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RE: New on the scene. - 3/21/2012 2:47:03 PM

Focus50

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Joxtronian

What does it mean to be a TRUE dom, and what tips would you give a new guy on pleasing his slave. Sorry if this has been asked before, but it just seems that I got the wrong definition of dom&slave. Thank you in advance.

Apologies for the serious answer but when someone refers to themselves as a true Dom (or sub), I think they're trying to differentiate themselves from those who are more adopting a role for a given time or purpose.

It's who they are naturally, rather than having an ulterior motive.

Now back to normal twue dom programming....

Focus.

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RE: New on the scene. - 3/21/2012 2:52:01 PM

JeffBC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50
Apologies for the serious answer but when someone refers to themselves as a true Dom (or sub), I think they're trying to differentiate themselves from those who are more adopting a role for a given time or purpose.

How fascinating. I don't think I've ever heard anyone use the phrase in real life. The only times I've ever heard it was online and generally it meant one of two things.

He wasn't what I was looking for.
I'm a better dom than he is.

I've never actually heard it used (to my knowledge) to refer to some sort of "inner domliness" versus adopted role. Even then though it just begs the question of who's scoring this "inner domliness". I think it's always going to be an issue of "true for whom" and that's why I see the use of the phrase as either parochial or judgemental.

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RE: New on the scene. - 3/21/2012 3:41:35 PM

CaptJosh

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I don't go there myself. I simply am a Dominant. I don't expect the way I am to work for everyone, and I don't need it to either. It works for me and for my pet and that's enough. That said, I do use it when distinguishing between those of us who simply are Dominant and and the people who are just teenage boys trying something they think will get them laid easily. Other than that, "true Dom" never comes up.

EDIT: Changed some wording for clarity

< Message edited by CaptJosh -- 3/21/2012 3:42:32 PM >

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RE: New on the scene. - 3/21/2012 7:56:57 PM

GotSteel

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Joxtronian
What does it mean to be a TRUE dom, and what tips would you give a new guy on pleasing his slave.

If you're looking for detailed advice on various techniques or equipment, I'd suggest going over to fetlife. The way it's grouped makes it better for that.

If you're looking for relationship advice well here are the two most common responses on collarchat and as far as I can tell what question you're asking often doesn't factor into the equation.

#1. Heckle you for being new.

#2. Dump her.

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RE: New on the scene. - 3/21/2012 10:34:14 PM

Focus50

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

How fascinating. I don't think I've ever heard anyone use the phrase in real life. The only times I've ever heard it was online and generally it meant one of two things.

He wasn't what I was looking for.

I'm a better dom than he is.

I've never actually heard it used (to my knowledge) to refer to some sort of "inner domliness" versus adopted role. Even then though it just begs the question of who's scoring this "inner domliness". I think it's always going to be an issue of "true for whom" and that's why I see the use of the phrase as either parochial or judgemental.

Not sure I've heard it real life, either, but there's hardly a day goes by that it doesn't come up on these CM boards. Ad-nauseum = true defaults to twue....

You're *that* new here?

And I don't think I've heard anyone (other than a newbie) refer to themselves as a "true" dom/sub, either. Tends to be more about describing someone else. But hey, just my observations....

Focus.

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RE: New on the scene. - 3/21/2012 10:52:03 PM

mynxkat

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

If you're looking for detailed advice on various techniques or equipment, I'd suggest going over to fetlife. The way it's grouped makes it better for that.

If you're looking for relationship advice well here are the two most common responses on collarchat and as far as I can tell what question you're asking often doesn't factor into the equation.

#1. Heckle you for being new.

#2. Dump her.

Did you not read the thread and the responses? Not a single one of the responses to this thread falls into either of your categories. What I saw was a variety of different viewpoints all presented in at least a civilized manner, and one or two humorously.

I am inclined to agree with your first point, that FetLife's groups are a more effective way to find specific information regarding techniques and equipment. But, while potentially useful, that doesn't really speak to the OP's question (not that I'm going to bitch about someone going off topic in a thread here, goodness knows that NEVER happens *removes tongue from cheek*).

As for my take on the OP's question...

What it means to be a 'true Dom' is to learn about what you're going to be doing, communicate honestly with each other about what both of you expect out of a D/s relationship, and act responsibly toward your self and your sub. As for just what style your Domination takes, there's as many answers to that as there are Doms out there. Ditto with what style your sub's submission takes. The only thing that really matters is if the two styles are compatible.

In a healthy relationship, whether it's D/s or vanilla, both people work to please each other and themselves. Just how they do that depends on the people and the style of relationship they've worked out. There just really isn't any one size fits all answer here.

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Post #: 26

RE: New on the scene. - 3/22/2012 6:49:42 AM

HisPet21

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quote:

throws them in a cage when done and throws peanuts at it when bored.

You get peanuts. Lucky.

< Message edited by HisPet21 -- 3/22/2012 6:50:01 AM >

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RE: New on the scene. - 3/22/2012 11:01:01 AM

TNDommeK

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The cage and peanut idea is the way to go, however I would hose them off while in the cage. You know, just to clean them up.

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RE: New on the scene. - 3/22/2012 11:28:57 AM

CRYPTICLXVI

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Oh wait... this is the wrong thread.

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RE: New on the scene. - 3/22/2012 1:42:16 PM

TNDommeK

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OMG how cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is the wrong thread but its still precious. I hope Greedy Top sees this, I think she said she liked pot belly pigs. How cute!

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Post #: 30