RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (Full Version)

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OsideGirl -> RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (3/20/2012 7:41:22 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: submaleuk12



For me if you have bdsm desires you have 3 options

1 surpress it
2 express it
3 cure it



Again, BDSM isn't something that needs to be cured. You're blaming what you're fixated on, rather than blaming the fixation.

If you have an addiction, you need to deal with it like any other sexual addiction.





submaleuk12 -> RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (3/20/2012 7:41:36 PM)

Isn't everyone on here a bdsm addict?



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (3/20/2012 7:42:17 PM)

OP, why are you still here? Leaving BDSM is easy--stop participating.



hausboy -> RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (3/20/2012 7:43:23 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: submaleuk12

Isn't everyone on here a bdsm addict?


No.





OsideGirl -> RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (3/20/2012 7:43:27 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: submaleuk12

Isn't everyone on here a bdsm addict?


Nope. I don't need BDSM to get excited or experience sexual satisfaction. I can have perfectly wonderful vanilla sex and enjoy myself.

And that's the key definition of the whole thing.



wittynamehere -> RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (3/20/2012 7:45:24 PM)

You need help recovering from..... your own sexuality?
Sorry to hear that.



submaleuk12 -> RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (3/20/2012 7:45:41 PM)

Would people not find the links offensive?

I have spoke to pro bdsm people who have, yet to me they are just trying to surpress knowledge, which if more people especially submissive people knew about they wouldn't let themselves be controlled.



NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (3/20/2012 7:45:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
Because BDSM isn't a mental illness or addiction.

I'm in agreement with this.

quote:

ORIGINAL: VanessaChaland
I think spending time on a BDSM site and asking how to "recover" from BDSM is sort of counterproductive. :)

No kidding!

OP, I'm not sure what is so addictive about it. I don't see preferring kinky over vanilla any less okay than preferring vanilla over kinky. I can see where it might seem addictive if you are in the throes of sub frenzy. Then it DOES seem rather desperate and addictive-like.

But sub frenzy is something that usually passes after awhile. I started out as a sub even though I'm a Domme now & I've actually lived to tell you that sub frenzy DOES pass and you will get through it. I did without any outside help. Then things settle down and make more sense, once the frenzy passes.

The deal is, none of us understand WHY you want out so badly because you won't say WHY specifically you want out. What's the problem other than that maybe you've listened to conservatives tell you that it's perverted?

To me, this stuff is just kinky and okay, where child molesters and real-life rapists are perverts and not okay.

NBMG



MissImmortalPain -> RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (3/20/2012 7:46:57 PM)

No, not everyone on here is a bdsm addict. There are many people here that don't ever practice bdsm.



submaleuk12 -> RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (3/20/2012 7:46:57 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: submaleuk12



For me if you have bdsm desires you have 3 options

1 surpress it
2 express it
3 cure it



Again, BDSM isn't something that needs to be cured. You're blaming what you're fixated on, rather than blaming the fixation.

If you have an addiction, you need to deal with it like any other sexual addiction.



[/quo

Again for some people it is, it goes against my moral compass to be honest.



submaleuk12 -> RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (3/20/2012 7:48:28 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
Because BDSM isn't a mental illness or addiction.

I'm in agreement with this.

quote:

ORIGINAL: VanessaChaland
I think spending time on a BDSM site and asking how to "recover" from BDSM is sort of counterproductive. :)

No kidding!

OP, I'm not sure what is so addictive about it. I don't see preferring kinky over vanilla any less okay than preferring vanilla over kinky. I can see where it might seem addictive if you are in the throes of sub frenzy. Then it DOES seem rather desperate and addictive-like.

But sub frenzy is something that usually passes after awhile. I started out as a sub even though I'm a Domme now & I've actually lived to tell you that sub frenzy DOES pass and you will get through it. I did without any outside help. Then things settle down and make more sense, once the frenzy passes.

The deal is, none of us understand WHY you want out so badly because you won't say WHY specifically you want out. What's the problem other than that maybe you've listened to conservatives tell you that it's perverted?

To me, this stuff is just kinky and okay, where child molesters and real-life rapists are perverts and not okay.

NBMG



I think each to their own but it goes against my moral compass so I'd have to disagree with you there.

What did you think of the links?



OsideGirl -> RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (3/20/2012 7:49:44 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: submaleuk12

Would people not find the links offensive?

I have spoke to pro bdsm people who have, yet to me they are just trying to surpress knowledge, which if more people especially submissive people knew about they wouldn't let themselves be controlled.



Okay....my $45,000 degree is speaking up at this point. Whatever your issues are.....they aren't because of BDSM. They're because of something else inside you. You need therapy. Go find someone to talk to and stop trying to trying to convince yourself that we're all suffering from the same issues.



MissImmortalPain -> RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (3/20/2012 7:49:45 PM)

This
quote:

it goes against my moral compass
makes me wonder about something your links already had me thinking. Are you here seeking help or are you here to tell all of us that what we are doing is wrong?



submaleuk12 -> RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (3/20/2012 7:52:30 PM)

I'm seeking help, ive already got it, the reason why I'm here is in m first post.

Why do people get so annoyed and offended when I say how I feel?




Lockit -> RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (3/20/2012 7:53:06 PM)

submale12... I thought I remembered you and did a bit of a search. Boy, do I remember you. You basically say here... http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=3893955 That if you cure depression, you will have no need for bdsm.

Then here... http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=3853913 you believe that CFS and Fibro are energy diseases based on some crazy theory.

I didn't go any further... but I believe you are seeking answers and are fitting together whatever makes sense to you, whether it makes sense to anyone other than you or not... you insist that you are correct.

Since you have all the answers... and you feel you need professional help you can't find... If you can accept that you really don't know, maybe professional help would assist you. We can't help you... your previous threads have proven that.



submaleuk12 -> RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (3/20/2012 7:53:46 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: submaleuk12

Would people not find the links offensive?

I have spoke to pro bdsm people who have, yet to me they are just trying to surpress knowledge, which if more people especially submissive people knew about they wouldn't let themselves be controlled.



Okay....my $45,000 degree is speaking up at this point. Whatever your issues are.....they aren't because of BDSM. They're because of something else inside you. You need therapy. Go find someone to talk to and stop trying to trying to convince yourself that we're all suffering from the same issues.


I never had a panic attack in my life before I tried bdsm, or had anxiety or depression, so I'll have to disagree with you there.



submaleuk12 -> RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (3/20/2012 7:55:25 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

submale12... I thought I remembered you and did a bit of a search. Boy, do I remember you. You basically say here... http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=3893955 That if you cure depression, you will have no need for bdsm.

Then here... http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=3853913 you believe that CFS and Fibro are energy diseases based on some crazy theory.

I didn't go any further... but I believe you are seeking answers and are fitting whatever makes sense to you, whether it makes sense to anyone other than you or not... you insist that you are correct.

Since you have all the answers... and you feel you need professional help you can't find... If you can accept that you really don't know, maybe professional help would assist you. We can't help you... your previous threads have proven that.




I don't want you to help me.

I remember you from my last thread, your a woman who doesn't like anyone with an opinion different to herself, if people want to be cured of bdsm, why are people so offended by that?



MissImmortalPain -> RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (3/20/2012 7:56:51 PM)

My questioning your motives does not mean I am offended. If you are wondering I am not at all offended. I only wanted to know what your motivation was. If you have already found help someplace else, as you have said you did, then I am not sure what more help you are seeking.



OsideGirl -> RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (3/20/2012 7:57:02 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: submaleuk12

I'm seeking help, ive already got it, the reason why I'm here is in m first post.

Why do people get so annoyed and offended when I say how I feel?




Because you're trying to force your "feelings" onto other people that don't have your issues. You're fixated on the symptom and not the illness. BDSM is not the illness. The illness is whatever has caused your to become locked onto something obsessively. Until you come to terms with that.....you're just spinning your wheels.




Lockit -> RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (3/20/2012 7:57:46 PM)

Also... aren't you that guy that had a different nick that stated that after he saw or interacted with a domina, had a panic attack and was all messed up?

Hey dude... I don't care if people differ in opinions or anything else, from me. But I will call bs when I see it and that is my opinion, which I am allowed. You simply don't agree with me when I call what you're saying bs. You are the one with the problem.



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