55:47 AM

Calandra

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Joined: 11/22/2004
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I was raped at the age of 30. (molestation as a child was just as bad, but different to this experience)

about four years ago, cubby and I were playing with a gift from a friend - this huge, huge dildo. He thought it was a gag gift, and I said it was possible to take it all. He teased me and said he didn't believe that. I teasingly challenged him to use it on me....

WOW, the physical sensation of force caused me to "regress" (hope thats the right word). I'd apparently tensed up when the rape happened, and the feeling of the dildo triggered it. It messed me up mentally for days. Thank goodness cubby was totally aware of my past. He took care of me while I wandered through the days. This was after the re-enactment, but the tools I needed to handle this trigger were developed because of the re-enactment. Needless to say the dildo is in a landfill somewhere.

< Message edited by Calandra -- 6/4/2006 9:56:35 AM >

(in reply to Calandra)

Post #: 28

RE: Rape scenarios: WARNING VERY DARK SUBJECT - 6/4/2006 9:57:04 AM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

. Some of the things that caused anger resentment and trauma from my childhood abuse, is now the biggest turn on as an adult with consent to do it, and it's the bigest emotional freedom to be able to safely explore things, and be safe enough with someone to do something that others might consider mentally ill or just plain wrong. Ie being attracted to dominant men sexually, or needing someone to forcefully but consentually bring your sexuality out and nurture it back to a healthy libido.

The sexual abuse damaged my libido, I never really fully enjoy sex, it's a chore, I can never orgasim normally, It requires huge amounts of effort to the point of hurting myself because I have to masterbate to long just for one lil org. Or I have to use a sex toy, or fantasize about certain things that my mate finds shocking.

To have someone you can be you all of you in your sexuality and your desires is liberating.

(in reply to Halcyone)

Post #: 29

RE: Rape scenarios: WARNING VERY DARK SUBJECT - 6/4/2006 10:14:25 AM

aurora31

Posts: 266
Joined: 8/18/2005
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quote:

your own bodies betray ( because sexual organs do not always know that what is happening is a bad thing, they respond to stimulation, thus do what is natural to them and release. It is a heck of a mind trip on the victim to realize that their own body orgasmed from something so hateful..it causes great guilt in surviors.)

OMG this is so true. I was sexually molested in my preeteen and early teen yrs. The persom who did this to me never penetrated me in anyway but would stimulate my clit tell I came. Their whole thing was getting off on getting me off. I was old enough to understand my bodys natural reaction and to be horrified by it. So I learned to block it to not let my body respond, then to fake a orgasim as to get it over with ASP. While I no longer feel guilty over my bodies natural reaction, to this day I still find it very hard not to pull back..I find it hard to just let go and enjoy especially when only my clit is being stimulated.

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I had someone who I trusted enough to bind me in such away as I could not squirm away from their touch and to really push the issue with me but I have a feeling that it would be all to easy for me to pull back and go to that safe place and block it...not something I want to encourage so who knows....if anyone has anythoughts on how to stop myself from doing this I wouls love to hear them.

aurora

(in reply to Calandra)

Post #: 30

RE: Rape scenarios: WARNING VERY DARK SUBJECT - 6/4/2006 10:18:04 AM

mistoferin

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Joined: 10/27/2004
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This is a subject that I feel I am very qualified to speak on and am quite passionate about. I apologize in advance if I offend someone with my post. I am a rape survivor. I have contemplated how re-enactment would effect me. I have experienced re-enactment. I, as a counselor, have also worked with hundreds of women who have been victims of sexual assault or sexual abuse.

Rape fantasies are common amongst women. Rape fantasies are also common amongst survivors of rape. The reality of rape and the fantasy of rape are worlds apart.

For myself, I can tell you that I am the kind of person who isn't easily effected by any short term event in my life. Rape, on the other hand, required a great deal of work on my part to get past. I have done all of the work and although I can't say that I believe that it ever totally goes away, I can say that I can think about it or relay the details without any emotion attached to it at this point. I will also say that there are still times when, out of the blue, something will trigger something and I will be right back there.

Rape play is a very sensitive area. Most of the time you have well meaning people who don't have a good understanding of all that rape encompasses attempting to "manipulate" the mind. My personal thought is that "mind" play is one of the most dangerous forms of play there is. There are far too many variables and a mistake or miscalculation can result in damage that goes far beyond a broken bone or a laceration.....damage that can sometimes never be undone even if it is something that can not be physically seen.

Re-enactment doesn't work in my opinion, because the re-enactment is a seperate event. It is entirely too possible that the mind will not make the connection and will view it as another victimization, even when one can rationally seperate the two on a conscious level. While some responses and memories can get triggered, it is just not on a parallel with the reality. Many times, while the people involved may enter into such an arrangement from a position of trust and care, will come out of it on the other side in a position of injured trust and quite possibly the destruction of any aspect of "relationship".

I can tell you that my experience was exactly that. Not only was the relationship fatally wounded, but I was left with the added bonus of dealing with the aftermath alone as I could not bear to have that man in any aspect of my presence again. Whether it was rational or not, I felt totally victimized once again. After about 20 years of hard work to move past the assault, I found myself right back at square one. I spent the next few months dealing with the constant flashbacks and nightmares. I lived alone at the time, out in the middle of nowhere. I hated to be at home...nights were the worst. I slept in my closet with a loaded shotgun. Now, I can't begin to tell you just exactly how irrational that is for me. Unless you know me very personally you would not understand, but I can say this, I am not the type of person who is easily scared or intimidated. I am more the type of person whose "flight" response seems to be out of order. This event however, caused me to have to go all the way back and start the process over.

Rape play is now a very hard limit for me. I inform every Dominant that I play with that even though it has only happened a handful of times over the years, if I hit a trigger during a scene ALL play stops at that very second. The results of ignoring or pushing past that point with me would be an extremely grievous error in judgement on their part.....and one that I can promise you that they would pay the consequence of. I have had more than just a few Dominants that I have spoken to on the subject offer to "help me" by "re-enacting"....I just say "No Thanks". My mind isn't a playground when it comes to any type of play that carries such a hefty pricetag.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Calandra)

Post #: 31

RE: Rape scenarios: WARNING VERY DARK SUBJECT - 6/4/2006 10:30:23 AM

ownedblackbeauty

Posts: 31
Joined: 2/21/2006
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i was sexually abused as a child. and as i grew up, i began looking for "love" in all of the wrong plaes, which led to more abuse and more rape. the only way i have dealt with it was by just putting up with the fact that it happened to me. of course, i always ask myself why me. i still do. its always in the back of my mind. i notice how it has affected me now to. i am a sexual person, but sometimes i wonder if i am forcing myself to be that sexual person. when it comes down to the act of sex, sometimes it leaves me feeling empty inside. i regret it a lot of the time. i even find myself doing the things that helped me escape the abuse when i was younger like closing my eyes or sucking my thumb... biting my hand. its hard to feel as though you have moved on when in the back of your mind you know you havent. for some reason, i find myself having fantasy thoughts about rape scenes, but i feel as though its all that i know. in fact, this may sound odd, i dont know how anyone else feels, but when i have sex... in order for me to "enjoy" it, it has to be painful sex. sometimes to the point where i just cry. and i cry and then my mind goes back and thinks about what happens... and i dont want sex anymore. does anyone have any thoughts about my situation?

slave ty
property of Master, Sir and spankingbeauty (cm.com)

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 32

RE: Rape scenarios: WARNING VERY DARK SUBJECT - 6/4/2006 10:46:30 AM

Calandra

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Joined: 11/22/2004
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I'm so sorry that the re-enactment didn't work for you. I know it probably saved my life in some ways. I am more relaxed, more aware of things (simply because I'm not spending so much of my resources coping with something that happened years ago - I live in the "now") and more easily able to trust people.

I do understand that "whats right for me" may not be right for everyone, so thats why I limited the respondents in the topic considerably.

You mention sleeping in the closet with a shotgun. I was coming out of my bathroom after a shower, and the "friend" was sitting in my living room... I used to take showers when everyone else was at school or work, so when they got home we weren't all waiting for the bathroom... Since the attack, I NEVER shower when I'm home alone, if I can help it, and I make no apologies for it. The vulnerability that you cannot hear if someone comes in, have no clothing and no way to defend yourself struck home. It's funny, I live in a house with five full grown boxers. My biggest male (my personal pet - Gryffindor) is in the bathroom with me nowadays laying on the bathmat if I do have to shower and no one's home. He'd protect me with his life if I needed him to. ~weird, huh?~

< Message edited by Calandra -- 6/4/2006 10:49:37 AM >

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 33

RE: Rape scenarios: WARNING VERY DARK SUBJECT - 6/4/2006 10:48:26 AM

Calandra

Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
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ownedblackbeauty

I have a couple of ideas that I'd like to share with you. They are quite private, and will require that I compose myself better than I am today (my pain level is quite bad today and I want to give you my best) May I email you within the next few days?

(in reply to ownedblackbeauty)

Post #: 34

RE: Rape scenarios: WARNING VERY DARK SUBJECT - 6/4/2006 10:55:00 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra
~weird, huh?~

No actually, it's pretty understandable.

I should have also said in my post that because of my background combined with my involvement in the lifestyle, I have had the opportunity to speak with many submissives on this subject. It has been in my experience that although I will admit that there are indeed people who come away from this type of play feeling better....I have yet to ever meet one who felt they were "healed" by it....and more often they have felt it was a mistake that they won't repeat.

I don't tell people not to do this nor do I judge them for doing so. I fully understand the strong motivations for it. I just want everyone who is considering such an undertaking to understand the risks involved.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Calandra)

Post #: 35

RE: Rape scenarios: WARNING VERY DARK SUBJECT - 6/4/2006 11:00:14 AM

ownedblackbeauty

Posts: 31
Joined: 2/21/2006
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please do Calandra. take your time. i look forward to your email.

slave ty
property of Master, Sir and spankingbeauty(cm.com)

(in reply to Calandra)

Post #: 36

RE: Rape scenarios: WARNING VERY DARK SUBJECT - 6/4/2006 11:01:24 AM

NCSilverWolves

Posts: 123
Joined: 5/31/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Reflectivesoul

This is going to sound bad....

I dont see or understand how creating a "rape" scene can fix or heal an actual rape. Rape is brutal and violent it is not an act of love or kindness. It strips away parts of your soul when it happens. I just dont see how you can call a scene a rape... you dont know when rape will happen it just does.... consenting to a scene takes away all the premise of rape in itsself. Discussing it also takes away the real elements that happen in rape, fear, hurt, anguish, some more fear, disgust, the shame you feel after it happens....

I dont know why someone would want to relive that experience, I know I sure as hell dont. My past is my past, I was raped and molested from the time I was 3 till I was 12 almost 13... thats a part of my life that can stay in the closet that its burried in. I cant go back and change it, I cant take away that it happened... I cant take away the fact that my virginity was gone before I even knew what the hell it was. and I sure as hell dont want to go back to being a 3 year old child being held down and raped by a grown man.... sorry I just dont see how scenes can even remotely be involved around rape.

A scene is consentual something you agree upon before the fact and usually ( I hope ) with someone you trust and care for.... yes while rape can and does happen in some cases with people we know, someone we trusted, it sure as hell isnt consentual on any part.

Calandra sorry but this is just not a friendly topic for me... and I find all kinds of problems with it....

Glad I kept reading and ran across your post. I for one do not understand this scenerio either. I actually find it disturbing. Let alone feel it would cause more damage than good. A recreation of this ...... well.... can't happen.... with a loved one. Because the loved one didn't do this. The trust and faith that no harm will come to one is not there with a stranger that violates every inch of you... from body to mind to soul.

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to Reflectivesoul)

Post #: 37

RE: Rape scenarios: WARNING VERY DARK SUBJECT - 6/4/2006 11:28:45 AM

trippingdaisy

Posts: 113
Joined: 6/3/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Halcyone

I'm curious to hear if there are any rape/abuse survivors who no longer hurt when they think of those times

Actually...me. i can actually look back and not hurt anymore. Part of it has to do with the scenes that i have experienced. i'm thinking that it would be different if it was an abuse situation, and not just a one-time rape situation.

There are two reasons why i have gotten past it enough to have it not be painful anymore. First off, therapy, and lots of it. That didn't help me as much as the second reason: it almost happened to one of my closest friends instead of me. She and i were both virgins when it happened, we were in the same house alone with this man, but she had a medical condition in which her hymen almost completely covered her vaginal opening. If he had done that to her instead of me, there is a good chance that she would have been harmed enough physically to cause permanent damage, if not enough bleeding to threaten her life.

Basically, looking back i'm thankful that she didn't have to go through it. That doesn't mean it didn't hurt for a very long time, or that i'm less thankful to my Master for helping me the way he has. It just means that i can look back and actually smile at the fact that she's okay. i hope that's made sense!

(i also wanted to add that i agree with the last part of your post. It's a very good thing when something good can come out of something that sounds terrible to some people.)

(in reply to Halcyone)

Post #: 38

RE: Rape scenarios: WARNING VERY DARK SUBJECT - 6/4/2006 11:34:24 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NCSilverWolves
A recreation of this ...... well.... can't happen.... with a loved one. Because the loved one didn't do this. The trust and faith that no harm will come to one is not there with a stranger that violates every inch of you... from body to mind to soul.

I agree with what you have said here. The following is an excerpt from a post I made on another thread awhile back. We were not discussing rape re-enactment but rape fantasy and erotica. I wrote a little bit about the reality of my rape vs. some people's fantasy idea of what rape is. Fair warning it is graphic........

quote:

There is nothing erotic about real rape and what I have read in literature doesn't come close to the reality. If I detailed my rape from my perspective I highly doubt anyone would be turned on by it...but it wouldn't be full of sexy erotic tidbits like the stories I've read. My mind was too busy envisioning my body floating in a ditch, newspaper headlines, my family at my funeral, my children with no mother, the pain when my face exploded, the pain when my ribs cracked, the pain oh FUCK the pain, the pattern on the sole of a boot right before it slams into your face, oh my God is this really all MY blood?....try to keep breathing, it would be much easier if there weren't these hands trying so hard to wring the life out of my neck, where is that knife?...hard to see it when your eyes of full of blood, in a car now, where am I going?, car door opening, asphalt whizzing by, tumbling...tumbling, skin grinding off.....those silly kind of little things. I know...not exactly erotic. The fact that there were penises involved was probably about the most insignificant part of the entire thing at the time that it was happening....it wasn't until much later that I realized what trauma that aspect of it all would bring.

How does one re-enact that? You simply can't.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to NCSilverWolves)

Post #: 39

RE: Rape scenarios: WARNING VERY DARK SUBJECT - 6/4/2006 11:36:56 AM

Calandra

Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline

I also don't "recommend it" because it is a very personal thing that no one can decide for you. But I hoped to hear accounts about the planning, the safety mechanisms, and the OUTCOME for those whether good or bad... I also know we had a safety net of friends who didn't know exactly what we'd be doing, but who would be home and ready to act if we needed them NOW. I even let my therapist know, and she gave guidelines and we did it on a night she was already on call.

I've found that a lot of those who have eventually re-constructed their rapes were to a point that they'd tried other things and were at that point "driven to re-enact"...

Thinking back, I haven't ever met ANYONE who undertook this lightly.

I do have an additional question that maybe I should have raised in the initial OP...

How do the ones who step into the role of the attacker prepare for this? Mentally?
How do they manage to do this, because they aren't just comforting their hurting loved one, but "stepping into the nightmare".

I know the one who did this for me had nightmares for the next month or so... he truly didn't realize how powerfully a rape victim is affected....

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 40

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Rape scenarios: WARNING VERY DARK SUBJECT

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