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RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. - 3/20/2012 7:58:27 PM

submaleuk12

Posts: 92
Joined: 9/4/2011
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Also of course I want answers tha make sense to me, why would anyone not?

The only reason for the post was in post 1, I feel there should be help for people caught up in bdsm, ny people who don't have a pro bdsm agenda

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Post #: 41

RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. - 3/20/2012 7:58:33 PM

hausboy

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THanks Lockit! I remember this now....

annoying. like a gnat.

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Post #: 42

RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. - 3/20/2012 8:01:46 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
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quote:

ORIGINAL: submaleuk12

Isn't everyone on here a bdsm addict?

No. I'm on here and I'm perfectly capable of having hot and satisfying vanilla sex. I'm in a D/D relationship with my partner and we have just that. We just happen to both be looking for submissives of our own at the same time.

quote:

ORIGINAL: submaleuk12
I think each to their own but it goes against my moral compass so I'd have to disagree with you there.

What did you think of the links?

Honestly? I think the information in the links is closed minded. I think you are of the opinion that anyone into BDSM has something wrong with them, so you think we should all go "get cured" of our inclinations toward BDSM. I don't want to be cured. I'm not an addict.

If you think there is something wrong with your natural inclinations, then that's your problem and I feel sorry for you, but I'd think the first and most common sense thing that you could do if you think you're a BDSM addict would be to stay the hell OFF of BDSM sites. In otherwords, why are YOU here??? When I realized I drank too much, I stayed out of bars. It only makes sense to, as the saying goes, "stay away from slippery places."

NBMG

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Post #: 43

RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. - 3/20/2012 8:05:19 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
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From: Apple County NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: submaleuk12
I never had a panic attack in my life before I tried bdsm, or had anxiety or depression, so I'll have to disagree with you there.

Then don't do it. It really is that simple.

I haven't had a full blown panic attack in years, since he took control. So if I was going to say that my experience is the only true one, then I should be promoting BDSM for everyone who has this disorder.

Obviously the experiences are individual. So you cannot generalize from your experience.

Why don't you think other people are allowed to choose for themselves what works for them and what doesn't? You think you should be allowed not to do this, and nobody disagrees with you. If you get to choose for me what I should do, without my agreement or consent, then I get to do the same for you.

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Post #: 44

RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. - 3/20/2012 8:05:29 PM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: submaleuk12
ny people who don't have a pro bdsm agenda

If you're anti-bdsm, leave. Then you won't have to deal with people that have happy and healthy relationship within the D/s BDSM realm.

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Post #: 45

RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. - 3/20/2012 8:05:52 PM

submaleuk12

Posts: 92
Joined: 9/4/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: submaleuk12

Isn't everyone on here a bdsm addict?

No. I'm on here and I'm perfectly capable of having hot and satisfying vanilla sex. I'm in a D/D relationship with my partner and we have just that. We just happen to both be looking for submissives of our own at the same time.

quote:

ORIGINAL: submaleuk12
I think each to their own but it goes against my moral compass so I'd have to disagree with you there.

What did you think of the links?

Honestly? I think the information in the links is closed minded. I think you are of the opinion that anyone into BDSM has something wrong with them, so you think we should all go "get cured" of our inclinations toward BDSM. I don't want to be cured. I'm not an addict.

If you think there is something wrong with your natural inclinations, then that's your problem and I feel sorry for you, but I'd think the first and most common sense thing that you could do if you think you're a BDSM addict would be to stay the hell OFF of BDSM sites. In otherwords, why are YOU here??? When I realized I drank too much, I stayed out of bars. It only makes sense to, as the saying goes, "stay away from slippery places."

NBMG

Hil thanks for writing

This is what I was trying to get across with the thread getting hysterical but lockit has seen to it that, tht won't happen.

I think the fact that you said those sites are close minded is a very close minded thing to say. Like the guy in the YouTube vid said a part of you splits, it's like saying someone wh is schizophrenic should act out in tht way as it's his natural inclination.

Yet in both cases it's only their due to trauma, or a splitting in a persons emotions.

If youve no wish to change that's great but people like me and I see myself as a forward thinking person have.

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Post #: 46

RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. - 3/20/2012 8:07:26 PM

submaleuk12

Posts: 92
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: submaleuk12
I never had a panic attack in my life before I tried bdsm, or had anxiety or depression, so I'll have to disagree with you there.

Then don't do it. It really is that simple.

I haven't had a full blown panic attack in years, since he took control. So if I was going to say that my experience is the only true one, then I should be promoting BDSM for everyone who has this disorder.

Obviously the experiences are individual. So you cannot generalize from your experience.

Why don't you think other people are allowed to choose for themselves what works for them and what doesn't? You think you should be allowed not to do this, and nobody disagrees with you. If you get to choose for me what I should do, without my agreement or consent, then I get to do the same for you.

Where did I say other people can't choose for themselves?

Your putting words in m mouth by saying that, please don't generalise people like me and tell if it's aft ted me or not.

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Post #: 47

RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. - 3/20/2012 8:09:22 PM

juliadryad

Posts: 22
Joined: 3/14/2010
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Myself I'd try 3 chocolate donuts, it works every time for me !

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Post #: 48

RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. - 3/20/2012 8:10:06 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
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quote:

ORIGINAL: submaleuk12

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: submaleuk12
I never had a panic attack in my life before I tried bdsm, or had anxiety or depression, so I'll have to disagree with you there.

Then don't do it. It really is that simple.

I haven't had a full blown panic attack in years, since he took control. So if I was going to say that my experience is the only true one, then I should be promoting BDSM for everyone who has this disorder.

Obviously the experiences are individual. So you cannot generalize from your experience.

Why don't you think other people are allowed to choose for themselves what works for them and what doesn't? You think you should be allowed not to do this, and nobody disagrees with you. If you get to choose for me what I should do, without my agreement or consent, then I get to do the same for you.

Where did I say other people can't choose for themselves?

Your putting words in m mouth by saying that, please don't generalise people like me and tell if it's aft ted me or not.

You pretty much did: you made it sound like that those of who are happy would change if we only knew the "truth"

quote:

ORIGINAL: submaleuk12

Would people not find the links offensive?

I have spoke to pro bdsm people who have, yet to me they are just trying to surpress knowledge, which if more people especially submissive people knew about they wouldn't let themselves be controlled.

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Post #: 49

RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. - 3/20/2012 8:10:11 PM

Lockit

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ROFL... Yes, I have a habit of making people hysterical. However, you make it easy with your posting history. I had a little help with this one.

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RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. - 3/20/2012 8:10:21 PM

hausboy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: submaleuk12

If youve no wish to change that's great but people like me and I see myself as a forward thinking person have.

...and you would be delusional.

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RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. - 3/20/2012 8:12:53 PM

outhere69

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Yep. Especially with that definition of schizophrenia.

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Post #: 52

RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. - 3/20/2012 8:13:38 PM

submaleuk12

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So from what I've gathered so far, anyone who has an opinion that goes aganst the norm, that bdsm is fine must be repressed as it's such a taboo subject.

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Post #: 53

RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. - 3/20/2012 8:14:28 PM

DarkSteven

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Fella, try walking into a Catholic church and asking everyone there if they have a cure for Catholicism.

We're here BECAUSE we like kink. So you;re asking kink-friendly people and kink-friendly therapists to agree with your assessment that this stuff is unhealthy.

Don't go looking for something where you won't find it and then complain it's not there.

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Post #: 54

RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. - 3/20/2012 8:15:15 PM

juliadryad

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be aware that part of you wants most of the Oh So Horrible things from Story of O to happen to you..
wander around with a sort of blissed out look, wondering why subspace will not go away.
find the donut store
eat the chocolate, to replace the chemicals your body is burning to produce all this rubbish . Hey, it's better than ocytocin. It's submissiveness !
eat the donut
engage logical thought patterns. enjoy chocolate bliss. find temporary peace.!

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Post #: 55

RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. - 3/20/2012 8:16:02 PM

MissImmortalPain

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Where did anyone say that?

quote:

ORIGINAL: submaleuk12

So from what I've gathered so far, anyone who has an opinion that goes aganst the norm, that bdsm is fine must be repressed as it's such a taboo subject.

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Post #: 56

RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. - 3/20/2012 8:17:32 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
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No, you are the one saying people should get into a group for recovery because bdsm causes panic attacks.
Nobody is forcing you to do this. In fact, it's the opposite.

We are very big on consent here. If you don't feel this is healthy for you, then nobody is going to want to engage in it with you. As long as you are honest about it.

It is, however, apparent to me that the actions involved did not cause the panic attacks. It is your own conflicts about your sexuality plus your difficulty separating what you were taught to think from how you actually feel that causes this.

If I rub The Man's feet because he tells me to, there is nothing in that activity to cause a panic attack. Any more than on the mornings my son wakes up with his neck kinked and he needs me to rub it to get rid of the headache.

If he notices my foot is acting up and orders me to sit at the far end of the couch and let him rub my foot, I don't have a panic attack either.

If you enjoy eating spicy food, then there's nothing unhealthy in that as long as you don't cause your mouth to be filled with blisters. If however, you are compelled to eat Scotch Bonnets until your mouth is blistered, the problem isn't the peppers or the blisters. The problem is why do you feel compelled to engage in something that unhealthy.

The answer would be very different from someone who suffers from Sensory Integration Disorder then in someone who was forced to eat them as a form of abuse when young. And therefore a group focused on why you do that wouldn't help because it wouldn't get to the root cause in either case.

You have major conflicts. You need to focus on finding out why you have them and how to integrate your feelings so as not to be torn. A group of people applauding you for not doing this wouldn't help. Go get therapy.

And I'm done arguing.

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Post #: 57

RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. - 3/20/2012 8:18:36 PM

hausboy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: submaleuk12

So from what I've gathered so far, anyone who has an opinion that goes aganst the norm, that bdsm is fine must be repressed as it's such a taboo subject.

look, YFDB, you don't go to a Christian website and denounce Jesus. You don't go to a website on Heavy Metal and claim rap music is king. And you don't come on a pro BDSM website and try to tell us that it's wrong and immoral.

But in your delusional mind...that's perfectly acceptable behavior

< Message edited by hausboy -- 3/20/2012 8:19:14 PM >

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RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. - 3/20/2012 8:19:14 PM

submaleuk12

Posts: 92
Joined: 9/4/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

ROFL... Yes, I have a habit of making people hysterical. However, you make it easy with your posting history. I had a little help with this one.

I was meaning you when I mentioned peop,e getting hysterical

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Post #: 59

RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. - 3/20/2012 8:21:06 PM

submaleuk12

Posts: 92
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissImmortalPain

Where did anyone say that?

quote:

ORIGINAL: submaleuk12

So from what I've gathered so far, anyone who has an opinion that goes aganst the norm, that bdsm is fine must be repressed as it's such a taboo subject.

Just look at the reaction, all I said was why is there no help for people who want to get out of bdsm, after all control is considered abuse, if people want to do it then good luck to them,

This will be a 20 pager at least.