RE: Help to recover from bdsm..

RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (Full Version)

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MissImmortalPain -> RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (3/20/2012 8:52:36 PM)
And did you notice that is only one cause ? errrm sorry typed that wrong. I shouldn't try to type and speak to someone at the same time.

submaleuk12 -> RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (3/20/2012 8:53:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissImmortalPain And did you notice that is only once cause ? Once? An emotionally healthy person would not have CFs or fibromyalgia, what did you think of the website?

submaleuk12 -> RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (3/20/2012 8:56:04 PM)
Ok I'm off to bed I'm up early tmw, I'll get on this time tmw night, prob be on page 10 by then

lizi -> RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (3/20/2012 8:57:36 PM)
Busy guy aren't you? http://www.collarchat.com/m_3954321/mpage_1/key_BDSM%252Cangry/tm.htm#3954685 http://www.collarchat.com/m_3492151/mpage_1/tm.htm http://www.collarchat.com/m_4033164/mpage_1/tm.htm he starts at post #36 and continues in through the thread http://www.collarchat.com/m_3934101/mpage_1/tm.htm

MissImmortalPain -> RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (3/20/2012 8:58:10 PM)
Sorry read the correction on my last post please. The link is interesting but it would be more interesting if they admitted to the people they could not help as well as those that they did. I find it odd that you would believe that a trama could not cause fibro, because I know someone that it onset in only after she had been in a wreck. After she was treated for depression for four years doctors found out she had an underlying health issue.

hausboy -> RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (3/20/2012 8:58:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: submaleuk12 Ok I'm off to bed I'm up early tmw, I'll get on this time tmw night, prob be on page 10 by then sleep in late....treat us alll

David519 -> RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (3/20/2012 8:58:43 PM)
OP: You state that you think of yourself as a "Forward Thinking Person" Funny, none of the fairy tale trolls I've ever read of were forward thinking. You bemoan that there isn't help available. I don't know what its like on your side of the pond, but over here we have this thing called Google. We also have these things called "the yellow pages" that list business' and services such as therapists. You say that your therapists were, in essence, mean to you. I've seen many therapists over the years, but have found one that I've been seeing for 17 months. Its not her job to be nice to me. Its her job to call me on my bullshit, which she does, which is why I continue to see her. What I'm telling you is that there is help out here if you truly are a "bdsm-addict". If you are a troll, I'm sure that you could find a hovel under a bridge somewhere for cheap. Sadomasochism was removed from the DSM in version 4. S&M, D/s...its how we roll here

Lockit -> RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (3/20/2012 9:11:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lizi Busy guy aren't you? http://www.collarchat.com/m_3954321/mpage_1/key_BDSM%252Cangry/tm.htm#3954685 http://www.collarchat.com/m_3492151/mpage_1/tm.htm http://www.collarchat.com/m_4033164/mpage_1/tm.htm he starts at post #36 and continues in through the thread http://www.collarchat.com/m_3934101/mpage_1/tm.htm Yes... he has a number of accounts... nicks... all full of spit and vinegar. All saying there is something wrong with us... some desiring it all, but always entertaining to some degree. That is why he makes comments about the length his threads go and how we respond. Gotta keep that spit shining going on. His kink he can't get away from... needing to start debates that go on and on and switch to other things and go on and on... seeking attention, until he gets none, then off to another profile. [:D]

lizi -> RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (3/20/2012 9:19:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit Yes... he has a number of accounts... nicks... all full of spit and vinegar. All saying there is something wrong with us... some desiring it all, but always entertaining to some degree. That is why he makes comments about the length his threads go and how we respond. Gotta keep that spit shining going on. His kink he can't get away from... needing to start debates that go on and on and switch to other things and go on and on... seeking attention, until he gets none, then off to another profile. [:D] Yes, he's got a point to prove and will keep coming back to beat the drum yet again although every time he does it always goes the same way. Think he'd give it up by now.

CaptJosh -> RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (3/20/2012 9:50:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: submaleuk12 quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit The first link I posted was you advising someone to find out where their depression was from and then they wouldn't need bdsm... that was advice to someone. It isn't taboo. It just isn't something that anyone is really agreeing with you on. Talk away... [;)] The links I posted backed that up. You have fibromyalgia, or chronic fatigue don't you? did you know they are caused by repressed emotions? T want to be cured of bdsm is the only taboo subject on here. Your very closed minded Ok, calling bullshit here. Fibromyalgia is NOT a psychosomatic disorder. It is thought to be caused by overactive nerves in muscle tissues. There may be psychosomatic illnesses that match the symptomology, but true fibro is neurological in nature, not psychological. I have friends with fibro and let me tell you they are damn tired of being told by people like you that it's all in their head. My pet may even be an undocumented fibro case, though some of her pain may be related to how many times she has been thrown by horses (or the time when that one horse rolled over on top of her) when she was younger, too. Her chronic lower back pain is certainly related to getting kicked by one. Hard to say if it's part of the muscle pain she endures regularly. And no, just because anti-depressants are often successful in treating this, it still does not mean it's psychosomatic. It just happens to mean that the antidepressants used, particularly cymbalta, happen to affect how nerves fire.

submaleuk12 -> RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (3/21/2012 2:55:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CaptJosh quote: ORIGINAL: submaleuk12 quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit The first link I posted was you advising someone to find out where their depression was from and then they wouldn't need bdsm... that was advice to someone. It isn't taboo. It just isn't something that anyone is really agreeing with you on. Talk away... [;)] The links I posted backed that up. You have fibromyalgia, or chronic fatigue don't you? did you know they are caused by repressed emotions? T want to be cured of bdsm is the only taboo subject on here. Your very closed minded Ok, calling bullshit here. Fibromyalgia is NOT a psychosomatic disorder. It is thought to be caused by overactive nerves in muscle tissues. There may be psychosomatic illnesses that match the symptomology, but true fibro is neurological in nature, not psychological. I have friends with fibro and let me tell you they are damn tired of being told by people like you that it's all in their head. My pet may even be an undocumented fibro case, though some of her pain may be related to how many times she has been thrown by horses (or the time when that one horse rolled over on top of her) when she was younger, too. Her chronic lower back pain is certainly related to getting kicked by one. Hard to say if it's part of the muscle pain she endures regularly. And no, just because anti-depressants are often successful in treating this, it still does not mean it's psychosomatic. It just happens to mean that the antidepressants used, particularly cymbalta, happen to affect how nerves fire. Your wrong there, fibromyalgia is caused by repressed emotions, anyway wpthats beside the point, I've not come here to talk about that, I want to know why people who want to get over bdsm is such a taboo subject, here's another scent article I found, from a former dominatrix nonetheless

submaleuk12 -> RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (3/21/2012 2:56:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit quote: ORIGINAL: lizi Busy guy aren't you? http://www.collarchat.com/m_3954321/mpage_1/key_BDSM%252Cangry/tm.htm#3954685 http://www.collarchat.com/m_3492151/mpage_1/tm.htm http://www.collarchat.com/m_4033164/mpage_1/tm.htm he starts at post #36 and continues in through the thread http://www.collarchat.com/m_3934101/mpage_1/tm.htm Yes... he has a number of accounts... nicks... all full of spit and vinegar. All saying there is something wrong with us... some desiring it all, but always entertaining to some degree. That is why he makes comments about the length his threads go and how we respond. Gotta keep that spit shining going on. His kink he can't get away from... needing to start debates that go on and on and switch to other things and go on and on... seeking attention, until he gets none, then off to another profile. [:D] Ive always maintained that adults should do what they want. All I posted here is why are people not offered help if they want out of it, like with alcohol etc and reaction is and anger of people is unreal.

submaleuk12 -> RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (3/21/2012 2:58:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lizi quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit Yes... he has a number of accounts... nicks... all full of spit and vinegar. All saying there is something wrong with us... some desiring it all, but always entertaining to some degree. That is why he makes comments about the length his threads go and how we respond. Gotta keep that spit shining going on. His kink he can't get away from... needing to start debates that go on and on and switch to other things and go on and on... seeking attention, until he gets none, then off to another profile. [:D] Yes, he's got a point to prove and will keep coming back to beat the drum yet again although every time he does it always goes the same way. Think he'd give it up by now. I've nothing to prove, you just all seem to close minded to debate with. I'll always get the better of an argument in here, it's too easy

submaleuk12 -> RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (3/21/2012 2:59:28 AM)
http://voices.yahoo.com/how-stop-being-dominated-women-take-back-your-1033681.html?cat=25

kalikshama -> RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (3/21/2012 4:11:03 AM)
quote: It's fine, I have found good help and i feel on the road to recovery but it was so difficult to find. For example at first I tried kink friendly therapists and they were almost offended that I was uncomfortable with feeling this way and me saying that bdsm messed me up was almost offensive to them, I felt they had an agenda, I guess I was addicted to the adrenaline bdsm gave me and the way it made me switch off, not saying everyone does it for these reason, but I'm also not saying I'm the only one who does it for these reasons. Aren't you the guy who said in a previous thread that you got therapy ONLINE? Are you seeing someone face-to-face these days?

kalikshama -> RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (3/21/2012 4:16:59 AM)
I believe I've said this to you in all your threads from all your incarnations: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BDSM#Psychology The DSM-IV asserts that "The fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors" must "cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning" in order for sexual sadism or masochism to be considered a disorder. In an AASECT article providing guidelines for therapists working with BDSM clients, sexologists Charles Allen Moser and Peggy Kleinplatz highlight that distress can occur in BDSM patients due to stigma and discrimination surrounding BDSM, and that in these circumstances the role of the therapist is to "validate the distress rather than to "cure" the BDSM desires."[88] The DSM-IVs' latest edition (DSM-IV-TR) further requires that the activity must be the sole means of sexual gratification for a period of six (6) months, and either cause "clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning" or involve a violation of "consent" to be diagnosed as a paraphilia.[89] ------- You are in a very small minority of posters here who are distressed by BDSM.

kalikshama -> RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (3/21/2012 4:39:27 AM)
. [image]local://upfiles/1052865/AA2AA340AA3A4CC5A26D99EB397E6511.jpg[/image]

sunshinemiss -> RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (3/21/2012 5:23:28 AM)
Here's my thought, for what it's worth. Take what you need and leave the rest! There are people who can become addicted to BDSM. However, it isn't the BDSM per se that is the addiction - it can be the thrill, the chase, the dependence on another person. It is for those people a symptom of a deeper issue. Sex addicts will often participate in BDSM just so they can get the sex hit they are looking for. Drug addicts will sometimes get involved in BDSM (and other things- like prostitution) in order to engage in drug usage with another person. Codependent people may get involved in an unhealthy relationship to fuel their dependence. People with food addictions may get involved with people who control their food as part of a BDSM relationship. While all of these people may be engaging in BDSM activities, it is not the activity or the behavior itself that is the issue. It is a SYMPTOM FOR THAT PERSON of a deeper problem. In Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, people are encouraged to identify their "bottom line" behaviors which tend to fuel their unhealthy addiction. For some of those people, it is BDSM-related behavior. People in Alcoholics Anonymous identify the things that affect them (alcohol, ahem) and that can include leather events if the smell of leather triggers them. (They may have only drunk in a leather bar before, for example). The thing about addiction - particularly ones that are related less to physical symptoms and more to brain function (and let's face it - where do the endorphins dance but the brain?) - is that they are rarely exactly the same from one person to another. They are connected with a biochemical response as well as habitual behavior, ruminating thoughts, etc. If BDSM related activities create a disturbance in your ability to interact in a healthy way in the world, it is probably worth looking at that with your sponsor / therapist / counselor. It may be that this is one of those items on the "Person, place, and thing" list that you may need to give up for healthy reasons. It sounds like SLAA may be a good place for you to go to get some support around healthy sexuality. Even if you are not an addict, clearly you have some concerns. Finally, not all people who drink are alcoholics, not all people who eat ice cream are compulsive overeaters, and not all people who participate in BDSM activities are addicts. good luck, sunshine

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (3/21/2012 5:26:07 AM)
You've posted a variation on this question before, with similar results. Part of being human is accepting that we all have sexual fantasies that you or others may consider taboo. You, submale, appeared to be compelled to act out your fantasies; and that is an entirely different issue. Not all fantasies are meant to be acted out. And only you, the individual, can decide if acting them out is harmful TO YOU. If they are (and from your many posts on this very personal issue they appear to be) that is an entirely separate issue from BDSM. If you are acting out fantasies that are harmful to you, then you rush yourself to a therapist who can help you discover why so you can stop. If you are acting out fantasies that you consider taboo, but that are not actually harming you, same thing, rush yourself to a therapist with a goal to finding acceptance for that which you can not change. BTW: That you have taboo fantasies does not mean you are compelled to act them out. Again, two separate issues. Have you rushed yourself to that therapist yet? As in, today?

kitkat105 -> RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (3/21/2012 5:57:23 AM)
[sm=dontfeedtrolls.gif] OP: You are a "special" sort, aren't you? On a side note, I am unsure why someone would think BDSM needs to be recovered from. It's far too much far to give up. [;)]

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